So I had a tough time with this chapter, it occurred to me as mature as Mercedes had been and seemingly perfect she had to have her faults and insecurities as well and the big one was withdrawal, she had to confront that and of all people with Sam. His flaws have been out there since day one but hers were hidden so time to dig into that which makes Mercedes tick. Introductions of Brittana in this chapter.

Enjoy and please review thank you... this one kind of was the big personal one I had to dig into...

Chapter 9

Mercedes cried, she sat in the center of the bed sobbing openly, she blew her nose and whimpered, clinging to the pillow she bit her lip as her eyes trained on the screen.

Sam and her were peacefully sleeping when his phone woke them up, Mercedes had answered it and given to a sleepy Sam as she turned on the light, Tabetha needed him to come to her apartment and quickly. Sam didn't want to worry Mercedes but asked that she stay, so in his absence she decided to watch a movie, in retrospect she shouldn't have picked Seven Pounds being it's such a sad movie but she'd never seen it and wondered if it was that good. As the movie ended and she cried some more she glanced at the clock, he'd been gone for almost two hours and it was nearing three in the morning. Puck had come to check on her and left stating he couldn't handle such a dramatic movie, right on time as the credits rolled he popped his head in the room, "Is it over yet?"

Mercedes bit her lip and looked at him with red eyes and nodded, he frowned and gave her a soft smiled, "Wanna come watch some MXC with me? Voice over and people doing humiliating things makes you feel better trust me." She giggled and threw the blankets back and got up to join him on the couch. They laughed for the hundredth time as the antics and announcers funny commentary. Mercedes saw the time tick to four and looked at the door hearing Sam's heavy and angry sounding footsteps outside, he walked in and without a word to either of them walked in his room and slammed the door.

Puck groaned, "I hate it when he gets like this... you guys didn't get in a fight did you?" She shook her head staring at the door. She thought for a moment she'd made him mad but she hadn't talked to him in the the nearly two hours he was gone. She stood up and walked to his room as the door opened quickly causing her to stumble back a bit. Sam looked at her and put his head down quickly, the lights were off but something seemed different about him at the brief moment their eyes locked. Puck stood, "Well my job is done I'm going to head to bed, night guys..." Sam didn't say anything and Puck just shrugged used to his hot and cold temperament.

Mercedes bit her lip and Sam went to the kitchen, he seemed angry and cold. She walked in the room and sat on the bed pulling her legs to her chest and waited, she heard him making noise and slamming the fridge door. His steps came closer to the room and he paused as she heard him lock the front door. He sighed and came in closing the door behind him. She was staring at the floor as he walked by her and sat in his desk chair. She turned her head slightly and felt nervous, what happened that made him so mad? Sam sighed and she heard what sounded like ice in a bag and looked at him fully, he had it on his hand and slowly she looked over him it was dark because he turned the light off and tv as well.

"You didn't have to wait up for me..." She could hear he was trying to control his tone with her. She shrugged and stood up to get the bed settled and as she got in and under the covers. He watched her a smile wanting to grace his lips but the throbbing in his hand prevented him. "I'll be in bed in a minute I just have to get something out of my car. Go on and try to sleep I'll be in a bed in a while."

Mercedes looked at him and nodded but felt unsettled, something was surely wrong and she didn't feel right, pushing aside the worry of starting a fight she threw the blankets back and jumped up taking his forearm. He stopped and let out a breath as she tried to will him silently to turn and look at her, when he didn't for a minute she realized since he came in he was trying to hide his appearance What was he hiding from her? Her fingers felt something of a mark on his arm curious she brushed her fingers up and down and narrowed her eyes she reached over and flipped on the light switch and saw he had a cut on his arm, stepping in front of him she saw more red on his shirt, blood? She looked up at his neck and saw some red marks that started to turn blueish gray, bruises?

Finally she laid eyes on his face, his normally puffy pink lips were still that but his bottom lip was cut and his left cheek was a dark red while his hair was messed up. His shirt was torn along with the blood, he'd been in a fight? She stared at him as he finally let out a groan and pulled his arm away and went in the bathroom, he didn't shut the door all the way just cracked it but she followed and pushed it slightly open watching him as he turned on the water and took a handful in his mouth to spit, lots of red was mixed in with that water. She tilted her head, "Sammy?"

He looked at her in the mirror and mumbled, "Just lay down Merc..." She didn't move and he sighed, "Merc leave it alone..." She cut her eyes at him and nodded and left the door way. He looked down and then back in the mirror and saw her carrying a pillow to the door, "Where are you going?"

She stopped and didn't look at him, "Sleeping on the couch, if you're not going to tell me what happened then I'm not sleeping next to you..." She didn't want to look at him, because it broke her heart but also because she was angry, he was hurt and her instincts were screaming to take care of him but with him being so withdrawn she was letting the anger over take her, "If you're going to be immature I'll one up you."

He put his head down, "Please don't sleep on the couch... please." She turned and looked at him, and he felt her eyes, she gasped at something and he looked at her and followed her line of sight to his leg and saw the cut, "Don't bring a knife in a fight if you don't know how to use it..." Her eyes snapped at his and he knew with that he'd have to spill. He grabbed a towel and went back in the room shutting off the light and reaching out for her hand, she slipped it in his as he walked over to the bed with her and motioned for her to sit down. As she did he took a seat on the floor in front of her and she accessed him fully, he'd been in a pretty bad fight. "First if anyone asks I was with you all night ok?" She wanted to ask why? And who would ask her that? But she simply nodded. He took off his shoes and let his tongue run over the cut on his lip as he spoke, "So Tabetha when she called earlier she was having some problem with some guys who lived on the same floor as her. She wanted me to come over to kind of get them to chill out." Mercedes nodded as he went on to tell her what happened.

Sam pulled into the apartment complex it was after midnight so most of the residents were asleep but some were coming home from clubs and a night out. He walked up to Tabetha's building and took the steps two at a time. Finding nothing out of the ordinary till he knocked on the door. She opened it instantly and threw her arms around his waist, "Thank god you're here!" She seemed shaken and he gave her a half hug wondering what happened she sighed, "The guys next door came back drunk, I just got in from hanging out with some friends and I asked them if they could keep it down. They were rude no biggy but one of them he shoved me..." Sam narrowed his eyes at the idea, no one hurts his female friends, he nodded and looked over the three other doors on the same level and motioned for her to show him but before she could there was a loud ruckus that tipped him off.

He walked to the door and knocked twice and waited, one of the guys was laughing loudly as he came to the door, "What the hell do you want?"

Sam stood calm, "Wanna keep it down it's late?" The guy looked at him he had at least a good six inches on Sam and possibly twenty maybe thirty pounds, he figured no big deal to take him, he glanced over at Tabetha, "Don't look at her, you look at me when I'm talking to you." Sam's tone was getting angry by the second. The guy scoffed and turned to shut the door but Sam put his foot to stop him.

"Wanna lose the foot? Keep it there." The guy didn't have a problem backing up his threat, two more appeared behind him and Sam didn't move, "Guys want to watch me beat this guy's ass?" They all chuckled and he opened the door more to come out on the balcony. Sam didn't step back just over so he could give the guy room, if he came in his apartment and the police got involved he'd go to jail for sure. Fights with sailors always happened it was what they did, as long as charges weren't filed and it was all settled in the end. The guy's friends stood in the doorway, Sam kept a side eye on them, "What's up little man make your move."

"You made one when you put your hands on her." Sam's tone was filled with rage, no one was going to hit a woman if he had a thing to say about it. The guy laughed and threw his arms at her direction and Sam spoke again lowly, "Apologize."

"Make me..." He said challengingly, Sam didn't have to think about it he lunged at him tackling him to the floor and threw a few punches, the guy tried to block them but he connected a few in the face and one in the side. His friends rushed him and pulled Sam off the guy. He chuckled and spit out some of the blood and got up, "Now how big and bad are you?" Sam didn't struggle saving his strength he just waited for them to make a move. They didn't have a good hold on him and if he needed to he could get out of it but he waited just the same to see if this guy was as big a coward as he thought he was.

Sam smiled, "Hurts doesn't it."

The guy walked up to him and grabbed him by the throat taking a firm hold, "Come to my house and threaten me for some girlfriend of yours and think I'm scared you got me wrong my man." He reached back and punched Sam in the face then threw another hit to the same side.

His friend laughed and Tabetha stood in her doorway fidgeting trying to figure out what to do, they were all bigger than her, hell bigger than Sam if he was overpowered they would kill her but she couldn't stand there and let them just beat him up, "That all you got?" Sam goated the guy and reached back to throw another punch but Sam used all his weight to push the guy to his left into the wall and knock him down while shoving the other into his attacker. They both fell and Sam turned to Tabetha, "Shut the door!"

She didn't move and Sam was rushed again by two of the guys, they both threw punches and got him to the floor and started to kick him. Tabetha gasped and turned into her apartment going for something to help him. Sam groaned at another kick and the first guy he knocked down finally got up, "I got something for him guys." They both moved and Sam saw the knife and chuckled thinking, of course one of them would have a knife. He lunged down and Sam kicked up connecting with the guy's face but also got a pretty good cut for his defense.

Tabetha was in the doorway again with a bag in her hand as Sam stood and faced off the other two throwing a punch to one and an elbow to the other. His elbow caught the guy in the chest and caused him to double over then he punched him in the face. All three lay on the floor trying to get up and groaning. One grabbed the railing and pulled himself up ready for another go as his friend was halfway up, they all heard the sound of a gun cocking. Every single one of them turned to Tabetha with a gun in her hand aimed at them passed Sam, "Touch him again and I will end you."

The one standing put his hands up and let out long breaths, "Whoa whoa put that away easy..." Sam took deep breaths and tasted the metal of blood in his mouth, he wanted to spit but was too shocked to do much but breath, "Easy there we were just playing around... look sorry ok. We'll keep it down and hey sorry I just got out of hand a little." Sam didn't look at him he was too surprised at Tabetha, she was confident.

"Get your friends get in your apartment and keep. it. down." He nodded and helped his friends into his doorway and shut it. She sighed and uncocked the gun and put the safety on, "Are you ok? I"m so sorry Mercedes is going to kill me!" He chuckled for a second and watched as she put the gun away. "I don't like to flash this thus why I didn't sooner but they weren't going to just beat you up in front of me and I not do anything to stop it."

Sam smiled, "It's ok, I had them where I wanted them."

She smiled and stepped aside, "Wanna clean up in here?" He hesitated for a moment but went inside anyway, she put her bag away and they walked into his kitchen he leaned against the counter as she fished for some ice packs to put on his face, she turned to look at him and reached up out of habit and touched his face, her touch was friendly... at first but something changed in her eyes, he watched her as she leaned in and he put his hands on her shoulders, she looked down, "Sorry I just..."

Sam sighed, "I should go, but I think those guys won't give you any problems from now on. Try to keep that thing put away pistol Patricia." He gave a smile and gave her a firm squeeze, she bit her lip and tried again to kiss him more forceful this time. He lightly pushed her away, "Tabetha no... I'm with Mercedes you know that."

"Why?" Her voice was soft and pain laced, "Why her? I mean besides the fact she's beautiful what is it about her that you can't let go? Was I ever enough? Did what we have mean nothing to you? Was I means to the end?" He shook his head, no way was he getting into this and at that while his girlfriend was at his house waiting for him. She shoved him, "Answer me! You owe me that! I gave you everything you wanted. All the times you came on to me and then just dismissed me so quickly I let it go. I compromised who I was for you! What was I to you through all that?"

He looked down and spoke firmly, "My friend with benefits as I've said time and time again... nothing more and nothing less."

She started to tear up, "Why do I feel like just nothing?"

He shook his head, "I don't know... but you better hope that Mercedes can forgive me after I tell her about this... because if she doesn't. If this breaks us, you will be nothing to me." He started for the door but stopped keeping his back to her, "And from now on, call Puck if something like this happens, we're not friends that call each other in the middle of the night any longer."

"Puck wouldn't come... I knew you would." She was leaned against the counter for support now. Sam chuckled and she looked at him, "He doesn't care about me... and until now I thought he was the only one."

Sam braved looking at her and spoke coldly anger building inside of him, "Puck cares enough to help you, he just doesn't want to confuse you and clearly I've done that. I'm sorry for that but to make it perfectly clearly. Mercedes was always the end for me. Nothing else compares and I was wrong for what I did to you but you were wrong for this right here. I'd keep my guard up with her the next time I see her if I were you."

He threw out a muffled goodbye and left soon after.

The drive didn't serve him well his anger only grew as he thought about the fight and the aftermath and of course having to tell Mercedes he figured he'd have to explain himself in the morning but she was awake and it added fuel to the fire when she was sitting on the couch laughing with Puck. He irrationally got angry and for that he was wrong, being cold to her as well. She didn't deserve it but she did deserve to know the whole truth so he sat on the floor waiting for her reaction to all he told her.

Mercedes however was angry, she'd dealt with this since they were kids and clearly he hadn't learned to grow up. She stood up and huffed, "So you go and defend her and she thinks it's open season to try and pick up on things?" He looked up at her with worried eyes, she was fuming, he'd seen this kind of angry a few times one or twice before they became more than best friends but she rarely blew up after that.

"I don't know but I wanted you to know I pushed her away she didn't make contact and I stopped it ok, I want you not her and I will never put myself in that position again." He licked at his cut lip and watched her huff and cross her arms.

She shook her head and looked at the time, she didn't want to do it but the words were coming out before she knew what hit either of them, "I'm sick of this Sam you did this to me in high school and you clearly didn't learn a lesson. You can't expect to take from someone especially something so intimate and want them to turn their feelings off because you do!" He was getting it now and nothing was stopping her, "I kept my mouth shut time and time again I stopped when you wanted to stop, do you know how confusing it is to be laying on your couch and have your best friend suddenly decide to grant you the chance to make out with him! THEN to have him just pull away like it never happened and to find out he was waiting for you to make the moves on him?"

He could take her anger but bringing up their past was hitting below the belt, "Whoa there Merc you stop right there I didn't take advantage of you, I just didn't know how to deal with how I felt about you. I was a kid!"

"But you still act like one Sam! You have these moods where you're hot then cold and it's not just me it's not just HER it's Puck you do it to your best friend here you do it to everyone! You're not expected to be perfect. No one expects more out of you than what you give but you still put this pressure on yourself. What did you ask me to marry you cause you think that's what I want huh!" She crossed the line from rational arguing to irrationally taking things and blowing them out of proportion.

Sam had enough and wanted to stop this train of thought, "I asked you because I love you because I miss you next to me and because I want to spend the rest of my life with you!" He let the pain he felt and the soreness from his encounter go and let the anger of their argument take him, "I give you what you want when you tell me, how can you stand there and blame me when you didn't speak up, when you CHOOSE to keep things from me. If you felt like I used you back then, or now tell me! Say it, was I just some sexual predator coming after you time and time again and you were this innocent victim were you Merc? Did I force myself on to you?"

She growled, "NO! But you, you used your body and your sexual appeal to cloud my mind, you had me where you wanted me time and time again and you knew it! You knew I had feelings for you that's why you started with me, you asked me in the car if I was in love with you but you knew the answer some part of you knew!"

"I didn't know! I had no idea I just figured it out in the moment and asked you because I AM OPEN WITH YOU!" He roared then threw his arms in the air to try to release some of his tension this was going south and bad, "Mercedes Jones I knew as much as you showed me but you close parts of you off to me, and in the times I get to see it all it's amazing but then I do something to screw this up which we both know is going to always happen and you shut parts off on me again and I'm left to wonder... what did I do? I'm not a smart man but I know enough to know that if you don't tell me something is wrong and I don't know it how can I fix it?"

She bit her lip and his words started to make sense but then again he made her this way and her anger took her again, "Because I couldn't trust you for the longest time!" He looked at her as if she kicked him in the throat, then in the gut he let out a gasp of air and stared at her hurt flooding his eyes, "Sam I trusted you as my friend but as a boyfriend I wasn't sure... you said you'd try and you changed and I loved it but I kept thinking what if you realize this wasn't working you'd go back to old Sam and I'd be expected to act like it never happened. I had to protect myself from..."

"Me..." He was wounded, the fight with three guys didn't hurt as much as what she just said, "You had to protect yourself from me because you thought I was using you." He shook his head and started to go for the door but she stopped him stepping in his way, the did a little side to side as he tried to get around her, "Move Merc you sleep in here I'll take the couch."

She shook her head, "We started this we're finishing it and going to bed. Together!" She stepped up and took a heavy breath, "I am terrified of you, when we broke up do you know what that did to me? We talked about what it did to you but you don't know about the nights I cried all night, missed sleep because my Sammy wasn't easy access on the phone because he 'let me go to follow my dreams' Do you know that I thought of quitting and coming home so many times it became apart of my daily routine? Wake up, shower, brush teeth, quit life and go home and work it out with Sam, get dressed, cry in closet over something like a shirt or hoodie that smelled like him or I wore around him, pull self together go to work and by lunch break down in a private place just to pull myself together and go back to working to come home and realize he wasn't there and break down again... Rinse and repeat... that's all I did for the longest time till one day I stopped thinking about it. I was the Mercedes you love the one that lets things go."

"I never asked you to let it go, you could have called and yelled me, told me I was an idiot I'd taken the first flight out and come and lived with you and made up for lost time." He was speaking with his boyfriend voice and it was melting her heart, but her anger was clinging to the situation. Now that she started the realization was coming to ahead and nothing not even Sam's soft green eyes looking at her and his hands itching to take her in his strong arms and push away all this anger could stop it.

"You're leaving again!" She gasped and covered her mouth for a moment as the tears welled up in her eyes, "You're going to be gone again and you asked me to marry you before you left. You'll come back and realize that I should stay there and you should stay here and this was just a fun time for a little while. We'll try long distance this time then it'll get to one of us and then the calls will stop and we'll realize after the fifth or sixth generic 'I love you' text that it was over and one of us would have to just simply say the words..." She trembled as the rest of her rant and anger lost it's fire. "That is what I'm scared of, that I'll never be able to let you go and you'll finally realize you can let me go."

Sam sighed and held out his hand but dropped it suddenly like dead weight, "I can't live without you Merc... I was stupid and I tried and I hated it, I felt like a huge part of me was gone. Making jokes that no one around me got. Doing impressions that only you and I laughed at and having others ask me what or who it was from. You were my life at one point and when you left I had to have my own life, I had to be home more and work by myself and drive passed all our old spots, restaurants and the school. Always being reminded of the girl that got away. You were miserable there? Try living a life with your other half gone and you're haunted by ghosts of the past. That's why I joined the Navy to get away from them, you were dating and seemed happy so I tried to move on and I gave up trying and just wanted to take it one heartbeat, one breath, one second at time. Till it didn't hurt so much or until the chance to get my other half back with me. To reach out in the middle of the night and feel your next to me, pressed against me even, to know your little hands would the ones resting around my waist. Your incoherent mumbling in the night was the one I knew and wanted. I wanted myself back... you are the best parts of me and I wanted it back... I wanted you back and I should have just said it but I didn't want to make you have to choose."

Mercedes was completely crying at his words, they were touching but still painful, she didn't know why she couldn't just let herself go, maybe it was a lifetime of having to fake it for her father in his absence as a parent but she couldn't keep doing that to Sam Tell him the whole truth and know it's ok. Mercedes sighed, "I have a friend named Santana that lives in my building right next door to me... when I first moved there like almost a year and a half or so into it, she heard me crying for a week... remember when you dated that girl what was her name? Something Lisa or Linda or Laura whatever anyways. I stalked her facebook cause I was curious about the girl that had your attention and saw some posts about how she was wanting to get married her and a friend were talking about it and this one night Santana had enough of the sobbing mess that was me on the other side of her wall.

Mercedes sobbed loudly into her pillows after reading his girlfriend's post about wanting to get married and her friend gushing over how cute they were as a couple. She sobbed because it should be her and she should be gushing about wedding plans or even married to him not some other girl. She cried and began to talk to herself, "It should be me!" She repeated this a few times until finally she heard thumping against the wall, and quieted down to hear the muffle voice coming through louder.

"Hey ARETHA! SHUT UP!" Her neighbor shouted and Mercedes bit her lip but sorrow was a hell of a fighter because she continued to cry but just quietly. The woman on the other side clapped, "Thank you!"

Mercedes cried for another hour and stupidly enough checked facebook again and saw Sam was tagged in a picture from some party possibly a wedding they attended, the girl was in his lap and she was dressed in a yellow dress with what looked like flowers in her hair, and sitting on his lap, Sam looked pleasant enough like he was making nice for the camera and Mercedes sniffled as a new set of tears burst out. Which in turn made her forget the neighbor and the anger that would soon follow. She cried for a good ten minutes before there was a knock at the door. Mercedes jumped and tried to pull herself together and stood up wiping her face as best she could to answer. When she looked out peep hole she saw a pair of women standing there, "Open up Franklin or I'll kick it in." The one from earlier was talking the other just stood almost vacant in the face staring at something on the door.

Mercedes bit her lip and tried to clear her hoarse throat, "I'm sorry I will keep it down..."

The raven hair woman shook head head, "No no you're opening it up or like I said..."

The blonde next to her finally checked in, "Or she'll huff and puff and kick the door in." She added a cheerful smile that Mercedes noticed took some of the wind out of the darker hair girl's sail.

She opened the door and the blonde instantly launched at her and startled her with a hug wrapping her arms around her shoulders and pulling her tightly, "It's ok I lost my cat once but turns out he went hitchhiking to find himself and forgot to leave the note he wrote." Mercedes looked confused more than anything and the other woman patted her friend on the shoulder. She pulled away and smiled, "I make lots of cakes if you ever want some." She gave a sweet kiss on her cheek and poked Mercedes nose and turned to the other, "Be nice Santana." They kissed each other and the blonde bounced out leaving the two women.

Mercedes stood scared as Santana walked into her apartment and looked around, "Damn your place is nice, might as well get comfortable I think I'll be here for a while. Oh that was Brittney my girlfriend and I'm Santana and you're Mercedes Jones right? I looked at your mail one day cause of all this crying I had to know who I was going to complain to the landlords about."

Mercedes for some reason shut her door and followed Santana into the living room, "I'm really sorry about the crying I just had some bad stuff going on..."

She nodded, "I get it that's why I'm hear... you see here's the thing I find it's always been easier to talk to a stranger about things that are bothering you rather than someone you know because then you don't have to deal with hurt feelings because well it had nothing to do with that person. Think of me as free therapy now lay it on me."

Mercedes clutched her hands together and wondered if she should open the flood gates, Santana was seated on her couch and took a pillow and patted it motioning for Mercedes to sit and spill her guts, at the very least to an actual person. Her expression softened up and it was enough to let lose with all of the things she was upset about. Mercedes was on the couch and curled up with her head in Santana's lap instantly and the Latin girl ran her fingers through her hair soothing her as she cried and talked randomly and sometimes in sequence, "If he marries her it'll kill me I mean it and what would I look like leaving here for a guy that will be with another girl? How could I watch that happen?" She sobbed and clung to Santana as she cried more and more till the tears started to die down and she caught her breath.

They sat in silence Santana treading her fingers through her hair and Mercedes calming down. Brittney popped up to check on them and stated she had practice and would be home later to check in again. With one more kiss to both women, lips and head she was gone. Santana sighed, "Start from the beginning and tell me about this guy..." Mercedes sighed and began on the playground when they met. After a few hours and speaking animatedly, getting angry then sad and even having the other girl fanning herself from the sexual history Mercedes was back to sad thinking of how they ended things and how he moved on from her.

Santana smiled and by this time had made herself a drink and was very at home, it was as if they were the best of friends, "Well he seems like one hell of a guy and you both did a lot of growing together but can I say something?" Mercedes nodding sitting in the other sofa looking at her hoping for some kind of instant fix on these feelings she had, "I think you never fully let him in, you did sometimes but not all the time cause you always expected him to let you down at least on that relationship emotional level. You have to tell him how you feel when you feel it. If you're pissed scream at him, if you're sad cry to him, if you're happy well never mind that you never seem to skimp on him knowing he makes you happy, but he has to know you are sad and angry with him too. It's not normal to ALWAYS be happy, trust me Brit and I, we're not perfect and we fight and I cuss her out in Spanish and she as you're aware is not all there as is but she's really smart she just checks out a lot more than she should. But she'll surprise you sometimes."

Mercedes smiled and wiped her face, "You really love her a lot..." Santana nodded and that caused her to let out a sighed, "And I love him still but he's clear across the country and me laying her wallowing isn't helping myself and you're right I should tell him how I feel completely but he's with her and I won't mess that up... married or not I will either have a chance again or I won't and if I do I'll be all in and totally let him in and trust it'll be ok." Santana clapped her hands together and stood up to give Mercedes a hug.

They stayed that way for a bit then Santana sighed, "Ok so I'm going to go and take a shower and get these salty tears off me, but if you ever want to talk I'm right next door and if you want to hang out you are welcome anytime as well you're cool peoples Aretha, how about you use that voice for something other than ugly cries ok?" Mercedes nodded and waved her off sitting back on the couch she felt so much better and felt like she was taking steps to being ok again.

Sam was leaned against his desk as she finished, "I trusted you'd always be there as my friend but as more I was scared you'd leave me, get tired of me or worse... but the friend side of me defended you while this lifetime of giving the men in my life the peace from my rage kept me from fully expressing my feelings all the time. Make no mistakes you make me so very happy it's overwhelming. The problem is you make me miserable as well but it's your absence that makes me that way because I don't really need you but I want you around me always. I wanna laugh at your impressions and have people look at her like we're crazy, I want you to text me saying you need me to hurry where you are because people are idiots. I want to look across a table and share a judging face at something someone did or said. I want to watch movies little to no one has seen then quote them word for work randomly through our days. I want to reach for you in the middle of the night and by the way I want to ramble your name incoherently in the night and feel your heartbeat under my hand. Saying I need you seems too clingy and not us but somehow it's true without all the unhealthy side affects."

She stepped in front of him and took his face in her hands and smiled, "The thought that next week I'll be back home and you'll be sailing through the ocean and I won't be able to reach for you is killing me but right now I just want to be with you and enjoy you before I go. I will have my dreams with you and keep your side of the bed warm till you come back to me." He bit his lip and her thumb traced over it sighing, "But we're not kids anymore Sam and you can't fight everyone all the time."

He reached up and took her wrists and kissed her thumb, "But you're the only one I want to fight for... know that a sleep on a small cot style bed on that boat and I'd be dreaming about you being there with me every night. We can call, and email, and skype and there's twitter and facebook and didn't you say you got a tumblr account?" She giggled and he pulled her in his arms, "We won't be together physically but we have ways of seeing each other more and more. I won't let six months affect me cause I lost you for six years, this time will feel like a week when I see you again, not even that like a day cause every time I see you no matter how much time has passed it's like I just saw you and we pick up where we were and it's right and it's home and it's safe and it's love."

Mercedes smiled and leaned up to kiss him softly he groaned and she pulled away, "I'm sorry..." She pecked his lip and he chuckled, the stepped away from him so he could get dressed for bed and his phone lite up on the desk, Sam looked at it and chuckled then tossed it to Mercedes, she looked at the message and giggled before typing out while saying, "Sorry Puckster we're going to bed now and promise no hanky panky tonight so rest up... thanks for the MXC challenge." She sent it and put Sam's phone down on his nightstand as he finished getting undressed and looked at her, "What?"

He tilted his head, "MXC challenge? I didn't know you like that show."

She giggled, "It's pretty funny actually."

He nodded and started for the bathroom, "I'm going to shower but I won't be long just relax ok?"

The water started and Mercedes sat for a little bit but she couldn't she knew what to do and got up out of bed and took off her sleep clothes and walked into the bathroom. She bit her lip and heard him under the water as she pulled the curtain back and stepped in behind him and watched the water run down his back, he washed out his hair and reached for his soap and rinsed while lathering up, as he got his neck and underarms and chest she saw the suds going down his back from his neck and started to massage his shoulders. Sam sighed, "I kind of hoped you'd join me."

She smiled and he handed her the soap as she got his back, "I can't stay away..."

He shut his eyes and enveloped himself in the feeling of her touch smiling at the end of a very long night.

No truer words were spoken...

Their shower wasn't fast but it wasn't slow either, they washed each other and when they were finished dried and climbed into bed. Sam rested on his back and Mercedes snuggled against his chest and sighed running her hand up and down his chest. He smiled, "What you thinking about?"

She bit her lip and smiled, truth whole truth, "The first time you showed up to my house something like this and what I didn't say about it...

Mercedes sat in her room listening to music, not really doing anything important. It was spring break, one week of no school and she only had to work two days that week so some money for her efforts. The clocked ticked on the wall and she glanced at her checking the time, just after eight thirty. She turned the volume down hearing the faint sound of a car pulling up and someone getting out then talking. She couldn't make out exactly what was being said but she was sure they were in front of her house. A small glimmer of hope appeared that maybe her father was home early from his trip. As much as she tried to fake it she really did want him to be around more but he worked to provide for her and that meant long trips away and she was a big girl now so she could take care of herself. At sixteen she realized daddy wouldn't come home early so she pushed the thoughts out of her mind and stood up to see who was there. Maybe someone lost and looking for directions, her room wasn't in the front of the house so no lights were on except a small one by the front door, which would make someone think the owners would be home soon. Once she got to the top of the stairs she heard the keys in her door.

It wasn't a her father that left one person, only one other person aside from herself had keys to the house and that was...

Sam... opened the door and stumbled in causing her to gasp from the top of the stairs and him look up at her. She had a little light on by the door, and saw perfectly his face was bloody and his clothes were torn. His knuckles were bruised and his jaw looked a little swollen. He looked up at her and gave an attempt at a small smile but reached for his jaw which hurt like hell. She was down the stairs and at his side instantly.

He couldn't go home not in his condition and knew she'd let him stay with minimal questions. His parents would freak and want to call the cops or take him to the hospital, it was not that bad just the equivalent of playing football with no pads and still being full contact. Mercedes helped him into the living room and on the couch. Once he sat down she watched him reach for his side and grit his teeth. Spinning on the ball of her feet she turned to get the first aid kit and ice. Sam had to smile at her efforts his best friend never failed to amaze him.

Her heart was big and sometimes she show concern for him far beyond what normal friends would call caring. She was an angel. Once she returned she started with his hands and cleaned his knuckles off and silently motioned for him to put the ice on his face. One hand after the other she discovered once the blood was gone it wasn't so bad. She sat on the coffee table and cleaned out the cuts and put a band-aid or two on his hands then moved to stand and pushed his shoulder to get him to lay down. Her eyes were worried but she kept her questions to herself for now just wanting to get him comfortable. He sighed happy she could once again give him space enough to not explain himself.

Once on his back she started with his face as she knelt beside him and touched him gently, taking a towel and water and cleaning off his face. He shut his eyes and pursed his lips together, ready for the pain that never came. She knew how to touch him and not make it worse. It was nice. She watched his face as she wiped away the floor and her best friend started to shine through again. Her feelings for him were skyrocketing and if this was someone else she'd lean in and press a soft kiss to his battered face and promise to find who did this, after she found out what happened of course. Clearly someone did a number on him but if he could walk in her house he did his own share of work she was sure. That saying, 'You should see the other guy.' Might apply here.

She moved to his neck and wiped at his neck getting some dirt and dried blood off then turned to get something else to wipe it off she placed her hand on his chest closer to his side and pressed slightly, he let out a hiss and wrapped his hand around her wrist to relieve some pressure. She pulled away completely and tugged at his shirt. Sam lifted up knowing if he fought her she'd make it difficult for him because the worry was all over her face now. He assisted her and got his shirt off, the sight caused Mercedes to cover her mouth and gasp, his whole side was purple and red with shades of pink on the far outer areas. She bit her lip and didn't look him in the eyes just got up and rushed to get more ice. He worried she was upset and got up to check on her. He didn't want to upset her, he was fine really just needed to get cleaned up and rest and he'd be good as new.

She was trembling as she filled the big zip lock bag with ice and searched for a towel to wrap it in, she stopped when he placed his hands over hers. She looked at her knuckles then slowly her eyes traveled up to his face. With his shirt off and battered and bruised he was still the sexiest man she'd ever seen, he was still perfect in her eyes and for a moment Sam saw that.

For his flaws and need to be perfect for everyone, he didn't have to try with her. It was how they worked. It was how they fit so well together.

Her voice broke his trance, "Sammy?" It was scared and trembling, he sighed and turned away, he felt like he let her down. He was supposed to be the strong one and here he was bloody and bruised from fighting and she looked at him and he felt weak. She bit her lip and followed him back in the living room with the ice, once he lay down again she put the towel on his chest and the ice on top of that, but he moved the towel and placed the ice directly on his chest and gritted his teeth at the feeling. She shook her head and tried to move it but he growled, "No it's fine leave it." He slowly let out a breath. She pulled her hand away and finished up with cleaning him and making sure nothing else needed care.

Without a word she stood and cleaned up after herself and left coming back with a glass of water and a bottle of ibuprofen, she set it down, "For the swelling... I'm gonna head to bed Sammy. Come up when you're ready." She leaned in very close, dangerously close for her and kissed his forehead, after she brushed the hair straightening it out and stood up straight to leave, he silently nodded but somehow she knew and went up stairs.

Sam lay on the couch for a bit heard her in the bathroom washing her face and getting ready for bed, once her foot steps stopped he knew she was in bed and he groaned and stood up talking the homemade ice pack and putting it in the freezer and taking the towel and wiping off his chest. He slipped off his shoes by the door made sure the door was locked and went up the stairs.

Mercedes lay in bed with her back facing the window and sighed, she left the door open and Sam sometimes moved so quietly she missed his entrances but she felt the bed dip behind her and him settle in but she didn't move she couldn't look at him the tears threatening to fall would surely come tumbling down, she was just worried that he was hurt and didn't know what had happened he sighed and his voice was soft and comforting, "Some guys from the team were hanging out and Mike, Tina and me went to chill before I was coming here. The other guys from another team a couple towns over showed up and started some trash talk, it was no big deal till one of them threw a punch and most of the guys jumped in, I didn't want to really fight Mike got pulled in and told me to protect Tina, some guy got thrown into her and knocked her down and I lost it and punched him the next then I know there's like four of them on me and like three on Mike and Tina was trying to jump in, it got out of control but no one got too badly hurt. Mike took me home and my car is at his house, Tina said she'd bring it over tomorrow. But I'm ok... I promise I just needed to be here tonight and not... I just needed to be near you."

She sighed and bit her lip and wiped the tear coming out of the corner of her eye. Mercedes rolled over and looked at him and her mouth fidgeted with the words she wanted to say but didn't as she opened up slowly, "Ok..." She smiled and too his hand and held it drifting off to sleep. He was ok, Tina was ok and Mike was ok, everything was just ok.

Sam sighed, "You wanted to yell at me that night didn't you?" She shrugged and bit her lip, "I didn't have too many nights like that thankfully. I promise and every time something like that happened I came to you because if you found out later..."

She hit him lightly, "I'd have your ass for it." He chuckled and they settled into bed the morning light was coming out and they needed to get some sleep Mercedes sighed, " I just hate to see you like this and I wasn't there to help you, but then again I think I'd make it worse if I was there so maybe it's a good thing I am the one you come to when you're hurt like this."

He put his hand over hers, "You're the one I come to when I'm in any kind of pain... even if you're the cause of it." She smiled sadly, because it was the same for her too.

She shut her eyes and took even breaths and smiled, "But tomorrow try to talk to Puck and stop being so jealous of him. My heart beats Sam Evans every second of everyday." He smiled and moved her hand over his heart and let her hear the Mercedes song playing inside.