Author's Note: Just a fair warning that this chapter definitely deserves the M rating that this fic has, and it's not for strong language or violence. ;) I promised you guys that I would make the cliffhanger from the last chapter up to you, so hopefully this does just that. Thank you guys so much for all of the reviews last chapter and for making me laugh with your reactions to the cliffhanger. Please keep reviewing and let me know what you guys think. And I'm always open to ideas that I can incorporate into future chapters so let me know if there's something you'd like to see. Enjoy!
Jesse took his time changing after the show and was one of the last ones to leave the theatre that night. He had wanted to avoid seeing Rachel. He had said what he had needed to say when they had talked in his dressing room before the show and he didn't want to talk about it anymore. She knew where he stood and when she finally decided what she wanted to do about it, she knew where to find him. After spending a good twenty minutes signing autographs, taking pictures and talking to the fans, he finally headed home.
When he walked into his empty apartment, the only thing that illuminated the living room were the lights of the city that were dimly coming through the windows. He had to admit that he was really starting to like coming home to an empty house. There was a certain freedom about it. He still hadn't talked to Isla since she had left for Paris. He thought that he should probably feel guilty about the fact that he hadn't bothered to call her but he really didn't have anything that he wanted to say to her. Well, nothing nice, at least.
Jesse flipped on the light over the wet bar before he went over to the stereo and put his iPod in it, turning on one of his more melancholy playlists. Walking back over to the bar, Jesse poured himself a glass of scotch. Turning off the light, he took his glass of scotch and laid down on the couch, sipping on the drink as he listened to the music. He closed his eyes as Trespassers William's "Lie In the Sound" came on and listened to the lyrics – I love you more than I should/So much more than is good for me – as his thoughts turned to Rachel once again.
A knock on his door startled him suddenly, he bolted upright, and setting his glass down on the coffee table, went to answer the door. As he looked through the peep hole, he saw that it was Rachel who was standing on the other side of the door.
He quickly unlocked the door and opened it to see her looking up at him with such a desperate expression on her face. Jesse stepped to the side and opened the door wider in a wordless invitation for Rachel to come inside. The only words that filled the space between them were the lyrics of the song – I am falling, say my name/And I'll lie in the sound/What is love, but whatever/my heart needs around – as it continued to play like a soundtrack for that moment as Rachel walked into Jesse's apartment and he shut the door behind her.
They just stood in the dim light that filled the room for a bit, just staring at each other silently. Neither one really knowing what to say. "Great song," Rachel finally said, breaking their silence.
"Rather poignant," Jesse said as he took a step closer to Rachel. "Why are you here, Rachel?" He knew what her coming to his apartment meant but he wanted her to say it.
She didn't respond right away as she listened to the song – Oh but I know what I need/And if you were just near to me/Would you go... "You know why I'm here, Jesse," she replied quietly, walking further into his apartment, setting her bag down and slipping her shoes off.
"I need you tell me," he told her, not moving from the spot he had been standing in. He had told her that he would never kiss her or touch her like that unless she asked him to. He was going to stay true to his word. Keep his promise to her and himself.
"Kiss me, Jesse," Rachel practically begged. She didn't mean for her request to come out that way, but she didn't really care how she sounded just as long as he granted her request.
Jesse crossed the room to her in a few short strides and took her face in his hands, leaning down so their lips were almost touching. "Are you sure?" he asked quietly, searching her eyes.
If he hadn't been holding her in place with both of his hands then Rachel would have kissed him in response to his question, but instead she replied, "Completely."
Jesse surprised Rachel by kissing her slowly. Gently. Lovingly. He kissed her like they didn't want to rip their clothes off and fuck right there on the floor. Like they weren't burning with an uncontrollable desire for one another and they had all the time in the world. Like there was no one else but them. It was enough to drive Rachel insane, but he held her face in his hands still and was in complete control. She wanted his fingers and mouth and tongue to start exploring the contours of her body. She wanted them on her. In her.
Rachel grabbed a fistful of his shirt and tugged him closer to her. She felt his chiseled body beneath his t-shirt as she ran her hands down his chest and then down his stomach. Finally her fingers came into contact with his belt buckle and she quickly undid it, her fingertips barely grazing the bare skin that was exposed between the hem of his shirt and his jeans.
She had just unbuckled his belt when Jesse's hands grasped hers in his own before she could start to unbutton his jeans. "Not yet. We've waited too long for this to be just a quick fuck," he said, quietly.
"Jesse," she groaned in frustration. He cut off any further protest with an open-mouthed kiss and Rachel wasted no time thrusting her tongue into his mouth as he guided her backwards until her back came into contact with the hard surface of the kitchen counter.
The next thing Rachel knew she was on top of the kitchen counter and Jesse's lips were assaulting her neck. He lifted her shirt up as he ran his hands up her sides, pulling back long enough to pull it over her head. His lips found hers again as his hands began to massage her breasts and his thumbs grazed her nipples through her bra.
As they continued to kiss, he reached around her and deftly unclasped her bra. Pulling back, they just looked at each other as he grasped her bra straps and pulled it completely off of her. Jesse smiled at the way she unabashedly looked at him as she sat exposed before him, it was so different from the Rachel he had dated so many years ago. He had found that shy, inexperienced girl she had been to be beautiful, but the confident, sure-of-herself Rachel that he was looking at now was mesmerizing.
"You're wearing too many clothes," Rachel said as she reached down and lifted his shirt over his head. She wrapped her legs around his waist to get closer to him, their bare chests brushing against each other as they kissed hungrily. His lips left hers as he began making a trail of wet, open-mouthed kisses down her throat and chest until he finally reached her breasts. Rachel fisted her hand in his hair as he kissed and licked and nipped one breast while he ghosted his hand over her other breast causing a myriad of sensations.
As his focus turned to her other breast, Jesse reached down to undo the jeans that she was wearing, his fingers working expertly as he undid the top button with ease and quickly unzipped them. She lifted off the counter as he tugged the jeans off of her. He splayed his fingers on her legs as he ran his hands up her thighs, his palms causing wonderful friction.
Rachel thought it only fair that if she was going to be clad in only her underwear then so should Jesse. So she reached down and undid his jeans, shoving them down his hips as far as she could before Jesse had to take them all the way off. She locked eyes with Jesse and smiled seductively as her hand trailed down his abdomen and past the waistband of his boxer-briefs.
"Rachel…" Jesse moaned as Rachel took him in her small hand and stroked him. They continued to stare into each other's eyes as Rachel quickened her pace. Jesse stopped her movements before she could give him release, grabbing her arm and gently pushing her back on the counter.
Rachel started to protest until Jesse tugged her panties down her legs and completely off of her. He hooked her legs over his shoulders, kissing his way up one of her inner thighs until he got to his destination. Rachel's breathing sped up in anticipation as she felt his breath on her.
"God, you are more perfect than I ever even imagined," he said, placing another kiss on her other thigh. He licked his lips as he thought of how she would taste. He parted her with his fingers and ran his tongue up her slick folds slowly until he reached her bundle of nerves and started sucking on it and flicking it with his tongue. He loved the way she tasted and the way she writhed under his ministrations.
Rachel was barely hanging on as she grabbed the edge of the counter and arched her back as his fingers and mouth worked expertly causing her body to jerk up at the sensations they caused. "Oh, God!" she cried out as she experienced one of the most mind-blowing orgasms she had ever had, her body shuddering with release. He slowly continued to lick her as her orgasm subsided, really tasting her.
He was so hard that it was painful. Slowly, he kissed his way up her body before Rachel grabbed his head and pulled his lips to hers. She could still taste herself as her tongue explored his mouth. It turned her on in ways that she'd never imagined and she was once again throbbing for him to touch her.
"Fuck me, Jesse," she whispered against his lips.
"Not here," he whispered back, before kissing her deeply once more. Rachel wrapped her legs around his waist as he picked her up. Luckily, he could find his bedroom with his eyes closed as he and Rachel continued to kiss each other breathless, almost like they were making up for all of the lost kisses that they might have had over the years if things had been different.
Finally they reached his bedroom and he slowly laid her down on his bed. He had never seen a more beautiful sight in his life than her gazing up at him with her chocolate-colored hair fanning around her head like a halo against his stark white comforter.
"What?" she asked with a hint of a smile as she reached up to caress his cheek.
Taking her hand that was caressing his face in his own hand, he kissed the palm of her hand softly. A soft "beautiful" was all he managed to say.
"So are you," Rachel said quietly. "Take those off and come here," she insisted, tugging on the waistband of the boxer-briefs that he was still somehow wearing. He did as she requested and removed the last remaining bit of clothing that he was wearing.
He settled between her legs and placed a soft, chaste kiss on her lips. She whimpered as she felt the tip of him brush against her lightly. Rachel thought she might die with the agonizing slowness with which he pushed into her. She wrapped one of her legs around him as he pushed her other knee up to her chest as he thrust into her again, more quickly this time.
"You feel…" Jesse said against her skin as she matched every one of his thrusts with one of her own. He had thought that she would be vocal and she didn't disappoint as she cried out loudly every time their bodies collided. He knew he would have marks down his back from the way her nails scraped down it. He didn't care. He wanted her to leave her mark on him.
"I'm so close," Rachel panted as their movements became more erratic. After a few more hard thrusts, Rachel was crying out in ecstasy for the second time in the last hour, only this time Jesse was experiencing his own orgasm with her. He kissed her breasts, her neck and her lips in silent worship as her body shuddered beneath him.
Roilling off of her, he lay down on the bed next to her as he tried to catch his breath. Rachel rolled over and draped her leg over him as she laid her head on his chest. They lay like that for a little while as she listened to his heartbeat begin to slow and he gently ran his fingers through her hair. Eventually, she scooted up the bed and laid her head down on the bed next to his, just watching him as he lay there with his eyes closed.
"You're staring," Jesse said, not opening his eyes and a hint of a smirk on his lips.
"I can't help it," she replied, brushing her fingers across his forehead causing Jesse to sigh in contentment.
"You know, it's a good thing you didn't lose your virginity to me back in high school," he said, his eyes still closed.
"And why is that?" she asked, a hint of a smile on her lips.
"Because every woman that I've been with would have been compared to you. None of them would have measured up," he told her, finally opening his eyes and turning to look at her.
"Trust me, the first time I had sex was not that great," she replied.
"I'm not talking about that, although with enough practice together it would've been…" he trailed off, a mischevious glint in his eyes. "I'm talking about the way you feel." He ran his hand down her stomach. "The way you taste." He kissed her neck and licked her skin to taste the salt on her skin. "The sounds you make." He unexpectedly dipped a finger inside of her causing Rachel to cry out in pleasure. "You're exquisite." He finally leaned down and captured her lips with his own, in a slow and sensual kiss.
Rachel hadn't been sure that her body could handle more so quickly and she certainly didn't think that he would be able to either, yet there she was rolling over on top of him and straddling him, both completely ready for more.
Rachel lay lazily on Jesse's chest afterwards, tracing invisible lines on his skin with her fingers. "It was because I saw you had a wedding band on," she blurted out suddenly.
Jesse looked down at her in confusion, not sure what she was talking about. When she didn't say anything further, he brushed his fingers through her hair and asked, "Care to elaborate on that very cryptic statement?"
She leaned on one elbow as she sat up to look at him. "The night that I saw you after your show. The night I ran away. It was because I saw that you were married," she confessed.
"Really?" He was surprised. He didn't know why he was surprised since they'd both obviously had lingering feelings for each other for years, but he was. "If it felt anything like when you told me you were engaged to another man," he couldn't bring himself to say his name. "Then I can understand why you didn't stick around to chat."
"Well, if you went back to your apartment and cried about it to one of your friends then…" she trailed off, looking down. Jesse ran his fingertips soothingly over her bare back. She inwardly cringed as she thought about how she had fantasized about Jesse while making love to Donovan that night. "Or if you had sex with your…" Rachel struggled with the next word but managed to get it out, "wife while imagining it was me then that's how it felt."
"Does masturbating while thinking about you count?" he asked, trying to make her smile. It worked.
"You masturbated and thought about me the first night we hung out?" Her smile reached her eyes as they crinkled at the corners.
"And many other nights after that," he told her, leaning up and kissing her neck.
"Tell me about it," she panted as she felt his tongue dart out to taste her skin. "Your fantasies about me."
He pushed her back on the bed, effectively pinning her beneath him. "Why don't I just show you," he said breathlessly before claiming her lips with his own.
