Shandi POV

I took another deep breath as we walked inside. You can do this. Be strong, do it for them. Keep it together for your brothers and sisters.I thought to myself as we slowly got closer and closer. The soft sobs of friends and family members could be heard now and I could feel tears starting to build up in my eyes. But I had to keep reminding myself to stay calm. I wouldn't be any good to even one if I was a blubbering mess.

When we entered the main room I felt everyone's eyes fall on me. The people closest to me walked over muttering how sorry they were for my loss and eventually wrapping their arms around me in an effort to comfort me. I told them all the same thing, thank you and thank you for coming. Every so often someone would recall some of the good times they had with my parents, which would send them into a frenzy of tears. Of course they'd try to hold it back, in an effort to try and keep it together for me. They were the easy part, the strangers, the family members we never saw, all bawling and blubbering, a mess. I could handle them keep it together around them.

It was when I saw my sisters that I nearly broke down. They stood at the front of the church talking to some cousins that we barely ever saw, tears rolling down their faces. Karma had an arm slung over Kandy's shoulder and she nodded after something was said. A moment later my sisters were standing alone, a fresh batch of tears streaming down their cheeks. I told myself I could be strong, be strong for Kandy and Karma, as I walked over but the pain that contorted their faces was too much for me. I felt tears stinging my eyes, a single one rolling down my cheek and before I knew it I had my arms around Kandy who was sobbing uncontrollably.

"Shh," I cooed "It's alright."

Karma wrapped her arms around both of us in an effort to comfort the two of us. She was back to her state of control. She was able to hold back her tears now, and tried to keep it that way. I knew she would be able to do it, during the funeral at least, she wasn't nearly as good at hiding her emotions as Darry. I'd seen him earlier talking to one of Dad's friends, and Darry was more composed that he was. I don't know how long we stood there like that but finally Kandy pulled away. I released her my arms falling to my sides. She stood up straight, smoothing out her dress and wiping her eyes, trying hard not to ruin her make up any more than it already was. She tucked her hair behind her ears and looked at me.

"Sorry 'bout that," She said trying her hardest to smile, but it didn't work out so well.

"It's ok Kandy," I said "We can't all be as calm as Darry." I attempted a smile myself. I think it came out a bit better than hers, but not by much.

She laughed through the new set of tears that seemed to be starting to roll down her face, making her sound hysterical. "Yeah," She nodded wiping her eyes again. Her eyes moved from me to something on the other side of the room. I turned to see her looking at Pony and Soda. A pain stabbed in my chest seeing their faces, it was worse than they day they found out. Their features were streaked with sorrow, pain, and fear. I watched them for a second sitting there in the back with Johnny and they looked so young and innocent.

"I'm gonna go check on 'em." Kandy said snapping me out of my thoughts.

I turned to look at her and nodded. "Ok, yeah, go ahead."

She nodded and walked away leaving me standing alone. I looked over the crowded room at all the grieving people, looking for comfort from someone close. I looked at all the faces around me, but felt strangely calm. I didn't feel like I would break down at any minute now, not that I felt any less sad. I felt more in control. Another voice brought me back though and I was soon talking to a friend of my mother's. Her name was Carol and she'd been one of my mother's best friends. I knew her pretty well, better than any of Mom's other friends.

Carol wasn't much taller than I was and had fiery red hair that fell in waves down to her shoulders. Her eyes were red from crying and she held a handkerchiefin her hand. Her husband stood next to her and arm wrapped protectively around her shoulders as she wept. Carol and Mom had been friends since they were in the first grade, and she often came by the house with her husband for dinner. They were like family.

I talked to Carol for a long while. My whole feeling of calm was slowly starting to slip away. There had been a few times where I surely thought I was going to lose it completely, and there were a few times that Carol did. It was only when someone else, another woman Carol and Mom had gone to school with, called her name that she left. She wiped her eyes and gave me a hug before doing so.

I turned and wiped a tear from my own eye that threatened to escape. It was nearly time for the ceremony to begin now and people were taking their seats. I was headed to the back of the room to find my brothers and sisters, saying quiet 'hellos' to people as I passed. My calm was slipping away faster and faster now and I felt as though I might break down at any moment. I looked down as I walked, trying to regain my calm, although it wasn't working so well. When I looked up again that's when I saw him, and I couldn't keep the tears back. I don't know why I was surprised to see him standing right there, I already knew he was there. But I felt relieved that he was there right then. I made my way across the room and threw my arms around him burying my face in his chest. Tears slowly started spilling from my eyes, and he wrapped his arms around me. And before I could help it the tears were coming faster and faster, pouring out of my eyes, surely ruining his shirt.

"It's ok Shandi, I'm here." Two-bit murrmered softly in my ear. Even though I was in a complete break down his words made me feel better. I attempted to say something but only more sobs came out. His arms tightened around me and I buried my face deeper into his chest. I knew that he'd stand there with me for as long as I needed him too. Knowing that made me feel better. After a few minutesI managed to some what pull myself back together. I lifted my head out of his chest.

He wiped a stray tear off my face. "You ok?" He asked, a toned down version of his goofy grin on his face.

I tried to laugh but just sounded my hysterical. "Mhmm," I nodded carefully wiping my eyes. I was thankful that I had rememberd to put on water proof mascara on today. I couldn't imagine how horrific I would look if I would have forgotten to put it on. He tilted his head looking at me for a moment. Tears were still streaming down my face, a lot slowly now, but they were still coming. I knew I wasn't convinsing him. "Really, I am." I said, surprised that my voice didn't crack.

After a moment he nodded. "Ok," He said. Then I saw something that I hadn't seen a few short minutes ago, the pain in his eyes. Two-bit, my happy goofy Two-bit, looked in as much pain as I was. It surprised me, but really it shouldn't have. My parents had been more parents to him that his own had. Mom and Dad had been better parents to all of the guys than their parents had. I felt the tears start streaming faster down my face. Two-bit's face fell and he was about to speak but I wrapped my arms around him again, not in need of comfort this time but in attempt to comfort him.

It was a minute later when I heard Darry's voice. "Shandi," He said, I let Two-bit go looking up at him. He nodded his head twoards the seats. "C'mon, it's almost time to start."

I nodded "Ok Dar." I said and he kept walking forward to our seats. I walked with Two-bit until we reached where we were suppose to sit. Well of course I had to sit up in the front row with my brothers and sisters and the rest of the family and there wasn't enough seats for Two-bit to sit up there.

I gave him another hug before going to my seat. "I'll see you later." He said before turning and walking back towards where the rest of the guys were sitting. I found my seat between Soda and Kandy and sat down tears still streaming down my face.