Whole Again.

"Good morning," he greeted her with a smile.

"Morning…" she coughed.

He really should stop doing that if she had any hope of preparing breakfast. Adalind struggled to contain her blush from standing behind the stove, dropping her gaze to the pancake mixture slowly cooking in the pan. After touching down on American soil, it immediately became apparent to Adalind that she had no place to go. All her escape plans in Vienna fell through before she could set aside some money for herself and Diana and Viktor almost killing her hampered her movements much more than she had realised, prompting Nick to invite her and Diana to stay with him, at least until she got back onto her feet. Adalind didn't know how to respond to such a gesture coming from him of all people. She still hadn't reconciled with the fact that he did come for her and she was afraid to ask him why.

He gave up his bedroom for them and fashioned himself a bedroom in the cove section of the loft to the left of the elevator. Adalind couldn't help feeling a little guilt for imposing on him when he had every right to hate her and kick her out. He probably did it for Diana' sake seeing as Adalind had no resources and was still too weak to find full time work and still keep Diana safe and hidden from those who'd come for her, seeking the power she possessed and to use it nefariously. After a whole month of Nick's kindness and patients with her moods and short tempers, she honestly couldn't see herself anywhere else but that loft and it helped that every morning she got a front row seat to a sexy, dripping wet Nicholas Burkhardt with nothing on but a towel to stoke the fires within.

The first thing they did when reaching Portland was take Adalind to see a doctor, Nick had been worried about her condition since finding her in Viktor's dungeon. Adalind did a battery of tests, a physical exam, MRIs, EEG among others. To her surprise, she was given a clean bill of health but was given a warning to take it easy because of clear signs of exhaustion but how?

How could months of excruciating pain and Viktor's torturous invasive of her mind not have affected her even to a little extent? The fact that it was magic-based didn't mean the physical symptoms weren't there, she had felt every pain and at time felt she was dying and almost did if Diana and Nick hadn't found her when they did. It was no question; Viktor would have killed her in her weakened state or would have died in her child's arms, a thought that sent a chill down her spine.

"Why are you being so nice to me?" She asked him, they were driving back from her last visit to the doctor.

She'd been too caught up I her emotions and curiosity had gotten the best of her. She didn't understand him and even though a very big part of her was appreciative of all his efforts to make things easy for her and Diana, It was hard to trust that it was all there was to it. She trusted Sean, he threw her out. She trusted Viktor to honour his word but he was only using her for his purposes. She couldn't imagine Nick being nice to her for the sake of being nice. There had to be catch.

"You should hate me. I'm the reason you're not a Grimm anymore and maybe even dying."

"Everybody dies sometime." He said flippantly.

"I'm being serious Nick."

"Alright…for one thing, I did the same thing to you first."

"…But that was because I went after Hank. You were only trying to save your friend."

"…And you were trying to get Diana back after I stole her from you." he added without any hint of sarcasm.

"So just like that, all is forgiven?" she asked him frankly.

"Honestly, I don't know. You did terrible things. I did terrible things. Let's call it even."

She had been surprised at his candour.

"Don't you believe me?" he asked her.

"It's not that I don't want to but trust no longer comes naturally to me. I have made so many mistakes and bad choices because I let others lead me. I'm not trying to make excuses for my actions; I know that I have hurt you badly. If I had known what Viktor's real intentions were, I wouldn't have agreed to take your powers."

"You think I wasn't angry after I realised I wasn't a Grimm anymore? Oh I was angry, that and so much more. But these past several months, with everything else going on…let's just say my eyes have been enlightened. I think I saw things clearly for the first time. Hm…now I sound like one of those gift shop post cards. When you've got nothing but time to do some introspection, it's not so hard to see the other side. Plus there were other factors, I think."

"Yeah…do you mind telling me?"

"I think when I've rapped my head around them, I promise you will be the first person I tell." He said and sent sweet chills down her spine.

Another interesting development was how the headaches had all but disappeared. Nick assumed it had something to do with being close to one another. It made sense, too much sense. It was a theory neither was willing to test but they both knew their arrangement was temporary. Adalind's strength had returned slowly but surely and the more awkward they became around one another and the reality of her moving was impossible to ignore. Neither Nick nor Adalind brought it up but it hung in the air like a thick cloud.

She didn't want to leave and Diana had begun to settle and on the occasion she caught him gazing at her, Adalind could have sworn he wasn't in any rush to be rid of her either. They quickly developed a pattern between the three of them she didn't want to disturb, something as simple as having meal together or listening to him as he talked about his day, it was impossible not to cling to those moments and want them to last forever. It was on the evening after tucking Diana in bed and Nick had finished his story about a particularly violent criminal he'd apprehended earlier that day that a thought crossed her mind but kept it to herself.

After he joined them for breakfast, Adalind couldn't help staring at his outward perfection and blushed profusely as a result. She crossed her legs as a distraction but that only made matters worse as her senses became even more heighted. He was simply too beautiful and her body reacted accordingly but she had to stop herself before she went past the point of no return.

"I hope you ladies slept well last night?"

"We did, thank you." She said as she raised her chin to meet his eye him but the blueish protrusion beneath his left eye knocked the wind out of her sails.

"What happened to you face?" She asked him visibly shocked.

"Oh you mean this? It's nothing plus I told you about it last night. You should see the other guy." He said nonchalantly as he flipped through the morning's paper.

Adalind wasn't mollified. Now in the light of day, she couldn't pretend everything was alright.

"Nick, can I ask you something? You can tell me to mind my own business if you want."

"Okay, shoot…."

"Don't you miss being a Grimm? I ask because I don't ever remember you bringing it up." She added.

"Do I miss being a Grimm? Yeah, I do." He said sincerely.

"How come you haven't said anything this whole time? I remember when I lost my powers, I couldn't think of anything else except how to get them back. I remember feeling empty for a very long time because I thought I'd lost a part of myself tha made me…me. I did things that I am not proud of to get them…." She said as she watched Diana play with her cereal.

"If you had a choice to go back, would you do it all over again?" He said with understanding.

"There are days when I regret nothing."

"…But there are other days when you regret everything?"

"Precisely that." She said, surprised at his insight but their situations were vastly different. Adalind had reaped the rewards of her actions and Nick wasn't exactly an innocent bystander but she was the instigator of too much of their bitter and violent history.

"Let me help you." She said.

"Help me what?"

"Let me help you get your Grimm back. I'm sure there's a way There's always a way, every curse can be reversed."

She didn't mean to sound too excited but once the seed planted in her mind, it sprout roots which dug down deep until the little shoot came forth from the ground. In this case, she determined to make that seed grow, she determined to help him, it was the least she could do for him and right her some mistakes at the same time. Plus the thought of him coming home broken and bruised because of some wesen with an axe to grind with the former Grimm made her heart flutter erratically with fear. She'd never forgive herself if Nick found himself on the losing end of a dangerous encounter with so many enemies around him. It was her fault she robbed him of his powers, it was now up to her to help him get them back.

"You want to reverse the curse?" he said slowly, almost like he was reticent of the whole idea.

"You don't sound like you actually want your powers back. Do you want me to help you become a Grimm again?"

"You don't know what asking me?" He said in a pained voice.

"Okay, now I'm confused. You just told me you miss it and I'm offering to help. You're acting like I'm offering you half all of my organs. If you're worried about what the reversal spell is, I'm sure whatever it is, is nowhere close to being as nasty and disgusting as what I went through to become a hexenbiest again."

"That may be but what if there are additional consequences reversing the spell? It's too much of a risk."

"What could possibly be worse than you getting your Grimm sight back" She asked still confused by his hesitation.

"I can't…I mean we can't risk it, at the very least can we talk about this later when I get back? Today is my first day back, no more desk duty and I can't afford to think about this right now."

"Is there something you're not telling me because this is how I expected you'd react?"

"I just have too much on my plate right now. It means a lot to me that you want to do this for me."

"Of course, I lo…" She caught herself before making yet another big mistake. And Nick didn't seem to notice the shocked pallor as he cleared his plate and grabbed his gun and badge.

"We'll talk more about this tonight," He said before kissing the top of her much to her surprise.

"I am going to hold you to that." She said as he got into the elevator and watched the door roll shut.

*/*/*

"Let me get this straight. The woman who stole powers, and the only one within a hundred mile radius who can bring them back is offering to help you become a Grimm again and you're having second thought? Huh? I don't get it. What's the problem man?" Monroe questioned him.

"Nothing. Everything!" he said in frustration. "What is wrong with me?"

"Do you want an honest answer?"

Nick was at the spice shop, an emergency pit stop before heading to the station like he'd told Adalind.

"No.." Nick said blandly.

"Well I'm going to give it to you anyway, my 2c if you will."

"You have feelings for her, like real feelings."

"No, it's the side effects from the spell. Remember Juliette and Renard? Well, this is no different. Henrietta said just as much…."

"Henrietta doesn't know everything. I'm sure that story of the hexenbiest and the Grimm happened but we don't know what really happened to them after the spell. It's all hearsay and speculation, these stories tend to be embellished over time and this is one of the oldest and I'm sure someone must have thought it would be pretty cool to add a little spice to it. Who's to say that the Grimm didn't hack Margarete's head as he took his dying breath?"

"That's really not funny." Nick said, unimpressed with the imagery.

"Sorry." His friend apologised.

"How do you explain everything that has happened since? Monroe, when she was in Vienna, I literally felt her, like she was a part of me. I felt everything she felt and I really mean everything. For months we've lived in each other's head. There were times when I didn't know where I ended and she began, like our minds were one, bonded, literally."

"So what, you are afraid of is that even though you have these feelings, you think they are false?"

"Well…yeah." Nick finally breathed as Monroe put words to his confusion.
"Do you think she feels the same way?"

"I'm sure of it but then it can't be any more real than what I feel. Just this morning she almost told me she loved me. And I kissed her."

"Woah!"

"…Not on the lips but it was the first time we were more than cordial with one another, not since your wedding day."

"That's heavy man."

That's what I'm trying to tell you. There's simply no way what we feel for each other is real."

"How can you be so sure? What happened with Renard and Juliette wasn't consequences of a spell, it was the whole point of the spell. And you said it yourself that there's connection between you and Adalind. It's what saved you both," said Rosalee as she stopped unpacking boxes of spice bottles.

"No again, that was my blood mixed with Adalind's that probably saved us."

"But how did she get your blood into her system in the first place? We told you what you needed to do to save Hank's life that night but it was you who chose to kiss Adalind. Nick there were a million things you could have done that night but you choose…."

This gave him pause. He remembered berating himself for that kiss when it wasn't necessary.

"Nick, have you perhaps considered that it's because your feelings are real that you now have a problem with using Adalind to get your Grimm sight back?" Rosalee asked him.

"I never thought of that." He said but he wasn't encouraged.

"Does she even know how to reverse the spell, I mean have you told her?"

"God no, why else do you think I'm here. I don't know what to do. Adalind found the spell in her mother's belongings, she barely understood half of it but it did everything it was supposed to.

"Not exactly everything." Rosalee pointed out.

"All I know is that I don't want to hurt her, what if she reverses the spell and…"

"…The feelings between you two go away? Then you were right and we were wrong. Then you will finally be able to let her go and live your life free of Adalind."

Monroe's words felt like a swift kick to the gut. He didn't like hearing them at all. It's taken him this long but he didn't want to be free of Adalind, not anymore. He went back to when he'd faced the same choice but with Juliette, the life of a Grimm or a normal life with the woman in his life? Unfortunately for Nick, his was friends only muddled the water even more. He thanked them for trying to help him, bid them goodbye and headed to the station. He realised the only thing he could do was be honest with Adalind and let the chips fall where they may.

He returned to the loft much later than he had hoped. The entire loft was dark except for the spot light over the kitchen. His dinner was in the oven. Nick found Adalind asleep on the couch, no doubt tired from waiting for him to get home. He thought of letting her sleep but knew he couldn't put off their morning conversation any longer than he did. He sat down at the foot of the couch placed him hand above her hip and gently shook her, rousing her from sleep.

"You're home," she yawned.

"Yeah, sorry I'm late. It's been a rough and long day at the station."

"Bad case?" she raised herself and plopped her feet on the floor between his legs.

"Yeah but I don't want to talk about that now…we need to finish this morning's conversation. You asked me a question and before I give you an answer, I have to be honest with you and who knows after that, you might…"

"I'm not going to change my mind." she said with determination.

That's not what he meant. There were two things that haunted Nick all of that day, Adalind misconstruing their current situation, and thinking he only invited her to stay with his so she could reverse the spell. He admitted he began looking for Adalind, wanting to bring her back to Portland for this exact purpose but too much changed between then and now. Nick had long since made his peace about living his life without his Grimm sight. The adjustment wasn't easy or quick but he was over that mountain finally. The second thing that worried him was the very real possibility of the spell doing away with his feelings. For someone who had been reluctant to let himself feel anything other than disdain and hatred for Adalind Schade, he'd finally immersed himself in those forbidden emotions and allowed himself to truly feel things he's honestly never felt before, not even once in his six year relationship with Juliette. And she was someone he once thought he had loved with all of his heart but the truth was he never did.

"What do you know about the spell that took my powers away?"

"Not much other than the headaches and the visions and apparently, we're supposed to be dead only we're not."

"…Nothing else?"

"Well I know that after each vision, I'd suffer peculiar mood swings sometimes for hours. I figured it was your emotions somehow being transplanted into me or something. And now the visions have stopped and it seems like so has everything else. I feel like myself again."

"What would you say if I told you that last part wasn't exactly true?"

"I'd ask you why."

"Okay, I'll start from the beginning…."

He told her everything, from the moment he went to see Henrietta, everything that she told him, about the ensuing connecting that would eventually lead to their deaths. Nick felt sick, hollow, like someone had sucked all the air out of his lungs as he watched Adalind's expression warring with all things he'd unloaded. It was obvious she'd been oblivious to the origin of the spell. He wondered if she'd ever have cursed him knowing all the consequences, As much as it pained him, he couldn't take back the words, nor would he want to. Adalind had to know the truth, no matter the probability of him losing everything he'd learnt to love as a result. If he truly loved her, he had to risk letting her go…another post card classic, when had his life become such a cliché? He thought bitterly.

"So the feelings that I have for you…that you have for me are a result of the spell? So none of this is real, is that what you're saying? That sounds crazy but then again I am sitting on your couch in your loft, so there must be merit to that," she said rigidly.

Nick could already feel her pulling away so instinctively he took one of her hands in both of his. It was the first time he'd touched her since the hotel in Mailberg and a bolt of electricity passed between them and their eyes met.

Adalind slowly pulled her hand away.

"That's not all. The spell can be reversed. I can get my Grimm back and no, no one has to die day to make it happen."

"Then why haven't you done it?"

He actually choked on his words.

"Ah, now it makes sense, why you came for me in Vienna. You needed me to reverse the spell?" her voice was curt.

It didn't take a blind man to see that she was hurt by this revelation but she stiffened her lip and held her head high, looking him squarely in the face.

"Yes." And with that one word he cursed himself for being the one to hurt her. "But that was in the beginning, I…" he floundered.

"It's okay Nick, I understand." Her lips trembled.

No it wasn't and no she didn't.

"You have to understand, the first time I wrote you that note, I was at my lowest. Captain had forced me behind a desk and I had wesen after me as word got out that I could see anymore. Monroe was almost killed and I thought death wasn't far off and so I sought you out but that was then. Things are different now, better…."

"Do you think things are different now?" she asked.

It cut him to her the doubt in her voice

"Don't you?"

"It doesn't matter what I think…" She turned away.

"…Well it matters to me because I love you damnit!" There, he'd said it.

"You don't love me, you only think you do. You said so yourself."

"I do love you." He argued, as he pulled her chin so she could see the sincerity in his eyes.

It wasn't lost to him how he'd switched sides suddenly. Adalind was merely repeating the same things he'd said to Monroe and Rosalee just that morning and it rubbed his insides raw to have them flung back in his face.

"Stop saying that." She said as she fought back the tears welling up in her eyes. Adalind pushed away from him, leaving him sitting by himself but Nick was on his feet real fast, took two strides and caught her by her wrist and walked around to face her.

"…And you love me too. I know you do. I see it in your eyes every time you look at me, in every smile and in every flush of your skin. You practically said just this morning."

And without wasting another second, Nick kissed her catching her by surprised. She resisted him, pushing hard against his chest but then he tasted her sweetness when she opened up her mouth to receive him. The hands that had fought against him just moments ago now clung to him desperately, pulling him closer to her. He was like a man dying of thirst and that had found the fountain of life, he drank deep its life giving waters, pushing against her for more until the couch stopped them in their tracks. He kissed her until they both ran out of breath and had no choice but to stop and take a second to breathe and nothing more before plunging once more in each other.

"I knew it was you, that day. I think I always knew." He said breathless the second time they pulled apart.

"Shhh! No more talking…." She said and felt her hands fumbling with his belt buckle.

Adalind unzipped his pants, slipping one hand inside. Nick nearly came right there so he pulled her hands away from him and led her across the floor, to his room, away from a sleeping Diana. He was already aching for her touch. Adalind lay on his bed and lifted her shirt overhead, exposing her herself to him. God she was beautiful, he thought. Nick knelt at the foot of the bed as he watched Adalind call to him. He then removed his own clothing at lightning speed. Adalind actually giggled as he peppered her neck and shoulders with kisses. When he looked up at her, her smiles and laughter waned. She pulled him to her lips, kissing him softly.

"Just for one night, tonight, then tomorrow, everything goes back to normal."

"It doesn't have to." He told her and he actually meant it which was quite cathartic for him.

"I've made my decision Nick. Tomorrow, we're reversing my curse, undoing one of my many mistakes. You get to be whole again." She said with a finality he shattered him.

"Now kiss me…." She was saying goodbye and for good and it hurt like hell.

That night, former Grimm Nick Burkhardt gave himself completely to Adalind Schade, a hexenbiest and he wouldn't have it any other way. They made the sweetest love, so pure and perfect. She held him tight against her. He lost himself so deep within her. He couldn't get enough of her, of her arms, of her kisses. He called her name, "Adalind," over and over and over, like she was his drug and he wanted more of her.

They came together like the rolling of thunder in a storm. They slumped together into a tangled boneless heap in the throes of an impossible passion fulfilled, their bodies glistening in the moonlight, wonderfully spent.

"I love you Nicholas Burkhardt." She whispered against his chest.

"I love you Adalind Schade." He breathed into her beautiful and wonderfully damp golden hair.

*/*/*

Adalind, with some guidance from Henrietta, quickly put together the reverse spell to bring back Nick's Grimm sight. Surprisingly, it wasn't difficult at all, it just involved putting together the ingredients step by step but only backwards and because she'd taken Juliette's form the first time, this time there was no need to change her form to look like another and had a few hours before the effects of the spell could wear off. They left Diana in the skittish but very willing hands of Monroe and Rosalee.

It was the strangest and most awkward two hours of her life. Adalind found she was more nervous than on that fateful afternoon, months back…a lot more nervous than the first time she had sex the same night her mother left her alone for the first time. Her and Nick sat side by side on his bed, the same bed where they had made sweet passionate love the previous night and now she couldn't stand to sit on it let alone make love to Nick one last time.

Nick took her hand in his, "I'm nervous too," he said.

"Do you really think we'll go back to hating each other, it's a reverse spell after all?"

"I don't know. I hope not."

"No, don't. That will only make things worse than they already are."

"We don't have to do this, you know."

"Yes, we do. If nothing else, I'll have one less thing to regret in my life."

He turned to look at her, almost pleading with her but she leaned her head forward and their lips touched. The kiss was chaste, devoid of the same passion she knew just the night before. Her head was telling her it was for the best while her heart begged her to listen to Nick instead. Everything felt perfunctory, almost mechanical, even the way he touched her but a familiar warmth began to pool in her stomach all the way down to her toes. The hair at the back of her nick tingled with each sweet caress. No, she refused to give in to this moment. It wasn't real, it was the effects of the spell, she told herself. Soon he'll be whole and they'd both be free and he'll want nothing to do with her. If she was lucky, she would never remember any of this time, not the night before and every other night since they left Vienna, like the l'esprit ailleurs spell but Adalind was never one to be so lucky.

She climaxed first and he, moments later, their bodies dripping heavily with sweat. For a second, she didn't move. She wanted to stay just a little bit in his arms but such a thing wasn't meant for one such as her. When her heart eventually slowed to a normal pace, before his arms could lull her into staying, Adalind pulled herself free.

"I have to go." She cried and like that, she grabbed her clothes and ran out.

He chased her out, "This doesn't change anything or how I feel." He said.

"You don't know that." She said as she put on her shoes. "You won't know for a least a few hours or a day at the most. And I can't stay here and wait only to watch the love vanish from your eyes. At least leave me this one thing."

"I can't accept that it's over when it hadn't even begun."

"Maybe it's for the best. We shouldn't fool ourselves, this isn't some fairy tale. I've always been the wicked witch and you the knight, 'Never the twain shall meet'. That's just how it is, let's accept it and move on…." She wiped the rebellious tear from her face.

Adalind had wanted to be strong, to walk away from him and the life they could have had without crumbling to pieces but that was not possible. She steeled her one last time, slipped on her jacket and ran her fingers through her tousled hair.

She walked right up to him, "This is goodbye Nick." She said and pecked him on the lips and left him standing alone in his loft. When she got inside the cab, her tears were flowing in earnest, at least he would be whole again, she thought; a weak consolation when held up against what she'd given up.