Disclaimer: I don't own Community. If I did, the British characters on the show would be a bit more James Bond and a bit less Mr Bean.
Chapter 9 - First Amendment Rights
Week 13
"So, how's your day been?" She said as he walked through the door.
"You remember yesterday somebody try to force his way into our study group then we threw him out? Well, today I decided to give him a second chance, only for him to decide he preferred a study group that contained Starburns and an Owen Wilson lookalike. I mean seriously - Owen Wilson?" He said. "And that's when I wasn't working as editor of the school paper - "
"We have a school paper now?"
"The dean has decided to relaunch the Greendale Gazette Journal Mirror and wanted me to edit it."
"And you agreed?" She sounded more than a little surprised.
"Hey, it comes with an office, a desk - a nice one - and an English credit. Ah, thanks." She handed him a Scotch and lowered herself into his lap, wrapping her arms sinuously around his neck.
"So, a typical Greendale day, then?" She started nuzzling at his neck while he sipped his scotch.
"It went well in the end." He smiled, and not just because she wasn't complaining as his hand ran up her thigh. "The volunteers at the paper are good kids, and being an editor might actually be fun."
Her hand was now running through his hair and her mouth was only inches from his. "So, is talking about school really the most interesting thing you can think of right now?"
He growled throatily and placed one arm under her thighs and the other across her shoulders, shifted his balance and stood up. She gasped with delight - he enjoyed demonstrating that his muscles were not just for show - and with effortless ease he carried her to the bedroom and practically threw her on the bed. Her eyes were on fire. "Make love to me, Jeff."
He was by her side. He pulled her head to him and kissed her, passionately. "Oh Michelle, you have no idea."
XXXXXX
Hours later, he jerked awake in the dark gasping with panic.
"Bad dream?" She said drowsily.
"Something like that, go back to sleep Michelle."
He lay awake, staring at the ceiling wondering how on earth he could possibly tell her that it was as far from a nightmare as he could get? He still saw the dream - which was as much of a memory as anything - as clear as day.
Annie is looking at him with something very like adoration in her eyes. "It didn't even really occur to me what I was doing until I saw how upset you were, and I never want to be the reason you're mad. Because you're Jeff Winger." Then she starts to move forward, slim, delicate fingers undoing the buttons on her cardigan. As she leans over the desk, her hot lips part slightly, seeking his…
And it was there that Jeff awoke. You can't do this Winger. You're with Michelle and this is Annie you're dreaming about! But it was a long time before he fell asleep again.
XXXXXX
Week 14
Jeff is sitting in his office with his feet on the desk and holding the first draft of this week's paper in one hand and one of Abed's – Radar's – martinis in the other. There's a knock on the door, he looks up and smiles.
"Come in, Ace." Annie enters. "What can I do for you that can't wait five minutes for the editorial meeting?"
"It's about Danny and Kate," she said. They were the other two reporters on the paper, who the week before had "investigated" pizza deliveries and beer sales for Jeff. "You only have to be in the same room as them for two minutes to see they adore each other, but they're so shy they can barely say a word to each other. It's so sad."
Jeff looked over at Abed. "It's true Jeff. It's a classic trope – star-crossed lovers. They're desperately in love but are kept apart by their inability to talk to each other honestly about their feelings." Abed was suddenly looking intensely at both Jeff and Annie in a way that made them feel very uncomfortable.
Jeff shifted in his seat. "Well, I don't know what you expect me to do about it – this is a newspaper, not a dating agency." He sighed. "But let's get them in here and have the meeting."
Annie looked sad, but she popped her head round the door and called in Danny and Kate.
Once they were all seated, Jeff called the meeting to order. "First of all, what's everybody working on? You first, Ace."
Annie sat up straight in her seat. "I'm working on a series about the groups, cliques and secret societies who operate in the shadows and who control what's really happening around here."
"I like it," said Jeff with a big grin on his face. "It's dangerous, it's exciting. We'll call it-" he clicked his fingers twice as though lost in thought "-Gangs of Greendale. Yeah. Get me a first draft by the end of the week. If it's good, we'll make a double page centre spread pull-out with it." Annie grinned happily.
"Danny?"
"I've been monitoring the twitter feeds of Greendale staff and students. I thought maybe we could collect some of the best tweets and put them on the opinion pages."
"I can see it now – 'The wit and Wisdom of Greendale'. If you can get enough good ones we'll make a regular column of it, on the back page next to the crossword. Nice idea, kid."
"Kate?"
"I've got word of a scandal in the kitchens – chicken fingers are being misappropriated and sold privately to friends of the chef, which is why they always run out in the canteen."
"Everybody loves chicken fingers. If you can stand this up in the next couple of days we may have another front page lead."
"Radar?"
"The dean has asked us to run an advertisement promoting the Spring Formal he's organising for just over a month's time. I was planning on cutting some pictures and filler material in so it looks more like a feature and less like an advert."
"Greendale is having a Spring Formal?" Jeff could barely believe his ears.
"If you turn up in appropriate attire you get a performing arts credit." Abed added.
Jeff grinned suddenly. "You can get credits for anything in this place. I'll have to get my Tux dry-cleaned then." Annie perked up noticeably. Jeff winked at her.
"The only other thing we need is a big consumer interest feature piece. So here's what I want – you two," he pointed at Danny and Kate. "Are going undercover. I want an investigation into the best and worst places in Greendale to eat for under, oh, twenty bucks a head – we can cover that on expenses can't we, Radar?" Abed nodded.
"Good. The nice places will be recommended to the student body and the bad places will be subjects of health and safety exposes. It's vital that these places do not catch on that you are reporters – this investigation has to be untainted by suspicion that you're getting favourable treatment. You're going to have to pretend to be two kids crazy about each other and out on a date, and you can't afford to let the disguise slip. I know this is a big ask, but can you do it?"
"Um, I think so Mr Winger." Danny said.
Kate just nodded, not quite able to meet his eyes.
"Okay, get out of here. I want a list of five likely restaurants by the end of the day."
Danny and Kate left the room. Jeff turned to Annie, who was grinning so hard it was threatening to split her face in two. "Awwww Jeff, that was so sweet!"
"I've no idea what you're talking about – it's an obvious follow-on to last week's pizza wars story." But Jeff was grinning almost as much.
XXXXXX
(The next day, Annie, Kate and Danny are in the newsroom. Danny is studying twitter feeds.)
"What the - ? This one's going viral!"
Annie and Kate came over to look over his shoulders.
The first tweet was from an account called "pierce_hawthorne hawthornewipes"
And simply said – "Greendale's most closeted gay has a new beard – Jeff Winger is banging hot stats professor Michelle Slater!"
The number of re-tweets was going up faster than Danny could keep track. Annie's face went white.
xxxxxx
Annie didn't think she could face Jeff in Study Room B for their usual 4PM session, but she wasn't the sort of girl to just run away either, so she was compromising by sitting on the steps in front of the building with her arms wrapped around her knees. When Jeff arrived, he took one look at her and lowered himself down so he was sitting next to her, close but not close enough to touch.
"I'm guessing you heard, then?"
"I think everybody's heard, Jeff."
"Look, if it means anything, I didn't mean you to find out this way - actually, I didn't mean for anybody to find out this way, but especially not you."
Annie just looked at him with a neutral expression on her face. "Why especially not me, Jeff?"
Jeff didn't answer her directly. "Today has been beyond crazy. First of all, the dean dragged Michelle and I back to his office to fill out relationship notification forms - did you know he maintains a hotness register of staff and students? Apparently I'm number two and Michelle's seven."
"Who's number one?" Annie couldn't resist asking.
"It's the dean's list, he probably is." Jeff smiled and continued with his story. "But then when Michelle described our relationship as boyfriend/girlfriend and I described us as friends, she basically dumped me."
"I wonder why?"
"Your sarcasm's improving, Edison." Jeff said wryly. "But you're right. So I apologised to her, said I didn't care what label we used so long as the relationship itself didn't change, so now I'm officially somebody's boyfriend."
"Are you getting anywhere closer to answering my question yet, Jeff?" Annie's voice was still carefully devoid of any feeling.
"Because I think I may owe it to you that I'm doing this."
"What?" Annie's voice cracked slightly.
"I've always been afraid of feelings, and commitment, and relationships and labels and all that stuff - but it occurred to me if I can have a girl as a friend for months now without screwing it up or freaking out, then maybe I can handle having a girlfriend, you know?"
Yay me, Annie thought to herself.
Jeff was finally starting to pick up on Annie's mood.
"We are going to be okay, aren't we, Edison? I really value your friendship and would hate it if this caused a problem."
Of course I have a problem with it! Annie wanted to scream. What she actually said was "Would you dump her if I said it was a problem and I asked you to?"
"You wouldn't." Jeff said with absolute certainty.
"Why not?"
He paused for a moment. "Because you're Annie Edison, and Annie Edison is better than that." He said simply.
Damn you, Winger. "Would you dump me if she asked you to?"
"No." This time the answer was immediate. You didn't say she was better than that, Annie realised suddenly.
"Really?"
"Really. If my girlfriend can't handle me having a friend who's a girl then that's something we're going to have to talk about."
"And if she insists?"
"I'll talk her round – I'm Jeff Winger remember? I can talk anybody round." He had his cocky grin back.
Annie couldn't help smiling too. "See what I mean?" He said. She punched him lightly in the arm.
He went serious again. "So, are we okay?"
Annie looked at the expression on his face. You're actually worried I'll say 'no', aren't you? She realised. Annie suddenly found herself thinking of all the times that Jeff had talked about his previous… partners without it even occurring to him to consider her feelings and wondered what had changed. Don't even go there, Annie.
"Yes, we're okay." She said, and even managed a convincing smile. Annie got up and started walking to the car park, Jeff followed her. "You'll probably need to know that Danny's writing this up as a story for the paper, though."
"I'll just have to spike it then."
"Not unless you want to produce next week's issue single handed you won't." Annie was smiling at him properly now.
"Who was that guy we learned about in Art Appreciation? The one who was tied to a post and pelted with arrows?"
"Saint Sebastian?"
"I know how he feels now."
