Disclaimer – I do not own Yu-Gi-Oh!

*Rated T for Teen (Unless Otherwise Noted)


Author's Note – We're in the United States for this one.

DO NOT DO ANYTHING WRITTEN IN THIS FIC! IT IS DANGEROUS!

The ninth genre challenge Reizbar-Ookami has given me is…HUMOR!


Humor (Rated T)

"Hell no. We are not having a celebration of any kind at my mansion!" Seto hissed through his teeth as he eyed the unexpected guests in his foyer. An Independence Day celebration with the geek squad and their evil counterparts? No way in hell.

Joey groaned in aggravation. "Come on. It'll be fine."

"No."

"It's not like anythin' bad is gonna happen."

"Do you really believe that?"

Joey paused. "…no. But I got 9-1-1 on speed dial."

"You have—never mind. The answer is still no."

"But everyone's already here!" the blond whined as he bounced up and down. "I'll keep a close eye on everyone."

"Fine. But if someone dies, it's on your head," Seto stated as he walked away.

"That was easier than I thought."


He shouldn't have agreed to this. Why the hell did he agree to this?

"What the fuck are you three doing?" Seto deadpanned as he spotted Yami, Bakura, and Marik hovering over the barbeque grill.

"We're going to make a fire!" Marik responded happily.

Yami cleared his throat. "Actually, we're going to try our hand at barbequing."

"With fire?" Seto replied.

Yami hesitated. "You can do it without?" he asked, eyeing the barbeque grill suspiciously.

Seto pinched the bridge of his nose. "That's not what I meant. I mean—oh, forget it. Try not to burn the vicinity down," he muttered as he wandered away. He didn't wander too far, though, just in case he had to—you know—put out a fire.

He watched as Bakura dumped a pile of coals in the center of the grill, then he took a step back when he saw Marik dowse the pile in charcoal lighter. Lots and lots of charcoal lighter. This wasn't going to end well. He could tell.

Next Yami took a lighter and set fire to the coal. It lit up, as well as his hand.

"Hot!" Yami yelled as he danced around the grill as if he were performing some sort of tribal dance.

"Idiot," Seto mumbled under his breath.

Suddenly, the flame on the coals went out. Yami, Bakura, and Marik all leaned over the barbeque grill, confused as to why the fire had disappeared. And then Marik did something he would never forget.

Seto stared wide-eyed when Marik squeezed more charcoal lighter of the seemingly dead coals, only to have the center erupt like a volcano, singing the three unsuspecting victims.

"Crap!"

"Fuck that's hot!"

"My eyebrows are gone!"

"What? Mine too!"

"My hair! My beautiful hair!"

"Idiots," Seto muttered as he walked off.


"Guys, don't!" Joey pleaded.

"What the hell is going on now?" Seto snapped.

The blond jumped nearly ten feet in the air. "Seto! Uh—"

"We're going to light him up!" crowed Bakura.

"…excuse me?" stated Seto. His eyes quickly panned the area until they landed on Yami, who was fast asleep on a lawn chair. And were those…sparklers in his hair? It made him look like the Statue of Liberty or something.

"You're going to light the sparklers?" questioned Seto.

Bakura and Marik nodded vigorously.

"Go ahead."

"What?" Joey screeched.

"Shh! Do you want to wake him up?" growled Bakura. "Come on. Let's go."

Joey watched in shock while Seto appeared quite eager as Marik and Bakura approached Yami. Taking a lighter, they lit each of the sparklers.

As soon as the snap, crackle, and pop began, Yami woke. He shot up in his chair in shock, at first, until he realized the loud noises were coming from his hair.

"I'm on fire! Help!" he screamed at the top of his lungs.

Suddenly, a whir of something whizzed past Seto. When he realized it was Joey with a fire extinguisher, he was a bit displeased that Yami's tantrum would be short-lived. However, seeing Yami blasted by a fire extinguisher was well worth the initial displeasure.


"What the hell is going on out there?" Seto inquired when he spotted Joey rooted to his spot in the doorway that led to the front yard. The sun had finally set, which only meant the fireworks would be set off shortly.

"Tryin' not to get killed," responded the blond, looking petrified.

Seto peered over Joey's shoulder and immediately whipped out his cell as soon as he saw what was about to take place. He dialed 9-1-1 just as Bakura lit a piece of rolled-up newspaper and tossed it into a box of fireworks.

"Where's everyone else?" Seto asked quickly as he waited for someone to respond to his call.

"They…kinda ran off down the street as soon as they saw the fireworks," Joey replied quietly.

"SHUT THE DOOR! SHUT THE DOOR!" Seto cried as a firework came hurling at them. He slammed the door shut and knocked Joey to the ground, covering him. Booms, screeches, and screams were the only things that could be heard from the outside.

"This was such a bad idea!" whimpered Joey.

"You just realized this now?" seethed the brunet.

"Hey! Ya said it was okay!"

"I didn't say it was okay to blow up the city!"

"They're not gonna blow up the city!"

BOOM!

"The mansion just shook! It shook, Joey!"

"Okay. So maybe they might blow up the city."

"If I get killed by a firework, I'm going to murder you."

"Seto, if you're dead, how can ya kill me."

"…shut up."

"You said it, not me."

"Being around you makes me stupid."

"Obviously. Who let those guys get fireworks?"

"You did."

"…oh. Well, why didn't ya stop me?"

BOOM! BOOM!

"As I said before, being around you makes me stupid."

"Stupidly in love?"

"Don't even think about kissing me now with fireworks going on. That's just too cliché."

"Well, screw you then."

"Maybe later, but definitely the other way around. Right now, I'd rather just survive the night."

BOOM! BOOM! BOOM!


End