Prompt: Oghren
Disclaimer: I do not own Dragon Age.
The Warden was just finishing up her tour of her makeshift camp when she turned to face Zevran who quickly adjusted his gaze. The Warden had already caught him staring at her twice and since only a little over an hour ago he was trying to kill her, he figured that perhaps he should start things off a little slowly. From the way that her ears kept reddening whenever she caught him looking her way, he was fairly certain that it wouldn't be long before she made a move. And she was a pretty one, too. Unfortunate looks were hardly a deterrent in his line of work, of course, but it was always nice when he got a chance to sleep with someone attractive.
"So…any questions?" the Warden asked awkwardly.
"Just one," Zevran replied, indicating the one member of her group she had yet to identify. "Who is that dwarf and what is he doing with your dog?"
The Warden frowned and followed his gaze. "Oghren!" she cried out. "You leave my dog alone!"
"Aw, come on, Warden!" the dwarf – Oghren apparently – protested, losing his hold of the mabari and falling over. "He'll make me famous!"
"No means no, Oghren," the Warden said firmly. "And he said no."
Oghren grumbled unintelligibly and the dog bounded over to the Warden. "Right, I'm going to go and make sure he's not traumatized. Come fine me if you have any more questions," she instructed.
"Oh, I most certainly will," Zevran said silkily, blinking lazily at her. The Warden flushed again and quickly hurried away.
"Hey you…" Oghren said, stumbling over towards Zevran. He was quite clearly drunk. "Elf!"
"Yes?" Zevran asked.
"You've got really small breasts for a girl," Oghren announced. "And a guy, for that matter. Course, it could just be an elf thing. I can't say I've met too many of those."
"You do realize that I am not, in fact, a girl, right?" Zevran asked, a little amused. He had, in fact, been mistaken for a girl in the past with his long hair and occasional need to pass himself off as a member of the opposite sex for a job. Usually hearing him speak in his normal voice – as he was doing now – was enough to correct their misconceptions.
"That's just what the dog thought you said!" Oghren accused.
Zevran blinked. Apparently this Oghren was either drunker than he thought or just plain…he didn't even know what. "You were speaking to the dog about my gender?"
Oghren grunted in the affirmative.
"And did the dog…speak back?" Zevran asked curiously.
Oghren barked out a laugh. "Course not, then he'd know that I was on to him!"
"But you just said-" Zevran started to say before he shook his head. "No, it's not worth it."
"What's not worth it?" Oghren demanded. "Your mom?" With that, he broke out into near hysterical laughter.
Patiently, Zevran waited for him to finish. "No, actually. Now, if there was nothing else, I think I'll be going now."
"Hold it, woman!" Oghren ordered.
Zevran sighed, wondering if it was really worth getting into this with the drunken dwarf and strongly suspecting that it wasn't. "I'm not a woman, Oghren."
"Not yet you're not," Oghren agreed. "But you will by the time old Oghren is done with you."
"That…wasn't quite what I meant," Zevran corrected him. "And believe me, I do not need anyone to make me a man; that ship has long since sailed."
"So you've got some experience, eh? That'll make things easier. Go and make yourself ready, woman! You've just wiped your feet on the Oghren doormat of loooooooove!" Oghren declared, managing to mildly disturb even a hardened assassin such as Zevran.
Zevran wondered briefly how long it had been since he had been propositioned by a drunken male dwarf who was initially under the impression that he was a girl. Oh, it had been a while. Three or four months, easily. Usually they got the picture by now, though. "Oghren, I'm a man."
Oghren stopped, confused. "A man, huh? You sure?"
"Reasonably," Zevran said dryly.
"Well, that's a surprise. Guess you never can tell with elves, huh?" Oghren said slowly. He shrugged. "Well, nobody's perfect. Go on, my tent is that way. I'll be along in a moment."
"If it's all the same to you, I think I'll pass," Zevran told him firmly, turning his gaze back to the Warden who was busy playing with that dog of hers.
"Yeah, you'll pass alright by the time I'm done with you!" Oghren declared. "Especially, you know, since…" He trailed off.
Zevran turned to glance at him after a few moments had passed to see why Oghren had stopped speaking only to discover the dwarf had passed out and was lying in a crumpled heap on the floor. In full body armor. He was most certainly going to be feeling that in the morning. It was really just as well that he hadn't been interested as Oghren was clearly not up to performing if he was even sober enough to have been able to find everything.
One person that he did hope was interested, however, chose that moment to glance his way and Zevran smiled at her. It looked like it was time for him to go get to know his new leader a little better. With any luck, she'd already realized that he was male. And if not…well, he could work with that.
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