A/N: I know I've been fail with updates and review replies. Once tax season is over I hope to have a little more free time on my hands. Thanks to my prereader, OCDJen, for putting her spin on things, and to my beta, Ealasaid77, for dealing with the horror of g'docs to fix my chapter. I couldn't get these chapters out without them.
"Thanks Edward for being here for me. It means so much to me that I can depend on you. It's been so long since I've been able to depend on anyone. It feels good," he said as he snuggled into my side putting his arm around my waist and his head on my shoulder.
"It's okay Jasper, I don't want to be anywhere else but here," I said wrapping my arm around him and pulling him tight against me. As I lay there feeling Jasper's heart beat against my chest and listening to him breathe, I couldn't help but think of a line from my mom's favorite movie, "tomorrow is another day," and it was, for both Jasper and me. Closing my eyes, I went to sleep thinking of what tomorrow would bring for the both of us.
Chapter Nine
As I rose into consciousness, I had the distinct feeling that I was being stared at, so I fought to wake up. Opening my eyes, I could see Jasper sitting on the chair across the room watching me.
"Hey," I mumbled in a sleepy voice. "You're up."
"Yeah, I am, thanks to you," Jasper replied sheepishly. "I'm so sorry, Edward, for everything that happened yesterday and for making you come over here and find me like that and…."
"Whoa, Jasper, take a breath," I said, cutting him off. "It's okay, really. You don't need to apologize to me about anything, please. I'm just glad that I was able to be here for you, that's all." Scooting to the edge of the bed, I grabbed Jasper's hands in mine and squeezed them tightly.
"Remember what you said last night?" I inquired of him.
"Yeah, I remember some of it . What part do you mean exactly?" he asked.
"All of it. The part about you coming home with me today? And the part about realizing you can trust me and depend on me. Do you remember that? " I demanded to know.
"Yeah, I remember. I meant all of it too, you know, " he responded nervously.
"Good. Let's get our stuff together and go home. We need to talk some more, but I'd rather do it there, okay?" I wanted to get out of this place and leave all of the bad memories behind us. Jasper and I were going to start fresh and I wanted to do it at home, at our place.
"Yeah, Edward, let's go home," he said smiling at me.
It took us about an hour to get all Jasper's stuff together and clean everything up. I waited in the car while he checked out, and then we headed back to the dorms.
The drive was a silent one as I really wasn't sure what to say, and Jasper kept his head turned away from me by looking out of the window. Figuring he was embarrassed about what had happened, I didn't want to push him into having a conversation he might not be ready to have.
As we pulled up in front of our building, Jasper finally spoke. "Edward, could you do me a favor?"
"Sure I can, Jasper. What?" He had to know that I would do just about anything for him.
"Could we not tell anybody about what happened last night? I'm kind of embarrassed about it and I'd rather keep it just between us if that's okay with you?" he questioned me hesitantly.
"Sure, Jasper, I understand. No one needs to know but us. Although, Emmett does know that you ran out on me last night," I told him honestly as I shut off the car.
"He does? How?" I could hear the fear in his voice as he asked me those questions.
"Well, he called and came over after you left and he could see how upset I was, so I told him that we had fought and that you left," I answered truthfully.
"You didn't tell him why we fought did you?" he demanded angrily.
"No, Jasper, never! I promised you I wouldn't say anything and I didn't, but Emmett knows I have feelings for you. All I told him was that I pushed the envelope a little too far and drove you away. Your secret is safe with me, Jasper." How many more times did I have to assure him that he could trust me?
Jasper sighed as his anger slipped away, "Thanks Edward, I'm sorry for doubting you . All the more reason to apologize to you, I guess," he responded sheepishly.
"No more apologies, Jasper. What happened happened and we've put it behind us . We are starting with a clean slate today and from here on in we are going to work together to deal with this, got it?"
Smiling Jasper said, "Yeah, I got it. Let's get upstairs and eat something because I am starving!"
Laughing, I locked the car and followed Jasper up to our place. It felt good to say our place again. Last night made me realize how much Jasper had come to mean to me in such a short time, and while I knew that we might not end up together romantically, I did still want us to be friends.
Heading into the kitchen, I started making breakfast while Jasper unpacked all of his stuff . He came in just as I started plating the food.
"Everything smells good," he stated after taking a deep breath
"Thanks. Hope it tastes as good as it smells," I laughed.
Breakfast consisted of bacon, mushroom, cheese omelets and of course, coffee. Nothing too spectacular, but it hit the spot. Both of us were quiet, though, as we concentrated on our meals. After about ten minutes, Jasper spoke.
"Look Edward, I want you to know I was serious about what I said last night. In the past my therapy wasn't successful because I was still too angry about what had happened and I wasn't able to admit that I needed help. Now, I'm willing to let go of the anger and try to work on things. I'm not afraid to ask for help and admit that I can't do it on my own."
"That's great, Jasper, I'm really proud of you. But what's different this time?" If he was still hanging on to his anger, his therapy wasn't going to be any more helpful this time than it was in the past. The last thing I wanted was to get deeper involved emotionally and have Jasper back away from me again.
"I didn't have any incentive last time, but I do now," he stated happily.
"What's your incentive? What's driving you to try again?" I had to know so I could make sure he was triumphant this time around, and there was a small glimmer of hope that he felt something for me like I did him.
"You are. You're my incentive, Edward. Before last night, I saw a glimpse of what a normal, healthy relationship could be like and I want that so badly, and I want it with you." Reaching across the table, he grabbed my hand.
"Do you want that with me, Edward?" he asked solemnly.
Squeezing his hand, I replied, "Yes Jasper, I do."
We sat there smiling at each other until someone knocked on the door shocking us out of our reverie.
"Yo, Eddie, open up!" Emmett bellowed through the door.
Jumping up from the table, I opened the door for Emmett and waved him in before he woke up the entire floor.
"Just wanted to make sure you were okay, buddy. You were pretty out of sorts last night and..." Emmett stopped talking as he spotted Jasper sitting in the kitchen. "Hey Jasper, you're back."
"Yeah, I came to my senses and came back here this morning," Jasper responded.
I noticed he left out all mention of me finding him last night and spending the night with him, so I let it slide. That was his story to tell, and if he wasn't comfortable with Emmett knowing it, than so be it.
"Good. Now I don't have to kick your ass for upsetting my boy Eddie here, and, I don't have to kick his for pulling whatever shit he pulled that caused you to leave," Emmett explained.
"It wasn't his fault, Emmett, it was all me!" Jasper exclaimed.
"No, Jasper, I'm just as much to blame as you are." And I was, I knew that and he knew it too.
"Listen, you boys can continue to blame yourselves all day long if you want, but if I'm going to be subjected to it can you at least feed me something?" Emmett begged.
"Sure, Em, have a seat and I'll whip you up an omelet." Laughing, I busied myself cooking, while Emmett poured himself a cup of coffee and settled in at the table.
"So does this mean everything is okay with you guys, or what?" Emmett questioned both of us.
"Yes, Emmett, it does. I t really is all my fault. Edward was just trying to help me out and I overreacted," Jasper stated calmly
"Jasper…" I said warningly.
"It's true, Edward, and I'm not ashamed to admit it. Listen, Emmett, I know you are worried about Edward and I don't blame you, but please believe me when I say that I will never deliberately hurt Edward again," Jasper stated seriously.
"Okay, man, I believe you. Everyone deserves a second chance and since you were willing to give Edward one after he said those not so nice things about you in the beginning, I guess I can give you a second chance now," Emmett mumbled in between bites of his omelet.
"Thanks, Emmett, I promise you won't be disappointed in me," Jasper assured him.
"Cool. Eddie, man, this omelet is delicious! I need to come eat over more often!"
"Anytime, Emmett, just warn me first so I can make sure I have enough food," I told him jokingly.
Pushing away his plate, Emmett stood up from the table. "All right, I'm out of here."
"You don't have to eat and run, Em, you can hang for a while if you want," I mentioned casually, hoping Jasper didn't mind me inviting him.
"Nah, that's okay, I only stopped to make sure you were okay, and you are. My job here is done." Taking a last sip of his coffee, he put his cup down and headed for the door. "Bye, Eddie. Bye, Jasper. I'll catch you guys later."
"Wow, Emmett's like a whirlwind, isn't he?" Jasper laughed as he helped me bring the dishes to the sink.
"He sure is. Thanks for defending me like that Jasper ,but you really didn't have to. You know I'm willing to take responsibility for my part in what happened."
"I know that, and I appreciate it immensely. That's the reason I defended you to Emmett. It's such a warm feeling for me to know that I have someone I can trust and depend on. I t's been such a long time since I've been able to let down my guard and just relax. T hat's all due to you, Edward, and your faith in me." Reaching over, he caressed my cheek with his hand. "No matter what happens in the future, I will always remember you and what you've done for me."
Grabbing his hand, I pulled it down to my lips and kissed it. "The same goes for me, Jasper, since I will always remember you, too."
"Enough of this seriousness!" he yelled playfully. "How about we put in a movie and just chill? If I'm going to start looking for a therapist tomorrow, today will be my last day off and I plan to enjoy it with you."
"That sounds like a wonderful idea. You go pick the movie out and set everything up, and I'll finish cleaning up in here."
Finally letting go of my hand, Jasper gave me one last smile and made his way into the living room as I cleaned up the breakfast dishes. My mind was running a mile a minute and all of the thoughts and feelings that were crashing through me were very confusing. On one hand, I wanted nothing more than to pull Jasper across the table and kiss his delectable lips, but on the other, I knew that he, nor our relationship, was ready for that. All I could hope for was that I would be able to control myself and my actions and that I didn't do anything to drive Jasper away.
"Are you coming in here soon, Edward? Everything is ready," J asper called from the living room.
"Yeah, Jazz, coming now," I said as I gave the counter one last swipe. There was no more time to delay the inevitable, I was just going to have to keep myself under control and let Jasper make all the moves, if any.
"What are we watching?" I inquired as I plopped myself next to Jasper on the couch.
"I felt like watching 'Die Hard' for some reason. That okay with you?" he questioned me hesitantly.
"Sure, that's one of my favorites," I responded smiling at him. "I just love Bruce Willis in this."
Settling in on the couch, I quickly became engrossed in the movie as it was action packed and moved at such a fast pace. I was so into it that I jumped a little when I felt Jasper scoot over to be closer to me.
'Do you mind?" he asked turning to face me.
"No, not at all though I must admit, I'm a little surprised. I wasn't sure if you would be ready for any kind of contact between us," I commented.
"Well, I'm not really ready for anything, but I did just want to be close to you. You make me feel safe and I know I've said this before, but it's been a long time since I felt that way about anybody," he stated seriously.
Reaching for his hand, I held it in mine and rubbed small circles on his palm. Jasper's skin was so soft and warm, and his hand fit in mine perfectly. Sighing, I looked up at him. "Jasper, I can't tell you how warm inside it makes me feel to hear you say that. A ll I can hope for is that your faith in me is not misplaced. I do promise to do everything I can to help you with your therapy and I will always be here for you for as long as you need me."
Jasper's smile was so big that I could see his dimples. "Thanks, man, that means so much to me. I promise you that I will do my very best with my therapy this time. With you by my side, I just know I can beat this thing. We can beat it, together."
"Together," I said smiling back at him.
