2010

January

Crowley relaxed in his seat, watching the film playing out on the screen in front of him. To an outside observer, he looked completely at ease and totally enthralled by what he was watching. On the inside, and to those that knew him however, it was an entirely different thing. He was silently going insane as he waited for the inevitable visit he knew Laurel and Hardy would pay him, and could only be thankful that Gabriel had painstakingly set up all the anti-angel wards around his building to keep the pesky pet angel out of his house. It was bad enough that he had to spend an indefinite amount of time in America (he could already feel himself getting more and more insane. The day before he'd accepted one of Gabriel's sherbet straws), but now he had to have two hunters in his home. He didn't like Harry enough to allow their little angel to enter as well. Angel's made him itch.

Gabriel being the only one that didn't. But then, Crowley had noticed that Gabriel was the in the minority for most things angel-wise. Or in general.

He was brought out of his musings over whether or not Gabriel actually wasn't considered in the minority for anything when his electricity was cut. Show time it would seem.

Harry owed him at least five autographs for this.

Standing, he calmly walked out of the room and made him way to where he knew the brothers would be entering. Really, the amount of diversion wards and tricks that he, Harry and Gabriel had laid down, the two brothers didn't stand a chance in making their own way around the place.

"It's Crowley, right?" The taller brother asked, when they noticed Crowley standing before him, Crowley just tilted his head as affirmative and smirked.

"So," Crowley called out, noting how tall they both were and mentally cackled at what Harry would have to say about that, "the Hardy Boys finally found me. Took you long enough."

Crowley started to walk towards the two, but noticed his rug looking rumpled and out of place between them. OCD was something one picked up along with a healthy dose of paranoia when one had more enemies than they had had hot dinners. Or hung around with Harry and Gabriel for long periods of time. He did both. His paranoia and OCD, he would admit, were no longer at 'healthy' levels. Nudging at the carpet with his foot, he crouched and little and looked under it, scowling when he saw a Devil's Trap drawn on the bottom.

"Do you have any idea how much this rug cost?" Crowley snapped, and he noticed that the taller of the two had the decency to look apologetic. Well, up until the two demons hiding in the shadows behind them saw his signal and moved to grab the two. Crowley waited for them to stop struggling and then give him their attention once more before holding up the Colt. "This is it, right? This is what it's all about."

Crowley glanced at the gun in his hands and then aimed it at the shorter brother, the one that showed no remorse over completely destroying his rug and eradicating it's market value down to a couple of pence. He grinned when they both froze, then shifted his aim an inch or so and shot the two demons holding them.

"We need to talk. Privately." Crowley added with a glance to the dead bodies for an explanation. No need making them think he was another bloody bleeding heart. He was best friends with the emotionless Master of Death and the heathen Archangel Gabriel. Really, his heart bled for no one. Heroes deserved to be drowned at birth in his opinion. Annoying bastards.

Crowley led the two – and really he tried to recall their names but couldn't find it in him to care enough to try too hard. He was certain their names had been mentioned by someone before. He thought that maybe one was called Dave or D-something – to his office and moved to lean on his desk and looked at them.

"What the hell is this?" The shorter brother demanded as he stood next to his brother, glaring at Crowley. Dom? No, that wasn't it either.

"Do you know how deep I could have buried this thing?" Crowley asked them, ignoring the question from – Declan? Still not quite right – and looking at the gun with a sneer. Truthfully, he'd actually just given it to Gabriel to play with until Derek (Wasn't that name either) had pointed out they could possibly use it as leverage somehow. Crowley glanced up and waved his hand, making the doors behind the two hunters slam shut. "There's no reason you or anyone should know this even exists, except that I told you."

"You told us." The taller brother, whose name Crowley wasn't even going to try and guess, deadpanned, looking at him in disbelief. Why no one had anything faith in him, Crowley had no idea.

"Rumours, innuendo, sent out on the grapevine," Crowley told them with a smirk, wondering if Harry had left that bottle of Shiraz he had promised him.

"Why? Why tell us anything?" The taller asked him, and Crowley began to wonder if the short one – Duncan maybe? Nope – was just going to stand there looking pretty. Maybe too pretty, Crowley thought and aimed the Colt at him.

"I want you to take this thing to Lucifer and empty it into his face," Crowley finally told them after he'd had enough fun making them fidget.

"Uh huh, okay, and why exactly would you want the devil dead?" Dan? No, but that was closer than the other two – asked him. Crowley just gave a suffering sigh and stared at him like he thought he was stupid. Because he was honestly beginning to think he was stupid.

"It's called survival," Crowley said, putting the gun down and eyeing the two shrewdly. They were the Winchester's after all, "Well, I forgot you two, at best, are functioning morons –"

"You're functioning… morons…" Dane? No, but really, the name was on the tip of his tongue now – said, trailing off as he clearly noted just how much of an insult that wasn't. Really. Crowley just stared at him, feeling a little more justified in doing so when he noticed his brother doing the same.

"Lucifer isn't a demon, remember? He's an angel. An angel famous for his hatred of humankind. To him, you're just filthy bags of pus. If that's the way he feels about you, what can he think about us?" Crowley asked with a mental scowl at Lucifer, overall pain in his neck. Hopefully the two brothers would take his damned offer up and they would finally be able to find out if the Colt worked on archangels. Without them trying on Gabriel. Who wasn't completely an archangel anyway, so who knew how that would turn out?

"But he created you," the taller brother said and Crowley gaped at him, honestly wondering if the younger Winchester thought he and Lucifer should go into some sort of family counselling.

"To him, we're just servants. Cannon fodder. If Lucifer manages to exterminate humankind, we're next. So, help me, huh? Let's all go back to simpler, better times, back to when he could all follow out natures. I'm in sales, dammit! So what do you say it I give you this thing, and you go kill the devil?" Crowley asked them, holding out the Colt, handle first for one of them to take it.

The brothers glanced at one another, and Crowley wiggled the gun a little, teasingly and silently wishing they would hurry up and take it. The taller brother looked at him suspiciously, and then hesitantly reached out and took the gun.

"Great," he muttered, taking a hasty step back to stand next to his brother – Dean? That's it! Crowley actually had to catch himself to stop himself shouting it out in relief. Damn name had been driving him insane.

"Great," Crowley echoed, though he wasn't too sure if he was saying great to the same thing. Really, if he could recall the other brother's name, he'd be golden.

"You wouldn't happen to know where the devil is, by chance, would you?" Dean's brother asked him and Crowley just shrugged and glanced to the side carelessly.

"Thursday, birdies tell me, there's an appointment in Carthage, Missouri." Crowley wasn't too sure Gabriel would appreciate being called a 'birdie' but if the hat fit…

He watched the brothers glance at one another before Gigantor, which should be his name if wasn't actually it, gave a nod and looked back to Crowley, "Great."

The hunter then held the Colt up and placed the barrel between Crowley's eyes, pulling the trigger. Crowley just smirked at the click, and looked at him with a raised eyebrow. Just how stupid did they think he was?

"Oh, yeah, right, you'll probably need some more ammunition," Crowley admitted with not an ounce of remorse. He was the King of the Crossroads, did they think he go to that point by letting anyone walk all over him.

Admittedly, he did have a little help in getting there as well. Still had no buggering clue what to do with all the souls he had, though. Grinning to himself, he walked behind his desk and grabbed a bag he had put in the drawer.

"Oh, uh, excuse me for asking, but aren't you kind of signing you own death warrant? I mean, what happens to you if we go up against the devil and lose?" Dean asked him and Crowley couldn't help but wonder why it would matter to either hunter what would happen to him if this went tits up. Which, knowing the two in front of him, it would.

"Number one, he's going to wipe us all out anyway. Two, after you leave here, I go on an extended vacation to all points nowhere," or Gabriel's temporary house, he thought, "and there, how about you don't miss, okay! Morons!" Crowley finished with a yell, scowling at them and throwing the bag containing the bullets at Dean and then quickly vanishing from the manor whilst the brothers' attention was on the bag and not him.


Lucifer felt the rising power that signified that he was very close to achieving his goal and shot a glance over his shoulder to where he had thrown Dean Winchester, only to scowl when he saw that they had gone. Meaning that his brother, Castiel, had also escaped.

Turing his attention back to where Death would rise, he smirked, eyes coolly glancing over the dead bodies of the demons, smirk widening when a bolt of lightning hit the ground inches in front of him, leaving behind a strong smell of ozone and a short, frail-looking figure.

Once the dust and soil that had been thrown up from the force of the lightning hitting the ground, had settled, Lucifer felt confusion run though him, though didn't show any on his face, as he saw the figure properly.

The man had pale, almost waxen, skin and had dark black hair hanging limply around his face in tangled loose curls. He was short, standing at about five foot eight, tops, and was wearing a long black robe that practically dwarfed his frail body and billowed on the floor around his feet, making Lucifer wonder if the robe actually belonged to the man, who was most certainly not Death. Lucifer also took note that showing from out of the too long sleeves was a strange wooden stick in the figure's right hand, and a curved blade, similar to Death's scythe but couldn't be the actual blade of Death, held in the figures left hand.

Lucifer shifted and allowed a frown to show on his face as a sign of his displeasure, his moving had caught the attention of the man in front of him, who had been staring at the ground since his arrival. Lucifer felt his body involuntarily freeze for a few nanoseconds when piercing forest green eyes locked on to his own and a black eyebrow rose in a silent question.

"What do you need from the Master of Death?"


"What do you need from the Master of Death?" Harry asked the man, using his official voice, which actually made him sound like he had lost his voice. He also had to urge to eat a strepsil when he used it.

Harry took a slow step forward, smiling at the feel of dewy grass under his feet and then looking up at the man in front of him once there was barely an inch between them.

"Where is the Horseman?"

"You wish for Death? I am his Master, he listens to me." Harry told him a little more forcefully, narrowing his eyes at the man in front of him and wondering just who he was.

"I have called all the Horsemen forth."

"You're starting an Apocalypse? And you wish for my servant's help in this?" Harry asked the man, who seemed to be getting frustrated that Harry wasn't obeying his every wish.

"Do you know who I am?"

"No." Harry admitted with a slight tilt of his head, and he held back a grin when the man took a step back in shock and looked at Harry in confusion.

"I'm Lucifer." The man, Lucifer, told him, in a voice that indicated that Harry should know who he was.

"Hello, Lucifer. I'm Harry, the Master over Death, and until you show me why you wish to destroy this planet, my servant will not help you." Harry informed him politely, blinking blankly when Lucifer actually gaped at him.

"You haven't heard of me? At all?"

"No."

"Have you heard of Satan?"

"The evil guy in Christian beliefs? I've heard of him."

"That's me."

"Oh, well, that's nice for you. I'm still not helping you until you tell me why you are doing this."

"I want this world and the pathetic creatures that inhabit it to burn."

"Oh well, in that case. Have at them." Harry said sarcastically, sneering at the man in front of him.

"You would do well not to anger me further." Lucifer told him, glowering at Harry, who just crossed his arms over his chest, making sure to flash the two weapons to remind Lucifer he wasn't completely harmless.

"You are not the first holy figure I have met, nor will you be the last. You think your religion is the only one on this planet? You think the only opposition you will have is from who ever the hell the good guys of Christianity are? There are hundreds of Gods, Goddesses and religious beings out there that will oppose your plans."

"So you are saying you refuse to help me? You have made up your mind?" Lucifer asked him and Harry cocked his head to the side and looked at him closely.

"No. I said I would listen to why you are doing this. I think there is another reason other than the one you gave me. So I will stick around. Watch what you do. Try to find out what it is you wish for my servant to do. And to make sure you don't hurt kittens."

"Ki – So you are willing to give me a chance?" Lucifer asked, having clearly decided not to bother asking about the kitten remark.

"I am. So can I call you Luci?"

"No."

"Huh. Lucifer it is then. Where are we by the way?"


"How did someone so young, find themselves to be Master of Death?" Lucifer enquired and Harry just shrugged and looked away from him.

"Different ways. You think I'm going to tell you? You want to burn this world and everything in it, to the ground. My being Master of Death is the only thing that ensures I will survive whatever happens. So no, I won't be telling you." Harry told him vaguely, not looking at Lucifer and thus not seeing the anger flash in his eyes before he hid it.

"I suppose that is understandable then. You should know, I will find out how. And when I do, I won't allow you to hinder me anymore." Lucifer warned him and Harry scoffed at him and turned to look away from him, to where a pale green, almost cream, Cadillac was driving towards them.

"Ah, here he is. Right on time, too. Death's never late, after all. Would be bad business." Harry commented, pushing off of the wall and walking past Lucifer to greet his servant.

"Master, what are you doing here? I left you in Belarus last month. I had assumed you would still be there. When I sensed you in America, I was quite surprised." Death said in a low voice as he stepped out of the car and bowed his head at Harry, then held open a pizza box. "The pizza in this country is better than anywhere else."

"Even Italy?" Harry asked him, taking a slice of the cheese and tomato pizza and taking a bite, humming in pleasure. "Oh no, you're right, this is nice."

"Exactly. Master… why is Lucifer standing behind you?" Death asked, looking past Harry to where Lucifer was standing and watching them.

"Oh, he wants to take over the world, burn everyone to the ground and dance in the ashes. But he needs your help in that. No idea why. I've told him that I won't let you go out to play until I'm sure the big kids won't bully you." Harry told his servant, serious tone belying the light-hearted wording.

"And you feel no compulsion to follow his orders?" Death asked Harry in a quiet voice, which Lucifer couldn't hear.

"No. And Death can only have one master. That's me. Derek, you may need your ring. Take it. Keep it safe, you know what to do with it. Make sure it doesn't get into the wrong hands. Understand me?" Harry asked Death, taking a gold ring with a black stone in it, off of his finger and handing it to a shocked Death.

"Of course, Master." Death said, dipping his head and then placing the ring on his own finger, next to the finger holding another ring.

"Good, so, you know Lucifer? Good to know, introductions aren't needed. They always have bored me a little. Did you stop that kitten farm in Essex? And did you teach their souls a lesson they aren't likely to forget in a hurry?" Harry asked at a normal volume, ignoring the feeling of Lucifer's eyes boring into his back.

"Their reincarnations will never be cruel to a cat ever again. The kittens have been distributed to loving families, as asked and I also stopped a woman from running over a family of frogs. You should be warned, your past life is searching for you. They have noticed the strange goings on in this world and are concerned that it may soon affect them." Death told Harry, who wrinkled his nose and squinted one eye before shrugging.

"Had better make sure that they don't find me then, hadn't we. Why do they not believe I am dead?" Harry asked, looking confused, and glancing over his shoulder when Lucifer moved to walk up to them.

"I am not sure. Perhaps you can point Lucifer towards his first victims," Death suggested and Harry wrinkled his nose in distaste.

"That wouldn't be very nice, would it? They haven't done anything to me. It's not like they actively searched me out in the time I've been gone. No, we should leave them alone. Soon they will have enough problems of their own, to realistically be able to search for a dead man." Harry told Death, whilst Lucifer just watched the two in silence.

"As you wish, Master. If you have summoned my Master, and by association, myself. Does that mean my brothers are now out as well?" Death asked, looking at Lucifer, whilst Harry kept silent, watching the two.

"It does. I regret to inform you that War has lost his ring and powers, however he did begin the apocalypse, the path has been set." Lucifer told him and Death sighed and looked at Harry, who glanced back at him and nodded.

"I shall take you to where you wish to go and then I will leave and search out my brothers. War will not have long left and only my Master or myself can take care of his soul," Death told them and Harry sighed and looked up at the sky, wondering why they had agreed to this.


Crowley hadn't expected Derek to visit him so soon into the game, especially as, by his reckoning, Harry had only been summoned a few hours ago, at the most.

"Derek?"

"It is done," Derek told him, moving to wit down heavily at the desk Crowley was sitting at. Crowley looked at the man in concern, grabbing a bottle of whisky from the drawer in his desk and pouring a dram for Derek, nudging it over to him.

"That bad?"

"Lucifer is going to kill my master if he does not learn how to keep his smart aleck quips to himself," Derek admittedly with a derisive snort and a shake of his head. Crowley found himself knowing exactly what Derek was talking about.

"Being a gobby little shit, then? Good to know Lucifer will be kept on his toes. Has Luci learnt not to fuck with Harry yet? Or has Harry not shown his somewhat dangerous side yet?"

"I believe he's shown a little bit of that side of him. But not the full extent," Derek told him, downing the whiskey in front of him and then sighing, leaning back in his chair.

"So? There a reason you're here or did you just need to get away from all the insanity? Is Harry actually alright? I can't help but think that this is a monumentally moronic idea. Not to mention that I had to deal with the Winchester's," Crowley said with a shudder, he knew just how badly their idea with the gun had gone, but there wasn't much he could do about it now.

"There was a reason for my being here, actually. I have something for you. There is a new plan."

"Harry is still going to sleep with him?" Crowley asked, not bothering to ask what it was Derek had to give him. He had an idea and he wasn't too keen on holding on to the item.

"He must do what he has to in order to find out what is going on."

"So he truly doesn't know if he's going to be choosing Lucifer's side? What, what about us? Me? Loki? You?" Crowley exclaimed, and Derek shot him a narrow-eyed glance.

"You should know that he will not do anything that might put any of us in danger. You should have a little more faith in your lovers," Derek told him, and for the first time since before he had died, he was made to feel like a child.

"Or course. I shouldn't have thought that of Harry. So, what is it you have to give me?" Crowley asked with a sigh, truly hoping that what was in Derek's hand wasn't a ring.


March

Crowley look up when he felt Harry step out of the shadows just in front of Derek, and glanced around the opulent room he had stepped out in. He felt a little smug and very proud of his current manor (though he refused to admit that Loki helped him in anyway) when Harry whistled lowly. Harry then chuckled when Crowley jerked a little as he realised what this visit meant.

"Well, well, I had wondered if I'd be seeing you two again. A master and his bitch. Come to finally smack my hand?" Crowley asked, standing up from his desk and walking over to them, acting like it had been longer than three months since he'd seen Harry. Though, admittedly, both he and Loki had felt a small bit of concern over their little reaper at their bi-monthly get-togethers. Harry just smirked at him, however, and raised an eyebrow as though he knew exactly what Crowley was thinking.

"Now, now, Crowley. That's no way to treat one of the few people who can end your existence, is it?" Harry asked, and Crowley bristled slightly at the amused look that Harry shot him. Really, he thought Harry had gotten over holding that little factor over his head. Clearly he had been right in his unease over this plan. Lucifer was bad for Harry.

"Sorry. I've been a little… jumpy, since this whole Apocalypse thing started. You know how it is," Crowley stated, turning swiftly on his heel and motioning for Harry to follow behind him. "Notice you're still wearin' that cloak. Still don't want the number to my tailor?"

"And end up looking like you? We'd be giving people the wrong impression about the British if I did that," Harry told him, following Crowley through the halls of his large house and into the main sitting room. Harry then took a seat in the chair Crowley motioned for him to take, noticing that Derek moved to stand behind Harry's seat, dipping his head in a silent greeting to Crowley, before making a strange motion. Crowley frowned a little but turned back to Harry, ignoring Derek for the moment.

"You don't want people thinking the British are style savvy and well-dressed?" Crowley asked, pouring them both a brandy and handing one glass over to Harry, before he moved to sit in the seat opposite the one that he'd pointed for Harry to sit in.

"You mean stuffy and uptight? No."

"So you would rather them think we are scruffy and short, with no idea what shoes are?" Crowley asked sending a pointed glance at Harry's bare feet.

"No, I prefer unique. And shoes are restricting. I can't feel the souls of the earth when I'm wearing them. You know that, Crowley. By the way, should I be calling you King, since Lilith has kicked the bucket now and all?"

"Did you ever call her 'Queen'?"

"Never met her."

"Ah. In which case, yes, yes you should refer to me as either King Crowley or Your Majesty, whichever you feel more comfortable with. You should bow to me as well. And shower me with – actually, I've seen your idea of gifts, just bowing is fine," Crowley told him, with an air of distaste, making Harry smirk at him.

"I'm Death, we don't do bowing," Harry informed him and then his eyes lit up in mischief, which caused Crowley to eye him warily. "What does –"

"If you value your manly parts, I wouldn't finish that sentence. So what are you really here for? We both know that Brits don't actually partake in tea and crumpets, and I don't know about you, but I've never had a cucumber sandwich in my life." Crowley told him, sipping his brandy but never taking his eyes off of Harry, he hated to admit it, but Harry was truly making his wary at the moment. He needed to talk to Loki about all of this. Catching Derek's eye, he noticed that Death was watching him closely.

"Business call. You knew we would be coming. We need to know what you know about this whole Apocalypse thing. How do you think it is going to end? And more importantly, in whose favour? Who do you think we should be backing?" Harry asked and Crowley exhaled heavily, before he locked eyes with Harry. Really, he didn't want to admit what his current thoughts about the Apocalypse were.

"Your pet, there, is a Horseman, Harry. For this whole thing to really get started, he's got to join in the welcome parade. You still not read the Bible? I told you it was a good read. Full of angst, death, twists and turns. It'll make you laugh, it'll make you cry. More to the point though, it'll give a clue as to what Old Nick is planning," Crowley told him. He decided that sticking to being vague was a better idea, and given that Harry just accepted that with a small nod, he went with Crowley's suggestion. Hearing Harry's opinions on the Bible were going to be amusing.

"Okay. I'll give it a read. Before you tell us everything, and I do mean everything, you well dressed Del Boy of Hell, I have something I need to inform you," Harry told him, clearly ignoring insulted look Crowley sent him at his nickname.

"Go on. And does that make you Rodney?"

"Call me Rodney and I'll castrate your favourite Hellhound. Here's the deal, Crowley, I know how much you like them," Harry said, standing up from his seat and walking to stand in front of Crowley, who just watched him with amusement in his eyes. He knew for a damned fact that Harry wouldn't harm his Hellhound. He liked the strange mutt far too much. Probably because said mutt tried to pass itself off as a cat whenever Harry was around.

"Well, I am a Crossroads Demon, Love."

"Indeed, and here's the deal. You stay out of this war. Don't help either side. Stop contact with the Winchester's and yes, I do know about that, you're not the only one with ears everywhere."

"And if I do that? What's in it for me? If old Luci wins, you know I'll be the first to be gone," Crowley pointed out, for the first time that evening actually showing his discomfort that that was actually going to be his outcome in all of this. Harry sent him a soothing look before he blanked his expression once more.

"What I've given you already, isn't enough? Fine, I'll ensure, that no matter who wins this war, you will survive it. And I control Death, no one dies if I don't want them to," Harry told him and Crowley narrowed his eyes before he nodded, taking the hint – or at least hoping – that Loki was included in that deal. The god grew on you after a while. Even if he was, technically speaking, still a card carrying member of the God Squad.

"Alright, I'll take a strategic retreat then. I won't help either side and you will ensure that I survive this," Crowley told him, and Harry smirked at him then leant down press a kiss to Crowley's mouth, tongue flicking out to brush over Crowley's lips and making Crowley hold back a groan. Really, the damn tease.

"You have a deal," Harry told him once he pulled back, licking his lips with a smirk, whilst Crowley just looked back at him in slightly aroused amusement. He watched Harry then walk back to his seat and sit down, looking at Crowley closely. "Now, tell us everything you have learnt of this war. Don't leave anything out, Crowley, I'll know if you do."


Crowley knew his plan was to stay away from the Winchester's however, he also knew that the Winchester's would not stay away from him, and would, in fact, actively start to look for him. So he needed another plan. One that would keep the Winchester's out of the way and allow the plans to go ahead with barely any trouble. Not that he was at all stupid enough to think that they wouldn't come across some troubles. However keeping the Winchester's out of it would at least get rid of those problems…


April

Harry nibbled on his bottom lip as he read through the note Death had given to him two weeks before, and then frowned before he lit the note in his palm on fire and dropped the ashes to the floor.

"Well fuck." Harry muttered, scowling at the remains of the note. He jerked his head up and glanced over at the door when Lucifer slammed it open and stormed into the room, chuntering under his breath.

"Why are my own creations so completely useless? I can't trust them to do anything without screwing it up!" Lucifer growled, and Harry snorted and shook his head.

"All evil overlords have shit taste in minions. The fact that you made yours just makes it seem more pitiful. Think of your own creator. Shit, His creations make yours look completely competent. And He's supposed to be all knowing and crap." Harry told him, snickering when Lucifer looked at him with a raised eyebrow.

"God is not an evil overlord."


May

Harry walked into the room that Loki was setting a new prank up in, making the god/archangel look up at him and smile widely.

"Harry! What can I do for you?" Loki asked him, finishing whatever it was that he needed to set to severely maim his victim du jour. He turned to Harry and clicked his fingers, taking them to the apartment he was currently squatting in. "So?"

"There has been a minor change to the plan. You're to no longer follow me around. In fact, you're going to start helping Crowley with keeping the Winchesters out of everything. Things are starting to move up and Luci-Lou is starting to get impatient for his inevitable fight with Mickey Mouse," Harry informed him. Loki nodded his head slowly and then looked at him in question.

"So what am I to do then? Go to Crowley?"

"Not exactly. You'll meet up with him."

"Oh? So? Going to share some more information with me, Harry?" Loki asked him with a smirk on his face.

"Right. So Death of Cats is going to hitch a ride with the Winchesters. There's going to be a meeting in that hotel. All pagan gods and what-not."

"Yeah, I know, we decided that me going to that wouldn't be wise. Have we changed that part of the plan now?" Loki asked him, frowning in confusion. Clearly he wasn't too sure why he had to go there.

"Well, now you're going to crash the party, piss of a couple of pagans and then let me come in, dave the day and then slaughter a couple of pagans. All whilst you quietly sneak away into the Impala without the Winchesters finding out. When you sense Crowley setting up another distraction, go find him and tell him the new plan for you to also help him out."

"Okay, got ya! Aye, Capitan!" Loki said, saluting Harry and making him grin at him.

"Good kitty."


"Yeah… come on." Sam muttered, and they both quickly made their way out of the hotel, and to where the Impala had been parked. They both noticed that the doors were already open, giving an indication that Harry hadn't been lying about the others humans in the hotel.

As they drove off, neither one noticed a small white kitten fast asleep behind the passenger seat of their car, waiting for it's master to call it back to him.


Harry stepped out of the shadow of the hotel, watching the fading taillights of the Impala and then turning his head to the side to look at the approaching figure.

"It is done then?" Death asked, stepping up to stand next to Harry, also looking out to where the Impala had left.

"It is. You can now go out and inform everyone of where our allegiances lie. Tell them that there isn't long now. Things will come to a head soon enough." Harry told him and he felt Death nod beside him.

"Are you sure we have made the right decision?"

"We've made the only decision. We both need to leave before we are missed. Come to me when you have all their answers." Harry told him, tilting his head to the side to look at his servant.

"As you wish, Master." Death dipped his head in acquiescence and then left his side, leaving Harry alone to contemplate the decisions he had made that night. He sighed deeply and then disappeared from the hotel to go back to Kansas.


Crowley appeared outside of the motel the Winchesters were currently holed up in and tried to decide what trap to set this time to lead them a little further away from Harry, Derek and Lucifer. He was, understandably, quite surprised when a family bone white kitten came running towards him.

"Loki? What are you doing here? You're supposed to be with Harry," Crowley hissed, stepping back when Loki changed back to his human form.

"Harry sent me to help you. He said that things are starting to progress a little quicker now and that Luci is starting to get impatient for his fight with Michael so everything can be finished.'

"Does he still believe Harry is completely on his side, do you know?"

"I'm going to assume so. Still, neither Winchester has noticed I'm here yet, but Derek came to me just as we got here. I'm to show myself to them at the last minute and take them to the place where it's going to all end. He'll come get us, so you're to come to, but not show yourself to anyone."

"Any idea why?"

"I'd imagine so that Harry has enough back up should things go completely tits up. Derek isn't entirely happy about everything that's going on. I think he's beginning to get a little anxious with how Luci is treating his master."

"What, like his bitch?" Crowley sneered, and Loki's expression showed that he felt exactly the same as Crowley did on the whole subject of Lucifer and Harry.

"Hopefully he won't have to do it for much longer." Loki muttered, and Crowley could only hope he was right.


June

"Intense," Harry muttered, glancing around for his cloak and then snatching it when Lucifer handed it to him. Harry narrowed his eyes at the man suspiciously, then shrugged the cloak on, ignoring the returning constant dull throb now coming from his hand.

"We should make a start on plans, now that I know I have you on my side." Lucifer said, ignoring the glare Harry was sending his way and walking over to the door to open it. He paused before opening it and looked Harry up and down with a distasteful sneer. "At least you are now looking cleaned up and semi-presentable."

"Fucker, no thanks to you. You do know I'll get that ring back, right?" Harry said, then snapped his mouth shut when three demons walked into the room, glancing between the two snippy men warily.

"You can certainly try. But you will definitely fail." Lucifer informed him, ignoring the insulting gesture Harry sent at him and, instead, turning to the three that entered the room.

Harry watched with narrowed eyes as Lucifer laid out the plans, and then sighed and let his eyes drift shut. Things were going almost to plan. Though he could have done without losing his finger.

He stayed silent, trying to will his finger to start healing itself, until Lucifer finally left the room with the three demons, clearly going to make sure everything was sorted for his plans. Harry waited for another ten minutes, before he let himself fade into the shadows and left the room.


When Harry breezed into his room, Crowley felt a shiver run down his spine. He knew that Harry coming to him was the sign that things had finally come to an end. Of course his anxiety for what was to come was soon replaced by concern and anger when he saw that Harry was bleeding quite profusely.

"Harry? What's happened?" Crowley asked, moving forward to place a hand on Harry's shoulder. Harry just shrugged him off, practically visibly vibrating with fury.

"Nothing much, just Lucifer taking something he thought will help him in this. Do you still have what Derek gave you?"

"Of course I do. Even if it generally make me uncomfortable and feel like I'm a walking, talking target, doesn't mean I'm gonna get rid of it in anyway. So what's gonna happen? Besides you bleeding out."

"I'm not going to bleed out. It's already starting to grow back. As for why I'm here, I need to go to Loki and tell him it's time. Then head back to me, you know how to find me," Harry told him, sounding rushed. Crowley just nodded and reached over to grab his jacket from the back of his seat.

"Tell Loki, then find you. Got it. Want me to make myself known?" Crowley asked, feeling a spark of shock when Harry shook his head.

"No, just stay out of sight, hidden. I need you to just stay behind after it's all gone on. Make sure we did the job right. Derek and Loki seem to think it will work, but I need to be sure. You have the fastest ways of telling us it hasn't worked should they somehow get out."

"Fair enough. Stay behind and ensure that Lucifer stays locked up. I can do that too. What about afterwards?"

"I'll find you? Not too sure. I'll have some things to deal with. Plus those pesky wizards are going through their denial stage about my state of living once again, so me and Derek will have to deal with that as well. Just know I'll come to you for it once I've dealt with everything and I know it's safe for me to have them all together again."

"Okay then. I guess we'd better get started then. Stay safe, Harry and I'll see you at the other side."

"Fun times, Crowley, fun times! Think I have time for a cheeky nap?"


Harry followed Lucifer onto the field where he claimed he would meet with Michael, and finish the war once and for all, in contemplative silence. His glanced down at his hand and frowned at the slow rate his finger was growing back, he could've sworn that his arm grew back a lot quicker when he got it ripped off by a passing train. And wasn't that an embarrassing memory he'd rather forget? He sighed once more and turned his attention back to Lucifer, scrunching up his nose and watching with disinterest as Lucifer paced in the grass.

"And you're certain that Michael will know when to show up? You sent him an email, or something, about it? Huh, angel emailing. That would be strange. 'Don't forget to smite the heathens in Croydon. Raphael. Xx' Yeah, that'd be weird," Harry muttered kicking at the only stone in the entire field. Lucifer briefly wondered where the hell, and how, Harry found the damned thing. Though he had quickly come to learn that the laws of logic didn't apply to Harry (or small children) when they got it into their head to irritate the ever loving hell out of whoever they were with.

"We do not use… emails. I do not even know what they are," Lucifer muttered, standing completely still and just staring out into the distance.

"Huh. That shouldn't surprise me… but it does. I'm also sort of concerned for the angel stuck with smiting the heathens in Croydon. They're gonna be there for a while…" Harry muttered, digging up the dirt with his toe and ignoring the somewhat perplexed look Lucifer was sending him.

"You made that hypothetical situation up. There is no angel in Croydon." Lucifer hissed at him and Harry glanced up at him through his lashes and smirked.

"You sound tense. Why? And you still haven't answered my question in the first place… How do you know Michael will be here?" Harry asked him, completely ignoring the glare Lucifer was sending his way.

"I just know. This is where it is supposed to happen," Lucifer informed him and Harry looked at him, nibbled on his bottom lip and tilted his head.

"A random field in the middle of Kansas? Right," Harry muttered slowly, rolling his eyes and then rolling his shoulders to try and work a kink out of them.

"This is where it will happen. Stop asking pointless questions," Lucifer growled and Harry smirked before he frowned once more and looked around them before turning back to Lucifer.

"Whose meat suit will he be using? Can't be Dean's, he hasn't said yes," Harry pointed out, making Lucifer look at him suspiciously.

"How would you know if Dean Winchester has said yes or not?"

"Simple, you don't look scarily like Sam Winchester, too short, not enough... hair going on. So, on that theory, why else would Dean say yes? So, how is Michael gonna show up with no meat suit? I don't fancy having my eyeballs burnt out of my skull," Harry added, wrinkling his nose in distaste. "It'd take fucking ages for them to grow back if the length of time my finger is taking is any indication."

"Your eyes would not be burnt out of your skull. You should be able to see an angels true form with no repercussions," Lucifer informed him and Harry made a noise of interest.

"Huh. Good to know. I had wondered if that would be a perk of the job. So, Mikey-boy's gonna show up in the angelic buff? All bright lights, glitter and other camp stuff that makes me question the validity of some of the things mentioned in the Bible. Because, let's face it, angels? Kinda gay. Like... fairies. And for a brief period in history, sailors. I blame the Village People for that last one," Harry added in a mutter, and Lucifer sighed and dragged a hand through his hair in frustration.

"Angelic buff? ... I don't think I want to know," Lucifer muttered and then frowned. "In answer to your other question, I believe he has a meat suit now. The youngest Winchester."

"Adam? He's dead. I should know; I took his soul myself," Harry said with a frown of confusion.

"They brought him back to life for the sole purpose of giving Michael a vessel," Lucifer told him and Harry huffed and crossed his arms over his chest.

"Oh, that's fair. I hate you higher, celestial beings. You think you're above Death and the natural order of things. Well, hate to break it to you, but you're not. Wankers," Harry muttered, ignoring the growl from Lucifer.

"I am above you! I own you now," Lucifer hissed at him, patting his pocket in reminder and getting a sneer from Harry.

"So you like to believe. Shall we get this show on the road? DEREK!" Harry bellowed, smirking when he saw Lucifer cringe at the volume, then breaking out into a grin when Death appeared to the side of him.

"Master," Death said with a nod, and Harry smiled at him, ignoring the sharp look death sent to his injured hand. "What-?"

"Is everything sorted out?" Harry asked before Death could finish his question, and Death narrowed his eyes at Harry before he sighed and nodded his head.

"The final part of the plan was a success, everything is complete and ready. Now we just have to let everything take its course," Death informed Harry, and Harry smirked. Both anthropomorphic personifications ignored Lucifer's stare burning into their sides, neither one giving the man any opportunity to question them.

"Brilliant! Then I supposed our work here is done? There is nothing more that we can actually do to aide this?" Harry asked, he glanced at Lucifer out the corner of his eye and noticed the angel was grinding his teeth.

"You are right. We are no longer needed in this," Death agreed and clearly that was Lucifer's breaking point, as he quickly strode over to them and grabbed Harry by the collar of his cloak, completely ignoring the narrow eyed, angry look Death sent him.

"What do you mean? You promised me that you were on my side in this! You stated that you were backing me! You are not allowed to back out of this until I say so!" Lucifer hissed, shaking Harry slightly in his anger. Harry just gazed at him impassively and then let his head drop to the side to glance at Death.

"He thinks he has the ring," Harry then had the peculiar feeling of gravity abandoning him for a second, when Lucifer let go of him in shock at that statement. Gravity then grabbed him and yanked him harshly to the floor, making him exhale in shock.

"I do have the ring! I cut it off your finger myself!" Lucifer hissed at him, and Harry smirked then glanced over at Death.

"No. That ring is somewhere safe. Somewhere you would never even think of looking. The ring that you currently hold in your position is the Black Heir's ring. Not even the Lord's ring. That will get you access to one vault belonging to the Black's in Gringotts bank. And it's empty. Apparently when you don't actually have a job and some sort of steady income, money doesn't last forever, no matter how much you have," Harry commented breezily, absently waving his hand in a dismissive manner.

"No! I own you!" Lucifer hissed, reaching out to grab Harry once more, but missing when Death pulled Harry against his chest protectively, sneering at Lucifer in thinly controlled anger.

"Look, I've said it before and I'm certain I'll have to say it again after today. Death has no allegiances. We can't pick a side to back. Both sides will suffer losses, and we have to be impartial and reap the souls that fall. We don't give a shit if they are good, bad, neutral, whatever. We just send them on their merry way to wherever the fuck they are destined to go," Harry explained with a shrug, smirking at Lucifer's furious expression.

"You betrayed me!" Lucifer screamed, and Harry sighed and glanced up at Death, raising an eyebrow and shrugging.

"We didn't betray you. If anything, you betrayed us by trying to force our hand. You tried to trick my master into doing your bidding by trying to steal something from him that can and will never be yours. All three Hallows accepted Harry as their master and owner. Never has that happened before and never will it happen again. They can't ever be separated by different masters ever again. And no one gets the right to control Death anymore," Death informed Lucifer, before Harry chuckled and stepped out of Death's hold, walking over to stand in front of Lucifer.

"Let's be honest, Lucifer. You never truly thought I would back you. That was why you felt you had to trick me. Why you planned to separate me from the Hallows and kill me. You knew I wouldn't truly allow you to win this," Harry told him in a soft voice, gently resting his injured hand on Lucifer's cheek. "No one succeeds when they plan to rule the world. Not even Satan."

"You tricked me," Lucifer said, some of the fight leaving his voice, and Harry smiled at him and shrugged unapologetically.

"I had help," Harry said, and snapped his fingers, before taking a step away from Lucifer. He pulled his uninjured hand out of his cloak pocket, and opened it to show him the four Horsemen's rings in the palm of his hand. He then shrugged, letting a small smile cross his lips. "You did say that you never truly felt you had gotten out of Hell. Maybe you were right."

Harry then smirked and glanced just past Lucifer's shoulder, making Lucifer stiffen and look behind him. He took a step back when he saw Castiel and Gabriel standing behind him, each with a hand on the shoulder of either Sam or Dean.

Gabriel then smirked at him and waved his fingers, before glancing past Lucifer to Harry. Harry smiled and tilted his head in acquiescence. Gabriel then gave a small laugh, dragging Lucifer's attention back to him, and meowed.

"You!" Lucifer spat, finally putting the clues together and realising he had probably been played from the very beginning.

"My very own Cordelia. I'm insane, but I'm not actually insane enough to believe I need a Death of Cats," Harry bluntly informed him with a mock sad shake of his head.

"You never had any intention of backing me! You tricked me from the start! How dare you?" Lucifer spat, spinning on his heel to stride over to Harry, wrapping his hands around his neck before anyone could move to stop him. Castiel tightened his grip on Dean's shoulder when the hunter made a move to help Harry, whilst Gabriel snickered and shook his head at Sam. They all then looked to Death to see what his reaction was, and both hunters frowned to see him ignoring Harry and Lucifer completely, choosing to look to the side instead.

"I didn't," Harry choked out, scrabbling and scratching at Lucifer's hands and arms, "I gave you a chance. You can't hide from me! Can't hide your intentions! I knew everything! You hated me from the get go!"

Lucifer gave a growl of rage and tightened his grip on Harry's neck even more, making Harry gasp and choke. His struggling started to get weaker as his sight started to fade and he felt his body slowly begin to give up and shut down due to the lack of oxygen. He was only immortal in the sense that he couldn't stay dead after all.

"Luc—Be-behind you," Harry gasped out, and took in heaving, wheezing gasps of breath when he was unceremoniously dropped to the floor.

Harry glanced up through his limp, greasy hair and smirked when he saw Lucifer looking at the sword in his chest in shock, before he then looked up at Michael holding on the hilt of the sword, a look of betrayal and pain on his face. Michael grimaced at the look being sent his way, but pushed the sword in even deeper, brushing the fingers of his free hand over Lucifer's cheek in a weak gesture of apology.

"Derek…" Harry gasped out, throwing the rings to the floor and watching as the gate was opened. He then glanced back and saw that Death had appeared behind Michael and Lucifer. "Now."

Death smirked and tilted his head in a small bow to Harry, before he pushed both Archangel's into the hole. Harry stretched out his hand and let it brush against Michael's ankle, just as the shocked angels fell past him.

Death then moved quickly and grabbed hold of Harry to prevent him being sucked into Hell with the two angels, and they both watched as Gabriel shoved a shocked and frozen Sam into Castiel and Dean. The only Archangel that ever actually registered on Harry's radar then grabbed the rings and shut the gate, glancing down at the rings in his hand.

"It's over," Harry, Death and Gabriel all snapped their heads to the side to look at Sam when he spoke, a little breathlessly, the awe and relief clearly evident in his voice. "It's… they're…" Sam seemed unable to voice his feelings; just weakly waving in the direction that Lucifer and Michael had last been seen.

"What—what about Adam?" Dean finally asked, breaking the silence that had descended over them after Sam's stammered exclamation, all six of them just staring at where it had finally ended.

"He's moved on. Gone back to where he rightfully should be. Don't worry, he's not in the box," Harry told him, weakly letting Death and Gabriel pull him up from the floor and then straightening up. He refused to look weak and… mortal in front of the two hunters and their angel.

"Is it really over? How was it that easy?" Castiel finally asked, looking both disturbed at the recent happenings and a little relieved.

"You think that was easy, little bro?" Gabriel asked incredulously, staring at Castiel in stunned disbelief.

"He's kinda right. We didn't do jack." Dean pointed out, whilst Sam sheepishly shrugged and nodded his agreement.

"You're right, you, Team Free Will, did nothing in this. Well, besides fuck up quite a few of our plans. Why did you ignore our message from Mrs Singer? Why the fuck did you go to Elysian Fields?" Harry asked them, feeling a flash of anger and allowing it to show in his tone, before it quickly diminished to nothing. Both the Winchesters' had to grace to look at the floor in shame, whilst Castiel just look confused.

"What message?" Castiel asked, looking from the two humans to the three beings that had just ended the Apocalypse in a seemingly easy manner. One of which being his estranged and uncaring brother. Clearly not as uncaring as he had led them to believe.

"I gave Bobby Singer's wife a message to pass on to Bobby and the Winchesters' when we raised the dead. We told her to tell them not to say yes, no matter what, and to not stray far from South Dakota. Clearly they decided to ignore the second half. Actually, you probably would have ignored the first bloody part too if I hadn't shown up when I did. I should have let you get eaten," Harry muttered, crossing his arms over his chest and pouting slightly, "you nearly fucked up the plan."

"Sorry," Sam muttered, whilst Dean just shrugged and Castiel continued to look a little lost. "Still, you succeeded. You managed to do what we clearly couldn't."

"Yeah, but it could have been over so much sooner. In fact, this never would have bloody happened in the first place if Dean hadn't been a selfish twat and dragged Sam out of Heaven just so he wouldn't be left behind. Wanker," Harry muttered, and then winced when he felt the first flash of guilt and regret he had ever felt since getting all three Hallows, at the look of absolute devastation on Dean's face. "Sorry."

"I…" Dean trailed off and clenched his jaw, looking to the side and refusing to meet anyone's gaze.

"Yeah, I know. Fuck, we all make mistakes; I know I did when I was human. I still do. No one's infallible. It was hypocritical of me to point out your own faults, Dean Winchester. I apologise for that," Harry admitted with a pained shrug, then he glanced down at his hand and scowled.

"It's really over? He can't get back out?" Sam finally asked, and Dean glanced at them anxiously. Harry sighed and nodded his head. "But… how was it so... I mean… you made it look so…"

"Easy? Like I said, it really wasn't. I had to lose a fucking finger for this stupid bloody war! And look! It hasn't grown back yet! I'm gimpy! GIMPY!" Harry exclaimed, waving his hand at a shocked and slightly disturbed Sam.

"Er…"

"And I had to hang around with some of the most moronic demons known to existence! I missed out on nabbing an autograph from Kama Chinen because he was scheduled to die on Sam's birthday. Had to keep that window open just because everyone thought the end was gonna happen then. Bad shit happens on your birthday, Sam," Harry informed him, and Sam made a small noise of protest, whilst Dean snorted and nodded.

"He's right you know. Oliver Reed died on your birthday," Gabriel pointed out, and Harry nodded and joined in.

"The Battle of Hogwarts happened on his birthday."

"So, half the wizarding world then. Even Sam died on his birthday, kinda like Shakespeare," Gabriel pointed out, and Sam just gaped at the two.

"No, that was a myth. No one actually knew the exact date that William Shakespeare was born on, they just said it was the same day as his death. I suppose it made it seem a little more poetic," Death pointed out, and Gabriel looked enlightened then glanced over at a still gaping Sam.

"Dean died on May 2nd as well," he said, just to make their point perfectly clear, ignoring the devastated look that crossed Sam's face at the reminder.

"Actually, that was May 3rd," Harry said, scrunching up his nose.

"See! Not my birthda—"

"Dude," Dean muttered, punching Sam's shoulder to shut him up.

"My point is, bad shit happens on your birthday. So I left it open and missed the opportunity to grab the autograph of the oldest recorded human being, ever! Well, muggle human being," Harry added hastily, then glanced over at the Winchesters' and Castiel. "Look, it wasn't easy, okay? You may think it looked easy, but that's because you weren't there for the difficult shit."

"Weren't there? We had a fucking pissed off and insane Crossroads Demon hounding our asses for freaking months! I think I even got fleas from his demon mutt! Demonic fleas!" Dean hissed, waving his arms around to express his anger, whilst Harry, Death and Gabriel just watched him in amusement.

"Crowley did that as a favour to me. Well, not the fleas. But the rest was a favour to me. He kept you suitably distracted and out of the way. Fuck knows how this would have gone if you two had actually had the time to try and help," Harry muttered, and Sam made a small indignant noise, looking insulted, whilst Dean deflated a little.

"Crowley did that for you?" Dean asked in a small voice, and Harry nodded.

"He did a lot for me. I think I owe him for several lifetimes. But I know how to pay him back," Harry added with a smirk, before nodding his head at Gabriel, "He helped me too."

"I don't…" Dean trailed off and looked at Castiel helplessly.

"What I think Dean wishes to ask is, why didn't you tell us from the beginning that you were helping us?" Castiel asked, looking just as confused as Sam and Dean.

"I didn't know from the start which side I was on. Not really. I honestly did want to see what Lucifer would be doing for the world if he was allowed to win. The only side I didn't consider helping out, was the angels. And that was just because Zachariah was a twat and I'd rather he just curl up and die. His vessel is a wanker too. Hates cats! How can you hate cats?"

"Er…" Sam opened and shut his mouth a couple of times before he finally settled on shaking his head and shrugging. There really wasn't anything he could say to that question. Not safely anyway.

"Look, never mind. It's over now. Done. Finite. We all have jobs that we need to get back to. Derek, you need to return these to their rightful owners. I don't think we can keep a hold on to their souls for much longer without them," Harry said, taking the rings from Gabriel and passing them over to Death. Death nodded his head and the disappeared from the field, leaving Harry to turn and face Dean, Sam and Castiel once more. Gabriel standing next to him and placing a hand on his shoulder.

"I—We—Thank you," Sam finally said, and Harry just shrugged and glanced at Gabriel.

"No need for thanks. I didn't do it for you. It was purely selfish reasons. We need to be going, but Sam, I'll see you when it's time to collect your soul. You too Dean, gotta get your autographs after all," Harry added, then nodded to Gabriel, who smirked at him, waved his fingers at the gaping hunters and the two of them disappeared.

Crowley stood at the edge of the field watching the two Winchester's and their angel just flounder for a few minutes after Gabriel and Harry had left them. Something was then said to the angel, and they soon left to probably another anonymous motel on the side of a road. Crowley shuddered at the thought.

He stayed still for a good ten minutes after the other had left, and then finally stepped out over to the spot where Lucifer and Michael had fallen. He stared at it for a few seconds and then shook his head, a small smirk on his face.

"Should never trust a well-spoken Brit, mate. Thought everyone knew that," Crowley muttered, looking at his hand where he was playing with an old ring with a large stone attached to it. "They're always the ones to stab you in the back. Especially if they've got a Cockney as an acquaintance."


December

Crowley waited for Harry to pass the doorway he had been waiting in before he stepped out and smoothly moved in to step next to Harry, drinking in the sight of the man he hadn't seen for over six months. Really, he had no idea why Harry had been avoiding him and Loki. It was bloody annoying though.

"Crowley. I never said thank you," Harry murmured, glancing at the demon beside him as Crowley relaxed and just walked to wherever it was that Harry was heading. And ignoring the insane, Christmas shoppers of Oxford Street.

"Me being alive is all the thanks I need," Crowley told him with a smirk, and Harry glanced at him out the corner of his eye and then shrugged.

"Perhaps, but I only made you promise to not side with the Winchesters'. You didn't have to do anything else once you promised that. You could have just stayed in your impressively furnished house," Harry pointed out, apparently deciding to ignore the glare that Crowley shot him for that comment. Really, house?

"I prefer manor. Still, I might not have had to do it, but I wanted to help you," Crowley admitted quietly, wondering why he had turned so bloody soft when it came to Harry.

"Ah, Crowley. You warm me cockles and me 'eart when you say things like that!" Harry said, in a – Crowley thought - fairly passable impression of someone that has never heard a true Cockney speak in their life. Which just made Crowley shudder, before he snorted and glanced over at Derek then looking back at Harry.

"You'd never believe you were brought up in Surrey. Common little shit that you are," Crowley told him with a smirk, getting a mirroring smirk from Harry.

"I was hardly brought up. More like dragged up," Harry pointed out and Crowley snickered and having to agree to that comment. He'd learnt about Harry's human life years before when they were comparing crappy life choices. Admittedly, Gabriel, the archangel that ran away from Heaven to become Loki, the most hated of the Norse gods, won that competition hands down.

"An' it shows. So, what have you been up to now? Now that you don't have to pretend to be Lucifer's bitch?" Crowley asked, smirking at Harry's indignant little noise of protest at being called anyone's bitch. Though Crowley was secretly just thankful that that whole episode was done and dusted. Harry, when being buggered by Lucifer, was not a pleasant person to be around.

"I never had to pretend anything. I honestly was considering taking his side in this. But... It's very hard to hide your soul and your intentions from Death. Especially if you fuck him. He didn't want any of us to survive," Harry muttered, scowling at the ground in front of him as they walked slowly down the street, last minute shoppers ignoring the trio that they passed in their rush.

"Huh. Wanker," Crowley muttered, looking at Harry and smirking when he saw amusement flit across Harry's face.

"Exactly. Anywho, now? I guess I shall continue doing what I always have," Harry said in his usual, disturbingly chipper tone of voice once more and making both Crowley and Death glance at him warily.

"Save the kittens and frogs of the world, and pester myself and Derek?" Crowley asked drying, scowling when Harry sniggered and nodded his head.

"He does not pester me as much as he does yourself, Master Crowley." Derek told him with a smirk, getting a scowl from Crowley for his efforts.

"Huh. Well, look, I don't mind you randomly popping up on me. You make my existence more interesting at least and you give me tips on where to find the next soul," Crowley finally said after they had walked in silence for a few minutes, and Harry turned to look at Crowley.

"Aw, Crowley! You like me!" Harry said, a wide grin on his face. And really, Crowley thought, like screwing the man wasn't a sign enough that he liked him. Though, he supposed, given the views Harry had on sex, it wasn't really.

"If you wish. Why frogs, by the way? Kittens I get, they're cute. And sort of demonic. But frogs? You lost me with that one." Crowley admitted, and Harry glanced at him before he shrugged.

"I heard a story when I was little. Sort of a variation on Pandora's Box. Only, it was a frog that let out Death. I felt I should thank them in some way. Else I would have never become... me," Harry admitted with a shrug and Crowley raised an eyebrow at him, then frowned when Harry smirked and tugged a sack seemingly out of thin air, making the demon almost entirely forget the previous conversation.

"What's in the bag?" Crowley asked him, eying the bag warily, and actually taking a step back when Harry cackled.

"Should have put it in a box, would have made that question so much more amusing. Besides, I believe you might thank me one day for what I've done. I'll hold on to these for you, Crowley. Uphold my end of the deal." Harry informed him, smirking at the stunned expression on the demon's face when he tugged out a human skull from the bag.

"Is that... me? Why would you-?" Crowley broke off his question, looking at the bag that held his human remains, and the only real way to kill him without shooting him with a certain gun.

"It might come as a surprise, Crowley, but... I like you. You, Derek and Loki are the only ones who have ever been able to make me feel anything for any reasonable amount of time. I don't see me dying for a very long time, so... You and Loki had better get used to the idea of living forever. I don't give up those I see as my friends very easily. And let's be honest now, if I don't want you to die, then you won't," Harry admitted with a shrug, placing the skull back in the sack and making it vanish to wherever it had been before, and leaving Crowley feeling a little breathless at that announcement. Really, Harry was making him turn into a fecking girl.

"You're very strange, you do know that, right? Who the Hell admits to likin' Loki! He's a damn angel!" Crowley added when it seemed he had lost Harry in his reasoning. He regretted it almost instantly when Harry got a glint in his eyes.

"What? You like Aziraphale, even if you won't introduce us. That's very mean by the way," Harry added, ignoring the exasperated sighs coming from both men on either side of him.

"Good Omens was a work of fiction. Aziraphale doesn't exist. I've told you that," Crowley muttered exaggeratedly, and Derek chuckled on the other side of Harry, knowing just how many times Crowley had tried to convince Harry of the truth. His master was very stubborn in not believing the poor demon though. Which Derek found highly amusing. At least until his master tried to make him wear a black cloak and talk in constant capitals… which Derek wasn't entirely sure on how that was done.

"Fine! But... You've got to admit that you did fuck with the schematics of the M25."

"Oh yes! I did that! And I did have a Bentley too, before that bastard Loki won it from me in poker," Crowley admitted with a scowl, and Harry clapped his hands and chuckled like an excited child.

"I wondered why he had a Bentley."

"Where is everyone's favourite anti-Archangel?" Crowley asked, eying Harry's robes suspiciously, and wondering if he was still hanging around inside Harry's many pockets in kitten form. He wouldn't have put it past him.

"He's... Actually, I have no idea. Derek?" Harry asked, looking over at Derek, who sighed and closed his eyes for a few seconds before answering.

"Master Gabriel is currently enjoying posing as a sub part of ourselves, Master. He is reaping the soul of an elderly cat. He will probably be with us once he has finished."

"Always knew angels were freaks," Crowley muttered under his breath, before he smirked and patted his jacket before reaching inside. "I say we go to that pub and wait for him. In the mean time, I believe I should return this to its rightful owner, now that the risk of Luci getting his hands on it is over."

Crowley reached out and placed a ring in Harry's expectant hand. The Master of Death had all the Hallows on his person once more. Harry's lips curled into a lazy smirk and wrapped his fingers around the ring. Crowley was just thankful that he no longer had to keep a hold on the thing.