'We've been over the water twice, Bats. He's not there.' Said Arthur, his tattooed arms crossed over his chest. They had beamed to the Watch Tower after a few hours of searching and found Batman using the League's tech to search for the missing boy.
'You're sure?' said Batman, glancing away from the screen of his computer momentarily to acknowledge the king of Atlantis.
'We're sure.'
Bruce's relief was only momentary. This news meant Dick wasn't dead, but there was now the question of where the hell was he? He was going through security footage, but it was like finding a needle in a city-sized haystack. Facial recognition wasn't working, but that didn't surprise him. The Titans said Dick always wore a cap when he went running, that along with his covered eyes would hinder the tech. He'd tried tracking his son's bike, but he had deactivated the tracker.
Bruce groaned quietly, as he went through more footage. He had taught the boy to disappear too well.
'What do you need Bruce?' asked Aquaman. It was true when he and Bruce had first met, they hadn't really hit it off. But Bruce had changed after he'd adopted Dick. Arthur knew how much the bat loved his son, and he could see how much this was tearing the man apart. Plus, he was fond of Robin, the whole league was! If there was anything, he could do to help him, he would do it.
'If I could just find his bike, I could narrow down the security footage to follow.'
'Isn't one of the Titans a shapeshifter?' said Clark.
'Yes?' said Batman.
'Can't he…sniff it out?'
Bruce thought about this for a few seconds. Why hadn't he thought of that? With Dick in such a vulnerable state, he had been unable to think straight himself. He picked up his communicator and called the Titan's asking them to head out into the City again and see if they could track Robin's cycle. He could tell that the teenagers were a little confused as to why finding Robin's bike would help; they were still new to the game. But they were also too intimidated by the Batman to question him. When he had hung up the call to the teen heroes, he brought out his own phone and tried calling Dick again.
'Sorry, can't come to the phone,' Dick's voice rang out. 'You know what to do.' This time he left a message.
'Dick, it's me. Listen. I know you're having a hard time and I know you don't want a repeat of four years ago. But please, call me. Let me know you are alright. We can work this out.'
When he hung up the phone, his shoulders sagged. No one had told him when he had wanted to adopt Dick that being a parent would have challenges like this. No one had told him he would love another human being in the way he loved his son. His heart was physically hurting for worry.
'Do you want me to scan the rooftops?' asked Clark, seeing his friend's pain.
'No, we need to stay discrete.' Said Batman, trying to regain composure.
'But, surely…'
'No,' Batman turned to face the man of steel. 'If Dick is having another breakdown, he will be skittish. If he sees you, he might run. And if he's having an episode of mania…who knows what he might do.'
'Did Dick show any signs of…' Clark trailed off, he knew Bruce would understand what he meant.
'He's become very good at hiding just how bad he is feeling. I knew he was struggling, but I didn't realise it was this bad.' Batman admitted.
'I don't get why he would run?' asked Arthur, brushing a hand through his long hair that was still damp from his time in the water.
Batman sighed and seemed to be weighing up whether the information was important enough to divulge. He seemed to decide it was.
'When Dick had his first break down, four years ago, Dinah and I decided it would be in his best interest to medicate him. He was a danger to himself.'
'I remember.' Said Clark.
'Dick reacted badly to the medication. In the beginning, he was very sick. To the point, I thought I needed to take him to the hospital. He was weak, disorientated, he was so sick he was becoming dehydrated. Alfred and I spent hours sat on the bathroom floor with him.'
Clark's expression told the Atlantian that he hadn't known this information before today. He asked the Dark Knight why he had kept the boy on them.
'Dinah had insisted the sickness would pass. And after a few weeks, it did. But they made Dick a hollow shell of himself. We'd had to put him on sedatives to reduce the risk of manic episodes. Dick was like a ghost. Slowly, as he worked with Dinah, we lowered the dose until he was fine again.'
The other heroes waited patiently for the Bat to finish his story.
'After the incident with Ivy and Bane, Dinah and our doctor prescribed him more medication but didn't push him to take them. Every time I mentioned them, Dick would shut down. I think he was a little scarred from the previous time he was on them. That's why he ran, he thought I would force him back on them.'
'Would you?' Arthur asked curiously.
'I don't want too. But if Dick is a danger to himself, I will do what I need too to protect him.' He looked out of the window at the earth, far below the Watch Tower. 'Dick's problem is he refuses to accept or admit he isn't alright. He represses until he breaks.'
The other two heroes gave each other a shared look which Batman caught. 'And yes, I am aware he gets that from me.'
'What will you do when we find him.' Said Clark, using the word when and not if.
'I don't' know Clark. Until he is willing to accept there is a problem and until he understands he needs help, I really don't know what to do.'
OoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOo
Slade watched as the boy before him played with his pasta. He was unnervingly quiet. Slade wasn't used to eating with a teenager when they were this still, even Joey would sign animatedly while he ate.
'Something on your mind?' he asked the boy as he approached the end of his own meal.
Dick shrugged, there was plenty on his mind. And in truth, Slade had been right, he really didn't care what the man thought of him. Which meant he didn't feel the need to act like a normal human being. He didn't feel like talking, so he didn't.
'You know, starving yourself is probably making your depression worse.' Slade mused, saying it in a tone that was not aggressive or accusing. He was simply making a statement.
'I'm not…' Dick cut off. Who the hell was he trying to fool? Slade had already diagnosed him as passively suicidal.
They finished their meal in silence, as they were clearing the dishes Slade looked down at his young charge.
'We're going to have to contact your father pretty soon.' He said, testing the waters.
As predicted, Dick tensed.
'What do you mean?'
'It won't be long before he sees the footage from the subway, if he hasn't already. We need to let him know that you are alive and safe.'
Dick said nothing, putting his complete focus on drying the plate in his hands; he was beginning to hate doing the dishes.
'I'm sure he is beside himself with worry,' Slade continued. 'I know I would be if one of my kids went missing.'
Dick seemed to perk up slightly at this information.
'You have kids?'
'Three. Two boys and a girl.'
'How old are they?' asked Dick, placing the plate back in the cupboard and picking up a glass.
'They are grown now, have lives of their own.' Said Slade, carefully wording his answers.
'How do they feel about your line of work?'
'They work with me from time to time.' Not that his wife…ex-wife agreed with this. Dick absorbed this information and they went quiet again for a few minutes.
'Was it obvious?' Dick said quietly.
'What?'
The boy swallowed. 'That I was about to step in front of the train? Was it obvious?'
'Pretty obvious, yes. You literally looked like you were just going to step off the platform.'
Dick closed his eyes and sucked in a breath. No matter whether Bruce believed Wally's recounting of the incident on the bridge. When Bruce saw that footage there would be no doubt in his mind that his son was once again a danger to himself.
'Richard?'
The air had been sucked from his lungs again as he thought about what Bruce would do. Slade was right, Bruce would be beside himself. There would be no more compromises, no more deals. Bruce would take back control, and he would be forced back into numbness. Surely feeling this overwhelming darkness was better than simply feeling nothing!
'Dick, breathe!' Slade's hands were on his shoulders and Dick flinched as he came back to the room, realising he couldn't fill his lungs with air. Slade guided him back to his chair and forced him to sit.
'Dick, look at me. I want you to put one hand on your chest and the other on your stomach.' Despite this sounding like a request, the older man lightly helped guide his hands to the requested position. 'Now, I want you to take a deep breath, in for 4 seconds and then breathe it out for 6. I want you to make your stomach rise first and then your chest. Feel your body move under your hands.'
Dick concentrated on the instructions he had been given, forcing his stomach to rise under his palm, followed by his chest, counting in his head up to 4 and then letting his chest and then his stomach fall again as he counted to 6. He did this again and again until he could finally do it with ease. But he didn't stop until Slade released his shoulders.
'Do you often have panic attacks?' Slade asked gently.
Slowly, Dick nodded. 'These days.'
'Since when?'
'The last year.'
'Is that when it happened?'
Dick's eyes shot up. No. Surely, Slade hadn't worked it out as well!
'I've seen a lot of things in my life, Richard. I've seen people act the way you do, and I know why.'
Dick looked away. He wanted to cry.
'Were you Robin at the time?' Slade pushed slightly.
Dick waited for a beat and then shook his head.
'Was it just once?' Slade knew this question didn't matter, even if it had only happened once it didn't take away how traumatic the event had been. But he wanted to know what he was working with. His heart clenched when he saw the boy bite his lip and then again shake his head.
'How long before Batman saved you?'
Dick's face dropped, and pain filled his features. He opened his mouth to speak but only a strange sob came out. He took a breath and tried again.
'Batman didn't come. Neither did Bruce.' He said in a whisper. 'I saved myself.'
'How long?'
'Three days.'
'Where was Wayne?' Anger was boiling in Slade. Sure, he knew he wasn't exactly on the right side of the law, but he would never harm a child. He knew a lot of people who committed crime's thought the same way. To do such an act to a child was disgusting, and even in the criminal underworld, it was taboo.
'There had been a plan to separate us. To infiltrate Bruce Wayne. It worked.'
'Who?' said Slade, trying to hide his anger. He would put a bullet between their eyes.
But Dick shook his head, he had said enough.
'Whatever happened, it wasn't your fault. You know that right?'
Dick nodded, but darkness crept into his eyes. Slade decided that it was best to let the subject lie for the moment.
'I put a block in your phone while you were sleeping.' Said Slade, pulling the device from his pocket. The screen was a little cracked from when Dick had hit the floor in the subway. 'You can make a call without being tracked.'
Dick just stared at the device, his hands clenched on his knees.
'I can't' he said, knowing what the older man wanted him to do. 'I can't talk to him, not like this.'
'He needs to know that you're safe. When he sees me on the security footage, he's going to think the worst.'
Dick just shook his head, still refusing to take the phone.
'I can't.'
Slade could see the shakes return to the boys' shoulders, his breath coming in uneven pants again as another attack threatened.
'Okay, I'll work something out.'
Dick took a deep breath. 'I'm pathetic, I know.'
'No, you're not.' Slade put the phone in his back-pocket ad bent back down to the youngers eye level. 'You have been through something that no one should have to go through, let alone someone your age. You are a fighter and don't let anyone tell you otherwise.'
Dick looked at him in gratitude. This was something everyone had been telling him since Bane's attack, but for some reason, coming from Slade, he believed him.
'Take the computer to the bedroom and get on with your studies. I'll handle your father.'
Without further comment, Dick stood and went towards the sleeping quarters, grabbing the laptop from the side as he went. When the door shut, Slade pulled the phone out once again. He keyed in the passcode (which admittedly had taken him a little time to hack through, the kid knew what he was doing when it came to security) and looked through his contacts. The majority of his contacts were just letters or initials. A, BG, KF, MM, SB, Z. The only real names in the contact list were, Alf, Dr L and Dad.
Selecting the contact, he presumed was Bruce Wayne, he held the phone to his ear. A panicked voice answered the phone, a voice that Slade instantly recognised as the man he was hoping for.
'Dick, are you alright, where are you?' Bruce asked.
'Mr Wayne I believe we need to talk.'
A/N: Sorry for the delay! I hope you enjoy this chapter! Please review - Karin x
