And the wait for answers is over! Aren't you so glad? lol Thanks for all the faves, follows, and reviews. You guys are the best! Also thanks to the other half of this duo, Deathsembrace137. I couldn't have done this story without her - she's amazing!
Hiro Mashima owns Fairy Tail.
CHAPTER 9: EVERYTHING IS GONE
I approached the group slowly, the thick tang of apprehension filling my throat to the point that I nearly gagged. My airways closed, and I found myself gripping Freed's hand with a strength I hadn't known I possessed. Glancing over, I found his face stark with fear, his skin quickly losing its color as he latched onto me just as tightly.
Master looked up at our approach, his expression riddled with uncertainty, and eyeing the others around him, I found theirs to be just as worried. My heart clenched in my chest, dread spilling over as we moved the last few feet to reach them. I opened my mouth, desperately needing to know if Laxus was alright, but the words refused to form, leaving me to gape foolishly.
Finally, Freed found his voice, asking the question that had begged to be asked, "What's wrong? Is Laxus alright?"
My teeth gnashed at the flesh of my lip, my anxiety rising as Makarov and Porlyusica shared a pointed look, and then the old woman began speaking, "There's been no change for the moment."
My breath left in a rush at her words, the tenseness seeping from my shoulders, and finally I could put thought to words. "Thank Mavis he's okay." Turning to Freed, I found his body still tight with tension, his eyes narrowed in suspicion. What was wrong? The thought had barely flit through my mind, when I realized how she'd phrased it - for the moment. What was that supposed to mean?
Once again Freed was the one to speak our shared concerns. "What do you mean, for the moment?"
Makarov stepped forward, answering, "Porlyusica and Wendy have come up with a technique they believe will aid in waking Laxus up."
"That's wonderful news!" I cried, feeling my eyes well with tears. Could it really be true? Was this nightmare about to be over?
"Then why do you all look so nervous?" Freed questioned, his jaw flexing as he grit his teeth together.
A kernel of doubt crept into my mind as they each began to shift in place, their discomfort almost palpable. Something wasn't right. Why would they act like that if everything was okay?
"T-there's a chance it might not work," Wendy began timidly, her fingers tangling in her hair anxiously, "And there c-could be complications."
"Complications? What kind of complications?" I asked. That kernel of doubt was growing by the moment, edging towards full-blown panic.
Evergreen flashed me a look of fear, her eyes peeking out sharply from behind her glasses. "They've never done this procedure before."
"That much is true," Porlyusica agreed brusquely, her voice matter-of-fact as she frowned at having her medical judgement questioned. "It is still a viable plan. There is a good possibility that it will do exactly as we hope it will."
"But what are the risks? What could go wrong?" I asked hesitantly.
Wendy shifted uneasily beside the older woman and answered, "He could have a bad reaction to the potion or I may not be able to heal the damaged areas quickly enough."
Freed turned his intelligent eyes onto the young girl, which seemed to make her even more nervous. "A bad reaction like what?"
"We aren't entirely certain of that. It could be any number of things," the unsociable woman returned, her tone indicating her impatience. "We need to get started, Makarov."
"Wait! Why are we doing this, when you don't even know what it could do to him?" I said hastily. This was moving too fast. We shouldn't be rushing things like this. Laxus's life was hanging in the balance, and we couldn't afford to get this wrong. What if whatever they wanted to do made his condition even worse?
Freed, Bixlow, and Evergreen all nodded their agreement, finding my argument to be perfectly sound. None of us liked the idea of jumping the gun and putting Laxus at risk. What I couldn't figure out was why Laxus's own grandfather was so intent upon allowing it.
Apparently, Freed had the same thought, because not a moment later, he was asking, "Why are you allowing this, Master? Wouldn't it be better to let his body recover on its own than to do something that neither of our healers is certain will work? I mean, they cannot even say what could happen if something goes wrong."
The wizened old man shook his head and opened his mouth to speak, when Porlyusica quieted him, drawing our attention back to her. "This was my call, and it's the right one. We cannot wait any longer. We must attempt this now. If he stays in that coma, we could lose him completely. His mind is almost certainly inactive right now, and when that happens, it can begin to deteriorate. He can't stay in that coma for too much longer without running the risk of losing the parts of himself that make up who he is."
Freed and I exchanged a similar look of horror at that. We had foolishly thought the danger lay in him never waking up, never once considering that it could be just as dangerous for him to stay as he was. If everything she said was true, then we had no choice. We would have to try, and pray like hell that it would work.
"I realize it's not a fool-proof plan, but it's the best we've got." She paused for a moment as if deciding something, and then she offered roughly, "We wouldn't be doing this if I didn't believe it was necessary."
Porlyusica moved to the head of the bed, little Wendy situating herself across from her on the other side, her demeanor already changing from the timid little girl to the serious look of a seasoned healer. Makarov, Freed, and I stood off to the side, far from the bed, as instructed by the old woman. It had been her only condition to the three of us being present, well that and that we were to keep our mouths shut.
She had kicked Bixlow and Evergreen from the room, ignoring their shouts of protest, deeming the idea of more people preposterous. I had been ready to bow out for one of them to take my place - after all, they were his team mates, his friends - but the order had come from Freed, and strangely the others hadn't argued when the man shoved me through the doors. I had expected them to be angry, but a glance back had shown me there were no hard feelings, only acceptance.
Still, it didn't feel right for me to take their place. They should have been here with their leader. I said as much to Freed, but he gave me a stern look, quelling any further thought of voicing my disagreement.
"Alright, let's do it," Porlyusica announced, nodding to her assistant as she began drawing a deep red solution up into a needle.
Wendy moved closer to the bed, lifting her hands to the side of Laxus's head, and announced her readiness with a short jerk of her head. The older woman took a deep breath and angled Laxus's head aside, her voice coming out stiff, telling us what she was doing, "Now, I'm going to inject this directly into his spinal column. It will head straight to his brain, where it will seep into the tissue, coating it in a magical stain if you will."
Reaching her hand to the back of his neck, Porlyusica pressed nimble fingers between the disks of his spine, and continued, "This stain will relax the area, numbing it a bit, but the real importance is highlighting the damaged areas. For whatever reason, Wendy has been unable to pinpoint the exact location, so this will put what is virtually a neon sign on it, so she can find it and heal it. This should take care of the swelling, and theoretically help him wake up."
The needle lifted, pressing into his body, and unconsciously, my hand found its way back to Freed, holding on tightly as we waited to see what would happen. I felt an answering tug from him, and I prayed, my eyes locked onto the two healers and the man I'd been longing for. A part of me wanted to hope, to believe that it would work out, that he would open his eyes and everything would be as it should.
I wanted to have faith, in Porlyusica and Wendy, in the possibility of him waking up, in life being kind, but life had taught me long ago to be cautious. I kept that hope locked firmly inside me, deep inside the vault of my heart, and there it would stay until Laxus opened his eyes. I just couldn't afford to dream, not when I was so close to either getting everything I wanted or losing the man I very well might love.
A push of the needle, and there was no going back, no calling a halt to the procedure. There was no stopping it now. We could only watch as Wendy's eyes closed in concentration, her hands lighting up with her magic, and hold on to each other. The small girl's brows furrowed, her teeth clenching determinedly, and for a second, everything seemed fine. Then it all went downhill.
"Porlyusica, something's wrong! I can see the problem, but something's...not right," Wendy squeaked, her voice tense and unsure.
Freed froze beside me, his body going taut against mine. I latched onto his arm with my other hand, my eyes beginning to fill with tears as I fought not to run toward the bed and the still form of Laxus.
In the next instant, Wendy's eyes popped open and she shrieked out a warning, "He's seizing!"
She reached small hands out to her patient, and then Laxus began to convulse, his body thrashing so wildly, he nearly slipped off the bed. I watched through watery vision as Porlyusica began barking out orders, using her body to prevent Laxus from going over her side of the bed.
No, no, no... The word repeated over and over again in my head, my mind refusing to believe I was seeing. I thought I had accepted that things could go very wrong, but nothing couldn't have prepared me for this. I tried to move forward - I had to get to him. I knew if I could just get to him, everything would be okay, but something stopped me.
I whipped my head around to see Freed holding onto my hand, his face white with fear, his eyes large in his face. I yanked on my arm, needing him to let go, but he wouldn't release his grip. Didn't he understand? I had to go help Laxus. I couldn't stay here, because if I stayed across the room from Laxus, I'd have to accept the truth.
I couldn't lose him now, not when I had just realized how much I wanted to be with him. Freed tugged at my hand, easing me back towards him, and I whimpered, shaking my head slowly. He said nothing, but he gave me that look, the one that said there was nothing I could do, the one that spoke of helplessness. And I couldn't hold it in anymore.
A small sound slipped out, just a hint of a cry, but just that one sound seemed to open the floodgates, and suddenly I found myself sobbing. He pulled me the rest of the way ,and I fell into his arms, slumping against him like he was the last solid thing in the world. I buried my face into his shoulder, no longer able to watch as Laxus was subjected to such violent spasms.
It was like his body was in full revolt, his muscles contracting in a way that had to be painful. He would hate this, all of us seeing this sudden loss of control, and I couldn't help but wonder if the man I cared about would still be in there when this was all over. The thought of his consciousness, everything that was Laxus, disappearing like that scared me.
Was he even now slipping away into the darkness, his mind not knowing what was happening? Or was he in there, fighting to come back, completely aware of what was going on around him? The idea of him trapped inside his own mind, knowing his body was betraying him, keeping him prisoner like that cut into me. It stabbed into my aching heart, and I wailed.
I wanted to rage at unfairness of it all, scream at the top of my lungs, beg someone - anyone to stop this, but there was nothing to be done. We couldn't save him from this. We'd already tried, and now we had failed. The incredible man who had proclaimed his love for me with his dying breath was over there, his body in complete upheaval, and there was nothing I could do to help him.
The world faded around me. Well, this world did anyway. I knew enough to realize this was most likely all in my mind, but although I understood all that, it didn't make me less nervous. I hated when it got like this, nothing as far as the eye could see. Though, if this was all in my head, then there was no as far as the eye could see.
It was pretty easy to see what had happened. I'd assumed I was on my way out when I took that hit for Lucy, but I guess I was wrong. Lucy...God, what I'd give to see her right now. I'd finally told her how I felt about her. How ironic it was that I did it thinking I was dying, and here I was, still alive, but locked inside my head.
Another irony. I'd spent so much time in the past thinking of nothing but myself, believing myself to be better than anyone, and now, I was stuck with myself. Talk about your perfect payback.
I had no idea how long I had been like this. I had only caught snatches of conversations going on around me, but I figured it had been a while. Of course, there was no way to know for certain considering I couldn't tell day from night.
My thoughts returned as they always did to Lucy. How was she doing? There were times when I was certain I'd heard her voice. Sometimes, she would whisper, and I couldn't make out what she'd said. Other times, she would cry, and I'd fight with everything I had to go to her, nearly screaming with frustration when I couldn't. Still, her voice was a beacon in the dark for me, a way of knowing she was still out there.
I couldn't help but wonder why she was beside me so much. I had backed away long ago and left her in Natsu's care. The two were so close, and though it pained me to watch, I wanted Lucy to be happy. If Natsu could do that for her, then how could I interfere?
But now, I was left with questions about her presence. I loved that she was near me, loved to hear her soft voice, but I just didn't understand why. Why did she spend so much time with me? Why did she cry so much?
Could she feel something for me?
Suddenly a sharp pain lanced through my head and the world rocked around me. I couldn't breathe, couldn't feel anything else. The pain was just too much. A scream ripped from my throat, the sound deafening as I clutched at my head.
I could vaguely hear a woman yelling out for someone to hold me down, but I couldn't understand. I didn't need anyone to hold me down. I needed the pain to go away. A jolt of fire shot through my head, and I bellowed again, unable to stop the agonized sound. Never before had I ever felt something like this. So much pain.
I was in agony, the pain shooting though me in hot arcs. I just wanted it to stop. I just wanted to sink into oblivion until I felt nothing at all, but it seemed so hopeless.
And then, I heard that voice, the one that never failed to calm me. Her voice. Lucy.
She was crying again, her words broken, tearful. "Laxus...don't leave me. Please..."
It swept over me like a wave of refreshing water, cooling the heat, easing the pressure in my head. I could finally breathe again, and as the pain slowly seeped out of my body, the world stilled. Her voice had soothed the storm inside me.
Lucy...
I wanted to see her again, tell her how much I loved her and missed her, but I was trapped here...in hell. Having her so close to me, yet never able to reach out and touch her was torture. I wanted to tell her to wait for me, that I was in here, but she couldn't hear me. She could never hear me.
The world swam around me, and I knew the darkness was coming. It would come, and I'd be lost again. I fought for more time. I could hear her. She was so close, and I didn't want to leave again. I wanted to be free from this place, free to love her, to be with her.
I swore to myself, if I could just get out of here, I'd tell her. I'd tell her everything. How I'd loved her for so long, how much I'd wanted her. I just had to make it out. But it was no use. I wasn't going anywhere.
The lights flickered like lightning in the night sky, and I knew I was done. It would take me away from her again. I had just enough time to wonder if I'd ever escape, ever see her again, and then everything was gone.
