DISCLAIMER: I do NOT own Naruto. Naruto and its characters are created by Masashi Kishimoto. This is purely Fanfiction and had been written for entertainment purposes only, without any intention of infringing upon any copyright.
Desires of the Heart
Part I: Confliction
Chapter 9
Reflections
Sakura didn't feel up to looking around the village as they walked past the gates. The guards have been alarmingly hospitable in letting them through, yelling at others to let them pass without trouble. Itachi, Kisame nor Deidara had spared a glance towards them. But she had raised her tired head from where it rested on Deidara's chest and looked them over. There hospitability could easily be explained by their fear for their lives, she thought, pitying them.
Tobi hadn't returned from whatever horrible he was doing out there. So their team was only Itachi, Kisame and Deidara. She and Deidara were at the back, their pace rather sluggish, preceded by Kisame who made it a point not to venture too fast ahead like his partner. Itachi had been travelling the entire journey way uh ahead of them, something for which she was grateful. Despite the words that she had made to herself, she could do very well avoiding him as long as possible before she had enough rest and food in her system to think all of it through. There was much to think about.
But it was proving to be impossible for her to think any more than that as her head whirled again, making her close her eyes and rest her head back in Deidara's chest. Deidara had been kind enough to lend her his shoulder to rest on all those hours ago, and had been even kinder to pick her up in his arms when Itachi had announced his intention of continuing their journey despite her clause. Deidara had been carrying her for what she deduced as the last three hours. She would have to find a way to thank him later.
That reminded her of all the things that she had to thank him for, and apologize for. The list seemed to get longer and longer. And she had only been around for about five days only. Who knew how much she would be owing to Deidara by the time all this came to end.
Although her eyes were closed, she could hear the noises of scrapping feet against the gravel as people hurried to move out of their way to let them pass. She could hear the whimpers of little children as they were held back by their parents from getting in their way. There were a few sharps cries of infants as their mothers cradled them desperately in hopes to calm them down. She could feel the constricting air.
Sluggishly she turned her head away from Deidara's chest and peered into the crowds. All man and woman alike averted their eyes from hers the instant their eyes met. Women drew their shawls closer to themselves protectively. Dropping her gaze further down to the children lingering by their parents' leg, clutching as firmly as their tiny hands would allow. Sakura was pleased to see that the children didn't flinch away when she met their eyes. With much effort, she smiled gently at them. And immediately they averted their eyes and scrambled to hide behind their parents' legs.
Her smile faded and she looked back up at the people. The distrust and hatred that swirled along with fear deep in their eyes and hearts made her blood turn cold. Right, she was no longer deemed as someone to be trusted. Not with the bloody Akatsuki cloak that she was adorned in, nor with the company she was associated with, never with the promise that burned deep in her heart. She sighed and turned her head away.
"Why hasn't anyone come to stop us yet?" She whispered breathily, but knew that Deidara had heard her.
The blonde's chest rumbled in a chuckle against her cheek, "They are afraid, yeah."
Kisame who was a few steps ahead of them, undoubtedly understanding the train of their conversation, joined in.
"Besides, this is mostly a civilian village. There is not much they can do against three international S-ranked missing-nins." She could hear the grin in his voice, and flinched.
"But won't you run into trouble if other shinobi come snooping in, seeking for information? The villager may be as frightened of them just as much as they are of you... it wouldn't be a problem to get information out of them..."
Kisame downright laughed, strangely making her feel like an idiot. She could feel Deidara's chest rumble as well in silent laughter as he politely tried to refrain from laughing out at her. Opening her eyes, she turned her head around and glared at Kisame.
"What's so funny?"
"Heh. Tell me Pinky, you have tried to track us down for years haven't you?"
She frowned, 'Just what is he trying to say?'
Kisame smirked, "I'm sure you tried 'snooping around, seeking for information', didn't have much luck though did you?"
Reluctantly she realized that he was right. All these time they had assumed that Akatsuki simply was too good in hiding their trails; never imagining the prospect that they didn't need to hide in the first place. She didn't reply which made Kisame laugh again.
Stupid Kisame.
"Where are we going?" She reverted to whispering, knowing that she was too frail to keep up the banter with someone with an energy-reserve like the shark-nin.
"We are gonna crash in some inn," Deidara sounded like he was yawning, "Speaking of which... wasn't it located somewhere around here?"
"You'd see that you're about to walk into a wall as soon as you undo the seal," Kisame replied, and suddenly vanishing from the sight as he entered the boundaries of some kind of an enchantment.
"I forgot all about that, yeah. Kai."
Sakura wondered what it was that needed to be unsealed but didn't have the energy to open her eyes and see it for herself.
"What do you mean?" Her voice was diminishing.
"This inn is specifically made for shinobis. It's like if you can't trace out the inn in the first place, you don't deserve to sleep in it." He rolled his eyes, "Or something like that, yeah."
"Weird."
"Tell me about it, yeah." Shifting Sakura, so she was now being carried by only one arm, he bought his other hand to form the seals, "Kai."
When Sakura had gathered enough energy to open her eyes next, there stood an average looking structure covered with neon lights announcing its very existence.
"Here we go."
With light steps, Deidara walked over to the door and entering into the quiet lobby decorated rather humbly for shinobis and in a dark but sophisticated shade. Kisame was leaning against the wall, a few steps away from them as other shinobis, rouges, she recognized despite her hazy sight, scrambled past trying to keep their eyes as averted from their direction as possible lest they be killed for just a stray glance.
And Kisame seemed to take a pleasure in frightening them more as he fixed his beady outlandish eyes on them and flicked his tongue over his lips, making a disgusting smacking sound. Sakura winced as she had the sudden desire to puke.
"Oh Lord...Kisame has probably made half of them pee in their pants by now," she whispered into Deidara's chest, giggling lightly. Deidara's chest rumbled in a sign of agreement.
She noticed with satisfaction that his other hand had again come to enclose around her, showering her with warmth. Deidara radiated a warm kind of warmth, not the kind that she felt when Itachi was around. Deidara's one was more comfortable and less... alluring.
Frowning slightly, she averted her thoughts to the more welcoming prospect of sleeping in a bed. She could already feel the sensation of her back hitting a soft mattress... She must have moaned out loud, because Deidara looked most amused when her eyes flew open, a teasing smile on his lips. She flushed.
Lowering his voice to the point that it sounded husky, "What're you thinking about, hmmm?"
The way he dragged on the 'hm' made her swallow, "N-Nothing."
A reply was about to cross his smirking lips when Itachi, who had been conversing with the receptionist so long made his presence known, the keys dangling from his fingers jingled lightly.
"We are staying the night. Kisame and Deidara will take one room," he tossed a key at Kisame's direction, giving the time for Sakura to draw the conclusion that she would have her own room... The joy! Eagerly, her gaze fell down to the Uchiha's hands which held the keys, or the key. She frowned, puzzled.
Deidara also seemed to have noticed her concern and asked, the frown on his brows reaching to his voice, "Where is her key?"
Kisame who was already walking off, rumbled with what Sakura deduced as muted laughter. What was there to laugh about?
"There will be no need for the kunoichi to have one room to herself."
Sakura blinked, her exhausted mind working in an overload as it tried to make sense of what Itachi had just said. It seemed like Deidara's mind was fitter and faster to draw conclusions than hers, "What, she is going to share with you?" He asked jokingly.
"Is there a problem with that?"
There was a long pause where Sakura couldn't even bring her mind to comprehend the whole situation, much less protest to it. Deidara seemed to be equally in a loss of words. She watched him from her position within his arms and saw his mouth opening and then closing a couple of times but unable to say anything before finally his jaw tightened and a frown adorned his brows.
"Yes, I do have a problem it, Uchiha."
And then the glaring contest began.
Sakura didn't have the strength to look over at the Uchiha but knew from experience that how scary it must have looked. She mentally cursed Deidara for being such a big fool as to look into the eyes of an Uchiha who possessed Mangekyou. She had thought he knew better than that.
The atmosphere was dark and heavy and she knew she could do little than to pray to Kami that Itachi didn't decide to get pissed, after all she had witnessed the turn of events the last time he had decided that he had enough of Deidara. And this time she wouldn't even have enough chakra or strength to put the blonde back together in one piece.
"Don't be foolish, Deidara." The coldness in Itachi's voice was piercing.
Deidara bit out, his eyes in a mad gleam, "I'm not being foolish, yeah. She deserves to have her own room."
"If I recall right, you were justifying her right to lie among the dead just yesterday, and now," Sakura could hear the smirk in his velvety voice, "You are fighting for her right to have her own bed. Certainly an improvement in the women department."
Sakura didn't know whether to laugh or cry. God, this was Uchiha-FREAKING-Itachi joking! But she was too exhausted to as much as chuckle.
Deidara's anger flared and Sakura felt both his pulse and blood rise in a maddening pace as he growled, "Why you-"
She decided it was best if this ended right here, both for herself and for Deidara. Careful to drive her mind blank of the Uchiha's Sharringan glare lest she was overcame with fright, she slowly raised her hand to cup Deidara's cheek, effectively cutting off his words and gaining his attention. His eyes still hadn't lost its anger as they met her barely open ones.
"I'll be fine," she tried to assure him, although she felt not the slightest bit of it. Given her lousy act, she wasn't surprised that he didn't buy it. But something in her eyes or maybe her touch made him swallow as he gazed up at Itachi for a faction on second before looking deep into her eyes again. It held gentleness in them that she was sure she didn't deserve.
The amusement that was there in Itachi's voice the previous moment flickered out just as quickly, "Let's go, kunoichi."
Quick to follow his orders, lest he inflicted his anger on Deidara, she motioned the blonde to put her down on her feet. He hesitated but helped her down on her feet anyways. She could see Itachi's back as he sauntered away. Breathing in, she took a moment to gain her footing and let her whirling head reside, before she let go of Deidara's helping hand.
She wobbled on her feet but was pleased to see that she didn't lose her balance. Testing herself, she took a few shaky steps and seeing that all was well, she turned back at Deidara and gave a small smile along with a nod of assurance. The nod was probably what caused the whirling in her head to return as everything around her spun and she was vaguely aware of falling down. Deidara's widened eyes whirled in her mind's eye...
It didn't surprise her that someone had caught her before she had hit the floor. They were shinobi, they had top class reflex. She raised her head to meet Deidara's eyes in gratitude, but could only get drowned in the gallows of dark. She gasped involuntarily.
"U-uchiha-san," she mumbled, trying to pull herself together and away from him as much as possible. But by the firmness of his hold it didn't look like he planned on letting go anytime soon, or perhaps it was just because of her fragility that his hold so delicate seemed so powerful.
"I also find it annoying to waste my time in catching tired kunoichis who tends to fall asleep on their feet..."
Her throat went dry.
Before she could protest, she felt herself being lifted off her feet and moving across the hall in a grace that she could only dream of possessing. The fact that Itachi was carrying her over his shoulders disturbed her less than it should have. Maybe, it was because she had gotten used to it by the past few long hours by being carried around by Deidara. Maybe that's why the bloody smell that seemed to emit from the man's cloak didn't disturb her. Maybe that's why Itachi didn't seem so different from Deidara.
'But they are different, so much,' she said to herself as she peeked a glance at Deidara over Itachi's shoulder and found it impossible to look away from the captivating blue ones.
Itachi was cold and Deidara was nice. Itachi killed, and Deidara killed too. But where Itachi took away everything from her, Deidara tried to give her as much as possible...
Sakura didn't think it was possible for her to justify anything anymore, not with the mind that struggled to slip off to dreamland. She didn't break her gaze from Deidara's all the way to room. As the keys jiggled in Itachi's hand when he opened the door, she gathered the last bit of her strength to smile at Deidara who hadn't moved a muscle from where he had been standing, looking at her. Whether her smile was successful in assuring his mind, she didn't know because her eyes dropped and she felt everything slowly fading away.
"I find it extremely annoying, catching tired kunoichis who tend to fall asleep on their feet," a voice whispered darkly into her ears and she thought she would never hear anything sound more musical.
SXS
She nearly flew out of the bed when the door slammed open. Struggling to calm her beating heart and find some weapon, her eyes fell on the door.
She sighed in relief and fell back on the bed, "Oh, it's just you."
Kisame sniggered, a bottle of sake clutched in his hand, "You know how funny it is to see you get all jumpy before realizing it's just one of us?"
She decided the day was still too fresh for her to start it by glaring at him.
"What do you want?" She asked instead.
"What's with you and getting all down-to-business attitudes, huh? Can't a man just drop by to visit his little pet?" Kisame walked over into the room.
"Firstly, no," she said as she raised herself supported by her elbows, "And secondly I'm NOT your pet! Eww!"
"You're my pet if I say so."
"No way!"
"Yes."
"No."
"Let's settle this with a fight, what do you say, Pinky?"
"You're an idiot if you think I'd fall for that."
"Heh. I wasn't referring to a battle, of course I know there isn't a way in hell someone as puny as you could even ever land a blow on me."
"Oh yeah? Remember the cheek that went against the blue-code of your skin and turned all purple, Kisame-san?"
"Tsch. Touché."
"I know I'm the best."
"Right. Anyways, before I get the urge to kill you off, come to our room. Dinner is served."
Kisame laughed as she opened her mouth to retort but before long her stomach grumbled. Grumbling to herself, she got up from the bed. She noticed that she wasn't wearing her cloak, and which was nowhere in sight. Hmm, maybe it was sent away for washing? And why the hell was she questioning its absence? She should be just glad that she no longer had to wear it... It was one less thing tattooing the word 'traitor' on her.
Although she would have loved to take a relaxing bath first, she just followed Kisame out of the room and let him lead the way towards the room which he and Deidara shared. The room was a few doors down hers and Itachi's. Unlocking the door, Kisame stepped in with her following suit.
She had thought Itachi would be there, given his absence in their room. But that wasn't the case. The room was far bigger than theirs and on one side of the room a small table was standing with all kinds of food laid out on it. She felt her mouth watering.
Kisame chuckled, observing the look on her face, "Have a go at it."
Sakura didn't need anything more. She walked over as contained as possible for a lady, but all the effort she put in her walk was wasted as she dug in her food in the most unladylike way possible. She didn't care that Kisame was howling with laughter as he seated himself on a chair and stowed his plate with food.
Finally when she was sure that her stomach wouldn't betray her when she opened her mouth, she slowed her pace. "Where's Uchiha-san?"
Kisame grumbled and groaned with mouth full of food and Sakura waited trying not to finch, for him to swallow.
"Who knows where."
'Well, that was pointless,' she mused.
She asked, "Won't he join us for dinner?"
When the shark-nin shrugged she let the subject drop and let him eat in peace as she stirred her own food, suddenly her appetite gone. The door creaked open much to her anticipation and Tobi flew with a sulky Deidara in tow. Sakura knew that seeing Itachi there couldn't have made her happier.
"Tobi is baaaaaack!"
The way that Tobi said it, as annoying as it was, made Sakura want to give him a hug. But she guesses they weren't used to it being Akatsuki and all, and didn't want to make him uncomfortable. So beaming, she exclaimed, "Welcome back!"
Tobi seemed most happy at being welcomed back which made her think that no one probably welcomed him back ever. Poor guy. Someone as happy-go-lucky like Tobi didn't deserve the life that he led. Perhaps, he was being forced to live this life? Nothing else made sense. Well, that was a discussion for perhaps, another day.
"Tobi missed kunoichi-san!" Tobi sang.
Sakura, who was looking at Deidara who stood idly at the other side of the room and refused to meet her eyes, tore her eyes away to look at Tobi and smile. "I missed you too, Tobi."
"Really? Kunoichi-san means it?" Sakura thought if he wasn't wearing a mask, his eyes would have been all big and glassy and pouty. The thought made her squeal.
"Yep, I mean it."
As Tobi began chorusing his happiness, Sakura caught Kisame's eyes and motioned towards the bomb-artist. Kisame only shrugged and went back to eating. Sakura gave him a pointed look and he sighed.
"Oi, barbie! What got your panties in a twist, huh?" Kisame sure had a delicate way of doing things. Deidara's eyes twitched and Sakura sweat dropped; Kisame was truly stupid.
"What is it, Deidara-san?" She asked cautiously, mentally thinking that perhaps he had reconsidered his thoughts regarding her and found it impossible to forgive her and has finally decided to give her the cold shoulder like before. The fact that Deidara didn't reply didn't settle well with her.
As Tobi joined the table, his partner still showed no such sign and worried, Sakura stood up without finishing her food to go and talk to him instead. But Deidara strode away from the room even before she could put down her napkin.
"Deidara! Wait-" He was gone.
Sakura rushed to the door and was stopped by Kisame who blocked the doorway with his bulky body.
"Move, Kisame!" She hissed.
Kisame looked dead serious, "One wrong move and..."
Patience ran low and she interrupted him, "And you'll kill me! I know! I know! I'm not stupid! Now move your ass!" She shrieked in annoyance.
Kisame smirked but let the insolence pass as he stepped away from the door.
Sakura stepped out into the hall and looked both ways and found no trace of Deidara. She cursed Kisame for getting in her way. Expanding her chakra, she searched for Deidara's familiar one and found that it was hidden well. Impatient and irritated by Deidara's odd behavior and his reluctance to express himself, she decided to take the right side on a whim.
She found him about twenty minutes later, just when she was about to give up on her search. He was there, standing on a corner of a room, staring at nothing.
Hesitatingly first, then confidently, she took a few steps into the room. Deidara didn't seem to mind her presence; otherwise, surely he would have left the room by now. She slowed down as she neared him, not wanting to alarm him in case he hadn't noticed her. Reaching out, she touched him arm gently, gaining his attention immediately.
"What's wrong, Deidara-san?" She asked in a whisper. There was a pause as he looked into her as if examining her thoroughly. And then slowly a bitter smile tugged at his lips as he wrenched his hand from her touch, as if burned. Sakura winced. So, it she was indeed at fault.
"What have I done this time?" She asked, looking away, feeling too cowardly to meet his eyes that would reflect a hurting soul.
The smile on his lips didn't waver as he said in an equal bitter voice, "I thought I asked you to not call me that, yeah."
She knew what he was talking about. But she had only called him 'Dediara-san' in fear that she had wronged him again and wouldn't be deemed worthy of calling him in such a familiar way. It was also an attempt of kinds to untangle herself from him.
"Deidara, then," she atoned, but he didn't say anything more.
After a while she tried again, "Is there something bothering you?"
He shook his head a little too hastily for her conviction. She frowned, "If it is me, I'm sorry. I really am."
This time Deidara smiled a smile that wasn't so bitter but a lot close to his original ones, "It's not you, yeah."
It touched her heart but she was still not very convinced. They were known for their ability of deception after all, "I wish I could believe that."
"Why can't you belie-"
She cut across and demanded outright, "Deidara, quit beating about the bush and just tell me what's wrong!"
"It's nothing, I told you, yeah!"
"Stop lying to my face!"
"I'm not, yeah!"
"Won't you tell me?"
She watched him swallow; there, she used the guilty card. He turned away from her, his back facing her. Gently, she placed her hand on his back feeling it tensing under her touch.
"What's bothering you?" She asked tenderly.
There was a long pause before Deidara sighed and huffed in defeat. Sakura felt a small smile curling up to her lips.
"Itachi."
For a second she thought that Itachi was standing by the door and the blonde had just acknowledged his presence. Blinking, she realized that wasn't it, rather 'Itachi' was the source of his troubles. She snorted to herself, 'Isn't he everyone's, now?'
"What about him?"
The look of irritation that Deidara threw at her made her want to slap herself. That had been a stupid question to ask. Everything and one thing was enough about Uchiha Itachi to get under anyone's nerves.
"Forget about it, yeah." Deidara made a move to walk away but Sakura held on firmly. "I told you; just forget all this happened, yeah. Let's get back to the room before everyone gets suspicious and decides to point fingers at you, yeah."
"We are not going anywhere until we talk everything out. We have a lot to talk about, Deidara. And if we don't start talking the things and feelings will build up-"
"I'm a killer! I'm not supposed to have feelings damn it!" Deidara's outburst made her blink and then slowly her eyes went round and big as it dawned upon her.
"F-Feelings?" She whispered.
Deidara said no more. Stonily he strode over to the door, his Akatsuki cloak billowing against the marble flooring, and like that she was left standing all alone in an empty room when Kisame came to look for her.
SXS
When Sakura finally dragged herself to the room that she was supposed to share with Itachi, it was past midnight. After Kisame had found her, he had politely invited her to their room to have a drink or two. Deidara was there of course, and she had indulged herself in more than Kisame had expected her capable of.
"I must say, didn't expect someone so small and weak to hold in so much. Aren't you full of surprises?" Kisame had commented about her drinking.
She had waved him off and slurred, "You haven't seen nothin'. I'm the Hokage's apprentice; sure I know how to hold my liquor." And then drank some more. In the end Kisame had passed out, leaving her to drag her wasted body to her own room.
Reaching the door that she thought were hers, she fumbled with the knob and staggered into the room. The room was not entirely plunged into the shadows, but lit in a rather soothing shade of dim blue which suit Sakura's hazy eyes just fine. Everything around her seemed to spin, suddenly making her stop on her tracks.
When she somewhat recovered, unsteady on her feet, she approached the bed, not taking any notice of its already occupant staring at her with narrowed red eyes. Groaning, she flopped on the bed, not bothering to get under the covers, and closed her eyes in order to give in to the wooziness that overcame her.
"Where have you been?" The dark voice lost all its menace to Sakura's drunken ears but didn't fail to make her almost jump out of her skin. Her heart didn't have the energy to race.
"'Tachi-san..." She slurred.
"Have you been drinking with Kisame?" There was something akin to disapproval in his voice, but Sakura couldn't be sure.
"Hm," she only made a sound. Her mind protested against all the questionnaire, wanting to just drift off in peace; she had had a long day. Immediately her mind was drawn back to Deidara's outburst earlier in the day. She giggled not caring that she was in the company of an international S-ranked criminal and giggling was hardly appropriate at the circumstances.
"Is there something wrong?" Itachi sounded like he was unsure, the closest she has heard him to be anything other than nonchalant or cold.
She giggled again, "Everything is wrong, 'Tachi-san. Can't you see?" Her eyes blinked open struggling against the dim lighting that was too sharp for her sight. "I'm a mess," her voice broke, despair creeping up to her fast, "Oh, what must everyone think of me?" She moaned.
There was a pregnant pause. Of course even Itachi couldn't predict the likes of Naruto, as vigilant as he was. Besides, what was she even expecting? Itachi sympathizing with her? Comfort her? Her mood took another 360 degree swing and she found herself laughing hard about the thought of Uchiha Itachi comforting anyone.
'He's a cold-blooded killer, you brainless git!' She screamed at her mind harshly.
"Someone who betrays their comrades," Whatever attention her hazy mind was capable of, was directed at Itachi, "is surely to suffer a terrible fate."
Was he telling her off? Her mind had to put quite an effort to distinguish the meaning that the words held. Or did Itachi just tell her that she was going to suffer a terrible fate?
She threw a reproachful look at his direction.
Itachi held her gaze with his mesmerizing crimson one, "And what are your comrades, if they cannot even judge you for who you are?"
It sounded like a challenge to her which she would have questioned with passion if she had been on the right track of mind, no doubt. However, Sakura's thoughts were more drawn to the way how the elder Uchiha's long hair have come loose from its tie and trailed down to his strong jaw line and about how absolutely delicious he looked staring down at her with an intensity that made her insides squirm.
She sighed, literally having to tear her eyes from the man that was too hot for his own good, "I'll take the couch."
"That's unnecessary; the bed is big enough for the both of us."
Sakura found that she was too worn-out to insist otherwise. Shock evaded her senses as sleep had already crashed deep upon her when Itachi sighed and pulled the sheets over both of them, making sure that she was properly covered as well.
Because Uchiha Itachi sure all hell doesn't tuck anyone in.
To be continued...
A/N: Ah, this chapter took much thinking. Because you know, I'd to find a valid reason to make them end up in the same room...so that Itachi's offer to share the bed sounded like him, not some hormonal teenager.
Anyways, there are some guest reviewers who have some questions, and since I don't have the option of PM-ing them personally, I'm going to have to answer those here.
Someone mentioned that Sakura is being weak, and does she not have the byakugo seal here. Well, she doesn't, because this story follows a timeline far earlier than the war (where she actually gets the seal). As for her seeming weak, well, that is what I'm writing and working on right, character development.
Someone mentioned that reading this reminds them of another ItaSaku story, and I suppose that is only because great minds think alike! Loool, kidding! Maybe because that story also follows the Sakura-gets-kidnapped plot, but yeah I'm trying my best to set apart this story from all the others.
Okay, moving on, to those of you who are actually enjoying this story THANKS A LOT for sharing your thoughts about it! I know I don't update as frequently as you people probably want me to, BUT I LOVE TO HEAR FROM YOU GUYS!
So please do review and let me know your thoughts!
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