By now you're probably thinking, seriously what the fuck is wrong with this girl? Is she going mad? Has she lost a nerve and gone crazy? Does she have a few screws loose in her brain? I wouldn't blame you if you did think like that of me by this point. I wouldn't believe it myself. In fact, I'm starting to think if really this has all been just some kind of horrible nightmare. The last week, the time travelling, me meeting up with Chloe, her getting shot, Mr Jefferson, the search for Amber, all of it.

Well if that's the case, I can tell you right now that this nightmare has just gotten worse.

I found myself, somehow sitting on a bench surrounded by … snow? What the hell? It's October for crying out loud! I mean sure, it snowed a little the other day but this was … like winter level. How could this be? What the hell was goi-

"Excuse me, ladies. I have to go and rescue yonder Queen from the Sav-Mart. She doth have many bags of grub for us to feat upon!"

That voice. I know it, it's … it's …

I look up and see a huge living room before me, and I mean big. It was as if everything had grown about six times its size; the carpet, the TV, the sofa, the shelves, the cabinet, the rug, the table and chairs, everything! How the hell was it this big? I look around me and notice that the snow was only in about a ten foot circle around the bench I'm sitting on and beyond that was some kind of … I don't know how to describe it. The best I can give is some kind of wall, obviously it looked like glass. Oh great, now you can't even explain a glass wall!

Well, I am stuck in a place where everything looks like it's from 'Jack and the Beanstalk'!

From around a corner ahead of me, where the edge of a cabinet was just visible, a huge person walks out. I know it may sound crazy but the size comparison was just incredible, and I mean that in a shocking way rather than one of astonishment. I look at the person and gasp.

"William!" I mutter to myself in complete shock.

It was him alright, right down to the very last detail. The same eyes, nose, mouth, hair style, clothes he was wearing on the day, the shoes, the way he talked, his voice …

His voice. Joyce was really lucky to have him as a husband. He was such a loving father. Chloe needed him right now … and so do I.

I watched as he moved over to the table and scanned the top of it, moving the fruit bowl and the papers.

"Shit, where are my keys?" he asked.

"That's a dollar for the swear jar!" I, in unison with William, snap my head to the right and see the back of a younger Chloe standing there fumbling around with something on the cabinet top. It was then it hit me!

I'm in Chloe's house again, and … that means this is …

"You mean your college fund," William replied cheerfully as he began searching again. I wasn't watching though. I had my head buried in my hands, knowing what was about to happen. I had been through it already … about three times already? Four maybe? Gah, I don't know!

"Max, you seen my keys?" aame William's voice again and I looked up so quickly that I felt my neck click.

There, standing before me, a sad expression on her face was … was me. Not me as in a clone of me, but my younger self, back when I was thirteen. The shorter brown hair with a headband, the necklace, the blue shirt and much more freckly face, all of it was instantly recognizable. She, I mean I seemed to be staring at me, I mean myself, with a sad expression as if she-Damnit! I mean I-were saying: "Why are you making me do this? Why couldn't you stop it?"

Now I really knew I was in the right time, only … what am I doing standing by the fireplace? I heard William cuss out again and Chloe exclaim about how the swear jar was going to be full tonight. William responded about how she was 'bankrupting him' and continued to look, kneeling down and looking under the sofa and under the small coffee table in front of the sofa.

Even though I knew that I couldn't intervene because of what happened last time I did that, I was still praying that he wouldn't find the keys. C'mon, William, just move away from the coffee table now. Please. I even found myself standing up and pounding the edge of this glass wall, a panicked expression on my face as I almost screamed at him, begging that he would hear me or at least do what I wanted. My younger me just looked at me melancholically as if to say: Why are you even trying? As if she had resigned him away to his fate already.

"Aha!" William's voice exclaimed from across the room and I, that is me and not younger me, looked over to see him stand up with the keys in his hand, having found them under his hat. "Found them. Alright, I'm off to pick up your mother. Play nice and try not to destroy too much of the house."

"We will, dad." Chloe called after him as he walked out of the living room towards the front door.

"Oh," William's voice came again as he stopped just out of view of the kitchen doorway. "And no Chloe and Max wine tasting session. We need that for your mother's salmon tonight." He told them, drawing a groan and an acquiescing "Okay, Dad," from Chloe.

With that, William walked away out the front door, out to his doom.

"No!" I whimpered, feeling my strength fall in a split-second and I sank to my knees, hitting my head against the glass. "No!" I said again.

"Are you happy now?!" I looked up and saw my younger self staring daggers at me, tears forming in her eyes. "Thanks for ruining everything for them and me!" she said to me through gritted teeth.

I … I just … couldn't find the words to argue back. She was right. It was my fault, and it still is! My grip on controlling time is gone, my power is fucking useless! I can't save anyone, not even myself! Some hero you are, Max Caulfield!

Maybe … Maybe I'm just not meant to … to be a hero, or … maybe I'm not meant to save William from all this.

Is this pre-determined for me and Chloe? Are we meant to endure this?

How cruel life can be. Now it's clear why they say 'life's a bitch!'.

My phone vibrating distracts me and I take it out of my pocket and open the tab to see a single text. It's from William. Swallowing hard, I open the text and see one message that feels like my heart is breaking in half once again.

'Hey Max, say hi to Chloe and Joyce for me. :)

Don't forget to tell them you let me die'

I can't take it anymore. I let out a cry of pain as I throw my phone against the wall and fall on my side, sobbing loudly and cradling my head in my hands.

How long will this nightmare go on?!