Cruel reality
Author: FOXOReily
Summary: Seven months pass after Michael left for Portland. Michael returns to Pittsburgh to spend his holiday. Brian is stuck at relationship with Justin as ever. Michael wants to talk to Brian something, but cannot easily make an opportunity. Time passes pitilessly... Sorry, there is no-beta.
Rated: R
Categories: Angst, Drama
Characters: Brian, Michael, David
Warnings: None
Completed: Yes
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Chapter 9
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It could say that was a solemn ritual. Because of not making Michael cautious or uncomfortable, at first Brian took off his shirt and underwear, and then undressed Michael's clothes one by one after having become naked oneself. Michael was cooperative and didn't show resistance at all. Rather, Michael who took in hesitation of Brian encouraged him.
"Don't stop, Brian."
"But...if you're feeling sick, I should've to stop this."
Brian didn't want to molest Michael that was hard to even get up. However, Michael didn't intend to let Brian stop this.
"We'll lose our opportunity if you stop this now."
At prompting of Michael, Brian continued working on himself. Brian caressed Michael's bare skin affectionately that gradually appeared. The pure appearance of Michael made Brian astonish that didn't change at all even passed 17 years from after their fateful encounter. The unique beauty that fascinated him instantly didn't change anything even after many years. When he was kid, nasty bullies were always able to easily locate Michael no matter how much Michael will hide. For better or worse, the peculiar contrast of color that Michael had attracted people anytime. Shining raven-black hair, deep brown eyes, and flawless alabaster skin that are opposite to those dark colors. Brian thought that skin was more beautiful than his memory. Even if Michael is over thirty, it was smooth and uncontaminated and very innocent.
"Michael...You are so beautiful."
"I'm memorizing you are the first one who praised my figure."
Michael frowned suspiciously.
"But did you really think so?"
"Do you never believe me? I don't say the lie to you."
Brian muttered with sighs laughingly while rubbing Michael's shoulder joint. Slowly he slid his palms to Michael's whole body. Brian caressed Michael's ankles and the kneecaps that have never paid attention so far. And then softness of the inner thighs which craved kissing. Of each curve, texture of skin, Brian was trying to engrave on his memory the touch of Michael's flexible muscles that push back his palms.
"I want you to know, Brian."
Michael caught Brian's right hand that was brushing his collarbone, and placed it on his heart.
"Don't say anything, Mikey."
Brian shook his head and interrupted it. Even if a thing uttered from Michael's mouth was anything, Brian couldn't think that he stand it. Probably it will be not what he wants to know.
"Please, don't say..."
"You don't want to know?"
"No...but, I mean you don't have to say it to me if you want to hide it from me."
Kissing Michael's forehead lovingly, Brian placed his body on the top of Michael's body carefully, and quietly pressed his chest against Michael's chest. Brian could feel Michael's heartbeat that is pulsing steady rhythm. Belly to belly. The silky flanks that he stole the smooth touch from under the hem of T-shirt many times. And finally, cock to cock. Brian felt that pre-cum which oozed out from tip of his cock polluted Michael's soft but still beautiful cock.
"Oh, god...Mikey..."
From Michael's flanks, along the underside of his arms, Brian slid his hands up slowly. And then grabbed Michael's tiny wrists and pinned him onto a mattress.
"Brian."
"Can you feel me?"
Brian held his breath and asked Michael. Under Brian's enthusiastic gaze, Michael took Brian's blazing heat.
"Yes, I can feel you."
"Don't forget me, Michael. I never forget you until you come back to me. Your eyes, your lips, your skin, your voice, your smell..."
"...Brian."
Michael felt Brian's heart beating hard nervously. Michael freed his heavy arms from possessive restraint someway and wrapped his arms around Brian's neck. His fingers twined Brian's fine honey brown hair that he couldn't stop loving it.
"Give to me."
Michael whispered it to Brian's ear softly.
"But, Mikey...are you sure?"
Brian didn't want Michael to feel a sense of guilt for David. However, Michael's eyes that he captured were clear. Michael barely managed to lift his legs, and encircle Brian's hips and latched his foot onto Brian's tight buttocks. And then he held Brian's neck tightly again.
"Give to me, Brian. Come for me."
The wish of Michael was absolute command for Brian. Surprisingly, after having plundered Michael's lips with desperate intensity, Brian ejaculated on Michael's stomach and chest with short cry without some friction or even humping.
That happening was hard to imagine for Brian. Gasping for air, Brian trembled his body on top of Michael's.
"Oh shit, oh my god..."
"Shhh...Brian, it's okay."
Michael repeated it as stroking Brian's back until trembling calmed down. Although naked and holding each other with the man who loved his almost entire life, the fact that didn't even have erection physically was utterly dejecting Michael. Though, he was resonant with Brian emotionally. When Brian reached the orgasm, Michael was able to feel his own in his body.
"I couldn't wait for you."
Between embarrassment and ecstasy, Brian panted. Michael said as kissing Brian's cheeks.
"I cum with you in my heart, too."
"Mikey?"
"Yes?"
"Are you...? Umm, well..."
They stared silently for a while. Michael broke off silence full of the pain as caressing Brian's cheeks with the back of his fingers.
"Brian, it is not because of you. You know, I don't have much energy lately... I mean, because my blood is not enough."
"Oh...I see."
Brian couldn't assent to Michael's excuse but he mumbled and nodded. Michael cupped Brian's face by his hands gently.
"Take care of yourself. You shouldn't build the walls around yourself. You must not forget that you have people who care about you as well as me."
"I don't need except you."
"You know that I cannot be with you."
"Yeah, I know. And you don't need me. You have Doc and happy weird family, besides."
"Brian, I need you always. But I cannot expect it from you when it is not fair for you."
Michael kissed the top of Brian's head and muttered.
"I love you, Brian. You must never forget that."
"You too. Michael, you too."
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When had woke up, Brian noticed that Michael wasn't in his embrace, and was confused and looked around the circumference of bed. At that time, the bathroom's door opened, and when watched the soaking Michael who wrapped narrow waist with only small towel, and smiled at him, Brian thought that it was a dream.
"...Michael? Are you alright to move around?"
"Uhm...yeah, but I need some food and nice pot."
"Huh?"
"I'm hungry."
"And you want pot?"
"Uh-huh, by the way, I called Emmett. We meet at Babylon in 30 minutes."
"Well... I'm not sure that it is right thing. Several hours ago, you could hardly move. But now, you're suddenly saying that you want to go to club, and want to enjoy a drug."
"I'm fine now, am I?"
Michael spread his arms and showed Brian himself. Glowing pink for plentiful hot shower, surely Michael looked very fantastic. However, you must not be deceived about the delicious sight. Brian shook his head doubtfully.
"I don't think so. You are not in physical condition to be able to play around at the midnight."
"I'm fine, Brian."
Michael smiled resignedly. He didn't have the guarantee that become well from now on, and even if it is a little, he wanted to move when he could. And Michael needed something which reduce his headache for. Michael thought that marijuana was effective than the medicines, that probably make him sleep until morning.
"Don't you wanna dance with me?"
Michael asked to Brian impishly.
"Mikey..."
"Aww, I know it. You must go back to the loft to change your clothes. The suits of Armani are attractive, but, isn't suitable for the Babylon."
"Hey, Mikey, if you want pot, you don't need to go expressly to the Babylon. I have good stuff in loft always readily. We can party just two of us."
Brian said as brushing off drop of waters which dripped from Michael's damp hair at his fingers. Michael squinted his eyes and looked at Brian's face, and shook his head slowly after having considered it.
"Hmm...that suggestion is really tempting me, but I already talked to Emmett. I make a promise nonfulfillment many times and don't want to lose their trust."
"Oh, come on! They love you. They'll never dislike you."
"Ahh, Brian. Love has fickle nature. We must be always careful not to lose it."
"Ouch, Mikey."
Brian pressed his heart at his palm and fell down again onto a bed.
"You stung my heart cruelly."
"Don't worry, you can recover soon. OK, get up, Brian. We have to go."
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Michael didn't think that he set foot in Brian's loft by this visit. He wasn't to disturb them as far as Justin lived in here. Actually, Michael hesitated about invading the place of their life even if he knew that Justin wasn't there for the Cold War state with Brian. Michael looked at Brian from behind that stepped out from an elevator by fluid movement and opened the metal door. He still remembers the time when Brian dragged him for the first time in this place. Inside of the deserted huge space, how they were excited and talked about the possibility of the old building!
"Michael. Don't you come in?"
At Brian's voice, Michael was pulled back from his thought.
"I was just indulging in nostalgia."
Michael smiled bittersweetly, and entered the loft. Apparently the interior decoration of the loft didn't have difference with his memory. Although there two young men lived, that place didn't have a smell of living at all. Brian avoids that a room is stained in a disorderly manner above all. Michael thought Justin seemed to be done discipline well to Brian.
"Um, well...you know, I don't keep decent food here."
Brian said to Michael as scratching at his jaw.
"Don't bother. I can be satisfied with them."
Michael took the banana from the basket put onto the counter and raised it.
"Go to change your clothes. For a short time, maybe I can wait."
Michael mumbled as stuffing his mouth with a banana.
While Brian changed his clothes in clubbing outfit, Michael fumbled inside of the drawer of the kitchen counter. The weeds which were in the small wooden box should have been saved there unless Brian changed a stash. When the small box touched his fingertips, Michael leaked a sigh of the relief.
"Fuck...! What's wrong with you? Are you junkie or something?"
Michael cursed it in his mouth. Still, Michael couldn't strive to control himself he shook his head, and lit up joint. Michael inhaled blue smoke carefully. However, that action always attacked Michael's sensitive lungs and trachea and made him cough. Because he heard Michael's coughs at the bedroom Brian rolled his eyes.
"Mikey, you already began party without waiting for me?"
Brian remonstrated to Michael while climbing down the stairs of the bedroom.
"How does doc think if he knows that his little sweet wife smoke weeds at the headquarters of the bad friend?"
"You don't give a shit, even if how David will think of you."
Michael nudged Brian's chest softly.
"Yeah, You're so right."
Brian took a joint from between Michael's fingers and inhaled it deeply.
"Do you want to still go to Babylon?"
"They're expecting us."
"They don't count on your promise as long as I'm there with you."
"Mmm, probably. I think it is not a good tendency."
"However, they're used to it."
"Yeah, must be."
Michael nodded pensively. They continued passing joint in comfortable silence awhile. Brian lighted to second joint and muttered.
"Mikey, we have the history. Nobody can take it and cannot deny it. Even your good doctor."
"I know, and we have had helpless plenty bad habit."
"Definitely."
Brian laughed as handing joint to Michael. And he looked Michael inhaled it deeply and held in it. Frowning and puffing smoke, Michael smiled at Brian as blinking his eyes slowly.
"You're bad influence, you know that?"
"I agree it."
Brian stared at beloved face as smiling fondly. He couldn't yet believe that there is Michael to distance who can touch by his hand in his loft. It was totally dream comes true for Brian. Abruptly, Brian uttered an animal groan and grabbed Michael's round ass cheeks impudently and lifted him up onto the breakfast-counter. After squeaking, Michael tilted his head as giggling.
"Jesus, Brian! What are you going to do?"
"Kissing you."
Bending his head, Brian caught both sides of Michael's face and whispered against Michael's plump lips. As licking Michael's bottom lip, Brian caressed Michael's cheeks with pads of his thumbs.
"You know, I always loved kissing you."
Waiting Michael's lips slightly open, Brian deepened his kiss. Brian pursued Michael's velvety tongue gently. Immediately their kisses heated up with growing passion. Brian's hands crept on every place of Michael's body while demanding Michael's mouth. He sensed struggle of Michael by the corner of his head, but pretended to not conscious of it intentionally. And furthermore, he continued chasing him persistently.
"Bri...no..."
Biting and sucking tender skin of Michael's neck, Brian couldn't think he can stop this assault. Michael's scent was completely enchanting him. Brian's hands are tweaking and rubbing Michael's each nipple from the top of his shirt relentlessly, and he shoved his body between Michael's thighs and pushed them wider forcibly. Michael whimpered in his throat and resisted power of Brian who was trying to push down his body onto a counter.
"Brian, please...stop. I...I can't... don't ruin our memory."
Michael moaned feebly. His reason became dull with drugs, but couldn't yield it to unruly desire. When gazed at Michael's tearful eyes, Brian had to untie the restriction that he imposed on Michael. Brian tore himself from Michael who lay onto a counter as getting up his upper body slowly.
"Shit...! I'm sorry..."
Brian ran a hand through his hair in agitation and scratched at his nape.
"I couldn't suppress my arousal."
"I know, Brian."
Michael closed his eyelids and muttered breathlessly.
"It's my fault."
"No, Michael. You didn't do any bad things."
Enduring screaming that shallow action of his own, Brian begged to Michael.
"But please, don't blame me, Michael."
(Because I love you so bad I couldn't resist.)
Brian added so it inwardly.
Brian brings his arms beneath Michael's back, and drew up Michael's body tenderly.
"I promise I never do what you don't want."
Michael nodded silently and accepted the promise.
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The Babylon was crowded as hell as ever, but they were able to find the friends immediately in the fixed position of the bar.
"Wow, sweetie! You really made it!!"
Emmett wrapped his long arms around Michael's body and hugged him warmly.
"Mmm...However, you seem to smell of sinful banned things."
"Oh, is it too obvious?"
Michael chuckled as exchanging significant looks with Brian. Brian said while leaning on the bar counter nonchalantly.
"It was Mikey who brought it up first. He took out pot from my drawer by himself."
"Did I? I don't remember it."
Michael stuck out his long tongue and laughed.
"Anyway, we'll need toast."
Ted said as ordering beer from a bartender. Emmett described it about splendid dinner of Ted that Michael failed to eat, and Michael listened attentively to it eagerly. Brian scrutinized the state of Michael carefully while hearing their easy exchanges. A few hours ago, Michael who seemed to be very ill-condition stood in space of the crowded and intense loud music and could have a pleasant chat with friends; it was totally wonder for Brian. As Michael said, he may be really mere anemia. If Michael is a really terrible disease, probably he should have to take care of himself more. Brian has begun to think somehow so to persuade into himself.
"So, I didn't think that you brought him here."
Brian turned around for the voice that he heard from his rear.
"Michael can go anywhere at his will."
Brian answered morosely reluctantly.
"I know. However, he'll give it up if you prevent it."
"Um, sorry, it is a wrong guess."
Brian said to Brady. Brady shrugged his shoulders and smiled.
"Oh, good, I was relieved to hear it. You must not disturb his peace."
"I don't do that. But, I have to say; this is none of fucking your business."
Just this man was a former trick of Michael, only that, it became enough reason for Brian that hates him. Brian has begun to be irritated at conversation with Brady. It wasn't acceptable for Brian that this man pretends to know everything at their relationship.
"You know nothing about us."
"Maybe."
Brady admitted it readily and stared at Brian's glaring eyes. Inspecting Brian's real intention wasn't difficult thing for him.
"But I think it's impossible to you to let him go."
"You're running further again. Why I have to do it? Mikey belong to me. It is not a big problem, even if he is not with me now."
"What do you two talk about stealthily?
When Michael who held bottle of the beer in both hands came over between them, they couldn't help smiling. Michael turned his contagious happy smile toward them while handing them beer.
"This is a treat of porno king."
Brady raised it to Ted after having received beer from Michael.
"Thank you. Ted."
"You're welcome, buddy."
Ted nodded to Brady and came back in a heated discussion of the business expansion with Emmett immediately. Michael shook his head and said to Brian and Brady.
"Christ! When did they come to do business talk in Babylon during?"
"Just wait. They return to the men's ass and cock again soon."
Brian smirked and drank his beer at a single gulp. And then wrapped Michael's shoulder possessively in his arm.
"Dance with me, Mikey."
"Sure."
While dragging to the dance floor by Brian, Michael smiled at Brady and waved his hand innocently. Brady looked at their disappearing in a crowd. Brady had no idea how Michael had dealt with a desire for exclusive possession of Brian. However, eventually that disquieting pathetic drama will be over if Michael returns to Portland to his new family. Brady was learning various things from his new friends. The conclusion that he calculated from those knowledge was this.
It cannot have been a short term that Michael waited for Kinney. Because patient Michael became impatient and gave waiting up, it cannot have been short time Michael had waited for Brian Kinney. Brady can imagine what torture that the stud of Liberty Avenue imposed on Michael was. He was keeping Michael waiting voluntarily without saying 'wait for me'. However, Michael stopped waiting at last and went to the man who wanted him. Probably Brian Kinney cannot run after Michael. Sadly, Brian Kinney is Brian Kinney after all. The Brian Kinney's pride is fucking huge. If Michael had married, Brian Kinney will not still less run after Michael. But Brady has not guessed love of Brian for Michael deeply. If Brian is trying to regain Michael, how does it turn out? Can Michael really bear a violent attack of Brian? Or he gives up peaceful life and will choose to take an unrealistic dream? Thus it surely becomes quite a spectacle. At all events he intended to make sure of the whole story of the thing.
After drank up his beer and watched two men who are dancing for a while, Brady joined in an argument of Emmett and Ted.
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-- T B C --
