Chapter Nine
In Chapter Nine - Here it is, the time for Severus' delaying is over. Sev spills his secret and Harry gets a little surprise. Also, some insight into Sev's history, in the coming chapters I am going to be filling in the events between the Pensieve scene, which Harry witnesses in Ootp and the Snape that Harry first meets when he is eleven, going some way to explain Sev's behaviour in my AU. The revelation of the extent of what happened should coincide with the final battle chapter.
Harry and Severus will have some spare time in amongst all the visions and angst so if there is anything you would like to see let me know, if it fits in with the storyline I'll write it in. I am setting a slow progression pace for the slash, as it fits with the angst, but there will be action at their current level and the full works later on.
Warning: Sort of MPREG, apparently,even though nobody is getting pregnant, some people just get squicked by the slightest hint of it. Fertlilty issues, no gory details, Sev himself is too squicked to talk about it. Then the story will progress as before, references to possibilities of MPREG in later chapters.
Please review loads and loads, I got this chapter ready double quick, because of all of the wonderful interest from you all, hope you enjoy it :)
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Chapter Nine - Crimson Serpents
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Severus led them into a wood somewhere to the east of Dunblane, and as soon as they were away from the road he lit his wand tip. Harry dragged himself away from his thoughts and broke his silence. "Why are we going in here? It's creepy." Harry complained. Apart from the light from the wand there was no way of seeing where they were going despite the clear sky and the moonlight.
Severus was just glad to be spoken to, "I need us to be very secluded tonight." He had begun to think there was something more serious going on instead of Harry just wanting some time to think. He had been so withdrawn all day. Severus wished that he could persuade Harry to turn to him during these times instead of turning away. Although he was a bit of a hypocrite for expecting that of Harry since he understood the tendency to turn away from comfort only too well.
"May I ask why we need to be secluded?" Harry asked his curiosity ignited.
"You may." Severus replied. "And I'll tell you after we've eaten."
Harry sighed in mild irritation and continued following Severus, starting to become very curious as to what he was up to. It must be something big, Harry thought, Severus looked, for want of a better word, a bit jumpy. If it had been anybody else he might have said he was extremely nervous about something. But this was Snape, right? Professor Severus Snape didn't do nervous. Harry sighed to himself, but what about Severus, what about the man who lay beneath the mask?
Eventually they found a clearing and Severus set the stove up for their meal. Harry started to unpack their tent as per usual but Severus asked him to leave it. They would put it up later, for some strange reason yet to be revealed.
Harry sat watching Severus at work with the stove and felt wretched from the silence he had created, once started it was proving infinitely hard to break, Harry couldn't think of a thing to say which wouldn't sound stupid. He wanted nothing more than to be close and friendly once again. He considered trying to fake a vision, but since he was fairly unaware of Severus' perspective during an attack, he was ill equipped to be convincing. It was grossly unfair anyway and if he did have a vision no doubt Severus would put off whatever he was planning anyway.
"Brr, it's cold tonight." Harry said cursing himself for his stupidity even as he said it, it was a pathetic ruse and it wouldn't work. He couldn't believe how pathetic he had become around this man. Without waiting for Severus' response, which he didn't expect to be positive, Harry shuffled over to sit beside him. To Harry's surprise Severus didn't even twitch an eyebrow but reached over for the blanket they had just bought and wrapped it around both their shoulders.
"Are you all right now?" Severus asked. "I mean, of course you're not all right but…"
"A bit better now." Harry answered knowing it was pointless and insulting to try and deny anything.
"I thought you would need some time today." Severus continued in his efforts to draw Harry out.
"I did." Harry said feeling something approaching peace; Severus had only stayed away from him as long as he thought Harry wanted it.
"When people we care for die it is bad enough, but what do we do when we didn't care for them? Try to feel something that we don't, to defend ourselves against criticism? You will get no censure from me, whatever you feel." Severus said insightfully, handing Harry his food, they ate quickly from hunger.
"They were family, the only family I had, but all I have is emptiness. I didn't want them dead but I can't feel sad. I would have been quite content with never seeing them again." Harry replied feeling for once in his life as if he could talk a little about the Dursleys. Maybe it was the intimacy of the dark, most likely it was because it was Severus.
"You look sad." Severus said gently reaching an arm round Harry's shoulders beneath the blanket, hugging him in close.
"There were other things going on last night. I think it is that, I'm not sure. Feels more like it's that." Harry started to explain.
"The weird dreams?"
"Yes." Harry said suddenly feeling the sadness welling up inside him, irrationally, not for the deaths but for the dreams. He didn't understand it, he felt that he would cry if he had to speak again, he took deep breaths, trying to calm himself, drawing his knees up to his chin and turning his head away from Severus but leaning into his warmth.
"What happened? Where they prophetic in any way?" Severus asked.
Harry laughed bitterly. "No, they weren't prophetic, definitely not." He said, more to try to convince himself than Severus.
"What did they show you?" Severus asked realising how deeply they were affecting Harry, for some reason.
Harry felt the tears come to his eyes and stream down his face as his chest tightened. He felt Severus' arm holding him more firmly but it only made the flood of emotion more intense. "Happiness." Harry managed say, the tears were unstoppable and he didn't really understand why; he couldn't bear to say much more, he hadn't wanted to tell Severus all the ridiculous details anyway. "It felt like happiness." Feeling that he was already making a big enough fool of himself, Harry shifted his position to where he really wanted to be and Severus, without hesitation, gathered Harry into his arms as Harry came to him and held him tight against his chest, rocking him gently as he stroked his back.
"Are we still friends then?" Severus asked as Harry began to calm.
Harry couldn't help laughing a little as he remained snuggled against Severus' chest.
"Try not to hide away from me." Severus said gently. "You don't have to say anything, just come to me and I will help, if I can."
"Who died that you didn't care about?" Harry asked.
"See if you can guess." Severus teased not sure he wanted to get onto that topic, it was too late however, he couldn't fob Harry off with lies.
"Well you hated my father and he's dead." Harry said.
Severus groaned inside, he had expected Harry to be a bit less perceptive than that, had been relying on it. "Yes." Severus admitted, wishing he had never started. "And he saved my life, apparently, though I was in no state to know about it."
"You felt nothing when he was killed?" Harry asked, verging dangerously towards accusation.
Severus berated himself for not having chosen something safer to talk about. He was going to have to be very careful. "Harry, what you saw in the Pensieve, it didn't start that day and it didn't end there either. I saw little of your father after I left school, that's all I remember of him. We met briefly when he came to see Albus and I was present, but when he died, that was all I remembered."
"But you were expected to be upset?" Harry asked.
"Well, by that point, I was the Death Eater who got away with it, and probably only alive because Albus guarded me. Not that many people at that point knew my true role, that I had been spying for the Order at the end, not working against it." Severus said sighing. "To everyone else your father was a hero, the outpouring of grief following his death was overwhelming, people who had never even met him, wandering the corridors of the castle crying. I felt nothing and with every accusatory stare, I felt as if it condemned me. I could not pretend, not with that."
Harry had tensed a little and wasn't looking up at Severus, but he hadn't moved away from him either. "Well at least nobody will be calling my Uncle Dursley a hero." Harry commented.
"Do you mind if we get something to eat now?" Severus asked, thinking that if they continued on their current topic, they might get much closer to the truth than Severus could cope with.
"I would be very upset if you died." Harry said suddenly, turning his face away, hardly believing he had actually said it.
"I would be upset if you did." Severus replied. "However would I keep warm at night?"
Harry got up from Severus' lap and turned, he hit him on the shoulder with the back of his hand. "Git." Harry accused, "I was being serious."
Harry looked into Severus' eyes and Severus took hold of Harry's hand and held it tightly, smiling a little to show the truth.
"Oh." Harry said realising what had just passed between them.
After they had eaten and sounding beyond just nervous, Severus suddenly took the blanket away and spoke. "I have something I need to show you, I have waited long enough, I must show you, follow me." He said, the decision made, determined to get it over with. He would show Harry what he needed to show him and then he would ask. He had to do it and quickly before he lost his nerve.
Harry stood up and Severus got to his feet and led Harry to a tree trunk that was turned on its side. They sat on the tree trunk with the darkness upon them, moonlight their only source of light. All their things were piled up in one big heap. Severus reached inside his rucksack and started to pull out what looked at first like a letter opener but which expanded out into a full size sword. He then pulled out an identical one and laid them both on his lap.
"Wow." Harry said, observing the intricate metal work on the hilt of both swords, the detail of the serpents.
"These are a pair of Bichun Kin swords. On their own they are little more than ordinary swords, in the hands of someone who knows how to weald one and holds the Kin Bond, they can transmit large amounts of power. When I hold this weapon I have a powerful wand and a lethal blade but without a Kin Bond the power is weaker than it could be, a lot weaker. There is a special way of wielding it, to give its best effect, unique spells that harness its powers as well as the usual ones. The owner may draw on its power to jump and turn at amazing heights."
"You want to train me how to use one of these?" Harry asked.
"Yes and no." Severus said feeling beyond nervous still, scared in fact. "The greatest power lies in the fact that each sword always has a brother and if two people who are Kin with each other wield them together the power can be quite breathtaking, devastating to an enemy."
"But not just any two people then, it must be a relative?"
"Not quite." Severus tried to explain. "The Bond is not forged with blood but with genuine and deep regard. The kinship must be true; the swords can see it. It's a similar concept to the kinship bond you had with your mother and therefore the Dursleys, except that one WAS a blood connection, there was no need for them to actually like you."
"Just as well." Harry added bitterly. "Who did the other one belong to?" Harry asked.
"My brother, until he was killed on a mission." Severus answered.
"A mission for us or them?"
"For the Death Eaters, Harry. It was when we were both Death Eaters." Severus said feeling the all-familiar shame burning his heart. "The Bond can only be broken by the death of one of the pair." Severus continued. "The power is only as strong as the strength of the Kin Bond between them. When my brother died, the power was lost and I never found anybody else who was worthy, never had the heart to look. Not that Albus would have allowed it to happen, I don't think." Severus added, steering the conversation back to the topic.
"Why are you telling me this, if I can't use one?" Harry asked.
"Well, I think Albus would approve of my using them now, I think perhaps, that he might have intended it to happen. These swords could provide us both with fighting power, which could be what we need to help in the war with the Dark Lord. Our friendship could help form the Kin Bond; provide the united strength. With the right training we could fight together, complementing each other in battle. While we both held our swords neither could harm the other, no matter what curses or blows were wielded from them. I need to ask you if you will form a Kin Bond with me, before we can use them together."
"Why didn't you tell me about this before?" Harry asked with burning curiosity.
"If you had known, you would have tried too hard and our friendship would have been hindered by the pressure, not helped. It's not an easy choice either, to take the sword places you in the Kin Bond with me until death, and unlike a brother or other family member, where a blood bond exists also, you must remain at my side to maintain the power, we must live in proximity. You don't have to make your mind up today, this week or ever if you don't want to. If you accept the Kin Bond, it also means that you will be unable to kill me to save our secrets, for the power to remain I must live. You see why the bond must be strong, so we are strong enough."
"Will you ever stop going on about me killing you? I can't and I won't." Harry insisted.
Harry looked at Severus and thought of the kiss and how the love had surged through him then and every time he thought about it. Even if it was only a dream, it was real for him.
"What if the regard is unequal?" Harry asked knowing what he must do.
"The power is the sum." Severus replied.
"Is there a weird initiation ceremony?"
"No," Severus said, "You just have to pick up the sword and it will choose you, or not, as it wishes. The sword knows what lies between us."
"Show me, enough talking, show me what can be done with the sword, will it show me without the Kin power?" Harry commanded.
"Mostly, just much weaker than could be."
Severus placed one of the swords on the tree trunk beside Harry and took the other one in his hands. Metallic snakes wound round Severus' hand holding his grip; nobody could ever summon it from him. Severus made a few fighting moves then jumped up and spun in the air landing again on his feet without effort and in a starting pose the sword displayed before him. If Harry had been an enemy, he would have been very worried at the sight, the glint in Severus' eye and his whole demeanour said, 'I want to kill'. His clothes and coat swished with him as he moved, creating a swordsman's ballet, Harry watched in awe at the lethal gracefulness of Severus as he rose a few feet off the ground, as he wielded this magical sword. He watched in fascination as Severus took off a branch from a tree with a ball of fire from the tip of the blade.
Harry had already made his mind up; to him there was no choice to be made. He had sent Severus away so he could do it, no more talking. Brother, friend, whatever, he was already irretrievably bound to Severus in ways that could never be severed. No other person lived for him; he was his world, only when he was by his side, did he feel any kind of peace. And love, Harry thought, no, knew, that it was love, for him at least.
"You are mine, as I am yours, forever." Harry whispered to himself as Severus continued his demonstration. Harry took the sword up in his hand and held it by the hilt. The sword responded to his touch, the shimmering serpents glowing crimson as they wound round his arm. He could feel the power of their Kin Bond flowing through him, flowing through the sword. For the first time in his life he thought they might be able to fight back the darkness after all.
"Something I didn't have before." Harry said smiling to himself and looking proudly at Severus, his new Kin.
"Tannio ennyn!" Severus called pointing his sword at a large and ancient tree, presumably not noticing that his sword glowed crimson now too, too absorbed in his activities to have noticed the Bond.
The explosion knocked Harry backwards over the back of the log; the noise of the bang was enough to make his ears ring. There was fire everywhere, burning embers flying through the air like darts. The whole tree collapsed and exploded and then exploded again until all there was left was a crumbly ruin of charcoal.
Severus had been blown back by the blast too and he was surprised to find that he only felt a little bit sore. He scrambled to his feet as best he could.
"Harry!" Severus called in desperation as he noticed the completely destroyed tree and the unoccupied tree trunk.
"Over here." Harry called as he tried to disentangle himself from the roots he had got twisted round in the undergrowth. Severus helped to pull him up and immediately pulled him into a tight embrace that nearly squeezed the life out of him.
"Hey, leave a bit of me for the Dark Lord." Harry joked. He sobered when he saw the distraught look on Severus' face. "I'm all right." He added holding up his sword arm.
Severus' face turned a sickly shade of white and he looked as if he might pass out, he stared at the sword, now at one with Harry's arm.
"I have never seen anything so…you?…I…oh." Severus mumbled.
"I did it," Harry said feeling pleased with himself. "You can start training me tomorrow."
Severus continued to stare at him, and then he looked down at his own sword, then back at Harry.
"I hadn't finished explaining everything," Severus gasped.
"Well I had heard enough," Harry replied smiling proudly at Severus.
Severus suddenly pulled Harry back into another embrace but not so roughly. Harry allowed himself to lean into the hold, feeling what he thought was warmth and tenderness. Severus' cheek rested in his hair, Harry wrapped his arms round his new Kin.
"I feared you only wanted me as your friend because we were alone with nothing else." Severus spoke to Harry with barely checked emotion. "I could only hope that my part would be enough."
"Seems the sword knows more about it than either of us." Harry replied prolonging the embrace.
Severus showed Harry how to make the sword let go of his arm. It stayed a glowing red colour to show the existence of their Bond and Harry put it away in his rucksack watching with fascination as it shrank to the size of a paper knife as he did so.
Harry erected their tent while Severus started making them a hot drink to have before bed, having that afternoon discovered the joys of instant Horlicks sachets and bottled water. It was a bitterly cold night and the wind was hitting them hard despite the supposed shelter of the trees. Harry wrapped himself as well as he could in his three coats and rubbed his hands together.
When Severus handed him his drink Harry cupped his hands around the bowl to warm them first then drank when he could feel the tips of his fingers again.
"Oh, it's so cold tonight, brr." Harry said glancing up at Severus who was still drinking his Horlicks.
"You do not need to complain how cold it is, using it as an excuse to sit close to me." Severus said in what Harry recognised as mock irritation. "We are Kin now after all."
Harry didn't waste any time trying to defend his intentions and moved up closer to Severus. Severus rearranged their coats and wrapped the blanket around both their shoulders. Harry felt a hand go round his waist as he was pulled in close. He found that Severus was shivering as much as he was.
"Was the Kin as powerful as it was with your brother?" Harry asked not sure he wanted the answer.
"Yes, it was." Severus answered not elaborating further; hardly daring to think of the only explanation that was possible, the only way the Bond could be as it was.
They went back inside the tent as soon as the stove had cooled enough to be left.
Later that night Harry woke. At first he didn't know why, but then it happened again and he recalled the feeling occurring as he had woken. A strange tickling sensation swirled deep within his lower abdomen as if he had two snakes writhing around in there; he hoped that wasn't what it really was. Harry hoped it would stop soon, it wasn't painful as such, just achy and not particularly explainable. He was putting off having to wake Severus for what was probably something to do with what they had been eating. He decided he would have to, however, when a prolonged minute or so of wriggling turned to gripping and intense pain deep within him and it didn't want to stop.
Harry reached out a hand to Severus' shoulder and shook till he got a sleepy response from his companion. First of all Severus looked unhappy at being disturbed, then as sense prevailed he abruptly sat up, "What's the matter, did you hear something?" He asked.
Severus reached inside his coat for his wand and gave them some light. It was then that he encountered Harry's pale and pained expression peering up at him from a body curled up in a foetal position.
"I have pain, but it's really weird, I don't know what it is." Harry said expecting Severus to be annoyed or at the very least, a bit puzzled.
Severus turned as white as the shirt he was wearing and Harry could see the look in his eyes.
"What!? Tell me." Harry demanded, dread sinking through his body, Severus knew what it was and Harry could tell it wasn't good.
"I forgot." Severus said still staring at Harry, shaking his head slightly. "You wanted me to show you and I did, you took up the sword, I should have told you before that, but I didn't have time. You took up the sword and I was too awed by it, I forgot that it would happen. I can't believe that I forgot."
"Forgot what?" Harry asked starting to get very worried as the pain was still there, though not so intense. Severus wasn't making any sense; it just wasn't like him to babble.
"The thing, the thing to do with the Kin Bond."
"Severus, I am in pain here and I would like you to tell me why, RIGHT NOW!" Harry demanded.
"With a Kin Bond you wouldn't be expected to form a bond with anybody else, yet the line of powerful wizards must be maintained, cannot be lost by such a thing. It was the same when I made the Kin with my brother. Though I was too badly injured to notice when it happened, when he gave me the sword I was barely conscious, it was just there when I became well. I never used it before he died."
"Severus!" Harry warned again.
Severus swallowed and looked into Harry's pleading eyes. "Don't worry, the pain will pass soon, then you can kill me for not telling you sooner." Severus paused, cringing inside. "You now have the capacity to bear a child."
"So I'm not dying then?" Harry snapped at Severus.
"No."
"Well couldn't you have just said so? That was what I thought was happening."
"Sorry." Severus offered, then waited for the information he had given Harry to sink in.
Over the next few minutes the pain subsided leaving only a vague tickly feeling. Harry uncurled slightly and felt able to breath again though he still felt different somehow.
"Bear a child? You said I could bear a child? That was what you said wasn't it?" Harry asked as he remembered.
"Yes." Severus replied, "The youngest of the Kin can."
"And the pain and everything, was what exactly?"
"Growth, sudden magical growth." Severus replied steering away from having to spell out the gory details.
"Of…of…hmm…right." Harry replied figuring it out for himself.
"You don't have to use it." Severus added. "I would never expect you to."
Harry curled back down into the sleeping bag as if to go back to sleep. "Was your brother older than you?" Harry asked, curious.
Severus lay down next to Harry. "Yes."
"So you have…? All this time…?"
"Since I was seventeen or so." Severus answered.
"And you never…used it?"
"No, I never did. I was only compatible with my Kin anyway."
"Your own brother?" Harry asked in amazement.
"I know, I know, probably wouldn't have happened even if he had lived." Severus said feeling very strange about talking about this with anybody. Albus had always known about the details of the Kin Bond with his brother, so they had never talked about it and he had been the only other who had known at the school. Anybody who bothered to research Bichun Swords in the restricted section of the school library could have found out all about it, but nobody had ever been that interested in the truth about Severus. Soon, nobody even remembered there had been a Bond at all, his whole reason for coming to the castle, to defend the loss of it.
"So, I am only compatible with you?" Harry asked looking a bit dazed.
Severus broke away from the thoughts he had drifted into. "Yes, though I don't know whether it goes the other way round or whether I am still linked to my brother, in spite of the fact he is dead and I have my new Kin. I am fairly certain I won't be, it is always the youngest that, you know… I have never read of it happening differently. Not that it matters." Severus added trying to judge Harry's reaction. "We're hardly in a position to be considering such things, living as we are. I just wanted you to know the whole situation, in apology for the way you found out."
Well, it didn't matter really, Harry thought, Severus was right, it wasn't as if they were going to use it. The memory of the dream came suddenly to Harry's mind and he pushed it away. Then something more amusing occurred to him. "Now I know why you were so grouchy, all this time you had…" Harry said.
"Shut up, Potter." Severus said a little snappily, but out of the embarrassment Harry had set out to provoke, not anger.
"No, I won't." Harry replied, "You owe me the right to torment you now." Harry added turning on his side and not saying anything further anyway. Harry tried to comfort himself with the fact that Severus had been very keen to point out that Harry didn't have to use at least one of his new abilities. Well, if HE doesn't want to, Harry thought, it's not going to be much of a problem.
Harry lay awake with his eyes shut, thinking. Thinking about the dreams and the strange coincidences that he didn't believe in. There was the book getting chosen by Severus, the voice in his head when he slept encouraging him to get close to Sev, the crystal ball rolling out of the rucksack just at that critical moment when Sev had insisted he had packed it away, the dream about being pregnant right before he was offered the sword. Something, no, somebody was helping them along.
'Alexian?' Harry thought. 'I can hear you; I know you're there. Who are you?' There was no answer that night.
Severus was awake long after Harry fell asleep wondering why he hadn't been as shocked as Severus thought he would be, or as disgusted. Maybe there was no shocking Harry any more, Severus considered. When you believed you were as good as dead, what was the point? It had been different when it had happened to him all those years ago, Severus remembered as he tried to settle back to sleep.
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Character's Note: Harry and Severus Snape would like to announce that they will be far too busy defeating evil in the foreseeable future and can not at present contemplate anything to do with the enhancement of the wizarding population. However, should the Dark Lord be defeated...then...maybe...
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Author's Note: Thanks again for all your reviews, some of the things you have mentioned will feature in coming chapters.
A note on MPREG, although I don't want to give anything away plotwise, if you don't like MPREG you should still be OK with this, since it is in fact more like Mfertility/angst, no preg, very THE CHAPTERS FOLLOWING THIS ONE THEIR 'ABILITY' WILL ONLY BE REFERRED TO BRIEFLY, NO GORY DETAILS. This is why I have not rated as MPREG from the beginning (though I have now changed the ch1 page to mention it).The sequel WILL be mpreg, but that's QUITE a while in the future.
