{To let everyone know, there will be two endings here. I didn't want to choose and no one should have to, should they? But I am sorry for taking so long; I've been trying to finish a chapter for another fic and didn't want to have my head whirling in another fandom when trying to write it. Thanks for reading! After this I will try and put my other excerpts on here if you guys think you'd like to read them!}
It was cold, the deadened grass crinkling under Indra's hurried steps. Why did she think it was a good idea to leave at night? Because she knew everyone would be in bed, the guards on post slacking as no one was there to be on their tails. It hadn't been an abrupt escape, she had spent the last few weeks working, and using points to gather up supplies. Because if she bought it with points you weren't stealing, right? Indra hoped so. She tried not to take much. Especially things she hadn't bought, stuffing a change of clothes in a knapsack along with food and a little bit of medicine. She had also bought a compass, though not sure how to use it, especially in the dark, a map she had traced from another and a Swiss army knife.
She wished for a gun right now, each sound ticking off the dangers awaiting. But she couldn't, there was no way to have asked for one without suspicions being made, and Indra wasn't going to outright steal it. She wanted this slate clean, a new beginning and being a thief wasn't how to get there. She had stumbled through her hole in the fence, able to get towards the edge of the woods without too much trouble.
"Maybe I should have taken the road."
But if someone caught her gone, then that was the surest route they would start with. It was kind of eerie the moon casting enough light through the clouds over the slopes and curves of the hills, nary a tree in sight. She moved with each expanse taking a break to catch her breath at every tree she come across, from the map, her destination seemed to be straight for the most part then making a sharp right and going uphill the rest of the way. Keeping her fingers crossed she should be able to make it there by morning. Slumping against the umpteenth tree, she panted, watching the white air billow from her mouth. Indra focused on that, she didn't like sitting long, her brain finding other matters to consult. There was a little guilt already, she had left a note, but the lack of guilt was what made her feel so guilty at the moment. She patted her stomach as it started to roll, hushing the baby as it seemed to cry from her womb.
"We're going to make it, honey."
Picking up the bag, she trudged along. She knew already she wouldn't be allowed to stay at the destination, but she wanted to see him. Show him she was spreading her wings and about to fly. Indra knew where she'd go after, the place she had been making plans to go to before being taken, the Kingdom, hearing they had welcomed anyone who showed up at their gates. That they tried not to engage in violence, that they wanted peace in this non-peaceful world. It sounded like a place where she wanted to make a fresh start, a good place to raise her child. But Indra was going to have to make it to Point A first.
Her legs were stiffening, feeling like they were encased in stone with every step up the slanted land. Falling against the tree she decided to sit a little longer this time, letting her lungs have a break for a while. Her feet squished and knew the ground was wet - it had been in a lot of places through here. The frost melting and refreezing each day and night, except some spots must have been too thick or shaded to become frozen yet. Indra opted to move over finding one facing the moon. Though the cold didn't bother her, she wrapped her jacket a little tighter breathing deep as the wind tousled her hair. Sipping some water she ate a few crackers to appease her belly when she heard it. Indra knew those grunts, the heavy shuffling, she couldn't tell how many there were but there was definitely more than one.
You can't panic.
No she couldn't she was too tired to run, and knew she couldn't fight them off if it was a pack. She had to stay calm, keep her heartrate down, looking over to the previous spot, she knew it was a long shot but scooped a handful of icy mud rubbing it on her face, praying to mask her scent. If she lay low, maybe they would go by, they weren't super beings, they had to have the same range of eyesight as a regular person, maybe more advanced but if they thought she was a corpse maybe, maybe…Indra let her body go lax on the ground, taking small, hallowed breaths hearing the footsteps get closer. She couldn't slow her heart though, they were going to smell it, the fear, she tried to breathe in and out but those were getting more rushed as well. Indra was going to get eaten, her child not going to get to even have a chance in this world. Her panic built, and began to feel a recognizable sensation, the same one she had in Alexandria. And before she could decide if it was a blessing or not, her body shut down as she lost consciousness.
She came to, still here amazingly, only to feel something being shoved onto her head. These couldn't be the hands of the undead they were too sure, they weren't trying to tear off skin but taking away her senses. Indra began to kick out, scratching the skin that was exposed.
"Hey, hey I'm trying to help you here. You're half frozen."
It was then she put together that what he placed on her head was a toboggan.
"Please, please I can't. I can't go through it again."
"I'm not going to hurt you. I'm going to take you back to my group, okay? Just trust me."
How was she supposed to trust somebody that she couldn't even see? The moon had left, the world pitch black as she tried to adjust her eyes. Oh, God, she was being carried off by a man she couldn't put a face to, someone who could be worse than those monsters that had passed.
"I'll admit, when I stumbled on you, I thought you were dead. But then you were groaning and I thought you were a walker. So yeah, when you didn't make a lunge with your teeth, I checked for a pulse. Why're you covered in mud by the way? Did you come from the woods?"
Indra shook her head in his arms. "No, I thought, those things, the walkers, I couldn't fight them so I thought the mud would mask me."
"I'm not sure that would work or not, but that's smart. Gotta ask why you're out here at night by yourself though."
"Why?"
The man chuckled, it wasn't a bad sound. "For one, I want to keep you conscious, being out here for too long you may have hypothermia, and it's no good to be asleep with that. Second, I'm trying to be cordial, helping a damsel in distress, taking her back home with me. Can't I at least know a little about you?"
"I was running away."
"What were you running away from?"
"A cage, a war, a lot of things."
"And where are you going?"
She paused, licking her frozen lips. "I wanted, I wanted to see someone. I was trying to get to a town called the Hilltop."
The man's pace slowed before going back to normal. "You're Indra, aren't you?"
She froze. "Yes."
"We've been waiting for you, well, hoping to see you, I guess."
Indra tried to look up at the man's face still overshadowed by the night sky. "And who are you?"
She was able to make out the teeth of his smile. "All of my friends call me Jesus."
Her heart leapt as she looked upwards. Oh, God. Does this mean she's dead? Was she actually eaten when she had passed out? When Jesus finds you that usually means you're not of the world any longer. But she could still feel the cold, the pangs in her stomach; if you were she was dead he was taking her to Hilltop. Maybe it was a last request or something, it was where she wanted to go.
"I am sorry for what I did. Please, can't I…this isn't how I wanted to die."
"Die? I told you I'm trying to keep you alive."
"Oh, right, because Jesus shows up to help people with their travels."
"I believe that's St. Christopher that does that."
She could hear the humor in his voice. "I'm really not in the mood for this, am I dead or not? Am I dying?"
"I don't think you're either."
"Thank, God."
"Or me, right?"
"You're not funny."
"But I think I am, once your warmed and fed your views on my hilarity may change. Paul, my real name's Paul."
"Would you be offended to be called that?"
"Not really, it is my name."
"Good, because if I called someone Jesus my grandmother would come back and kill me."
"Noted."
Indra didn't think he was as funny as he thought he was, but once she had cleaned up and drained a steaming bowl of broth she could see him much more clearly. Her breath catching at the sight of not only the baby blues but the rest of him.
"I see how that nickname came in now. Though I don't think Jesus was an extra in the Matrix."
He adjusted his coat before feigning indignant. "He wore long robes and was a badass, that's all you need to worry about."
Her body felt like liquid on the cot, head floating, it wasn't an unpleasant feeling. "You said you had been waiting for me. Is he here? Can I talk to him?"
Paul smiled. "Daryl will be back in the morning. He's...that's why he's out he makes sure the area's clear of threats but more or less he's looking for you."
Of course he was.
"I know I can't stay here, I just want to see him. To let him know that I see now."
His brow crinkled. "Why can't you stay?"
"I know what's happening, it's not going to end well, when I saw that man…he's lost too much and he's not going to lose more. Negan…"
His name hurt to say, swallowing a lump before continuing. "He's not going to stop, but I can't help you, I can't kill them, any of them. I know what they did was horrible, that their views are distorted and wrong. But they were my people once, they took me in, cared for me when no one did, and though I don't want to live in a tower anymore. I can't fight against them, others, ones that I know will be a threat to you sooner or later, yeah, I'll do whatever it takes to take them out. But I can't do it with the Saviors."
Paul pursed his lips in thought. "Who says we were expecting you to?"
Indra rolled her head on the pillow. "Really? You're just going to let me stay in your community while not contributing to the effort? For only agreeing, and nodding along but taking no real action to stop it? I don't believe that."
He patted her knee. "Maybe you will someday. But, I, myself would like you to stay."
Sitting up, the world going blurry for a second as she did. "How can you even trust me? You don't…you don't know me. And besides that, I know I'm only a cog, but they're going to come looking for me. Don't you think they'll retaliate if I'm sitting on your front steps?"
"Maybe, and maybe we'll have to hide you out for a time. But all this is easily rectifiable. We'll sort it all out. You'll see."
"I'm skeptical, but thank you, Paul."
He smiled, his eyes coming to life. "You're welcome. Get some rest, Indra. You and your baby are fine, and you'll have people to meet tomorrow."
"Oh, boy."
"Exactly."
She snorted as Paul douse out the lamp, lying on her side as she drifted away. When light came through the windows, she tried to pull herself up from bed, but her legs began to protest.
"You shouldn't do that, we can get you a wheelchair."
"Carl?"
The young man gave a timid smile, a girl his age stepping in front of him with a tray. "We brought you breakfast."
"You didn't have to do that."
The girl smiled. "But we wanted to. I'm Enid, by the way, everyone's anxious to meet you."
I'm sure they are.
"I'm pretty anxious about it as well."
"Don't be, not to be funny, but we don't bite."
Indra held onto the bed frame as you stood. "Um, is Daryl here?"
Carl adjusted his hat. "Not yet, but they should be back anytime now."
"Are they both all right? From the last time I saw them, I mean."
"Yeah, Daryl's been doing a lot better, less talkative, but maybe with you here you know he'll come back around. And dad's, he's getting like his old self since coming here."
"And you and your sister?"
He smiled. "We're both fine. She's still in Alexandria, but we'll be going back soon."
She nodded, trying to make her way to the door with them close by. "We can get you a chair."
"No, I need to do this on my own."
"Here, we'll take your tray and we'll all eat outside together."
"Thank you, Enid."
Carl had taken her arm, helping to keep her balanced as she wobbled like a newborn deer out of the infirmary. The first thing she took in was how much fresher the air smelt, the sky blue and open over head with people bustling around trying to get to their tasks for the day. She looked at the wooden posts surrounding the little town, cradling everyone in like a nest.
"It's beautiful."
She almost fell going down the stairs, Carl gripping her tightly to prevent the spill. "I think you have some issues with stairs."
Indra piped out a laugh. "Yeah, I think you're right."
She saw a woman in her age range approaching. Her quick and sure stance, prickling Indra, her hazel eyes were a determined gaze trained on her as she went to straighten yourself.
"Why are you letting her out of bed?"
Indra flushed. Maybe Paul was wrong, by the clipped tone, and demeanor, maybe she was perceived as a threat by some. She couldn't blame them, but the brush off at being outcast and not having the question directed at her stung.
"She didn't want to Maggie, shouldn't she be allowed to see the grounds?"
"Carson was going to do an ultrasound on her this morning. If anything in her is distressed she needs to stay in bed."
Carson?
"Yeah, cause you know how to take that advice."
Her glare was deadly, and Carl backed down. She shook her head at him, exasperated, before her eyes returned to Indra. "I hope you're doing, okay. Jesus said you were in stable condition when he left last night."
"Yes, thank you, just still tired I suppose. My body isn't used to that kind of exertion yet."
"I understand it took me a while to build up the stamina. It may take you a little longer, with health, and our common conditions you may want to take it easy for a while."
"Common conditions?"
Indra was puzzled, but the pensive smile that came across the woman's face told her the answer.
"You're pregnant too?"
She nodded. "Yeah, we might be in the same time frame as well, though it was hard going in the beginning, I'm getting better, but the strain of everything made it take longer. That's why I'm suggesting you take it slow, though you may not have a choice when Daryl comes back."
"Oh?"
"He's rather protective of you, when he explained everything to us, that he was going to wait for you. We were all a bit hesitant, wary at first, but anyone that can capture the heart of Daryl Dixon, hell if that person isn't worthy of a chance then I don't know who is."
Indra became overcome with gratitude, astonishment, and she couldn't think of what to say. Only able to whisper a 'thank you' to the woman.
"It's no problem, Indra, you're one of us now. I'm Maggie by the way, Maggie Rhee. Here, a welcoming present."
Taking Maggie's hand, the young woman placed a small apple in her palm. Indra smiled, taking a bite of it. The sweet, crispness coating her tongue, her stomach grumbled, salt - salt and vinegar would taste so good with this.
"Thank you, Maggie. I don't know how much Paul had said, about everything that would be happening about me…"
"We understand, we'll find you a place."
She nodded, taking another bite of apple though the sweetness was making her nauseous.
"I know that look, maybe we can go sit down so your stomach can settle. Come along, kids."
"Shut up, Maggie."
She smiled, they were a family able to banter and come together. Sitting down under a tree, she sighed as the cool wind came. The tree itself was gargantuan tower over the fence itself. Its branches were bare but Indra could feel it sizzling with life.
"Toast?"
Shesmiled, taking the offered food from Enid. "This is nice."
"It is."
She looked over to Maggie whose mouth was full of apple.
"Maggie!"
Indra hoped she wouldn't have to stand up yet. But Maggie did, standing and going to the other side of the tree. She let yourself lean back, listening to Carl and Enid chatter as they ate their meal.
"Indra?"
At the familiar voice her eyes snapped open. And she went to stand.
"Daryl."
He looked so much better - his skin less pallid, his eyes had a shine to them. He was cleaned up, out of that damn track suit and in jeans and a button-up shirt. He reached for her, helping her up as she was pulled into his arms.
"I knew you'd get here, Finch."
She choked out a strangled laugh, letting herself be burrowed into him. This is safety, this was comfort, this was the man that set her free.
Negan was beside himself, three days; he had searches day and night for three whole fucking days. Nothing. There was no sign of her, nothing to give way of where she was, where she went, if she was safe or hurt, if sick and needed help, if she had been abducted and was at risk - nothing. He wanted to take Lucille and beat every fucking guard who was on duty that night, but he needed them, if there was hope Indra was alive out there he needed every man he had out there looking. He didn't care what it took, he'd find her. Running a hand through his hair he went into the last place he knew she was – her old bedroom. He had visited the area many times since she went missing, each time hoping to find something that would let him know where she was. Each time he had come up empty. The room itself was bare, a few knick-knacks and clothes still waiting to be brought to his room.
What the hell happened?
He had no idea, only knowing he was going to do whatever it took to get her back safe. Unlike before he took the time to lie in the bed, trying to figure out what the fuck was going through her head during that time. As he settled in he felt a dip in the flooring. He jostled the bed feeling the creaking underneath him. He turned over and looked at the space, a loose floorboard. Jumping up he ripped the wood loose, finding an envelope inside. Tearing it open he was welcomed with your familiar handwriting.
Dear Negan,
If you're reading this, then I believe it's obvious you've found my hiding place, and found me gone. I'm so sorry for any hurt you may be going through right now, but I know it will lessen. I had to write this, I had to let you know that I do love you, a part of me always will. You gave me warmth and protection, a feeling of safety I hadn't felt in a long time. But you also blinded me, blinded me from the outside and from you. What I saw that day, it wasn't the you I have gotten to know, maybe on some level I knew, yes, I already knew you halved yourself for me, giving me a different piece of you. But I can't love part of a person. Negan, thank you, but what you gave me was a gilded cage whereas, he, he gave me wings to fly."
Negan roared, tearing the bed frame apart, and throwing the dresser across the room. Yes, he was furious. But not with Indra. Never with her. So she was a bird now, was she? Well shit, you didn't get mad at the bird for following its instincts and flying away, you get mad at the stupid fucker who came in and opened the cage.
