Regina wasn't sure if she was supporting Killian or he was supporting her. Once they'd finally worked out the correct direction to go in to get to Regina's house, they'd started to stumble along, but it wasn't long before they'd had to grab on to each other to stop themselves or each other from falling over. As they where making their way back towards the mansion, Killian started to hum Iris. A few minutes later, Regina joined in. Soon they where both humming along and then they caught each others eye.
"We did get interrupted before our stunning finale…" Killian trailed off.
"It would be a shame to leave it unfinished…." Regina looked at Killian, Killian looked at Regina. They both looked around, noting the deserted streets and lack of people to complain. They grinned at each other, taking swigs from their respective bottles before clearing their throats dramatically. Then with their arms around each others shoulders as they staggered home, they started to "sing".
"AND I'D GIVE UP FOREVER TO TOUCH YOUUUUUUU, COS I KNOW THAT YOU FEEEEELLLLL ME SOME HOOOOWWWW, YOU'RE THE CLOSEST TO HEAVEN THAT I'LL EVER BE, AND I DON'T WANNA GO HOME RIGHT NOOOOWWWWWWWW"
"But we are going home, are we not?" Killian slurred.
"Yeah, because we got kicked out of the Rabbit Hole and I didn't have the foresight to create more than one bar in this crappy town" Regina grumbled. "WAIT, DID YOU CALL MY HOUSE YOUR HOME!? Don't get any ideas pirate" she growled menacingly. But Killian merely started to sing again, trying his best to give her puppy dog eyes in his drunken state.
"AND ALL I CAN TASTE IS THIS MOMENT, AND ALL I CAN BREATHE IS YOUR LIFE. AND SOONER OR LATER IT'S OVER I JUST DON'T WANNA MISS YOU TONIIIIIGGHHHTT"
"Why the hell are you sining that at me?!" Regina laughed, and Killian just smirked, and shrugged. They both launched in to the next part together. Swaying as they staggered along.
" AND I DON'T WANT THE WORLD TO SEE MEEEEEEEEEE" they covered their faces with their hands, although it didn't work too well considering they where clutching their bottles in said hands, "COS I DON'T THINK THAT THEY'D UNDERSTAAAAAAND. WHEN EVERYTHING'S MADE TO BE BROKEEENN, I JUST WANT YOU TO KNOW WHO I AAAAAAAMMMMMMM" they sang while pointing at each other.
They where a block away from Regina's mansion when Emma finally caught up to them. She had to fight the urge to laugh at the spectacle they made, staggering down the street, arms thrown around each other, bottles being waved from side to side as they belted out Iris…badly. It wasn't hard when she remembered why she was there. This was not going to be good. "Stop right there. Bottles down" she called out.
"Noooo not my rum" Killian cried as he clutched it to his chest, Regina rolling her eyes but doing the same with her bottle.
"Sheriff Swan. What can we do for you" Regina tried to sound as formal as she could, while seeing multiple Emma's wavering in front of her like some sort of waking nightmare.
"Emma? Is it really? Can't quite see straight right now, sorry love" Emma gave him The Look. Killian was unconcerned, probably because he was crooning to his bottle of rum and not paying any attention.
"I had a call about the two of you. I'm supposed to be arresting you for being drunk and disorderly in a public place, but looking at the state of the two of you, I think I'll let it slide this time. For once I don't think either of you mean any harm"
"What is that supposed to mean Miss Swan?" Regina said indignantly. "The only one around here causing any harm is you, with your thoughtlessness. I would have thought you knew better, surely you've seen Back To The Future, but evidently, as usual, you thought you knew better" Regina sneered. Did I just cite a movie about a time travelling car as a source of knowledge? Damn wine. Emma was frowning at her, and Regina wasn't sure if it was in confusion at what she'd just said or in general distaste. "Don't worry, it's impossible to use magic when you're this drunk, your precious town is safe"
"Regina, look-"
"Save it Miss Swan. You and I both know you aren't going to apologise or admit you where wrong. Which means there is nothing you can say that I want to hear" Regina waved dismissively.
"You really should apologise love, I did tell you not to do it but you didn't listen to me. No-one ever listens to me, you know…." he trailed off.
"I know Killian, but I couldn't leave an innocent person-"
"To die. We know" Killian and Regina said in unison.
"You brought her back because you didn't want to change things but you changed things anyway. You walk around all self righteous, getting every single thing that you want. Yet after working so hard, you take away the one thing I want. Then you won't even admit that you where wrong. It's not losing Robin that would make me go Evil Queen Emma. It's you. You and your family and the way you treat me. The way you automatically assume I'm going to go evil after all the work I've done. No matter what I do, you will all always distrust me, always suspect me. It makes me wonder why I even bother. That is what would make me change Miss Swan" Regina snarled softly.
"Now now ladies" Killian said getting between them. "Regina I rather resent you telling another your inner feelings. I thought that was my job?" Killian pouted.
"You look ridiculous, you're not even looking in the right direction" Regina tried to keep her composure, what shreds she had of it, but she had to laugh at the squinting pirate looking just over her shoulder.
"What do you mean your job?" Emma asked
"I am Regina's BF-"
"I TOLD you not to say it that way!"
"Right, yes, what did it stand for again? …..oh yes! Best Friend Forever" Killian declared proudly. Regina looked heavenward and sighed.
"…you and Regina are best friends?" Emma asked incredulously. Killian frowned, leaning in close to whisper to her furiously.
"Oh I see, you gave me your permission to befriend her, permission that I did not need by the way love, but you still thought I'd spy for you. Keep an eye on her anyway. Pretend to be her friend is that it?"
"I don't know, I thought you where just feeling guilty because of the whole Marian thing and touchy about the villain thing. I didn't think you'd go out and get drunk with her!"
"So you thought I'd still just go along with you like your little lap dog. It may have escaped your notice love, but I don't have any friends. Much like Regina, I am a reformed villain, people aren't queuing up to befriend us. Who did you think I was with when I wasn't with you?" Emma shrugged guiltily. "I was all on my own. I thought for once it would be nice to have a friend. Regina and I are much alike, we understand each other a lot better than you do apparently. You always forget I was a villain Emma, yet your father never does. I remember what happened in the boat house, how you and your family turned on me, much like you immediately turned on Regina, thinking the worst when she hadn't even done anything. I meant it when I said I wanted to befriend her. To have a friend of my own. This situation just gave me the push I need because no-one else was going to be there for her where they? You're all too busy suspecting her of things she hasn't even done yet. As for Henry you forbade him from coming near her. Even I know Regina would never hurt her own son, you forget who raised him lovingly before you came in to his life" Emma flinched. Killian felt bad but Emma had to hear it, harsh as it may be it was the truth and Killian was angry at her for treating Regina like this. The alcohol didn't really help his self control. "I love you Emma, but right now I am ashamed of you"
Emma looked up in to his eyes. She knew he was right. She knew she was wrong, but she just….she couldn't admit it. She just couldn't because then she'd have to admit that she had completely destroyed Regina's happy ending, just like her mother had, and not cared or thought twice while doing it. She had thought she was right. She had ignored Killian's advice and thought she knew best. Knew better than a however many hundred year old pirate. Regina was right. She had seen Back To The Future, she did know better. She was ashamed of herself for making Regina want to give up. Ashamed for thinking Regina would harm Henry. She should apologise to Regina but every time she opened her mouth it all came out wrong. As for Killian…she was ashamed that she hadn't realised he had no other friends.
"Killian-" He cut her off, stepping back and addressing Regina.
"What was that I'll keep you my little dirty secret song thing?"
"Dirty Little Secret?"
"That's the one! That's me and Emma with her parents. After all the hard work I've done to reform myself, her parents still don't trust me. Her father would love to run me through with a sword. That man is never going to trust me. Doesn't mater what I do, or what I say."
"Killian that's not true-"
"Yes love, it is" he leaned in to whisper furiously again, "All of this is making me wonder why I bother to be so heroic when your bloody father is just waiting for me to…how did you say it? Fall off the wagon?"
"Killian I'm sorry" Emma said desperately. Killian looked down at her realising the alcohol may have allowed him to go too far, then decided he was too drunk to care and just nodded. "Don't tell me" he said, then nodded in Regina's direction.
"I will fix things okay, but not when the two of you are this hammered. I promise. Okay?" Killian nodded. "Are we…are we okay? I'll speak to my dad and-"
"It's okay Emma. Just….please make things right with Regina. She is my friend. She deserves an apology and she's in pain right now love" Killian said quietly. Emma nodded to him.
Killian stepped back, raising his voice to a normal level, "Anyway Swan, Regina and I where just returning from our Villains Anonymous meeting, I got the idea from that moving picture you showed me."
"Show Killian…it's a TV show, remember" Killian shrugged, scratching the behind his ear. Emma rolled her eyes.
"So what? The two of you are drunk-"
"I don't know why you keep saying we're drunk love, we're merely two friends returning from a meeting is all" Emma looked at Regina who was shaking her head and mouthing "We're totally wasted" at her, all previous animosity forgotten as she'd become lost in her thoughts while the two of them where having their whispering match. Thoughts that had revolved around wondering if there was some sort of gravity magic going on, or if the world was just spinning because of how much she'd drunk. The scuff of footsteps made her look up.
"Please tell me I'm hallucinating" Regina mumbled as David came striding up to the group.
"Regina, you okay? Snow wanted me to come and check on you, I would have been here sooner but I had to take Grumpy down to the station" Regina warmed at the thought that David...the one she had assumed would be most vehement about her turning evil again...had come to check on her.
"Bloody hell there's three of them" Killian jumped when he finally laid eyes..sort of...on David. David just turned to Killian and levelled him with a stare. Killian squeaked and hid behind Regina. "THAT'S THE LOOK! That's it! The one he gets before he runs someone through with a sword" Killian shrieked rather shrilly in Regina's ear, while pointing over her shoulder.
"I'm fine, thank you David" Regina said with a genuine smile at the man, which he returned...before going back to giving Killian The Stare. "Killian and I where just on our way home after a few drinks"
"A few? I rather think your playing down our-"
"Will you shut up? Or do you want him to take the other hand?" Regina hissed. Killian looked up at David briefly before resuming his hiding.
"They where just telling me all about their meeting" Emma chimed in.
"Meeting? What meeting?" David asked curiously.
"An ex villains meeting, apparently"
"...an ex villains meeting?" David said thoughtfully.
"Exactly" Killian nodded emphatically. Momentarily moving out from behind Regina.
"They're friends as well apparently" Emma smirked, knowing David was going to lose his mind.
"FRIENDS? You have got to be kidding me" David looked between Killian and Regina, his jaw dropped slightly.
"Best friends" Killian stressed. Emma and David looked to Regina as if for confirmation. Truth be told Emma was more surprised Regina had consented to being friends with him. Regina shrugged.
"Are you sure about this Regina..." David asked with concern.
"It's not like anyone else was offering, he's been a surprisingly good friend to me. Tonight wouldn't have been as much fun for me without him." Regina said. David read the pain in her eyes, looked thoughtfully between the two of them and just nodded.
"Besides he's my mould. My brain mould" Emma stared at her.
"Yep. I grew on her like mould" Killian said proudly. Emma and David just stared at them.
"Go. Now. Straight back to the house." Emma sighed. Regina and Killian looked at each other. "Now" Emma growled.
As the pair went to move David grabbed Killian by the arm and leaned in to whisper in his ear, "If you're just using her for..whatever...if any of this friends business is just you being...well...you" he said with distaste, "If you hurt Regina in any way, they'll be calling you Captain No Hands. Got it pirate?" David finished with a fierce glare. Killian gulped.
"Oh David, we really need to work on that. Don't worry I'll teach you my threatening...witty...ugh you know what I mean, ways" Regina finished managing to keep the slurring to a minimum. David just chuckled at her, giving her a brief hug. "Drink a glass of water before you sleep okay?" Regina just rolled her eyes at him. David turned to look at Killian.
Killian grabbed Regina by the arm, and the two of them staggered off as fast as they could. Emma watched the pair and tried not to laugh as Killian started to drunkenly sing "I FOUGHT THE LAAAAWWWW AND IIIIIIIIIIIIII WOOOONNNN" laughing quietly at the changed lyric. Before Regina started proudly shouting, "I TAUGHT HIM THAT!" Emma shook her head at the pair while David just smiled.
"Well, who would of thought it? It's good that she has a friend. Even if it is the pirate" David said. Emma just nodded, scanning the nearby shadows before calling out.
"You can come out now"
Robin slid out of the shadows.
