NINE

"Honestly, this world is going to total shit—I swear to god. This close to Christmas and everything!"

Kate glanced up from the mug of coffee she was pouring at two of her colleagues who entered the breakroom together. Though both of them had been on the force longer than her, she ranked above them thanks to diligent focus on her career. One of them in particular—the one that hadn't been speaking—seemed to always be short with her because of it, so she generally steered clear, but as they were the only ones in the breakroom and she was looking for respite from her mind-numbing paperwork, she decided to engage. "Why is the world going to total shit?"

As they joined her at the coffee pot, the taller of the two said, "My buddy told me that a guy dressed as Santa was stabbed this morning. Just stabbed—well, robbed and stabbed. He had with him a bunch of toys and money he was giving to needy kids, too!" The man shook his head and slurped his coffee. "Awful."

Kate's chest instantly tightened and sweat droplets formed on her brow. "Ah—is—is he okay? The man that was stabbed?"

"Dunno, but my buddy said he was in pretty bad shape. Honestly…how bad is this city getting that Santa gets stabbed three days before Christmas?" he said more to his partner than to Kate.

The duo moved out of the room without much more acknowledgment to the female officer, but she wouldn't have noticed even if they did; she was moments from a panic attack. A man dressed as Santa delivering toys and money to needy kids was stabbed?! Oh god, oh god, could it really be? Was everyone she cared about destined to the same fate?

Gripping onto the breakroom counter with one hand, Kate sucked in a deep breath and tried to think rationally. She and Rick had spoken on the phone for over an hour the night before and he hadn't said anything about making toy deliveries. He talked about working on his next Derrick Storm book and picking up Alexis from her half day at school, but there was no mention of delivering toys. But what if he made a stop to deliver toys on the way to get Alexis? Oh god—what if he made a stop to deliver toys and he had Alexis with him?

Abandoning her coffee mug, Kate raced back to her desk to see if she could find any information about the incident on the NYPD's internal database. It was a long shot since most officers didn't file their reports until later in the day, but maybe there was something—anything—to confirm that Rick was not the man involved in the stabbing.

For the better part of fifteen minutes Kate searched every keyword she could think of, but her only results came from incidents days prior; nothing was current. The more she searched and failed to find information, the more her brain concocted horrifying scenarios. If Rick was stabbed and gravely injured, what would happen to Alexis? Would she be sent to live with the mother that didn't care enough about her to see her for Christmas? Would she have to leave the city and all of her friends?

When finally Kate had exhausted her ability to search, she reached for her phone to dial the writer's number. If he was not the stabbing victim, she would feel very foolish for jumping to such a conclusion, but at least she could finish out her shift with the comforting knowledge that he was okay and remained uninjured. The phone only rang once before going directly to voicemail. Confused, Kate hung up and dialed again only to face the same result. Right to voicemail? What did that mean?

In her panicked state she forgot how phones operated and took a deep breath to think of all of the scenarios by which that could be explained. He could be in a meeting and have his phone off. He could have denied her call and sent it straight to voice mail. He could have been in an area without reception...like a hospital emergency room, where he was receiving medical treatment!

No—no. She was being ridiculous and jumping to conclusions, which was completely unlike her. It was just…well, she cared about him. God, she really cared about him, didn't she? It was almost unbelievable, given how recently they'd met. They'd barely kissed, been on only one date—which she'd left early from. Still, she cared about him. She cared about him more than she even realized until the moment she thought something tragic may have happened to him. Rick was kind, sweet, and made her laugh; she looked forward to getting to know him and his family and definitely was not ready for their journey to end before it even began.


Rick was casually crossing through his kitchen in search of something to drink when a knock at the apartment door drew his attention. Strange; he wasn't expecting anyone at that time of day. Ever curious, he crossed the room and was delighted—if not slightly surprised—to see Kate in her full police uniform.

"Hey," he said when he opened the door. "What are you—oh!" He gasped when she barreled into him, throwing her arms around his neck without saying a word. He chuckled and patted her back. "This is an unexpected greeting."

"Sorry! I—I'm sorry! I just…I'm glad you're okay."

He could hear the tearful edge in her voice as she slid out of his arms and his brow wrinkled. "Why wouldn't I be okay?"

She shook her head. "You weren't answering your phone."

"My—oh yeah. I was in the writing zone and I only noticed the battery had died about ten minutes ago. Is…is that why you were worried about me?" he asked with slight confusion. It was sweet that she was concerned he wasn't answering his phone, though definitely unexpected given that she seemed to want to keep things casual; yet she seemed a bit too concerned, a bit too panicked. Just as he was wondering if she might have been the slightest bit crazy, she stepped into his apartment and explained further.

"I'm sorry to just show up like this—unannounced, but I couldn't get a hold of you and I just…I needed to see if you were okay, because…" She brushed an escaped tear from her right cheek before setting her expression and looking at him. "This morning a man in a Santa costume delivering toys to needy children was stabbed to death. I-I couldn't find his name in our database yet so…"

"Oh Kate." He sighed and stepped forward, pulling her into his arms again. He cradled the back of her head with his right hand and rubbed small circles across her back with his left. No wonder she was upset! It all made perfect sense. "I'm so sorry you were upset, but I promise I haven't left the apartment all day."

She pulled away from him and he saw a few more tears tracking down her cheeks so he brushed them away with his thumbs. "I'm sorry I—I just kind of barged in here." She apologized and took a step back from him. "Do you have a minute?"

"More than a minute. Mother took Alexis to her show's matinee; I don't expect them back until six. Please sit."

They walked to the couch and she took a tissue from the box he held out to her before they sat on adjacent cushions. She pulled her leg underneath her and gripped on to her shin before she began to speak. "See…the reason I was so upset—well, extra upset—is because my mother didn't just die. She was murdered; stabbed to death in a robbery attempt."

Rick shut his eyes and lowered his chin. "Oh, Kate…I'm so sorry." He was sorry that her mother had died in such a tragic way—when she was so young, no less. During their dinner she had informed them it had been nearly six years since her mother passed, and though Rick did not know her exact age, he could not imagine she was older than her mid-twenties, which meant her mother probably died when she was still a teen. Of course, when it came to a parent being taken so violently, he did not imagine age made too much of a difference. No wonder the Christmas season was difficult for her!

On top of all that, she had spent presumably several hours that morning fearing he'd suffered the same fate. True, their relationship was still blossoming, but they were friends and had been for several weeks and it would have been a cruel twist of fate for Kate to lose anyone from her life in the same tragic way. No wonder she'd been reduced to tears.

"And then I thought you…that you might have…" Her voice drifted off as she dabbed the tissue beneath her nose. Looking up to him she said, "I guess what I'm trying to say is that I really care about you even though I was trying not to."

The end of her statement struck him as odd. "Why would you try not to?"

She shrugged, a little bit helpless. "Because it's what I do—what I've done since my mother died. If you care too much about people you can get hurt."

Rick leaned back and twisted his lips to the side, considering that statement. While true, caring for people came with a "take the good with the bad" mantra in his mind. Yes, they could hurt you, but they could also never make you truly happy and joyful if you didn't care about them. "No offense, Kate, but that sounds kind of lonely."

She gave him a half smile. "It can be, but I…I'd like to try and change that."

He smiled. "With me?" She nodded and he reached out to pull her in closer. "I'd like that."

Before she slid into him, she placed her fingertips against his chest. "I…I'm going to try, but I still might be a little cautious for a while. This is…different for me…and a little scary."

He nodded, completely understanding the emotion. "I get that; it's a little scary for me too."

She tilted her head to the side. "Are you just saying that to make me feel better?"

He chuckled. "No. It…it makes me a little nervous to let you into Alexis's life as much as I have already, and to keep letting you in, but it…it feels like the right thing to do; I care about you too, you know?"

She didn't say anything more, but she did fold herself against him and rest her head against his shoulder. He happily looped his arms around her torso, bringing her even closer as they leaned back against the sofa cushions.

They sat that way quietly for the better part of ten minutes before Rick stroked her arm and said, "Can I ask you something you might not be thrilled about?"

She lifted her head and arched a very suspicious eyebrow at him. "Such as…?"

"Am I really your favorite author?" Was he taking advantage of a moment when she was slightly vulnerable? Maybe, but he had been curious ever since she'd let it slip two nights earlier.

"I…maybe." She confessed, her cheeks turning a soft shade of pink.

"C'mon." He stroked her side gently. "You can tell me."

"I…I started reading your books shortly after my mom died. It was a hard time for me but they…they made it better. And so now when I read them they're comforting—god why am I telling you this." She moaned and covered her face with one hand.

He reached over and pulled her hand away. "I'm so glad you're telling me this." Truly, he was. It wasn't so much that he needed to date a fan to plump his ego; quite the opposite. Dating someone who was a super-fan was borderline disturbing and often times their feelings were superficial. He knew Kate's praises were genuine, though, and as someone who worried just how much his books mattered to people, they also meant a great deal. "Thank you."

"Thank you." She replied, pressing her palm against the underside of his jaw. He leaned in and kissed her, sweet and tentative at first, but then with growing passion when she parted her lips and pulled her body closer to his.

"So, ah, are we…are we officially a couple now?" he asked, his voice a bit husky after several minutes of kissing.

She grazed her teeth over her bottom lip. "I might be kind of rusty at this. I haven't had a real boyfriend since before I was in the academy."

He nodded and fought to keep a straight face. "Well imaginary boyfriends are easier to deal with."

She poked one of his ribs and he yelped. "You know what I meant."

"Maybe."

She momentarily narrowed her eyes at his smirk, and then softened her expression. "I…I'm going to try, Rick, but also might fail a little bit."

He shook his head and squeezed her hand. "I don't mind, but I think you're being too hard on yourself." Though she gave him a skeptical look, he was certain she was judging herself way too harshly for the simple fact that she was concerned meant she cared more than she probably even realized. And that was okay with him, because he cared, too.