Hey guys. Sorry this chapter's so short, but I'm really tired, plus, there was actually a whole bunch of research I had to do simply for the accuracy of one stupid paragraph. Ugh, ah well. Don't want to be inaccurate. But seriously, anyone who has knowledge about the heart and the respiratory system, please let me know if I've made a mistake somewhere or if it's all just completely wrong. I really don't remember much from Science class and I was really tired when I did the research.
Also, it has been pointed out to me that I have made a very grave error. When Edward fought with Isaac McDougal and stayed with the Hughes family for the first time, he was fifteen. In this story, I had said he was twelve. Whoops. This mistake happened because Kala was watching the 2003 series when she started writing this, and because she needed to use the Brotherhood universe, she got confused (and here she goes talking about herself in third person again -_-). To fix this little problem, I will do this:
"This story is an AU, where at the beginning of Brotherhood, Edward was still twelve."
Yup. And that's how I am gonna fix things. Pathetic, I know, but I really cannot be bothered changing several chapters because of this huge boo-boo.
Yup. Enjoy, and I promise there will be actual action next chapter.
Yes, I'll take it
Wait now
By the sidewalk
Hold on
Yes, I'll be right back.
I can't win.
~I Can't Win (The Strokes)
Edward was travelling through a white void. Thousands of tiny little black hands with arms as long as infinity were pulling him back through the Gate. He watched as he was pulled backwards into it, and he watched as the Truth smiled at him, with that terrible grin that chilled him to the bone. Alphonse had already left this place, but he had remained. When he and his little brother had come here, in immeasurable amount of time ago, and Edward had offered up a Philosopher's Stone to the Truth in exchange for his brother's body, it had laughed and granted him his wish, taking the Stone from him. Alphonse's armour had begun to disintegrate, and when there was none of it left, a second Gate, on the other side of the void, something he had not noticed before, had opened up, and Edward watched as Al's malnourished body was pulled through it. He had waited for himself to be pulled back through as well, but it had not happened.
When Alphonse was finally gone, the Truth, who had been watching him, turned back to Ed. "You are aware that that price alone is not enough, aren't you?" It had asked. Edward exhaled slowly; he had known, somewhere deep down, that his blood and sweat and pain and the Stone would never be enough for this cruel being in front of him. He had been hoping, praying, the by returning the trapped souls within the Stone to where the belonged after death would be enough, would be a fair price in exchange for his brother's flesh and blood, but of course he was wrong. He always seemed to be these past few months.
"I figured it wouldn't be." He said.
"And yet you came anyway. You're devotion to your brother truly is admirable, Edward Elric. You have a very strong heart."
"Well thank you." He said, waiting.
"Are you ready to hear what the rest of the price is?" Truth asked him. "If it's too much, I can easily bring your brother back and return his armour to him."
"Nothing is too much for my brother." Edward said defiantly. "Nothing."
"That's what I thought." Truth said. "Your price is..."
"Edward!"
Ed leapt forward, his claws ready to slice and dice. Fear surged through him at the dream, or was it a memory? Please don't let it all be a dream, please don't let it all be a dream! he begged the universe. Breathing heavily, he realized that he was sitting on cold hard dirt, and he was surrounded by white lines and circles and symbols made of chalk. Barely a meter away, Alphonse lay beside him, no longer a suit of armour, but a little eleven year old boy, with golden hair below his shoulders and skin that was pale, and malnourished, but it was his flesh and blood body! And he was breathing! It had been years since he had seen it, but his brother had breath again, and all of Edward's worries slipped away as he barged past whoever was calling out his name to hold his brother in his arms. His claws slid back into his fingers, and he could feel his baby brother's skin on his own fingers.
"Alphonse! Al, can you hear me? Al?" Gently, he shook his little brother awake, and when those eyelids opened to reveal golden orbs a fraction darker than his own, he could have screamed with joy. Thank God it wasn't all just a dream!
"Br-brother?" Alphonse asked weakly, his voice throaty.
"I'm here, Al." Edward promised. "I'm not going anywhere."
"I can...I can feel again, brother." Alphonse said, and a great big smile lit up his face. "I can smile! And...and your skin feels so warm...I'm hungry...I want food...I can eat food again!"
"Yeah, you can, Al." He said, and he felt tears slide down his face as he pulled his brother into a tight embrace. A hand touched his shoulder, and he flinched.
"It's only me, Ed." Hawkeye said.
"Lieutenant, when did you get here?" He asked.
"I followed you boys here because I thought it was suspicious that you'd been coming here for the last few days without explanation." Her voice was stern at first, but it softened as she said, "I'm glad I did. Now I'm the first one other than you who gets to know what Alphonse looks like."
"Hi...Lieutenant..." Alphonse said, smiling at her. Edward watched as her eyes glowed, and then became shiny with tears that threatened to leak out. Quickly, she wiped them away, and then she picked up Alphonse out of Edward's arms.
"Edward, we should get Al to a hospital." She said. He wanted to snatch his little brother back from her, and carry him there himself, but already he could feel his chest burning as he stood up, and he new that the Truth's price had been steep. He didn't have the strength to carry Al right now without falling down himself, so he would just have to trust Hawkeye.
"Yeah." He said, nodding. They began to run, Ed struggling to keep up with her brisk pace. He noted with some jealousy that Al had already fallen asleep in her arms. Not that that mattered, but still, Edward couldn't help but feel betrayed somehow. As they ran, the joy of having Al back in his real body started to somehow wear off, as though it wasn't a big deal. He fought to keep it there, but it seemed determined to slip away. The grin that had been plastered to his face faltered slightly, but he forced it to stay where it was. Of all possible times, why did his depression have to choose now to show itself? Cursing himself, he pushed his trembling legs forward, trying to keep up with the older woman. His chest kept burning, and the itching feeling a person gets right before they cough was starting to rise in his throat. Forgetting for a moment the price he'd payed in the tiring task of running through the streets of Central City, Edward indulged in the urge. At first it was a mild cough, but then it started to get worse, and soon he was kneeling on the ground, his chest racking.
"Edward!" Hawkeye said, alarmed. She stopped to ask him if he was okay but he flicked his hand at her, urging her to keep going.
"I'm fine!" He chocked briefly on the burning in his throat. "Keep moving, I'll catch up! I'm just really unfit right now!" He told her.
"Well, okay, but I'll come back for you." She said.
"Just get going!" He fought to keep the desperation out of his voice as he saw little flecks of red fly onto his palm. Please don't notice! Please don't notice! Please don't notice! He repeated in his head until she went away. Good. His body allowed him a few quick breaths before he started coughing again. His throat burned hot, and so did the blood that splashed onto his hand as he tried to cover it up. Now he knew how Teacher felt every time she coughed like this. It occurred to him that he hadn't even seen his teacher since he and Al had finished their training, and, as scary as the thought was, he thought he really ought to pay her a visit.
Slowly, the coughing fit subsided, but the damage had been done. His left glove was covered in blood. It would have to go. Taking off both of his gloves, he dropped them onto the ground. Quickly, he clapped his hands and visualized the array in his head. Pressing them to the bloodstained gloves, they turned to dust that blew away on the winds.
Hurriedly, he got to his feet and jogged slowly the rest of the way to the hospital. He had finally given his brother his body back. His ultimate goal was finally accomplished. A great surge of pride swelled in him. Now all that was left to do was go home.
But the thing was, he wasn't even sure where home was anymore. Was it at his old house, which was nothing but ashes? Was it the Rockbell house? Or was it in the apartment with Hughes?
Maybe it was none, maybe it was all. But he would figure that out later.
Without registering much of the things around him, he made his way to the hospital. The day was cold today, but he ignored it. He could hear people talking, and he presumed they were all talking about him. Short. Child. Dog. Whore. He was used to the words by now, constantly circulating around him wherever he went, but that didn't make them any less painful to hear. After all, he wasn't really all that short. In the past few months, since he'd lost his auto-mail, he'd actually grown an inch or two. He was incredibly pleased with himself. Maybe as far as age went, he was a child, but as far as his mental maturity went, he was more or less an adult. He was a dog of the military, but he was also part actual dog...wolf...whatever. But the name that hurt the most was 'whore'. He hadn't forgotten the night when Maes had told him what exactly a whore was, and it had been months, but he still could not for the life of him figure out why they called him that.
It dawned on him that he was now actually in the hospital, and he kindly asked the lady at the desk what room Alphonse Elric was in. After a few moments of checking, she gave him the room number, and he stumbled on. The itch in his throat was back already, but it wasn't nearly as annoying. When he found the room after a little bit of aimless wandering, he walked in to find Alphonse sitting up comfortably in a hospital bed, propped up by a few pillows. Two nurses were wandering about, checking things on clipboards and adjusting the I.V unit that was attached to Al's arm. There was a doctor who was asking Alphonse a few simple questions, and Al seemed to be answering them happily. Hawkeye was sitting on one of the little chairs, and she jumped up when Edward walked in.
"Ed!" She said. "Where have you been?"
"Sorry I took so long, Al." He said, brushing past her. "I ran out of breath. It's been a while since I've had to run like that."
"It's okay, brother." Alphonse said. Edward smiled at him. It had been so long since he'd seen his little brother's face, and now here it was, smiling up at him, after not even a year on their journey. Edward had expected it to be shorter, but he would not change it. Now that he had his brother back, he was content. He could live in peace now. He could quit the military now, just be a semi-normal kid, perhaps. Now that Alphonse was in his rightful body, he could do those things.
"So how do you feel, Al?" He asked gently.
"It's so...overwhelming." Alphonse said at last. "It's been so long since I've been able to feel things. I can't say the IV was fun." He laughed, glancing at it.
"I'll make sure that thing's out as soon as possible, Al." Edward promised. "Then we'll go home."
"But Edward..." Alphonse asked nervously.
"Yeah?"
"We burned our home."
"You know Winry and Granny would take us in, and if worst comes to worst we could always...go see...Teacher..." He said slowly, fear at seeing his teacher creeping up on him.
"She's gonna kill us when she finds out what happens..." Alphonse groaned.
"Hopefully she won't ever have to." He said.
"Excuse me?" Edward looked over to the doctor who had been asking Alphonse questions, and asked what was wrong. "Well, we still have a few tests to run, and we'd very much appreciate it if you could leave the room." He said. Edward looked back over to Al, not needing to voice his question.
"It's okay." Alphonse said. "Go back home, and I'll get someone to call you if I want you to come back, okay, Brother?"
"Sure...if you want." Edward said hesitantly. Giving his brother a gently tap on the arm, he smiled and turned around, leaving the room. There was nothing he could do right now except wait, anyway, so what did it matter whether it was here or at the Hughes' place? Sighing, he didn't notice the worried look that Hawkeye gave him as he left.
Walking through the streets again was tedious. He wished he was old enough to just drive a car. Then he wouldn't have to walk. Raising his eyes to the sky, he could see that a storm was coming soon. Ed picked up his pace and only just walked into the apartment building when the rain began. Whew, close call. He thought to himself numbly. Not bothering with the elevator, he went up the steps to the apartment, trying to get his face just right. He could imagine the look on Maes' face when he told him that he'd finally done it, he'd finally gotten Alphonse's body back. His face would light up, he would smile, his eyes would twinkle behind his glasses. At least, that was how Edward pictured it in his head. He needed to be happy like that, so why wasn't he? Why was it that the strongest thing he was feeling right now was exhaustion? No, that was unacceptable. He needed to be happy, like Al was. Why couldn't he be happy? He'd finally accomplished his goal, Goddammit, so why was he so numb?
Stretching his lips into the most realistic smile he could manage, he decided it would have to do. He couldn't stand outside this door forever, after all. Pulling out his key, he unlocked the door and went inside. Everything was dark, and quiet. There appeared to be no one home, but the Hughes' car was outside. He knew they were home. As quietly as he could, he tiptoed down the hall, his eyes raking the scene. But there was nothing to be found.
A scuffling to his left caught his attention, and Edward was about to make a blade from his auto-mail when he remembered he didn't have auto-mail anymore. He let the alchemic energy fall away into nothing, and instead raised his hands in a defensive position, the way Al used to when he was in his armour. It felt kind of nice, thinking that. He used to be in his armour. But he wasn't anymore. That was good. Nice. More movement brought his attention back to reality, and this time it was from his right. Damn, he was surrounded. This wasn't good. He could either make his move first, or wait for whoever was hiding to jump out at him. Dammit, where was Hughes? He wasn't supposed to be working today.
Suddenly all the lights came on at once, and his eyes didn't have the time to adjust. Blindly, he swung in a circle, one arm stretched out to hit anything that came close. When he struck nothing he pulled it back and blinked away the blindness. He could hear laughter, and suddenly people were popping out from random places. Heart pounding furiously in his chest, he saw the all the people were dressed in blue uniform.
"Surprise!" They all shouted.
"Dammit Hughes!" Edward gasped. "Don't scare me like that!"
"Sorry Ed." Maes laughed, walking around the couch and slapping him on the back. But this was the best we could come up with when Hawkeye called and said you got Al back." His grin was manic, and Edward found himself laughing too.
"Sh-she t-told you?" He managed through laughs, as people surrounded him, patting him on the back and congratulating him. There was Gracia, and Elicia obviously, and Havoc, and Breda and Falman and Fuery, and even Mustang was there! He kept his distance from him, but that was just an old fear. Mustang hadn't been even remotely nasty to him since the day Edward had almost lost control and sliced a guy's face off. He had felt slightly more comfortable around the man since then, but he was still nervous. It was hard to break old habits.
"Good job, Fullmetal." Mustang said to him, once everyone had given him some space to breathe.
"Thanks, bastard." Edward said genuinely.
"Still at it with the nicknames?" Mustang asked, with fake sadness. "You wound me."
"I do my best." He joked.
He didn't hear what Mustang responded after that, because suddenly Hawkeye had walked in, with Alphonse leaning on her. The crowd cheered again, louder than ever, and Al winced slightly at the noise. Immediately everyone quieted down, and then people started, one at a time, to ask Alphonse questions, or to comment on how much of a cute kid he was. Alphonse blushed through the whole thing. "Come on, Al." Edwards said when he found the chance to speak. Let's sit you down here." He put his arm around his brother's waist and helped Hawkeye carry him to the couch. "Hey, I thought you said you were going to call." He said.
"Yeah, I lied." Alphonse laughed.
"Gee, thanks Al." Edward said sarcastically.
"Sorry, Ed," Hawkeye said, "But we all agreed that after everything you've been through it might be nice to be able to relax a bit. And before you start worrying, the doctors have said that Alphonse is completely fine. A bit malnourished, but that's easily fixed. You're little brother just needs to eat.
"Thanks, Hawkeye." Edward said quietly.
"Huh?"
"Thanks for following us this morning."
"No problem." She replied with a smile.
Later, after everyone had left, and Alphonse had fallen asleep on the couch, Edward was even more exhausted than before. Night was falling, and what he wanted was to crawl into bed and hope that the nightmares would leave him alone tonight. As he went through his nightly routines, he noticed that Maes was looking a little bit disturbed by something. "Maes, you okay?" He asked. Maes jumped a little when Edward addressed him, but re-composed himself quickly.
"Yeah, I'm fine, just thinking." He said.
"About what?"
"Tonight you've been coughing a lot, are you okay?" He said. Edward was tempted to lie to him, to say that he just had a cold. Had he been talking to anyone else, he would have done so, but Maes would see right through it. Besides, he trusted Maes. Maes would never tell anyone if Edward didn't want him to.
"Not really." He said at last.
"What's wrong?"
"When the Truth finally gave Alphonse his body back this morning, the Philosopher's Stone I gave as payment wasn't enough." He said slowly.
"But I thought that was the whole point of finding the Stone, because it was supposed to be."
"I know. It was enough to pull Alphonse's body out of there, but the Truth wanted more payment for actually putting Al's soul back in the body.
"What did it want?" He asked.
"It's...difficult to explain. When a person tries Human Transmutation, the Truth takes away something ironic. For me, it was the leg I needed to stand on to support my brother. Al just wanted to feel mum's warmth again, so the Truth took away his body. When I tied Al's soul to the armour, I lost the limb I needed to fight for him."
"Okay, I think I get that, but you didn't answer my question Ed." Hughes said.
"I'm getting to it." He told him. "When we were at the Gate today, and Al was sent back home, the Truth told me it needed more payment. It knew that I loved Alphonse more than anyone else in the world. It said that I have a very strong heart."
"You do." Maes said.
"Yeah, well, not anymore."
"Why not anymore?"
"As payment for putting my brother's soul back in his body, the Truth seriously weakened my heart. As any doctor would know, severe heart failure can cause a build up of fluid in the lungs. It'll make me breathless for no active reason, which means that it's going to be so much harder to fight. The blood I'm coughing up can be explained by even a slight bleeding from anywhere in the respiratory system. When I cough it comes up and out with the mucus.
"Wait, blood?"
"Yeah, I've coughed some of that up a few times today."
"Should we take you to the doctor?"
"No, it's not something they can fix." He said, shaking his head.
"Will it kill you?" He asked, his voice filled with worry.
"I have absolutely no idea. Maybe, maybe not. I don't think so though. How am I supposed to learn my lesson if I'm dead?"
"I suppose not..." Maes sighed, pulling his glasses off of his face and cleaning them absently with a cloth. They were both silent as he did, and when he was done, he put them back on his head and pulled Edward into one of his hugs. "You poor kid." He said. "You just can't seem to win."
