Disclaimer: Don't own Harry Potter. Did you think that changed from yesterday?

AN: The Spider-Pig part from the last chapter is from 'The Simpson's Movie'. My brother is like obsessed with that song, so I had to include it somewhere!

Sirius

Remus

James

Peter

Sirius Black's Notebook- Entry 9

Lily is beautiful.

She really is.

And she said I might have a chance with her.

Then she kissed.

Did I mention how much I love that clock?

Lily's beautiful.

STOP SIGHING!!

I can't help it. Lily's beautiful.

You're repeating yourself there, Prongs.

AND STOP SIGHING!! IT CREEPS THE BLOODY HELL OUT OF ME!!! BE A MAN!!

I heard once that a true man wears pink.

No one asked you, Wormtail!!

Well, I agree with him. And didn't you say earlier to embrace your feminine side?

I…um… well… Why don't we get on to the real matter at hand, here?

Which would be?

Prongs is using my notebook as a diary!!

Padfoot, YOU use your notebook as a diary.

Well, the key word there is MY. MY notebook. I'm allowed to use my notebook as a diary, but no one else. GOT THAT?

Ay-aye, sir!

Did you hear about what happened with Candy?

No, what?

Ooh! This should be good! Get the popcorn, Wormtail!

Wormtail?

OI! WORMY, WORMY, WORMTAIL! WHERE ARE YOU?

Padfoot, he went to the library to get some homework finished.

Oh. And why weren't we told this?

You were. You just didn't happen to hear.

Ah.

So? What happened to Candy?

Well-

DON'T START THE STORY!!

Why?

Cause, I don't have my popcorn. Moony, oh my darling Moony. The light shines so bright upon thee. Would thou be so kind as to get me a barrelful of buttered corn, cooked to the extent of popping?

No. I'm the one telling the story, aren't I?

Fine. What about you, Prongsie, dahling?

No. And you know how I hate posh, uptown, British Accents!

We are British!

But not posh, uptown, British, are we?

Fine. But who will take care of the urgent matter involving getting me popcorn?

Why not you?

I'm too lazy!

For heaven's sake!! You're a wizard, aren't you? Then summon some popcorn!

Huh?

I take that back; you aren't a wizard.

I am!

Then prove it!

Fine!

Mmm, popcorn! Thanks for summoning it for me, Moony!

Well, considering the fact that you seem incapable of the simplest charm, I decided to help you.

Let's get on with it, shall we?

Well, Candy spent the whole night searching for Diggory. She scared several first years into submission, but still didn't find him.

She eventually decided to wait for him on his bed.

She followed a Hufflepuff to their common room, and climbed inside after them.

She then walked up to his dormitories, but found him snogging his date there.

She slapped his date, and pulled him into a snog.

Apparently, when she let him go, she lectured his date about how rude it was to force innocent boys to snog you.

Diggory then sent several hexes her way, along with is date, and she ended up, shoved outside the Great Hall.

She was dragged up to the hospital wing, and that was it.

Oh, she was let out of the hospital wing today.

HE-HE!! That was FUNNY!!

And he said that I scared HIM!

Hey, look, it's Wormtail. He looks really out of breath.

James! Candy's cornered Lily!

Meaning?

WHAT?!! Oh NO! I'm coming Lily!!

I still don't get the significance (big word alert).

And he's gone!! Prongs is quite fast, you know.

So. What do you bet's gonna happen?

I bet that James won't get Candy off Lily, and Lily will just revert to her usual self, and slap Prongs for being an arrogant, cocky, bullying, toerag.

Do believe in Prongs at all?

Not in the least.

Nice wording, though. And what do you say will happen, Padfoot?

Prongs will get Candy away from Lily, and Lily will start snogging him in thanks.

You wish.

Yeah. I wish she would do that to me.

Wait till Prongs hears that!

You better not!

Why shouldn't I?

Cause I was joking!

And Prongs will kill me!

Fine.

Now what do you bet?

I say he'll pry Candy off of Lily, but Lily won't want to get together with James, yet.

Okay. Now, for the fun part! What are the stakes?

Ooh! Ooh! Pick me! Pick me!

Yes, Wormy?

I think the tow losers should prance around the Great Hall during dinner!

That isn't good enough!

Wait!

What?

In your oyster suits!

Sounds good to me!

And me!

Fine.

But why in the world DOES he have those oyster suits?

No bloody idea.

Why did you get them, Padfoot?

Cause, oysters are cool, everyone knows that!

Uh…

And I wanted the chance to be an oyster! YAY!! OYSTERS!!

Okay.

That's weird.

Name one time when Padfoot hasn't been weird.

Got nothing.

I'm back!

How'd it go?

Well, I rushed to the library, where Peter was, and a little second year told me they were out by the lake.

I officially love Celestina Warbeck.

I ran down to the lake, and saw Candy backing up Lily to the big oak. Candy's hand was clenched around Lily's neck, and Lily was starting to look purple.

I ran over, and tried to pull off Candy.

It didn't work. She was holding on strong.

I then promised her that Id give her a kiss if she backed off. She did.

You actually KISSED CHANG?!!

Not really.

She backed off, and I told her to close her eyes. I then summoned a fish from the lake, and held it up to her lips.

I threw it back, and she opened her eyes, looking perfectly happy. She skipped away.

All she wanted was a KISS?

I turned back to Lily, who was glaring at me.

"I don't need your help. The situation was under control."

I raised an eyebrow. This caused her to glare harder.

"I don't like you, and never will. So bugger off."

"But, but, but, you told me…" I whimpered back.

"I thought you might leave me alone if I said that. Apparently, I was wrong."

She walked up to me and slapped me HARD across the cheek.

And you're acting all happy about it?

She touched me!

You're INSANE!!

Speaking of insane, cough-bet-cough.

Huh?

Huh?

Huh?

The bet!

Right!

What's going on?

C'mon, Wormtail. It's time to pull out those oyster suits again.

Coming.

THE OYSTER SUITS!! NOOOOOOOO!!!

Jeez, Prongs. Stop being such a drama queen. Just cause I kissed you last time I was in the oyster suit. It's no reason to scream!

I LOVE OYSTERS!! YAAAAAYY!!!!!