A/N: Hey guys, thank you for your reviews! I want to mention one more time that an imprinted relationship is not a normal relationship, nor am I trying to make it seem like one. It's intense and fast and a lot of other things. So if you're good with that (and M-rated scenes), I think you'll enjoy this chapter! (If you're not or are going to be mad that they move too fast, then maybe don't read this fic.) :)
CHAPTER NINE
Bella couldn't seem to bring herself to let go of Jared, and he seemed to be having similar difficulty, as if the other would disappear the second they let go.
But they were ten miles from La Push, so she reluctantly let Jared step backward enough to phase. She grabbed his shorts and was on his back as quickly as she could move, letting out a long sigh of relief as she sank her fingers into his silky fur.
Finally, and probably for the first time in her life, everything felt right.
Jared was careful to move slowly through the woods, and she let herself relax and enjoy the journey this time. There was no rush now. The peace she felt was beginning to settle in her bones, and she lifted her head just enough to watch the forest roll past them, the misty rain she'd long ago stopped noticing coating the leaves and the tree trunks with a soft glimmer under the faint sunlight.
She'd never meant for Washington to become home, but somehow along the way it had.
No, she thought, smiling down at Jared's wolf underneath her, though he wouldn't be able to see it. She'd grown to love the thick forests, but Jared was home.
When Jared finally stopped at the edge of the woods, she saw he'd taken them back to Sam and Emily's house. She wasn't surprised. They probably had a lot to talk about, with the Cullens gone.
Jared crouched so she could slide off him, and she handed him his shorts for him to take in his mouth. She turned her back on him immediately, knowing that he was perfectly capable of phasing back naked in front of her. She heard a wolf-like sound of amusement behind her, but it sounded like he was at least taking a few steps back into the woods.
Jake came bounding out through the open front door, a wide smile on his face. She hadn't seen him smile like that in so long. He wrapped her in a hug before she had a chance to breathe, swinging her around wildly.
"You really did it," he said. "You really chose us."
"She chose Jared, dumbass," Paul said, stepping out the door behind him.
"Same diff," Jake said easily.
If Bella had been surprised by Jake's uninhibited smile, she was startled into complete disbelief as Paul pulled her into his own hug. She stiffened in surprise, but her arms wrapped automatically around his waist.
"I think you just scared her more than you ever have, dude," Jake said, laughing as he tugged Paul backward.
Bella felt Jared moving up behind her without having to turn around, and he pressed himself against her back and wrapped an arm across her collarbone. "Get the hell off my girl, dude," he said, and it sounded like he was only partly joking.
Paul held his hands up in a gesture of peace, but he was smiling broadly. Bella would have to figure out what she'd done that had actually made Paul happy for once. Later, she decided, twisting a little in Jared's arms to look up at him. She didn't like not being able to see his face, his eyes that were at once loving and right now somehow possessive.
He smiled at her and leaned over enough to nuzzle her neck, making her giggle. A flush of warmth spread across her skin from where his lips and nose were touching her, and she squirmed but wasn't really trying to get away.
From the doorway she could see Sam's broad form, clearing his throat pointedly. "Can we hold off on the PDA long enough for a meeting?" he asked, but he didn't sound very upset.
Jared didn't pull away immediately. "I can multitask," he said, his lips still pressed to her skin.
Bella gasped as he hit a spot on her neck that made her knees almost give out, and Jared had to slide an arm across her hip to hold her up. She could feel his rich chuckle against her skin as he bit down gently. This time the flush rushed down her body and between her legs, but it felt too good for her to be embarrassed about right now.
"Meeting," Sam repeated with a sigh. "Living room. Now."
Bella looked up at Sam, having momentarily forgotten he was there waiting for them. Jake and Paul had both disappeared, presumably inside.
"Dude, you of all people know how it is," Jared complained, but he finally stepped back from Bella, slinging his arm around her shoulders instead.
Sam sighed. "I do, but you can spare an hour, Jared. Then you two can do all the… celebrating you want."
Jared gave a long-suffering sigh. "Fine," he said, and Bella let him tug her inside.
It was a strange sense of deja vu, remembering just a few days ago, when she'd sat here, Jared just across the room, trying to figure out what had changed and why staying away from the pack had suddenly seemed so wrong.
Jared dragged her to the sofa and into his lap before she had a chance to protest, not that she would have. Embry was the closest to them, and he shot her a wide smile. "I'm glad you stayed, Bells," he said. He reached over like he was going to touch her arm, and Bella abruptly felt a vibration against her back, where she was pressed against Jared's chest, but not like he was going to phase. He was growling.
Embry grinned but pulled his hand back, not seeming bothered, and caught Jared's eye above her head. "So freaking Paul gets to hug her and I can't even touch her?"
"Paul hugged her?" Quil cackled as he plopped down on the opposite sofa.
Said boy, who was now sitting on a barstool shoveling a sandwich into his mouth, narrowed his eyes at them. "Just wanted my fucking best friend back," he muttered.
Bella thought she understood, then. Now that she was Jared's imprint, he had become an actual member of the pack, not just one in name. Bella curled up tighter against Jared and smiled into his neck, shifting to get more comfortable on his muscular thighs. She was happy for the two of them. She would need to make sure they had the bro time they'd been missing out on for the past year.
Jared's hands slid down to her hips and stilled her effortlessly. "Fuck, don't squirm," he said in her ear. A couple of the other wolves chuckled, obviously overhearing, but Bella didn't get it at first.
"Why…"
Then Jared shifted subtly under her, and she could feel hardness sliding between her thighs.
"Oh," Bella said, blushing. "Sorry," she whispered.
He brought one large hand down to squeeze her upper thigh in reassurance, but that had a different impact on her body, and it was very hard to resist the urge to shift again, suddenly wanting the friction between her legs.
"Shit, babe," he breathed into her ear. "You've got to stop or Sam's gonna get pissed at me for dragging you out of the meeting."
"He won't get pissed at me," Bella couldn't resist replying with a playful smile. She felt a lightness she hadn't felt in years. "He likes me."
"Just because Emily likes you," Jared said teasingly, pressing a kiss against her temple.
Bella felt the couch shift on her other side, and Emily sat down, her eyes dancing. "I do," she agreed. "But you two are going to make me blush if you keep at it."
Jared finally pulled away from Bella's ear. "Fine," he said with exaggerated reluctance. Or maybe not so exaggerated.
"Thank you, sweetheart," Sam told Emily, leaning against the wall in front of the group. "Come on, guys, let's get started so we can get this over with. Most importantly, the Cullens said that they're leaving. I'm inclined to believe them. What do you think, Bella?"
She looked up, surprised to be addressed. "I think we can trust Carlisle," she said slowly. "I don't think he would lie about this."
Sam nodded. "I'm inclined to agree. We'll keep an eye on the area regardless. The one downside of them leaving is that it leaves the territory unclaimed, and from what I can tell, leeches like this area. We may have continual threats from nomads to face. As long as we can dispatch them quickly, though, we should be able to prevent new wolves from phasing."
The boys all nodded.
Bella took a deep breath and spoke quickly before Sam could move on. "You heard what they said about the house," she said to Sam, and all eyes turned to her. "I'm going to sell it," she said in a rush. "I don't want it. I never want to see it again. But you've all done so much for me, protected me, saved my life. I know I can never repay that. But my life is with Jared, now, with the pack, and I want to be able to help the pack." She took a deep breath. "So I hope you'll let me think of whatever I get from the sale as ours. For whatever anyone in the pack needs."
No one responded for a minute, and Bella blushed and pressed her face against Jared's neck, who had gone just as still as the others. Maybe she'd overstepped herself. Maybe she'd offended them. Maybe…
"Bella," Sam said hoarsely. Her heart sank. "That's… incredibly generous. I'm not sure what to say."
"I just… I want to be a part of this. Part of you."
"You already are," Emily said sweetly, placing her hand over Bella's. "We just don't want you to feel like you need to do that to belong with us."
"I want to," Bella said firmly. "Please," she said to Sam. "Let me. I never wanted to be rich. I just want to be part of a…family. To be loved."
Jared rested his chin on her head and ran his fingers through the end of her hair. "You are, babe. You really, really are."
"If you're sure, Bella," Sam said.
"I am," she said.
Sam nodded. "Then I know some rez guys in real estate in Port Angeles. They should be able to help us get it sold without your dad finding out."
Bella smiled, for once feeling like she was doing something that would help the pack instead of them helping her. "I should go see him," she said. It felt like more than a day since she had talked to him. When he'd seen her yesterday, she'd been engaged (though thankfully Charlie hadn't known it and she hoped he never would). Now she had… she didn't even know what to call Jared. Her wolf? Her boyfriend?
Sam nodded. "Anything else?" he asked, looking around the group.
"Just glad that it's finally over," Jake said, and then turned his brilliant smile on Bella. "And I'm glad you stayed, Bells. You don't know how much."
She shot her best friend a smile of her own. "Me too, Jake. Everything finally feels right." And it did. There were no nagging worries, thoughts, concerns that had plagued her relationship with Edward. No secrets and no fears. Everything was out there, and she loved everything she saw.
She rose reluctantly from Jared's arms and turned to smile up at him. He rose and wrapped his large hands around her hips, grinning down at her. "What next, babe?"
A smile broke across her face. "I need to tell Charlie that I left Edward."
He laughed and wrapped his arm around her shoulders. "Come on, we can wolf it to your house. I bet he'll be almost as happy as me about that fact."
She laughed. "Maybe more."
She'd expected to have to wait around for her dad to come home that evening, but Charlie was sitting at the kitchen table, eating a sandwich when she let herself in. He'd clearly come home over his lunch break.
"Got a real interesting call last night from Jake, Bells." he said blandly as she stepped into the kitchen. "Said you and Edward were fighting and you needed some time away for a while."
Bella nodded. That was one explanation for it. "Dad…" she started. Her eyes pricked with tears. She didn't regret anything, but telling her dad what had happened made it even more real. Made the fact that she'd changed her life entirely within a week undeniable.
Her dad stood up, his expression concerned. "Bells… none of the stuff we talked about yesterday… Edward didn't…"
She shook her head hurriedly. "No, Dad. I promise. It was me. I… left him."
Her dad didn't say anything for a long moment. "'Left him' as in…"
"Broke up with him. He's gone."
She didn't expect her dad's response to be a tight hug. "Oh, Bells," he said, and then grimaced. "Honey, I'm so glad. I know you'll probably hate me for thinking that, but…"
"No, Dad," she said, cutting him off. "I get it. It's fine. We just… I just realized some things. I wanted… other things more. I didn't belong in his world."
Her dad would never knew how true those words really were.
He stepped back, surveying her expression. "Do those 'other things' have something to do with Jake?" he asked her. "You've spent more time at La Push than you have in Forks this past week."
She bit her lip, considering her options. "It's not about Jake, Dad," she said finally. "Jake is important, but he's not the reason. I'll tell you, okay?" she asked. "But I need some time, first. I promise everything's fine now."
Her scrutinized her, but then nodded. He gave her another side hug, to her surprise. "If that's what you need, Bells," he said gruffly. "You know I always thought you were too good for Edward. I'm happy enough knowing you finally realized that. For now."
She nodded, summoning a smile. "Noted. There's a tribal gathering tonight that I'm planning on going to, but I'll be back by eleven."
Her dad gave her a level look. "And this isn't about Jacob."
She turned around to roll her eyes at him, her hand already on the stairs banister. "I wasn't lying, Dad."
He held up his hands. "Fine, fine. This reason better introduce himself to me soon, though."
"I'm not talking about this!" she called in a sing-song voice, and she heard Charlie laugh as he walked back into the kitchen.
Jared was sitting on her bed when she opened the door, and she almost tripped on air. She shut the door quickly. "Jared!" she hissed. "You were supposed to wait! My dad could have—"
He gave her a smile that made her heart skip a beat and held out a hand. Trying to keep a scowl on her face, she let him draw her in and pull her down into his lap.
"Super hearing, remember?" he said softly, moving a strand of hair out of the way to whisper in her ear.
She shivered. "Still. Jared, he's right downstairs."
"Yep, humming to himself and eating a bag of chips."
"What?" She sat up straight, frowning. "He must have snuck those in; he knows better than that."
He laughed against her hair. "Let him celebrate, babe," he said. "I could practically hear the smile in his voice from up here." He pushed her gently off his knee and onto her back on the bed and leaned over her.
She smiled up at him, achingly happy.
"I love your smile," he whispered. "You haven't smiled enough for a long time."
Bella thought about it, about how serious she normally was around Edward and the rest of the Cullens. They were so experienced, so knowledgeable, and knowing they were constantly fighting their own natures when they were around her didn't exactly make for a relaxed atmosphere. That was another item on the endless list of differences between them and the pack. An evening with Edward had been quiet, often solitary or close to it, serious, and always intense.
An evening with the pack was… loud. Effortless. Teasing. Filled with food.
"I think I'll smile more now," she whispered back.
Maybe she should have been expecting it, but she was somehow shocked all the same when Jared dropped his lips to hers. Her eyes fell shut and her hands tangled around his neck without her conscious control as he pressed a little more of his weight down on her. It was their first proper kiss, and she had the fuzzy thought that this was the reason for it all, this was why she had given up her eternity with Edward, this was why so many humans lived happy lives, if they felt a fraction of what she was experiencing.
Then Jared shifted his weight to his elbows so he could cradle her jaw in his large, rough hands, and his tongue twined with hers, and suddenly she felt like her heart was pounding so hard she thought she would die of it, but in a good way, the best way.
She'd never been kissed like this. It had always been brief, closed-mouth kisses with Edward. With Jake it had been a good kiss with the wrong person. With Jared, it was liked everything in her life had finally aligned, and it was perfect.
She was gasping, trying to breathe and keep kissing him at the same time, and at some point her legs had locked around his, trying to pull him tighter against her core, closer, always closer.
He pulled away from her lips when she felt herself getting lightheaded, but she had less than a second to gasp, "Jared," in a breathy voice she'd never used before he was suckling at the juncture of her jaw and neck. She'd never thought that kissing anywhere but her lips could feel this good.
Heat was rushing through her veins, almost making her skin spark with it, and she shifted under Jared, knowing what she was looking for on a purely instinctive level.
To her dismay, he pulled away after he had licked, kissed, and sucked hard enough that she was fairly confident she would be thoroughly bruised. She couldn't stop a smile at the realization. Something about being marked made her blood run even hotter.
"I've got to go, babe," he said apologetically, braced on his elbows again. His thumb traced her lower lip as she glazed up at him blearily. She felt… thoroughly kissed. Ravaged.
"Why?" she whispered, suddenly afraid. Maybe she was awful at kissing. Maybe he was trying to think of a way to tell her that. Maybe…
"Stop panicking," Jared said firmly, touching her cheek until she met his eyes again. "That was amazing. You're amazing."
"You want to leave…" she said, hating the insecurity in her voice.
In answer, Jared lowered himself just enough that their hips were aligned, and she could feel his hardness rub against the parting of her legs. It was the slightest thrust, but it made her shudder in a harsh breath.
"Let's talk about how much I don't want to leave," he said with shaky laugh. "But my parents are coming back today and I need to see them so they don't think I've run away or died in a ditch somewhere. Patrol's kept me kind of… absent."
"And now I'm keeping you away from them, too," Bella realized. "I'm sorry, Jared."
"Never apologize for that," he said, looking at her fiercely. He paused, examining her face again, as he visibly decided what he wanted to say. "I want to tell them about you," he said all in one breath. "But maybe it's too soon?" he said before she could respond. "You didn't tell your dad about me."
She hadn't thought about what Jared conclude from that. "I'm not ashamed of you," she said immediately, and was rewarded with Jared's immediate look of relief. And surprise. She was getting better at reading him, as well. "Just… how would it look to Charlie? He would think it was weird, or that I'd been cheating on Edward with you. I didn't want that to be his first impression of you. He would think it was too fast."
"Is it?" he asked, as if he was dreading the answer. "I know… you know I want to go the pace you're comfortable with."
"No," she said after a minute, surprising herself. "I think maybe one of the lessons that being with Edward taught me is that life is short. We already won't have time to do everything we want to do in life. I want to be with you. I chose you. I don't want to hold off on… on us just because I don't want you to think I'm a —" she blushed "— um, slut, or anything."
He laughed loudly, and at her panicked look added, "Your dad's gone. He left somewhere around the time you moaned my name."
"Oh my god," she said, covering her face with her hands. He lifted himself off her and pulled her upright, chuckling again.
"I could never think anything bad of you," he promised. "We'll go at exactly the pace that you want to go at."
She smiled up at him, at the full foot he held over her. "Yeah?"
He tilted her chin up so that he could kiss her again, and her toes curled in her shoes. "Okay," he said finally, pulling away. "I really have to see them before the bonfire, babe. Do you — " He suddenly looked more nervous than she had ever seen him. "If you wanted, I could introduce you."
They were dating. Bella hadn't thought about it in those terms before. "Like I'm your girlfriend?" she asked, trying not to sound like an idiot.
He tilted his head at her, confused. "Well, yeah. I mean, you're so much more obviously, but I can't exactly call you my imprint in front of them."
"Okay," she said.
"'Okay'?" he repeated. "You'll come with me? Really?"
There was not a drop of hesitation in her mind. "Yes," she said firmly. "I'd love to meet them. Let's go."
Jared's parents turned out to be some of the nicest people Bella had ever met. Bella was sitting on an old sofa in the Camerons' living room, utterly relaxed, with a mug of hot tea as Jared's mother asked her if Jared was treating her right.
"He's sounded so different the past couple of days when he's called to check in, and now I know why," his mom said said, glancing at Jared, who was discussing something with his dad. "He can barely keep his eyes off you."
Bella took a hasty sip of the tea to try to hide her blush. "I have the same problem," she confided, hoping she was speaking softly enough that Jared wouldn't hear. Judging by the flash of smile that crossed Jared's face for a split second before he resumed his conversation with his father, she had failed.
"I'm not trying to rush anything," Mrs. Cameron told Bella. "I just have the oddest feeling about the two of you. Something that reminds me of me and my husband." A fond smile crossed her face. "They told us we were too young, you know. That seventeen was too young to know what we wanted. But some part of me knew from the moment I laid eyes on him that he was my forever."
Jared's dad turned back to Bella and his wife. "Are you being sentimental, darling?"
She rested her head on his shoulder. "Only a little," she said, her eyes a little watery.
He bent down to kiss her forehead, and Bella looked away to meet Jared's eyes. He rolled his eyes but grinned, too. "We're gonna head out, guys," he told them. "You two are going to gross Bella out."
His dad pressed kisses to his wife's cheeks with exaggerated kissing noises. Laughing, Bella rose and set her cup in the kitchen sink. When she got back to the living room, Jared's parents were standing at the door, their arms around each other.
Jared reached out and wrapped his arm around her shoulders with such familiarity that she was almost stunned at the simple gesture that somehow meant the world to her. Jared's mom stepped forward to kiss her cheek, and whispered into her ear, "Welcome to the family, sweetheart."
Bella nudged Jared pointedly when another broad grin crossed his face. He wasn't supposed to be able to hear that, either. He tried to assume a serious expression, but a pleased smirk kept threatening to overtake his lips.
They walked in silence for a couple minutes, and Bella knew they were headed roughly in the direction of the beach.
A bonfire was already blazing by the time Bella and Jared arrived at the beach, and Emily and what looked like the rest of the pack save Leah were sitting in folding chairs or on the sand while Sam stood at a portable grill.
"Bella!" Jake called, jogging toward her with an easy smile. Seeing him smile at her like that was almost as good as being with Jared. Bella turned to Jared helplessly as Jake tugged her away.
Jared frowned a little, but before he could say anything, Bella said, "Just for a few minutes, okay?"
Still frowning, he nodded reluctantly.
"You're stressing Jared out," she told her best friend as they walked along the beach. "I hope we're doing something important."
Jake shrugged. "Just wanted some best friend time, Bells. I'm still letting the fact that you aren't going to become a leech sink in."
Instead of scowling at Jake for using the term, Bella just rolled her eyes. She didn't have to play the mediator role anymore, and she wouldn't miss it. "You're enjoying teasing him, is what you're doing."
Jake laughed. "Maybe a little. I'll need to give him the 'you hurt her, you're dead' talk."
"I don't think he could if he wanted to," Bella said.
Jake's expression turned serious. "He never could, Bella. Not on purpose. You never have to worry about that again."
She remembered a cold September day last year, standing in the forest alone, stunned, after Edward had told her he hadn't wanted her anymore. How it had taken a few long moments for her brain to catch up with what he'd said, to comprehend that he was leaving her. He'd said she was the only one he'd loved in a hundred years, and he'd still left her.
Her eyes flickered in the direction she could feel Jared. He was leaning up against a tree near the bonfire the pack always set up, talking to Paul and Sam. He smiled in response to something Paul said, but his eyes were on her.
"Come on, Bells," Jake said, and she forced herself to turn to her best friend, catching the fond exasperation on his face. "You can survive without him for a few more minutes, I promise."
She wasn't so sure. She could feel her fingertips tingling, her fingers aching to press against hot flesh. To press against… she blushed and forced herself away from those thoughts.
"So what's up, Jake?" she asked her best friend, trying not to sound impatient.
To her surprise, he looked almost nervous. "I feel like a girl for asking this," he muttered. "But… we're still us, right, Bells?"
She furrowed her eyebrows. "I'm not sure what you mean. Best friends?"
Jake nodded, still looking embarrassed. She smiled in relief. She'd been worried it was something serious. "Jake, I've only ever had one real best friend. That's not going to change because of Jared."
He let out a long sigh and nodded, looking like he wasn't trying to show how relieved he was. "Thanks, Bells. Um." He smiled at her sheepishly. "It is me, right?"
She reached out to hit his shoulder and then remembered punching him once upon a time and breaking a finger and almost her hand against his jawbone, and she pulled back at the last second. She also remembered her heart breaking on that mountain, the kiss that had begged Jake to forgive her, to believe that even in the horrible grief she was causing him that life was still fundamentally good and worth living, and how less than an hour later she had been stumbling into Jared's arms — and her destiny — in her frantic rush to reach her best friend.
She whacked Jake's arm lightly instead. "You're my best friend, and that will never change," she promised him, the words binding herself to him in a way he would have once hated.
Instead, a smile lit up his face. She still wasn't sure how she felt about the magic of the wolves and how it impacted the packs' relationships, but it wasn't as if it was something she or any of them could escape, so she supposed it didn't matter in the end. She just chose to be grateful that Jake's love for her at last matched hers for him.
"I just… you're the only person I can talk to without it being broadcast in the pack mind," Jake told her seriously. "I need you, Bells. You keep me from going crazy."
"I'm not going anywhere, Jake," she said, squeezing his arm. Then she grinned. "Your secret love for Taylor Swift will die with me."
"Hey!" Jake said, but he couldn't stop himself from laughing, and just like that things were perfect between them, the way they should have always been.
Bella glanced back over at Jared, and saw that he wasn't even pretending to listen to Paul and Sam anymore, and was instead staring straight at her across the sand, bouncing on his toes as if he couldn't help himself.
Jake followed the line of her gaze and chuckled. "Okay, I'll stop cockblocking you two," he said with a grin.
Bella reached over to smack him again. "Keep your mind out of the gutter," she said, while her mind was already wandering in exactly that direction.
Jake chuckled, and she knew he could see right through her facade just as well as he always could. "Mine is, but yours isn't," he said as they began walking back toward her mate. Bella tried to keep her pace at Jake's. For someone who always seemed to forget she was a foot shorter than him, he was suddenly walking ponderously slowly.
Well, one day he was going to imprint, and she wouldn't forget how he'd treated her.Payback's a bitch, she thought with a grin.
Once Jared saw they were walking back toward him, he pushed off the tree he'd been leaning against and met her and Jake halfway. "Okay?" he asked her, scanning her from head to toe, as if she'd been gone all day instead of fifteen minutes.
"Yeah," she said, staring up at him. She was vaguely aware of Jake snorting from somewhere behind her and then walking away, but it was sort of unreasonable to expect her to focus on him when Jared was staring at her as if she were the only light in the universe.
He reached out a hand almost tentatively, and she took it without hesitation and let him pull her toward him. He interlaced their other hands and bent down so that their foreheads were touching.
"We're still good?" he asked in a low voice, and the intimacy of the moment, standing as they were with most of the pack seeming to move away from them, made a bolt of electricity shoot through her.
"We're more than good," she assured him, and the words were sappy, but they were also true.
He smiled, and she let go of his hands so that she could press herself against his chest. She heard him inhale sharply, and then his broad hands came down to press against her lower back.
"Is this okay?" he spoke into her hair. The warmth of his lips against her scalp made her tingle again.
She tightened her arms around his waist. "Yeah," she said softly.
His hands skated down her arms, covered with just a thin jersey hoodie, and came to rest on her hips. His hands were warm and comfortable against her skin.
She made a contented sound against his shirt, and his fingers around her hips tightened, the tips of his fingers just skirting the rise of her bottom.
She jolted at the feeling of hands touching her where no one ever had before, and he started to draw back. "Shit, sorry," he muttered, sounding mortified. "I wasn't trying to—"
"No," she said, shocking herself as her words seemed to come from somewhere outside herself. "No, don't be." She stepped back into Jared's arms. He held her stiffly for a second, seeming to absorb her words, then finally let his hands slide down her sides and clasp comfortably around the swell of her hips.
They both breathed out at the contact, and then Jared did something she didn't expect. He slid his hands underneath the hem of her hoodie and tank top so that his hands rested on her bare skin. He seemed content to leave them there, seeming utterly relaxed as he pressed his lips against her scalp again.
But Bella felt like the ground had dropped from underneath her feet.
His touch was so simple, smooth, effortless — and something about the careless action made her heart race in a way it never had before, and her skin felt like electricity was rushing through her veins, and she decided that for the first time in a long time, she was going to do exactly what she wanted to do.
Jared seemed to realize that something had changed in her demeanor, because his hands tightened on her hips as he drew back enough to stare down at her, his dark eyes concerned.
"What's wrong?"
Bella's lips were trembling from nerves, and she didn't think she'd be able to get the words out. Instead, she rested her hands on top of his, interlacing them where he was still holding her, and slowly dragged his hands, still under her camisole, toward her stomach and then up even higher.
She could quite bring herself to slide his hands against her bare breasts, but she wanted to. She was certain she'd never wanted anything this badly, or at least in this way, in her whole life.
She slowly pulled her hands away, leaving just his on the smooth rise of her upper abdomen, just below the swell of her breasts. "Jared," she whispered, meeting his eyes. He was staring at her, and she couldn't read his gaze. He kept his hands exactly where she had left them, and his expression was a confusing mix of desire and fear.
"There's no rush," he said, his voice sounding a little rougher than usual. "We have all the time in the world. I mean," he added, sounding embarrassed. "Not to make it sound like you ever have to want — you know, I just mean —"
He cut off with a strangled grunt as Bella gathered her courage and pressed his hands over her bare breasts.
The sensation of Jared's warm, heavy hands suddenly exploring the shape of her breasts, as if he couldn't stop himself, of his rough palms rubbing against her nipples, at first incidentally, and then intentionally, made her feel all at once like time was slow and heavy and languorous and yet like the seconds of her life were passing so quickly, that she needed to move, now, before the moment passed.
"I want this," she said, meeting Jared's eyes where he was staring at her as if she were the only star in the sky. "I want you. That's never going to change. And I want… you know. It all."
She shivered at the meaning behind her own words, but she didn't regret them. Edward had treated her desire for him like it was a slightly embarrassing disability, one he needed to endure and step away from if she got too carried away.
She didn't need to hide anything from Jared. He would just be hurt if she tried, and he knew her desires as if they were his own. There was nothing to be ashamed of. She wanted what she wanted, and for the first time in her life she didn't feel like she needed to apologize for it.
Except there was one thing she hadn't checked, and her mother had instilled in her the awareness of the troublesome double standards that existed in relationships between men and women.
"You…" Her face was on fire, but if she couldn't get the words out, then she shouldn't even be thinking of… Well. "You… want this too, right?"
"Babe." He pressed a strangled groan against her neck. "I've never wanted anything so goddamned much."
That did it. Bella felt like she was going to explode if she couldn't have him, if he stopped exploring her body, if he stopped doing exactly what he was doing — or, even better, if he sped it up — if he didn't take her burning desire and return it tenfold.
"Then come on, come on." Bella barely felt like herself, pushing his hands gently back down from her skin and grasping one of his hands, urging him into the forest, only vaguely registering what she was begging him to do.
Her nipples were still sensitive against the material of her shirt, and she already wanted him to touch her again, but she needed him to move more, needed him to…
She knew, she knew the rest of the pack was somewhere nearby, but the awareness of Jared next to her was a buzzing in her brain that tuned out everything else. She thought she might care what she had done later, but right now she wanted to drown in this moment with her wolf until she could barely breathe.
"Babe, you're not…" Jared said hoarsely, letting her pull him along. "You don't want… in the forest…"
"Doesn't it feel right?" she asked, turning to look at him once they were deep enough among the trees that she couldn't see the beach or the pack anymore. Her cheeks were hot again, but she didn't drop her eyes from his. "Or is it just m—"
She was cut off by his mouth on hers, by him biting down on her lower lip — Edward would never have been able to do that, no, god, don't think about him — until she opened her mouth and his tongue stroked hers as he placed his hands on her hips and gently walked her backward until her back hit the trunk of a tall pine.
"I want to treat you right," he said when he drew back so she could breathe, panting heavily. "So much. But I can feel how much you —"
She shook her head. She'd never needed flowers or chocolates or candlelit dinners.
"Then take me, Jared," she gasped out as he kissed her neck gently, making her feel freezing as goosebumps rose on her skin and like her skin was on fire simultaneously. "I'm right here, it's safe, take me, touch me."
"Fuck," he moaned against her skin. "Fuck, okay. Yeah."
She smiled through her haze as his normal articulateness seemed to be too hard for him to reach right now. Then his hot hands were trailing under her top again, and this time his hands weren't hesitant at all, and he pinched her swollen nipples between two calloused fingers, first one, and then the other.
"Oh my god," she whispered as his hands slid back down her stomach and under the hem of her jeans until he was sliding his fingers along her underwear. She'd never felt so hot and wet and aching in her whole life.
"Jared, come on, come on," she urged him as his fingers continued their gentle strokes on the outside of the fabric.
In response, he slid aside the thin fabric of her panties and then his fingers were there, warm and rough but gentle, and oh god, he was tracing the shape of her and then he was inside her.
"Fuck," he breathed out, and his movements were gentle as he started exploring her from the inside. "Babe, this is… You're…"
The back of her head was scraping against the bark of the tree, and she didn't care at all. "Yeah," she whispered.
His second finger entered her, and she thought she blacked out for a moment. He pushed in a little deeper, but it wasn't enough, it wasn't —
He froze, and Bella tried to concentrate on him and not just urging him to move his fingers again. "Jared," she said breathlessly. "What's wrong?" Had she done something wrong, something to upset him?
"You don't… you're not…" he started.
They were both being ridiculous; if they were going to do this then they needed to be able to communicate. "Tell me," she pleaded.
"You don't…" He slid his finger in even deeper, and the feel of him all the way inside her pulsing heat made her throw her head back in shocked pleasure.
He let out a long, slow breath, and she opened her eyes when he didn't move again, ready to urge him to keep going. "What?" He moved his fingers just a little more, and her toes curled in her shoes.
His eyes were serious, but his expression had relaxed a little. "It won't, um, hurt, when I'm… inside you."
She caught the relieved expression that flashed across his features, and then she understood. She hadn't known that her hymen was broken; it must have happened long enough ago that she didn't remember the pain, except to know that it could have been one of literally hundreds of times she'd fallen as a child, including hard falls she'd taken on her bicycle. For the first time she was glad of her clumsiness.
"It was all I could think about," Jared said. "Well, mostly." He shot her the playful grin that she already loved. "Now—"
She clenched around his fingers at the thought of him inside her, almost unconsciously, and he cut off with a strangled sound. He slid a third finger into her, and this time she really did moan. "Now I'm thinking of other things," he whispered hotly into her ear.
"Jared," she pleaded, her arousal ratcheting up even higher, "I'm ready, please."
A look of hesitation crossed his face again, and she wanted to scream in frustration. "There's no coming back from this, Bella," he said, leaning back enough so that he could stare down at her seriously. "The idea that you might regret this—"
"I'm going to love you, Jared," she said desperately.
He broke off. "What?"
"I'm going to love you. I know you're my future, and I know how I feel. I also know the only thing I'm going to regret is if you don't let us be together they way we both want to be — right. This. Goddamned. Minute."
"Okay, fuck, yes, babe," he said, as that seemed to decide him. Suddenly every inch of him was pressing her against the tree, and then his fingers were hooking around the hem of her jeans, watching her expression carefully as he tugged them slightly down. She nodded — she would have been perfectly happy if he'd ripped them off her — and he took a deep breath and pulled off her jeans and underwear in one smooth motion, and then she was naked from the waist down in the woods and it was perfect.
"Shorts," she breathed, nodding at the basketball shorts he was wearing.
He was staring at her exposed skin, and she should have felt embarrassed, but it was hard to when he looked so awed. "Shorts," he agreed distantly, raising his eyes to hers. Then his lips were shaping against hers again, and she was pressed so tightly against the tree that she couldn't move an inch, and she could feel movement against her thighs as he pulled off his shorts.
"Oh my god," she moaned into his mouth as he pressed against her there and she could feel him, hard and thick, sliding against her heated skin.
"Yeah," he muttered feverishly, his hands sliding up her hips and under the hem of her camisole and hoodie again, and then he was tugging them off her. He pulled away from her lips long enough to tug the clothes over her head, and then his mouth was on hers and he was lifting her by the hips, pulling her tight against him so her breasts were pressed against his bare chest, and she wanted him so badly she would have been happy with any stroke, any touch.
Then he was turning them around, so now his back was against the tree, and she didn't understand why until — oh — he was sliding her down onto him, and then he was inside her, filling what ached, and she had no words for this moment. Her mouth was open in a silent gasp, because no words would ever be good enough.
She opened her eyes to see Jared, who was staring at her rapturously. "It's more than I ever thought — Bella, baby, I can't —"
She was confused for a second until he lifted her by the hips again, just a tiny bit, then guided her back down onto him, and then she understood. This was the rest of it, the take and the give, the rhythm of lovemaking that birthed the world. She wrapped her legs loosely around his waist and braced her hands on his shoulders.
"Don't hold back," she begged him. "Jared, please, I want you, all of you, everything…" Her nonsensical pleading might have gone on longer if he hadn't raised her enough so that she was almost entirely empty of him, and she wanted him back immediately. And then he slid her back down, and then she knew the beautiful ache of it, the desire to be filled that was so much the sweeter when it was taken from her for seconds that lasted a heartbeat but felt like an eternity.
She could feel something building from inside her, and it felt different from the few times she had touched herself, something that felt more like her whole body was participating in this feeling. It spread and spread and she was trembling, and she gave up on trying to help Jared at all with the movement, but he didn't falter.
She was crying out, and maybe she'd be embarrassed about that later, too, but right here was only Jared and the night forest. He tilted her toward him slightly, and it changed how he entered her and also meant she slid against his lower abdomen more firmly during each movement, and that additional sensation was enough.
She was lost to it, to him and the magic and the imprint and the forest, and she thought she would explode and even be glad of it, if this was how it ended. She vaguely heard herself gasping out his name through her bliss, squeezing his upper arms, and she needed to know he was here with her in this moment, needed him to ground her: "Jared, Jared, Jared."
"I'm right here, babe," he groaned, not slowing his movements. She opened her eyes languorously when his movements sped up, and then she was sliding with him so fast that it became a constant buzz of satisfied pleasure inside her, not enough to take her higher again, or at least not immediately, but still a feeling that carried her, that she was so glad she was able to share with Jared in this moment.
Then he was groaning, and he captured her mouth again and held her still for one long, aching moment, pressing up against her, inside her, hard, and she knew that he was sharing the same pleasure she had.
Pulling away from her mouth, he let his head fall back against the tree, panting. "God, Bella, that was —"
She wrapped her arms more tightly around his neck and buried her face in his shoulder. They were both slick, glistening with sweat. "Yeah," she whispered against his skin, and she couldn't see his face, but she knew he was smiling.
She and Jared returned to the clearing, her skin sticky from the saltwater where she'd washed herself off in the ocean before pulling on her clothes. She was grateful that Jared hadn't ripped them off her after all.
She'd been expecting the teasing, but she still pressed her face against Jared's side when the catcalls and wolf whistles started. Jared's arm around her shoulders tightened, but she could feel him chuckling in a way that somehow sounded completely satisfied.
"Doin' okay, Bells?" Quil asked her with a broad smile. He was lying on the beach, and he propped his hands behind his head with exaggerated casualness. "I was a little worried about you, thought you might be hurt."
The rest of the pack chuckled, including Sam. They were all horrible, horrible people.
"No, everything's good," she said, willing her voice to remain calm and collected. Jared made an indignant sound beside her, and she squeezed her arm around his waist. "Everything's great," she corrected, feeling her cheeks flare with heat.
"That's a relief," Embry said solemnly, and something about his tone and the fact that it was serious, soft-hearted Embry who was teasing her had the rest of the pack erupting in laughter.
She searched out Jake's gaze as Jared led her to a clear space on the beach, joining the rough circle that the rest of them made. Her best friend's expression was unreadable, but when he met her eyes, he gave her a small smile and nodded.
She hadn't realized how much she'd needed his approval until she had it. Gratefully, she leaned against Jared's chest when he moved behind her, stretching his long legs out on either side of hers, and sighed in satisfaction as he pressed as much of his body against her as he could.
The others turned their teasing on Jared, who seemed utterly unapologetic and unconcerned about it all. She and Jared were seated next to Paul, who was ragging on him most of all, but Bella saw the light in Paul's eyes. He seemed more alive, freer, than she'd ever seen him as he spoke to his best friend.
Letting their words flow over her, Bella closed her eyes. Her clothes stuck to her in the salty wind, her thighs were going to be sore for days, and she had no idea how she'd explain why the entire Cullen clan had moved away yet again to her dad, but she had a pack and a mate now who had never expected her to change a thing about herself, her best friend still loved her, and she'd never felt happier in her entire life.
She made it back at eleven almost to the minute, startling her dad awake. "Everything okay, Bells?" he asked as he rose from the living room recliner. The baseball game he'd fallen asleep in front off was over, the announcers now discussing the highlights of the game.
Still riding her high from earlier and from the past day, she gave him a quick hug as she walked past him to the stairs. "Yeah, Dad," she said, grinning at his surprised expression. "Everything's great."
She climbed the stairs before he could stop her and stepped into the shower to quickly rinse the salt from her skin and hair, only pausing briefly to examine herself in the mirror. Her cheeks had more color in them than they normally did, and her eyes were bright despite the late hour. She glanced down at her hips and saw light fingerprint-shaped bruises where Jared had held her, and smiled in satisfaction as she pressed on them. She wanted a reminder of his hands on her body.
With a towel wrapped around her body and another in her hair, she hurried out of the bathroom and slipped into her bedroom.
Just as she could feel he would be, Jared was waiting for her, his back against the wall behind her bed, his legs stretched out comfortably along her quilt. He raised his eyebrows at what she was wearing, or rather the lack thereof.
"You don't need the towels, babe," he said with a grin. "I'll keep you warm."
"Yeah, and then my dad checks in on me and scars us both for life," she retorted, though she was tempted. Still, she stepped into her closet and grabbed a long t-shirt that she pulled on quickly, dropping both towels on the floor. She didn't put on underwear, justifying it as taking too much time. She really was exhausted.
She slipped under the covers and curled up beside Jared unthinkingly, the action as completely comfortable as it had been the night before. Jared slid under the covers beside her and spooned against every inch of her body against him. She sighed, her whole frame relaxing against him.
"'M never sleeping without you again," she said fuzzily, already being dragged down into sleep. "Even if it's a pain to deal with sneaking you in around Charlie."
Jared pressed his lips against the nape of her neck, and she felt a bolt of pleasure, even through her tiredness. "Definitely not," he agreed, his lips moving against her skin. "You can move to the rez whenever you're ready, and we'll never have to worry about anyone interrupting us again."
"Deal," she said, interlacing her fingers with his where they rested over her stomach. She rooted in even closer to him, and then she slept, and her dreams were of him.
