Chapter 8.
Nick.
"So today we are cleaning." Sarah announced looking at me.
"Cleaning?"
"Yes Nick we are cleaning, this house is a complete mess. And your room, well don't even get me started on how much of a disaster zone that is, it looks like a nuclear bomb went off in there. We are cleaning all rooms and then we are putting new sheets on the beds. Then you are going to do the laundry, I know your mommy most likely did it at home but Nick this is pitiful seriously! We all live here and I will not tolerate crap everywhere." She stated as I shook my head staring at her insulted.
"My mom did not do my laundry!" I hissed and she just stared at me with raised eyebrows, "Miley does it."
"I'm going for a jog." TJ stated from the other room.
"Me too."
"NO you are not going for a run, neither of you are jogging anywhere. TJ your bedroom is almost as bad as Nick's you are both staying here to clean." Sarah hissed.
TJ walked in looking at Sarah defeated, we both knew by now that going up against her was like announcing World War Three and trust me we never won. TJ let out a huff annoyed as Sarah snapped her fingers at him, "Right you are going to clean the hippie kitchen, and I want everything to sparkle TJ. And I mean everything including plates, spoons and ever the glasses understand?" She hissed as TJ groaned nodding,
"Yes I understand."
"Good, Nick into the bedroom now."
I followed Sarah into my bedroom as she just looked around disgusted, okay it wasn't the bad. I stared at the barely visible floor and cups of coffee everywhere, okay maybe it was a little untidy but I was a guy we were meant to make our rooms look messy. She gave a huff and went for the bed, "Right you grab one side and we'll start pulling the sheets off."
"Fine but-
I was interrupted mid sentence by someone slamming their fists against the front door violently, I looked over at Sarah worried to see her listening very carefully. I knew no one was supposed to be coming today, so who could it possibly be? "Nick stay here, don't move and if anything happens go for the window." She muttered and headed for the hallway as TJ suddenly appeared and pointed for her to go back into the room with me.
"Stay here okay, don't either of you think about coming to the front until I give you the all clear…"
"Yep." Sarah muttered straight away.
I nodded as TJ quickly left the room looking hell nervous, I looked fearfully at Sarah who sat down on the bed listening to the hand still hammering on the door.
"I wonder who it-"
"You're not supposed to be here!" TJ yelled.
Instantly I heard thumping down the hallway, and Sarah eyes widened in panic as she stood up and I grabbed onto her body pushing it behind my own.
"WHERE'S NICK?" Miley screamed.
"MILEY YOU'RE NOT-"
"WHERE IS HE?"
I sighed in relief and quickly rushed out to see Miles standing in the hallway, I took one look at her then realized she was crying and wasn't wearing anything to hide her identity. Her face was filled with agony, while Miley's eyes were blurred with tears staring at my completely distraught. I stepped towards her in seconds moving my hand gently onto her arm. I stood completely scared as TJ looked at me waiting for an explanation…
"Miley what's wrong gorgeous? Tell me what's wrong? Did something-"
Miley's eyes however were staring behind me, and I turned looking at Sarah.
"Who is she?" Miley hissed.
"Miley what's wrong?"
"WHO IS SHE?"
"Miley that's Sarah she is switching around with Sam and me." TJ muttered,
"You screwing her too?"
I stared at Miley completely confused as she let an angry tear roll down her face.
"What are you-"
"You slept with Selena?" Miley blankly asked me.
I dropped my hand instantly as I stared at my beautiful girlfriend, I tried to open my mouth but I couldn't because I knew nothing I said right now could change this. Miley instantly took that as a yes and let out a chocked sob looking away from me, I let out a groan moving my hand up to her cheek only for her to completely block me out as she stepped away. I looked at her distraught face, I'd wanted to tell her but I chose not to because I knew it was hurt her so much.
"Miley I'm sorry, just let me explain." I whispered moving over to her again as I brushed my fingers along her arm and she stepped back.
"Get your hand OFF ME!"
"Miley please," I whispered staring at her nervously, "I love you, not Selena. It was one time and it meant nothing to me, not as much as-"
"ONE TIME?" She screamed tears cascading down her red fury filled face,
"Miley please be a little bit-"
"SHUT UP TJ!" Miley screamed at him and he instantly moved away and I could just see how uneasy Sarah looked right now. "How could you do this to me! YOU LIED TO ME, YOU SAID IT WAS YOUR FIRST TIME! YOU LIED TO ME NICK…YOU…" Miley let out in-between sobs, "You lied to me!"
"No, I didn't." I whispered pleadingly, "I didn't lie to you Miley. I told you I'd never made love to a girl and that was the truth, because I-"
"SELENA DOESN'T THINK THAT. YOU KNOW WHAT I CAN'T DEAL WITH THIS ANYMORE!" She yelled tears rolling down her face, "I can't do this, I just can't be around here…I can't do any of this anymore. I can't lie, I can't pretend like you're dead! I don't want to do this anymore, I hate this Nick."
"Miley calm down." TJ whispered hesitantly.
"I can't, I CAN'T FUCKING DO THIS ANYMORE." Miley yelled and turned around as TJ jumped in front of her blocking the pathway to the door,
Miles let out a chocked sob as I felt everything falling away. She couldn't tell anyone, they'd kill me and I couldn't loose her.
"Miley please I'm sorry, I didn't mean to hurt you. Whatever Selena said about that night isn't true! I swear to god, it mean nothing to me I was-"
"Why didn't you just tell me?" Miley hissed turning around, heartbreak in her eyes, "WHY DIDN'T YOU JUST TELL ME NICK? IF YOU'D TOLD ME I WOULD HAVE UNDERSTOOD! SELENA MADE ME CRY TODAY IN FRONT OF A WHOLE RESTAURANT OF PEOPLE! DO YOU KNOW WHAT THAT FEELS LIKE? HOW EMBARRASSED I FELT? THAT SHE TORE ME TO PIECES BY SAYING THAT IN FRONT OF EVERYONE? DO YOU KNOW WHAT MY LIFE IS LIKE RIGHT NOW? Don't you see how much I'm struggling?"
"Miley-"
"I'VE BEEN WALKING ON EGG SHELLS FOR YOU NICK! AND THEN I FIND OUT YOU SLEPT WITH THE ONE PERSON WHO TORE US APART TO START WITH? I CAN'T DO THIS ANYMORE, I CAN'T BE HERE! I JUST CAN'T…" She screamed and turned pushing TJ violently out of the way.
I went to rush after her only for TJ to block my path this time, "Nick let her go, she needs to calm down okay. You aren't going-"
I pushed him out of the way just in time to see the front door slam, I turned around my anger turning into absolute anguish as I slammed my fist into the wall. Straight away I felt the pain but it was nothing compared to what I felt in my heart right now, I'd screwed up that night with Selena and I promised to myself that I would never let it come between Miles and me but now it had.I just shook my head anger pulsating through me, this wasn't fucking fair.
"NICK CHILL!" TJ yelled as I pulled my hand back,
I stared at the hole in the wall, and then down at my bloody fist.
"Nick just calm down okay, we're going to fix this." Sarah whispered scared.
I stared at my hand shaking my head, she didn't understand this was Miley we were talking about. "You can't fix this."
Miley.
I pulled off my heels sobbing as I stumbled down the footpath, I didn't know where to go anymore. I had been walking around North Hollywood for the past three hours since I left Nick's and I just didn't know where to go, I couldn't go home or anywhere right now without thinking of him. I turned the corner shaking my head in absolute shock, how could he do this? How could he do this to me after everything? I felt so angry and betrayed, why hadn't he told me? I would have been upset sure, but I would have understood! Instead he just lied to my face and expected it to be okay?
I felt my feet burning against the hot cement but I didn't care right now, because everything was ruined. I was the only person who knew the truth, I could ultimately blow up everything but at the same time I couldn't say a word. I stopped staring up at a tree…
Wait, this looked familiar. I turned looking at the house before me.
Joe's house.
I looked around for paparazzi but soon realized they were most likely following Selena, Demi and Danielle after the scene in the restaurant at lunch. I moved forward pressing the memorized code into the gates which buzzed open and I walked through noticing Joe's car was gone. I moved forward grabbing his spare key out of the pot plant, placing it into the lock. I opened the door and walked in, finally feeling that little bit more relaxed and calm now that I had somewhere to go.
I dropped my heels and headed upstairs towards Joe's bed.
Within seconds I collapsed onto it cuddling into the white fluffy pillows, smelling the scent of Joe's aftershave, which right now was more comfort then Nick's. I closed my eyes knowing this was the last place anyone would look for me, and right now I just needed to clear my head of all the haunting thoughts. I relaxed sinking deeper into the bed as I felt myself drifting in between consciousness and sleep…
"Joe just calm down we'll find her okay!"
I opened my eyes rolling over hearing the front door slam, I turned looking at the alarm clock flashing seven pm. I sighed not bothering to get up, even though I'd been asleep for a good two hours I still felt like it had been only minutes. I could hear the bickering downstairs but I ignored it trying to sink back into my slumber…
"JOE!" Demi yelled, "WHY IS THERE A PAIR OF HEELS AT YOUR DOOR?"
With in seconds I could hear feet thundering up the staircase as Joe's bedroom door flew open and I heard a sigh,
"Oh thank god,"
"She okay?" Demi yelled from downstairs, moving up the staircase.
"Yeah she's asleep, I think Miles might have been here for a while by the look of the bed. Okay it's fine I'll deal with her tonight, good thing we didn't get her family or the police involved this time." Joe muttered and walked into the room as I heard Demi follow.
"She looks so…"
"Peaceful." Joe muttered as I felt a finger trace my back, "The only time she most likely escapes her pain is in her dreams, like me right now. Right now she's with Nick and Miles doesn't have to face the real world."
"Dream's aren't reality…" Demi whispered.
"But right now they're better then reality for all of us. I'll look after her Dems go home and get some rest I'll take Miley to work tomorrow if she's even up for it." Joe muttered and Demi sighed.
"Thanks Joe, look after her."
"I will."
The door slammed but Joe remained as he climbed onto the bed alongside me, I felt his fingers continue to trail my back long after Demi's car left the driveway. His touch was so delicate and reminded me so much of Nick's soft hands, I wanted Nick to be the one touching me like Joe was. Eventually Joe stopped and laid down moving his arm around me. I rolled over and leaned up against him as he sighed,
"Want to talk about it?" He whispered quietly in my ear.
"No."
Joe didn't say anything else and played with my hair as I felt the tears start rolling down my cheeks again thinking about Nick. I ended up against Joe's chest as I started sobbing letting out the feelings of betrayal I had within towards Nick. Joe kissed the side of my head trying to calm me down but he didn't pester me with the numerous questions everyone else would, which I was thankful for.
"He loved you Miley, trust me. Nick loved you when he died not her."
Although his words were true I just didn't want to think about it right now. I opened my eyes staring up at his face only inches from my own, he stared looking down at me worried. "She shouldn't have said that Miley. Nick told me about Selena and it was nothing like what it was with you, I promise Miley. The way he talked about you in those two weeks, was literally like he was in another world with only you."
"He lied to me." I whispered as Joe nodded.
"I'm sorry, he never meant to hurt you like this."
"But he lied…"
"Miley, Nick only lied because he knew how much this would kill you. He didn't even consider that having sex with Selena was love, but with you he was so sure." Joe whispered brushing his fingertips down my face, "You're perfect Miley and Selena will never be able to beat you at that."
I stared up at Joe his eyes brightly sparkling looking directly at me, I felt a sudden emotion hit as I leaned towards him. Our noses brushed and the look of knowing across Joe's face as I realized this was really wrong. I moved to pull away only for him to drag me straight into a kiss. For a second I was just struck completely out of surprise, what the hell was he doing? I pulled away violently and just let my mouth drop staring at him in horror, had he really just done that? Had Joe really just kissed me. What the Fuck?
"Oh shit…" He hissed apologetic, "Oh shit Miley I'm sorry…"
I turned away from him shaking my head, what the hell was wrong with him? Anger began to burn through me, what the hell? Then I felt the tears coming back again...
"Miley I'm sorry!" Joe stated putting his hand on my back,
I pushed myself off the bed shaking my head, "Don't you dare touch me!" I hissed crying as I pushed both my hands through my hair, "Don't ever come near me again!"
I turned rushing towards the door only for Joe to block me pleadingly. I stared at the tears in his eyes and the expression of complete guilt, something Nick hadn't even shown me today. "I'm so sorry…I just…I miss him Miley and right now you're the only person I can relate too and I'm so sorry." He pleaded looking at me as I stared at him my anger fading, "I just…I wanted to feel something other then this sadness."
Joe suddenly started sobbing and I instantly pulled him into a hug. He didn't have feelings for me, I knew he didn't but it was what Nick's death had done to all of us made us so confused about everything. I forced him back onto the bed and we both laid done while he continued to cry. Finally Joe fell asleep though and I moved away completely exhausted, Joe didn't mean to kiss me and Nick did mean to have sex with Selena. I sunk back down into the pillow closing my eyes, I was tired and I just didn't want to think anymore. I was sick of lying, crying and constantly acting, I just wanted to have someone who understood what I was going through for once. But no one would ever realize what this felt like.
A/N- Okay who hates me? Thanks for the reviews guys :)
