Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter! Please, if I did... there would be a lot more Hufflepuff action, Neville would've ended up with Luna, and Cho and Lavender would've been very quickly disposed of.
AN: OHMYGOSHOHMYGOSH I'M SO SO SO SO SORRY! D: 2013 has been incredibly busy and stressful for me so far, so I haven't always gotten a chance to write. I didn't think I'd have anything done for a few more days, too, when I should get a break. BUT HERE IT IS! :D I LOVE you guys, don't forget that. VIRTUAL COOKIES FOR ALL FOR STICKING WITH ME!
xXCOMMANDERXx: Thank you! I always thought that too. I'm also sorry that it's been a while! Bonus cookie for you! ;)
...
The next morning everyone sat at the table in stony silence, when Molly noticed something on the table that hadn't been touched. She picked it up. It was a black envelope, with a name scrawled in gold writing on the front. Esmeralda's name.
"Esmeralda, dear, I think a letter arrived for you…" She took it quickly, nearly snatched it out of her hands. "Thanks." She said sharply.
She looked at it, and people saw her flush slightly. "Oh. This isn't the normal time for this…" She abruptly rose from her seat, and dashed out of the room. Sirius followed her quickly.
Eyebrows raised, Ron flicked a finger at the door, "This'll be good. We oughta watch them. It'll either be bloody interesting, or someone could get seriously hurt."
Most of them moved to the doorway, which had been left partially open by Sirius, and watched as Sirius ran up the stairway, grabbing onto Esmeralda's dark blue cloak.
"Sirius! What the hell are you doing!" "I just want you to stop."
He sighed as she turned to face him; on the stairs she was just as tall as him – being a couple steps up. Her eyes were bright – but with what emotion?
Sirius took a deep breath and looked her in the eyes, "Esmeralda, just hear me out. I love you, I always have, and I never meant to kiss her. We all know how popular I was among witches, and it was Valentine's Day! They don't care if I have a girlfriend or not, they still send stuff! That one girl had spiked the chocolates she gave me with love potion! I only ate them because she had copied your signature! Didn't you think it odd that I didn't come to breakfast? The first time you saw me was when I had kissed her!"
"Oh yeah!" She said sharply, eyes flaring up with anger, "And where's your proof! Did you ever tell anyone else?"
Sirius paled a little, and he was a little softer. "Yes. I told Remus, but he didn't believe me. He was too furious with me for hurting you. I couldn't tell Peter, if I even tried he would start making cracks about it. I couldn't tell Lily, she hated me for it, she wouldn't have believed me… But I did confide with James!" he had shouted the last part, causing Esmeralda to have a flash of pity in her eyes.
"James believed me instantly…" he said, his voice softer again and his eyes shining with new pain. "Instantly. He knew how much I had loved you, and he knew that – while I might've cheated on some other girl – I never would've cheated on you. You were always… Pretty little Lupin, do you remember that pet name?" Esmeralda forced herself not to smile as Sirius continued. "James knew that I wouldn't – couldn't – cheat on you. Even if I found it possible to stop loving you, you've always been my friend. I would never cheat on you. I'd put you down gently, or get you to break up with me… wouldn't have wanted you to break up with me that way…
"Point is, Esmeralda, you have to believe me… I never stopped loving you… I'll admit, thinking of your… perfect gold hair…" he raised a hand to gently finger it, "and bright soulful blue eyes…" he put his hand back down slowly, "were some of the things I imagined in Azkaban. And one of the worst things that happened in Azkaban were the memories… that the Dementors brought up… It's not like I had a fabulous life. My parents abusing me and Regulus, James' and Lily's deaths, full moon after full moon, seeing Peter run from their house… you running away from me, screaming that you hated me as you cried… I don't like seeing my friends hurt Esmeralda. I don't like seeing you hurt. And I hate it when I'm the one that hurt you. But I know… that you didn't stop loving me… Remember the Amortentia we filched? I could smell you… but you smelled the scent of my fur, remember?" Esmeralda blushed a little bit, before she said sharply "It doesn't matter, Sirius. That's over… and if you're asking if I can be yours again, the answer is no…" "Why!" Sirius said.
"Because someone loves me more than you did." She said quietly. "Prove it!" Sirius said, a hint of pain seeping into his voice "Because sure as hell that's not true."
Esmeralda pushed him in vain, "Shut UP! I have proof! Ever since the first of March after that Valentine's Day, I've received a love letter!"
Everyone watching held their breath. What?
"Every first of every month, I received a letter, just like this one." She was crying again, clutching the plain black letter in her hand, her wolf-like nails nearly tearing the envelope. "They were beautiful. The person who wrote to me truly loved me, and knew a lot about me… more than I thought was appropriate. They knew so much." She paused for a second, closing her eyes in pain. "They would always write beautiful poems. I remember my favorite – the first one…"
Everyone stopped and listened as she recited it.
"My face burns red
Whenever I see you,
Your hair is of pure gold,
Like the heart within you."
It was rather nice. A good one for the first. She then, bitterly, said "I wonder what this one says! I bet it's better than anything you could ever think up!"
She torn open the note, and started saying it slowly.
"You're the smartest and most beautiful witch of all time,
For you I'd commit even the worst of crimes,
Even if it lands me in Azkaban,"
She paused, and a few more tears fell as she picked up shakily.
"For twelve more years, all over again."
She hiccupped slightly, as if to clear her throat. But she would not allow time for that to sink in. She continued again, slowly, her eyes flicking up at Sirius.
"My fur's like my name,
While yours is pure white,
I'm of the darkness,
And you're of the light."
"Fur?" Hermione questioned quietly, a mere whisper. She was shushed hurriedly.
"I don't deserve you,
Never have, but it's my fate
To love you Esmeralda,
Can we start a clean slate?"
She started crying a little more, tears running down and off of her cheeks. Her eyes had closed and only opened again as she felt cold hands rest on her cheeks, and wipe away her tears. Then, slowly, softly, Sirius read the part that Esmeralda had not finished.
"P.S.: I always did love
Your eyes of deepest blue,
But I can say this with truth:
No one has more love than I, for you."
Then, a second after, he spoke again. "I promise that."
He leaned in to her, the letter falling as his arms gently wrapped around her. The thin, smooth lips of a man of nearly broken spirit met the pure, youthful lips of a woman full of life. As one of his hands stroked through her bright gold hair, Sirius – for the first time in thirty-two years – kissed Esmeralda.
And what a kiss it was.
...
AN: THERE. I've been waiting FOREVER to write this chapter. Those of you out there who write as well should know by now that there are somethings you can't just write. You need to have the right feeling for every story, every chapter. This chapter - one I've been waiting for this whole time - has evaded me very well. And yes, I did write the poems. A long time back, actually. I do love poetry, I've actually won an award for one once, a few years back. :D Hope you liked the chapter - it's pretty much my favorite. AND BEFORE YOU ASK, yes, I will explain how Sirius got those letters to her while he was in Azkaban. Do you have ideas for how he did it? (I already know, I just want to see what you think)
