"Hello everyone! Sorry for the long wait and thanks for sticking so far with my story (: I'm very grateful to have all of you following it! I know some of you were a bit thrown off because Joker said the "Desire/Surrender/Power" quote to Panne, but I just want to say that taking it from one of the New 52 Suicide Squad comics, Joker does tell Harley that she was never the first one and there were many others before her. So just leaving that there, please bear with me a little longer and I'm sure it'll all tie in together nicely further on. Now I hope you enjoy this chapter!" –Katmeroo
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Nine
The Clown's Mark
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Panne's eyes fluttered open; her vision blurry, slowly adjusting to the surroundings. She was lying down on her bed. A shadow lingered in the corner of her eye; she shifted her head to the side and noticed Jonny sitting on a chair next to her. He was holding a tablet, earbuds plugged in. He noticed her movement and turned his head towards her, taking off the earbuds. His face lit up as he saw she was awake, but his smile died down as he noticed the pain in her face.
"Hey, how are you feeling?" Jonny asked softly.
"I feel…weird." She muttered as she shifted on her bed, slowly sitting up. "Feels like I have a sunburn in all of my…" She stopped speaking as she noticed she was covered in bandages. Her right arm, from the knuckles up to her shoulder. Her left hand was covered and her upper arm as well. Her chest, behind her neck and her back, also had bandages. She touched her face and felt she had one in the side of her right temple.
"Jonny, what happened to me?" She tried to conceal the panic in her voice as she ran her hands down her thighs, feeling bandages there too.
"What was the last thing you remember?" Jonny stood up and sat right next to her on the edge of the bed.
"I…I remember getting here after…after the warehouse." She ran her hands through her loose hair, getting it out of her face. She held her head for a moment, as she tried to remember. Only blurry fragments came and went, not clear enough for her to grasp what had taken place right after she had gotten off Joker's car.
"He gassed you, it's probably why you can't remember. You've been out for a while. But now it's time to take off the bandages. I can help you if you-"
"Don't. I can do it myself, I just need to be alone."
Jonny looked at her as she stared at the bandages of her hands. He felt bad for the things that have happened to her. He felt responsible and guilty for her consequences. He was a coward, a coward for not standing up for his friend. She was determined to give her life for a young boy she didn't even knew, yet he wouldn't do the same for his best friend. A coward, and a big one too.
"I understand…" He said as he headed out towards the door. "I'm headed to the club soon to meet with the others, you are welcome to come if you are up for it. Just let me know, ok?" She said nothing, not taking her eyes from her hands. Jonny frowned slightly as he closed the door. He walked down the corridor, towards the kitchen bar. He took out a whiskey bottle and poured down a shot.
Panne ran her fingers through her bandaged arms. Had he burned her? Cut her? Did she have horrible scars? She got out of bed and walked towards her bathroom. She stared at herself in the mirror, noticing she still had smudged streaks on her cheeks from her makeup. She touched the patch that covered her right temple and carefully removed it.
"Then Panne Yuen-Da will be no more. There will only be Panda, and I'll make sure of that."
Joker's words came across her thoughts as she looked at her reflection. Figuring out what he meant by that as she touched lightly her brand new tattoo. She had the word "PANDA" in a peculiar font tattooed vertically the length of her temple. She began unwrapping her bandages, revealing more tattoos. Her right arm was completely inked black, all the way from her shoulder to her wrist. She looked at her new arm and could've sworn that her vision blurred. She took off the bandages on both knuckles revealing a bold letter in each one. Her right fist spelled "PAIN", as the other spelled "BEAR".
Her hands shook in rage. She ripped off the bandages on her upper left arm, revealing three horizontal lines, the one in the middle being thicker than the two on each side. She hissed as she took off the bandage she felt on the back of her neck. She grabbed a hand mirror and turned around to see the reflection from the other side. It was a classic Ying yang logo tattooed on her neck. She looked at her chest that was completely bandaged all around her back as well. She reached for the drawers and took out a small sharp pair of scissors to cut the bandage from the bottom of her armpit all the way down to her hip, proceeding to rip all of it off faster. She felt as a lump grew on her throat as she looked at her bare chest in the mirror. She had in the very center of her chest, right above her breasts, what seem to be a wing spread robin bird with a skull on his belly. Right under her breasts, aligned with the bird tattoo she had a mainstream batman logo as well. She turned to her left side and saw a big smiling mouth that stretched all the way from where her breast ended down to her hipbone.
She thought it couldn't get any worse until she turned on her back also using the small hand mirror to see. Her upper back had the words "Joke's on You" from shoulder to shoulder with a big smiling mouth right underneath it. Then right on her lower back in a pretty cursive, she had the words "Desire. Surrender. Power".
She finished unwrapping the few bandages left on both her legs. Her right thigh had many "HAHAHAHA" scribbled all over. On her other thigh she had the panda logo of Panda Purveyors, Joker's fake company. Lastly on her left calf she had written "Daddy's Panda Fighter" in what seem to be handwriting. She stared at herself in the mirror for what seem to be forever. This was the new her, she wasn't Panne anymore. Panne had died in the warehouse along with Robin. She wanted to cry but the tears wouldn't come out. She traced the bird on her chest and gave a sad smile. She then proceeded to get in the shower for a cold bath.
As the water ran down her body she could see her tattoos bleeding ink. She was upset, she was angry, she was furious. Her face distorted as she tried to cry, but failed miserably. She pressed her back against the cold wall and let out painful scream. As she slid down until sitting in the icy shower tiles, she kept crying even though no tears came out. Curling her hands into fists so tightly her knuckles went white in seconds.
This is what Joker wanted. To break her, to pull her apart and then stitch her back together. He didn't want her how she was; he wanted a completely new person who she clearly wasn't…or so she thought. It was funny really, just a sequence of unfortunate events that took place in her life. She could feel herself losing it. Losing the little sanity she still had. She stared down at her thighs, reading the many Ha's the Joker had tattooed on her.
"All it takes is one very bad day." She remembered Joker's words. Was this her really bad day? The day that would tip her over the edge?
"Ha…ha…ha…" she read out loud, followed by an actual giggle. She brought her hand up to cover her mouth but that just made her giggle more. "Mmm…heheheh..." Becoming louder and louder until she was actually laughing. Cackling uncontrollably under the stream of the shower.
Life is a joke.
She understood it now.
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Joker was in his usual private area in the club. Wearing a dazzling gold jacket with a black collar. His black shirt unbuttoned as usual showing a heavy golden chain dangling on his chest. He was staring down the glassed balcony towards the dancing people below him. He had a drink in his hand which he poured himself, no longer trusting anyone to hand him a drink since the party incident. He's upper lip slightly twitched as he brought the cup to his lips and chugged it all in one swing, tossing the glass carelessly behind him.
The loud music banged against his ears, and he would wince each time the bass would drop. He usually had no problem with it, but tonight he felt very irritated. He thought coming back to his club would make a difference to his mood but he felt the same. Angry. Annoyed. Sleepless. Alone? No, impossible. He never felt the need to be with anyone, why would he feel it now? He shook his head and closed his eyes.
He searched between the music tracks in his head and hit play to a classical tune. A haunting melody, one that he could only describe as some kind of dark waltz music. He inhaled and exhaled as he played the tune in his head. When he opened his eyes once again he took another look at the crowd and spotted someone familiar.
"Panda?" He spoke to himself.
No longer listening to the loud music in the club, he turned around and walked past his men who were dancing, playing cards and drinking. With a gold and purple cane on his hand, he made his way as he walked down the stairs amongst the ecstatic people on the dance floor. He stood still, looking between the crowds to see if he could find her.
He noticed a recognizable tall man who stood out among the mass. It was Jonny Frost, trying to make his way through the people. He saw the Joker and changed his direction towards him.
"Boss, what are you doing down here?!" Jonny raised his voice so Joker could hear him over the loud beat.
"Did you bring her?!" Joker yelled back at him, his eyes still fixated on the crowd.
"Who? Panne...err…I mean, Panda?"
"No shit, Frosty. The fucking tooth fairy!" He pushed Jonny as he made his way back to his booth before Frost could respond back. He could've sworn he saw her in the crowd. He was anxious to see how she had turned out after that little make over he had given her. Maybe this time around, she would not forget who she belongs to. That very moment the corner of his eye caught Panda going in the restroom at the far back. He quickly followed and ran all the way inside the lady's room. It was packed with young women who turned to look at him. Most shocked at the sight of him, and others he could feel the flirtatious look in them.
"Out! Get Out! All of you!" He pulled out his gun aiming at the ceiling, making the girls scream in horror as they all ran past him. All but one. He closed the door and locked it, as he put his gun back into his holster.
"Well, aren't you gonna say hello to Daddy?" He stretched his arms wide, a smile on his face.
Panne didn't look at him as she leaned against the sink retouching her dark lipstick. She wore her hair in her usual space buns with blunt bangs that were recently cut right above her eyebrows, framing her long face. She had a dark olive halter short dress with a slit in the middle of her chest exposing all of the tattoos on her torso. It also had an exposed back showing off the ones on her upper back. She slowly turned to face him, she forced a smile as she walked towards him.
The Joker stretched his hand for her to take, and as she did he gave her a round twirl, whistling as he took in all of her.
"Look at cha! You are glowing!" He held her at arm's length as he inspected how the tattoos had turned out "Beautiful!" He said as he gave her a wicked grin as he held her face and leaned in to give her a kiss but she turned her face to the side, his lips landing on her cheek instead. He almost felt slightly insulted and this made his upper lip twitch. He forcefully grabbed her face and made her look at him.
"Playing hard to get is that it? Hm?! Let me tell ya something, you brought this to yourself."
She didn't say a word, she just looked at him dead in the eye.
"SPEAK!" Joker yelled at her face already loosing his little patience. Panne couldn't help but to giggle as she squinted her almond eyes. He cocked his head to the side confused by her sudden mood swing. Until she could finally stop she regained her posture and looked at him in the eyes once again.
"I hate you." She said without hesitating. She wanted him to know she hated him for what he did to her, for what he made her become. The Joker let go of her face and took a step back. A grin taking over his features.
"You are welcome." He said as he made a little theatrical bow, then he pointed to the door "After ya!" and Panne gave him another forced smile as she turned around and opened the door, rolling her eyes.
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"Hey Frost!" Cooper shook Jonny's hand as he joined their booth. Clayton nodded at Jonny as he took a sit next to them. Jonny noticed a young man sitting opposite of him next to Clayton.
"And you are?" Jonny asked as he raised an eyebrow.
"The name's Jensen. They told me I'm going to be the new Titan…whatever that means!" He chuckled nervously as he looked back to Clayton and Cooper.
"Jensen here is Frank's replacement. He knows our lil bro back in Australia!" Cooper said as he put an arm over Jonny's shoulders. Jonny seem surprised as he found out that the twins had a younger brother.
"I've worked with their brother back home. We managed to steal some pretty rad diamonds. I actually brought some for the boss as a token for accepting me in his gang." Jensen took a small bag out of his coat and spilled some diamonds on his palm to show everyone at the table.
"Bloody Hell! You caught those with Digger?" Clayton asked surprised as he took a diamond between his thumb and index finger. "Can ya just tell him to lose the bloody stupid name he uses next time ya see him?"
"Seriously, who tha hell calls himself Captain Boomerang? Especially when ya still live with your nana." Cooper scoffed. "I miss my nana…"
Jonny's eyes widened "Did you just say Captain Boomerang?! He's like one of the best thieves in Australia, right? He's robbed a shit ton of banks! Can't believe all this time you've been related and I didn't know."
"It's a small world, lad" Clayton brought up his beer and took another sip before speaking again "By the way, how's the lassie holding up?"
"She actually took it a lot better than I expected." Jonny's brows furrowed as he thought of Panne "She seems to be holding up, I mean, she's a strong girl…I'm sure she'll be fine." Or at least he thought she would. He turned his head to the side and saw how Panne entered the room with Joker following behind.
"Wow…Who's that?" Jensen whistled as he too, stared at Panne. Clayton quickly elbowed him so that Jensen would look back at him.
"Don't stare too much at the sheila if ya wanna keep yer eyes, lad. She's the Boss' property." He warned Jensen.
"New guys usually don't last a week and 80% of the times Joker kills them himself." Jonny added to the conversation, making Jensen lose a bit of color on his face.
Suddenly two hands slammed against the table making everyone jump in unison, except for Jonny who had already seen them coming.
"I heard my name…" The Joker grinned from ear to ear as he pushed Jensen with his hip almost sitting on him, but he quickly scooted giving Joker the space to sit with them. Panne made her way and sat next to Jonny who left her a space as well.
"We were just telling the new guy what not to do on his first week on the job." Jonny said casually to Joker, who turned his head to look at the man next to him. Jensen gave him a small nervous smile as his forehead started to sweat due to Joker's presence.
"Aren't cha a handsome fella? What's your name?" Joker laughed as he ran his hand on the side of Jensen's short blonde hair making the young man swallow hard.
"I'm Jensen Anders, sir… I also br-brought you a gift." Jensen stuttered as he took out the small pouch from his coat.
"How thoughtful…" Joker said as he took the pouch in his hands and spilled its contents on the table, staring at the shiny diamonds, inspecting them in the light. "I already like you, Jenboy. Ya better take notes from the new kid, you old buffoons!" He said at the other men after patting Jensen on the back, then putting away the diamonds and hid them on the inside of his jacket.
Jensen looked at Panne and gave her a small smile but she looked away, seeming uninterested in what was taking place. She began to hear Joker's voice in the distance, a blur as it got mixed between the loud music from the club. She closed her eyes letting the time pass by.
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"I hate you"
The Joker sat in his room in front of the many screens with the cameras around Gotham. He thought of Panne's words at the club. She hated him it seems, well that was to be expected. She had to learn a lesson, he had to punish her, even though what he did didn't seem like a punishment in his eyes. He didn't understand why she was so mad about. He only inked her, he only marked her; the clown's mark.
"Pete, what took you so long?!" Joker yelled at his personal tattoo artist, who calmly entered the room where an unconscious Panne was strapped to a table. He started setting up his equipment as Joker watched him intently. Pete handed him a pair of disposable purple gloves for him to use.
"So what are we doing on the girl?" Pete asked the clown, but he only grinned as he grabbed the tattoo gun.
"Let's improvise."
He let out a snarl as he played with a deck of cards as the cameras automatically switched to different sites around the city. He pressed a button and the monitors switched to the cameras inside the building. He saw some of the boys in the kitchen bar, while others played in the game room area.
"What a joke…" He muttered to himself. He zoomed in to the camera in Panne's room and saw her working out. He remembered the look in her eyes earlier that day as she told him she hated him. It was the first time he couldn't tell whether she was lying or not. Maybe for the first time, she was telling the truth. He suddenly stood up and stormed out of his room.
Panne began to take off her clothes so she could freshen up after her workout session. She then heard the knob of her door turning and she quickly ran for her gun and aimed at it. The Joker emerged and closed the door behind him, a smile creeping the corners of his lips as he saw what was before him. She was in her underwear, pointing a gun at him.
"This is quite a welcoming!" He laughed as he walked closer towards Panne who didn't lower her gun.
"What do you want?" She glared at him, her stance firm.
"Get dressed." He glared at her back "We are going for a ride, don't make me wait."
The ride was a silent one, Panne was wearing her Panda suit with the mascot head on her lap.
"Do you have any idea where we are going?" J asked her, his eyes still on the road. She looked at him and shook her head slowly. "I want you to improvise and follow your instincts. Remember, you are the Pain Bear." He touched the tattoos on her knuckles and let out a big smile as they stopped at what seem to be a worn out pub. One where all the scum of the city will go to. "Put it on." He motioned to the Panda head, and she did as she was told before getting out of the car. As they both went inside, every single head turned towards them. The place smelled of sweat and cigars, and it irritated Panne. Why did he bring her here?
A tall black man walked towards them and nodded at the Joker "He's down the basement, prepped and ready."
"Well then, we better get down to business!" He clapped his hands together before making their way to the stairs behind the bar where the basement was. There was a man hanged from the ceiling upside down with a tape on his mouth. When the man saw these two beings stand in front of him, he jerked up and started wiggling like a worm.
Joker put his index finger in front of his own lips "shhhh…Quiet now…um…" he looked at the tall man in the room and he mouthed the name of the prisoner for Joker to say "Ronald!" The Joker leaned in and ripped the tape from the Ronald's lips "You know why you are here, don't cha?" The man pleaded to be let go but Joker turned around motioning the tall man to release him from the ceiling. Cutting the rope, making Ronald fall hard on the ground unceremoniously.
"So tell me Ronaaald… What's our friend Black Mask up to?"
Ronald stayed quiet as he brought himself up to his knees "I ain't telling you shit, clown." And the Joker smiled and looked at Panda "Do ya thing!"
"I want you to improvise and follow your instincts. Remember, you are the Pain Bear"
That's what he had told her and that's what she was going to do. He needed to break this man and breaking things was what she was best in. She strut forward and kneed the man in the face with so much force she instantly broke his nose. She then grabbed him by the collar and raised her fist but stopped there as she looked back to Joker.
"Come on, Ronny. Ya gotta talk or the Panda here will keep breaking your bones and I won't tell him to stop."
The man hesitated before speaking, his face all bloodied "F-fuck you…"
The Joker winced at his words "ooooh…Wrong choice of words, pal." He then nodded at Panda and she without question landed her gloved fist on his face, then another and another until she let go and he fell on his back, breathing heavily. She grabbed his leg and stomped on his knee breaking it inward and Ronald gasped at the sudden pain and then let out a loud scream as he held his now broken leg.
Panne on the other hand, was actually enjoying herself. Inflicting physical pain into others was something she had always enjoyed. It's quite cynical indeed, but it's what had made her pursue fighting as a sport. Only now, it was her job. She began to understand what Joker had been trying to tell her all this time. He wanted her to let go, to finally uncage the demons she had been fighting with all her life.
Joker tried again to make Ronald talk but he once again refused to speak, so he gave Panne another nod and she knelt on him and continued to pound fists against his face. She stopped and took off her glove and then continued to punch him without stopping. She liked how it felt on her bear knuckles; it was a therapy for her. She released all her anger and frustration on each blow against Ronald and it felt so good she couldn't contain the smile on her face.
Ronald patted the floor several times as a sign that he gave up, he was going to speak. Joker halted Panne to see what the bum had to say but saw how Ronald gagged on words not really speaking coherently as he choked on his own blood. The Joker scoffed "What a shame, I'm sure we can find somebody else." He leaned in grabbing Panne's shoulder and whispered "Go crazy, love…"
"N-no, p-p-ple-ase!"
Ronald tried to cover his face with his arms but failed miserably as she had now switched between arms as she landed punches on his face. Right. Left. Right. Left. Ronald's face was becoming unrecognizable and with a smashed nose he was choking in his blood until he could no longer breathe and eventually die. Panne kept hitting him even after dead.
"Come on, Panda, that's enough." The Joker spoke. As Panne slowly came to a stop she no longer saw Ronald, she saw the girl she pounded to death back at college. She stood up and stormed out, the Joker behind her. Once they got in the car she took off her helmet and gasped for air.
"That felt…good." She breathed heavily as she looked at Joker who looked at her back with joy in his eyes. She was being shaped beautifully, or so he thought she was.
"Oh and that's just the beginning!" Joker pulled her in for a hungry kiss.
"I apologize again for such a loooong wait for this chapter. After classes ended, I got caught up with a Game of Thrones cosplay for a con, if you wanna see it check our Instagram "LimeSpiderPR". I have a Harley and Joker cosplay with my boyfriend as well. So anyways, this chapter honestly took so long because I had a huuuge block. I had such a hard time, as in literally writing a couple sentences each day whenever I remembered too, but I promise it'll get better. Please tell me what you think, it really helps me write more. Thank you all for reading!" -Katmeroo
