Chapter Nine

A/N: Whoo! Nine Chapters! Now, I'll begin to slow down as I like having something to do when I'm supposed to be doing homework. Review!

SNAPE: "The Hogwarts champions shall now enter the Champion's Tent, in preparation for the first task…"

HARRY: "Man…I can't believe we've gotta skip lunch period for this stupid task…"

"Hear, hear!" Cedric shouted and Ron nodded fervently.

HERMIONE: "Okay Harry, today's the day, the day you fight the dragon. Now, did you read those notes that I made for you on dragons?"

HARRY: "No."

HERMIONE: "What, why not?"

"Because he's Potter?"

HARRY: "Are you kidding me, those were so boring…"

"That works too."

HERMIONE: "So you- you didn't read them, you didn't prepare at all? You're not prepared at all?"

HARRY: "Well no, at least I have my wand, um…I brought my…"

HERMIONE: "Harry."

The Hermione onstage thrust Harry's wand at him and Harry frowned. "Okay, I'm not that bad."

Ron and Hermione smirked and murmured "Your wand. World Cup."

"That was a set of different circumstances."

"That infernal cloak. End of last year."

"You try and remember something when dodging the Willow."

HARRY: "Hey…cool…You're the best..."

HERMIONE: "Harry just, please don't die today…I don't want to see my best friend get eaten by a dragon!"

HARRY: "Hey, hey relax, okay? Save the tears for my funeral…"

Hermione slapped her best friend on the back of the head, knocking his messy hair even more askew. "You would say that."

"No I wouldn't. I like living." Harry said in protest.

"Save it Harry."

HERMIONE: "Yeah, yeah…"

Cedric and Malfoy's characters came back on the screen

"Yay! Malfoy's back!"

"It's the end of the world. Ron likes Malfoy!" Harry cried.

"Shut it Harry!"

CEDRIC: "So, tell me more about this Pigfarts, I find it to be very interesting."

DRACO: "Well, while you're there you have to wear your space suit at all times, because there's no atmosphere on Mars so if a single docking bay opens, you'll probably die."

CEDRIC: "My, how dreadful!"

"Yet, he still sounds excited..." Ginny mumbled, confusedly.

"How could you not, when there's every chance that Malfoy might die at Pigfarts?" Ron remarked.

Harry donned a grin of agreement.

"Boys." Hermione said, shaking her head.

"OI!"

"Ginny." Hermione shook her head again.

DRACO: "Well, but the good news is if you're a good enough student, Rumbleroar lets you ride around on his back!"

CEDRIC: "And he's the headmaster lion?"

DRACO: "Who can talk."

"Well, that's something I hope Messrs. Weasleys never hear about. Although if they do, I would conveniently forget about this part."

Harry and Ron snuck a smile and made a mental note to tell Fred and George about that.

CEDRIC: "Oh…Well hello Harry, how are you feeling today?"

HARRY: "Hey Cedric, trying to stay positive…"

"Someone's jealous!"

"Shut it Malfoy."

CEDRIC: "Well good, I'm happy to find you in good spirits! Miss Granger."

Harry smirked when Cedric glared at the screen.

"That's going to be a very constant thing, isn't it?"

"Yep."

HERMIONE: "Hello…"

"Hermione, what's your problem against me?"

"Nothing, though I find it very egomatic of you to assume that I'd be angry at you and not nervous for my friend."

CHO: "Sugar-pie!"

"Urgh!"

"Mature guys."

"That was Sirius."

"Harry!"

CEDRIC: "My darling! Was that a kiss for good luck?"

CHO: "No, that was for bein' so cotton-pickin' cute! This one's for good luck!"

HARRY: "Hate that guy…"

Cho felt herself smile a little at the attention she was getting from both Harry and Cedric.

HERMIONE: "It's okay Harry, you're going to be great today…"

DUMBLEDORE: "Oh God! Granger I thought you were a boggart! I'm terrified of those…And what the hell are you doing in the Champion's Tent? Get out of here, ten more points!"

HARRY: "Thanks Hermione…"

DUMBLEDORE: "Are you kids ready to fight a dragon…? Of course not you're just children, what the hell am I thinkin'?"

The room burst into loud laughter at Dumbledore's crazy antics. Dumbledore in particular was beaming.

"Good one Professor!" Sirius called out.

"Well, outside this tent are thousands upon thousands of screaming fans and they're either going to be cheering for you- or the dragon- but either way they'll be makin' some kind of noise! So- in order for the selection process to be fair, I'm going to randomly select a cardboard cut-out size version of the dragon you will be defeating. For you Cedric, Puff the Magic Dragon. Figment, the Imaginary Dragon…The Reluctant Dragon…and for you Potter, theHungarian Horntail most terrifying thing you'll ever see in your whole life!"

HARRY: "Hey! Ah! Oh my God!"

DUMBLEDORE: "Right, if there are no complaints I think I wanna-"

HARRY: "Hey wait, hold on a second! This is terrifying, those are the cutest things I've ever seen."

"Something tells me that I just have rotten luck." Harry muttered.

"Oh don't feel bad pup." Sirius comforted his godson. "Your father was the same way until seventh year. Lily kept cursing him."

"Because you kept pranking her, Pads." Remus butted in.

"Details, details."

DUMBLEDORE: "This thing is horrifying! Just use your imagination…Disapparate!"

"Not a spell!" Malfoy huffed.

"That's what you said last time." Hermione smirked.

RON: "God, this competition is going to suck all these dragons are wimps- Accio Double-stuff!"

"Why am I always eating?" Ron asked.

"Because you have a black hole for a stomach Ron."

"Harry!"

"Just stating the facts, mate."

"Look at that one…Oh my God, monster! Wait, is that yours?"

HARRY: "Yeah."

RON: "Oh my God, that's awesome, I wanna hold it! Oh my God, this thing is terrifying, hope the real thing is smaller…Rawr! Ferocious, what are you gonna do?"

"Ron! Can't you see Harry is upset?" Hermione scolded, smacking Ron on the back.

"Some friend you are." Cho huffed and scooted closer to Harry. Harry smirked in Cedric's direction.

"Guys. It's not me!"

HARRY: "I don't know, I'm not cut out for this kind of thing!"

RON: "Oh my God…"

HERMIONE: "Ron! This is the Champion's Tent, you can't be in here!"

SNAPE: "Ms. Granger…what the devil are you doing in the Champion's Tent? Ten points from Gryffindor!"

HARRY: "Ugh…Thanks Hermione…"

RON: "Thanks Hermione. Good luck buddy- Bye Snape!"

Hermione scowled.

"But wasn't he also in the tent?" Ginny glared.

"Snape hates her." Harry said.

SNAPE: "Bye…Cedric Diggory…now is your chance to face…your dragon."

CEDRIC: "Alright fellas wish me luck!"

CHO: "I believe in you!"

CEDRIC: "That's all I needed to hear!"

Ginny and Hermione laughed at the cheesy line, and the males looked sickened.

"What if she said 'You'd be better off in meatloaf'? Would you have said the same thing?" Ron asked.

"No."

"I find that you would."

"Shut it."

HARRY: "Hey Malfoy, tell ya what I'll let you switch dragons with me. I'll give you the chance to switch dragons with me- I'll give you that opportunity. Alright, don't worry about it-"

DRACO: "Uh…let me think about it- No."

Malfoy pointed his index finger at the screen victoriously, "There. At least there's some of me in there somewhere."

"Whatever helps you sleep at night." Cedric muttered.

HARRY: "Come on Malfoy, come on, I'll- I'll give you my Gushers!"

DRACO: "Oh no, I have a Fruit by the Foot, I don't want your Gushers."

SNAPE: "Cho Chang…your dragon awaits…"

CHO: "Well, I can't imagine that this will be very hard…"

SNAPE: "Oh I imagine, it won't!"

"At least that pun won't last the entire play." Cedric muttered. Cho glared and scooted closer to Harry.

CHO & SNAPE: "Ahahaha!"

HARRY: "Malfoy, come on! Tell ya what, I'll throw in my Teddygrams with the Gushers- you can make little Gusher- Teddygram sandwiches!"

DRACO: "Alright, you throw in that pack of Bugles and you've got yourself a deal!"

Ron's mouth was watering at all the mention of snack foods.

HARRY: "Absolutely not."

SNAPE: "Draco Malfoy…"

HARRY: "Professor Snape, is there anyway I can- I don't know, forfeit, or switch dragons- maybe just take a day off- What-what-what're you doing?"

SNAPE: "I'm protecting you Potter, Welsh Greenbacks can't stand the taste of Hunt's Tomato Ketchup!"

HARRY: "But I'm not fighting a Welsh Greenback, I'm fighting a Hungarian Horntail!"

SNAPE: "Oh, silly me! Hunt's Tomato Ketchup is what Hungarian Horntails like best of all…Good luck Potter!"

"I believe that this is a theory that should be tested..." Sirius announced smiling dangerously at Snape.

"Try it Black and you'll become the first neutered animagus."

HARRY: "What?"

DUMBLEDORE: "And now Harry Potter, the terrifying Hungarian Horntail, most terrifying thing you'll ever see your whole life! It should be noted, that this particular dragon has not been fed…in two weeks…"

Harry scowled mumbling darkly, "Oh yeah, let's make it more dangerous for Harry..."

HERMIONE: "Come on, Harry…"

RON: "Woo! Go Harry! You got it!"

HERMIONE: "Just think positive, you can do it! Harry- Harry- Harry!"

RON: "Ahhhh!"

HARRY: "Oh my God! A-a-accio guitar!

"What? Guitar?" Harry spluttered.

"That I'd love to see!" Cedric laughed.

"Mate, I'm siding with Diggory on this one." Ron chuckled.

Hey dragon you don't gotta do this Lets reevaluate our options throw away our old presumptions cause really you don't wanna go through this

Malfoy glanced over at his rival and drawled, "Really, Potter. You're going to sing to a dragon. You never cease to amaze me in your stupidity."

"Says the boy who gets beaten by Hermione in every exam."

"They're rigged!"

I'm really not that special the Boy-Who-Lived is only flesh and bone the truth is in the end I'm pretty useless without friends In fact I'm alone Just like now but anyhow

I spend my time at school trying to be this cool guy I never even asked for I don't know any spells

"Yes, I do!" Harry objected.

Ron nodded and added "Yeah, you should see him preform expelliarmus!" Harry growled and shoved him.

"See if you get that Cannon's book for your birthday." Harry muttered.

"No. Please!" Ron cried. "I'll be good!"

Still manage to do well But there's only so long that can last for I'm living off the glory of some stupid children's story I had nothing to do with I just sat there and got lucky so level with me buddy I can't defeat thee so please don't eat me All I can do is sing this song for you"

HARRY: "Lalalalala"

"Oh my God, Harry!" giggled Hermione and she was joined by Ginny.

"I adore musicians." Cho said, glancing at both of her admirers. Harry made a mental note to learn to play guitar. Cedric made a mental note to buy all the guitars in Britain.

DRAGON: "Rarararara"

"Charlie would be laughing like crazy." Ginny giggled. Ron was doubled over wheezing out air.

HARRY: "Lalalalala Lalala"

HARRY: "That's right Dragon You never asked to be a dragon I never asked to be a champion We both just jumped on the band wagon But all we need is guitar jamming"

HARRY: "Lalalalala"

DRAGON: "Rarararara"

HARRY: "Lalalalala Lalala"

HARRY: (speaking) "Goodnight Dragon.

1-2-3! I beat the dragon!"

"It fell asleep." said Ron, chuckling.

"So Potter didn't beat it." said Malfoy with a smug look on his face.

"Amounts to the same thing though, doesn't it?" Harry returned with a roll of his eyes.

"Next Clip!" Ron shouted.

"Alright!"

A/N: Again, Happy Halloween. Something I've been wondering. Why doesn't JKR at least mention that Harry spends a Halloween mourning his parents? Seeing in DH that he's not surprised about the date of their deaths, Harry would have to know.

Oh. Review!