One Stupid Thing

A/N: This sure didn't go where I had intended it to go. I'm anxious to hear what you think. And I'm a little bit afraid. ;)


Chapter 9: Two Rites, Same Night

August 27…8 months ago

EPOV (23 years old)

It was just shy of ten o'clock when I pulled into the driveway of my parents' house, opening the garage door as I parked the car. The Mercedes was gone. That's when I remembered that my parents had a function to attend this evening in Port Angeles. Some fundraiser for the hospital. I was a little relieved to find myself home alone, not feeling like really talking with anyone. I was glad it was just my parents and I in the house at this point but I was even happier that it was just me for the evening.

I really needed to get my own place. Especially if Alice was moving back home. Things weren't turning out well for her in fashion design in Los Angeles and she was packing up and moving back to Forks; she would be returning next weekend. It's not that Alice and I didn't get a long, we did, we got along really well; we had a better relationship than Emmett and I did. It was just that it would feel too much like high school all over again if we were both still living here under the same roof with our parents once again.

Another reason why I wanted my own place was I wanted to be able to come and go as I pleased. I wouldn't be home during the week until one or two a.m. and I didn't want to have to worry about disturbing my parents if I came home and wanted to watch TV or play the guitar or piano at odd hours. And I'd gotten used to my privacy. That was hard to give up after having it for the past couple of years. Plus it was just kind of irritating, taking that step back and staying in your childhood home, sleeping in your childhood bed when you'd already been off on your own. That actually really sucked.

I headed into the house, shutting the garage door and tossing my keys on the little console table right inside. I walked into the darkened kitchen and opened the fridge, grabbing a beer. I'd only had the one drink this evening and I was feeling like I could use another one.

I opened the sliding door that lead out onto the patio and took a seat on a chair facing the woods beyond our yard. Just me and my beer. And my thoughts. I picked at the label on the beer bottle, making a little pile of crumbs on my lap as I drank that beer.

I'd been trying to catch up to Bella all these years; trying to grow up quickly so I could be the man with whom she'd fall in love. But we were never at the same place in our lives at the same time. I was stuck behind her, because of my age, even though I'd tried to catch my life up to hers, to push myself to get on with being an adult as quickly as I could.

Bella, in the meantime, had moved right along with her education, career and life. She'd also drifted from one unsuitable relationship to another. It was easy for me to take that point of view, I had put her on a pedestal and every other guy she had ever dated never seemed to quite understand just how wonderful and truly special and beautiful she was. They hadn't all been as awful as asinine Tyler Crowley. She'd been more careful after that situation. But they just never seemed to get it. Or get her. The relationships had never really lasted, either, so she must have felt things were never really quite right with them either.

I took another swig of my beer as I thought about my own pitiful love life.

Just like Bella's relationships, mine had never lasted long either. That goes without saying, I guess, since she'd always been at the back of my mind. Of course I'd flirted with girls and later with women. I'd dated. Actually, I'd dated a lot. For some reason I'd never had a difficult time hooking up with girls. There had been random girlfriends through the years, but really, none of those relationships had been very serious and few had ever lasted for very long. God knows I tried to find someone that could just take her place and make that obsession go away. But it had been useless. No one had ever come close to making me forget her.

For a period of time in high school and college I'd only gone out with brown-haired, brown-eyed girls, hoping someone would eclipse the feelings I had for her. But it had been in vain. None of them had been the right brown-haired, brown-eyed beauty. There had always been something lacking.

I'd finally expanded my horizons; sampling blonds and redheads, as well as additional brunettes; but it had been no use. It would be good for a while and things would get physical to varying degrees, but it would never last. All over again I'd feel that essential piece missing from whatever relationship I had going.

The girls themselves hadn't really been the problem. Most of them had been very sweet, very caring girls and we'd had fun and enjoyed ourselves together but I always had a slightly restless feeling. I don't know if I ever truly realized what the problem was until I would once again be thrust back into some situation where I would see Bella or hear about her; our lives would somehow collide and I would know, all over again, just what was lacking. Those girls just weren't her. They were lacking the Bella Swan Factor.

When I'd polished off my beer I gathered up the little pile of paper crumbs from the label, tipping them into the empty bottle and tossing the bottle into the trash. I headed to my room, stripping off my clothes and tossing them in the laundry basket in my closet. I turned and surveyed the annoying familiarity of my room. My old twin bed faced the closet, a nightstand stood on the side in the corner, a small dresser next to the window and a desk with a bookshelf above it on the other wall. Except for the flatscreen TV that stood atop the dresser, my room looked exactly like the room I had inhabited since junior high school. I was aching to leave it all behind and move the furniture I'd had in my apartment in Seattle, the furniture which was now crammed into our garage, into a place I could call my own. I wanted someplace that would have my own stamp on it and not my mother's interior design touches from a decade ago.

I sighed as I headed into the shower to clean up and relax under the hot, soothing spray. I would find a place tomorrow. Forks didn't have that many options and I'd already scouted around a bit. There were two more places I wanted to check out and I could easily do that in the morning before going off to work at ten o'clock to gear up for the lunch crowd.

When I got out of the shower I toweled off and pulled on a pair of boxers, picking my phone up off the nightstand and sending a quick text to Jasper, letting him know I was going to blow off our Saturday morning run tomorrow, opting for apartment hunting before work instead. I set the alarm on my phone for seven fifteen but turned off the sound for incoming texts or calls. I was tired and didn't want to hear from Jasper in the middle of the night.

I put my phone back down on the nightstand, pulled back the covers on the bed and slid in between the cool sheets. I reached over and shut the light, lying there in the darkness with an arm crooked under my head, thinking about seeing Bella Swan again tonight. A line from the film classic, Casablanca, suddenly came to mind. "Of all the gin joints in all the towns, in all the world, she walks into mine." I guess it was inevitable she would walk into Cullen's; she lived right here in Forks after all. I could sympathize with Bogart, though…I had to wonder where this would lead. Bogart didn't get the girl and there was a good chance I wouldn't either. Still…maybe Fate put us both back here for a reason.

I lay there for a long time, thinking about the conversation this evening in the bar, remembering the way she'd looked; her expressive eyes and mouth as she spoke and laughed. I thought about that little static thrill I'd felt running up my spine the whole time I'd been seated at the table near her. I wanted more of that sensation, feeling that I could easily become addicted to it.

I rolled over and reached for my phone, checking the time and setting the phone back down. It was after midnight.

My mind drifted as I closed my eyes, thinking back a handful of years to a lovely young woman in a pretty dark steel-gray satin dress, posing for a photograph with her student, a boy dressed in a tuxedo at his senior prom, just a few weeks before he'd turned eighteen.

May 28…5 years ago

EPOV (17 years old…12th grade)

"Edward, let your father help you with your tie; it's still crooked."

"Mom, I've got to go! I said I'd be there by six thirty and it's already six fifteen."

"Carlisle! Can you please help your impatient son?"

My dad hurried down the stairs.

"I just wanted to get the camera. Now, Edward, you'll be sure to get photos, won't you? We'll get a few of you here, but we'd like some of you with your date…"

"Yes, I promise, we'll do photos but I have to go!"

"Fix his tie, Carlisle," my mom pressed as she stood there beaming at me.

"Oh, right, right. Here, hold the camera, Edward." My dad handed me the camera then reached up, undoing the bow tie, the real bow tie…not just a cheesy clip on, and began re-doing it as he spoke up once again, pausing to glance at my eyes as he did so.

"You be on your best behavior tonight, Edward. This is an elegant affair and your behavior reflects on you and your upbringing."

"I know, dad, I'll be fine. You have nothing to worry about."

I wondered if he'd had this same talk with Emmett before he'd left for his senior prom four years ago. I wondered if Emmett had mentioned the flask he'd secreted away in a jacket pocket…the flask filled with his own special concoction of every possible booze my dad had in the liquor cabinet. It still made me shiver to think of how it must have tasted.

"There," he said, finally finished fiddling with my bow tie. "That looks perfect. Let me get a photo. Do you have the corsage?"

"Oh my goodness, I'll get it!" My mom bustled out of the room, heading into the kitchen to the refrigerator where the corsage was in its little package in cold storage. She hurried back into the room, thrusting it into my hands.

"Okay, smile, Edward," my dad said, barely giving me enough time to grin at the camera. "One more, with your mom. Esme, step closer. Edward, put your arm around your mother." He peered at the little screen.

"Mom isn't my date. Why am I taking a photo with her?"

"Humor me, Edward," my mother said with a smile as she gave my butt a light, swift swat.

Dad clicked away, the flash momentarily blinding me. I was finally allowed to leave after my mom hugged me, telling me I looked so handsome. My dad told me to "have fun within reason," and I was finally out the door, hustling to my car.

On the drive over I thought about how confusing life could be. Here I was, seventeen years old, off to prom, one of the perceived highlights of my senior year, a "rite of passage" as Alice had once called it, and I had seriously mixed feelings.

I was not taking the girl of my dreams to the prom, though that girl would be there. I wondered who Bella's date would be and if it were someone she had truly been dating or merely a friend who was accompanying her to an obligation she had, as a member of the Forks High teaching staff. I couldn't very well have asked my high school Spanish teacher to the prom…not , of course…but her student teacher, the ever so lovely and completely unaware, Isabella Swan.

Me taking Bella to the prom would certainly have raised the eyebrows of every single member of the Forks High School community, not to mention probably get Bella arrested by her own father for being some kind of sexual predator. Not that I would have had any kind of problem with any sexually predatory inclinations on her part. I would have gone right along with any of those inclinations…they'd been in my head the entire semester as I'd sat in her classroom, listening to her every word, watching her every move, responding to her questions, wondering if she had any idea just how in love with her I felt.

I'd kept things under wraps though, behaving like the typical teenage boy, knowing how inappropriate it would have been for me to acknowledge how I really felt and let that secret out. I knew I couldn't do that to her and I'd be embarrassed to do that to myself. And so instead of going to the prom with the woman I really wanted to take, I was instead taking the girl I'd dated since mid-January, the girl who had become my first real girlfriend at the beginning of second semester, two and a half weeks later.

I'd made that decision the day I'd been severely shocked, suddenly finding myself face to face with the object of my true desires, standing in front of the classroom in Mrs. Goff's Spanish Four class. The minute I saw Isabella Swan standing before us, being introduced to the class as Señorita Swan, Mrs. Goff's student teacher, our teacher for the entire second semester, I knew I needed a distraction and a cover. I needed a girlfriend for the first time in my life.

It wasn't like I was totally inexperienced. I'd gone out with the occasional girl since tenth grade when the true object of my desires had moved away to the University of Washington in Seattle. And there'd been numerous times throughout the past several years when I'd been at parties and found myself making out with some random girl who had put the moves on me. Of course I'd allowed it due to mild interest, excessive alcohol intake, poor judgment or a combination of those factors. Usually I'd just closed my eyes and pretended I was kissing the girl I'd always imagined myself to be kissing in my thoughts and dreams: Bella Swan.

But once I saw Bella at the front of that classroom and knew I'd be seeing her there on a daily basis until the end of the school year, I knew I needed someone more permanent to keep me distracted and busy and occupied so I didn't say or do something stupid regarding the youthful and alluring Miss Swan.

And so the girl I'd dated mid-January, for winter formal, became the girl I continued to ask out. Winter formal had been our first date; another "rite of passage" I'd felt compelled to experience with my friends and classmates. We'd actually had a very good time together. She'd been the logical choice to ask to that dance since we'd known each other for quite a while, shared several classes together, had the same group of friends, most of whom were already coupled up, and she'd had an interest in the sports events I'd participated in since she was Forks High's head cheerleader.

I'd known for a while that she'd had an interest in me and since she'd always been fun, friendly, outgoing and nice to me I'd decided to give the girlfriend thing a shot, sticking with my prior winter formal date and fellow Spanish Four class student. And so Jessica Stanley became my first real girlfriend.

And I was taking her to the prom tonight, these four and a half months later.

But I would see Bella tonight at the prom, too, dressed up and glorious and maybe, if I was lucky, I could ask her for one dance and my evening, my semester, my senior year and my entire high school life would be complete. If she said yes I'd probably fucking die and go to heaven.

The car was stopped, parked and the keys were in my hand. I wondered how long I'd been sitting there at my destination, lost in my thoughts. I grabbed the boxed corsage off the front seat next to me and quickly scrambled out of the car.

When I got into the Stanley's house Jessica was all ready to go. I told her she looked pretty. She was wearing a hot pink gown; rather low-cut and displaying her cleavage. At seventeen, I was a big fan of cleavage, whether in print, in film, or live and in person. And if said cleavage was going to be on display for me for the entire evening, well, I felt compelled to admire it. You do these things out of obligation as a seventeen year old boy.

Jessica's curly brown hair was up, piled on top of her head with a few little sparkly pins holding things in place. She looked excited and happy. She told me I looked "gorgeous" in my tux and I rolled my eyes at her but thanked her all the same. She actually told me I looked gorgeous on a somewhat regular basis and I never really knew what to say about that. I wondered sometimes if she remembered I had a brain inside my head as well as the "gorgeous" face on the front of it.

I handed her the box with the white baby orchid wrist corsage I'd bought for her and she squealed, saying it was so pretty. I didn't know why she was so surprised; it was more or less what she had hinted at wanting. She opened the box and I helped her put it on. Once she had grabbed her small purse and shawl, Mr. Stanley took a handful of photos of the two of us and we were finally allowed to leave.

We met Jasper and his current girlfriend, Katie Marshall, for our double-date dinner reservations at The Huntsman Steak House. The two of them were just walking up to the entrance of the restaurant when we got there and I honked the horn at them. They waved and waited for us at the door while I parked.

The girls spent a few minutes squealing at each other's dresses and gushing about how pretty each other looked and how handsome Jasper and I looked. I rolled my eyes at Jasper and he quietly told me I looked "good enough to eat," sliding his eyes meaningfully in Jessica's direction and then looking back at me with a smirk. With a polite smile I quietly told him to "fuck off."

Katie ordered the chicken dinner, Jessica wanted the filet mignon and Jasper and I both decided on the New York steak dinner. After the salad course the two girls got up to hit the restroom together…because that's what girls do, we'd discovered. I realized they probably had to compare notes or give each other pep talks or discuss the logistics of post-prom dalliances. And that left me with Jasper to compare notes with him.

"So, you and Jess finally going to consummate things tonight, Edward?" Jasper drawled the moment we were alone. He was drumming his fingertips on the tabletop.

"So, you really think it's any of your business, Jasper?" I asked in return, feeling rather irritated. I wasn't sure if I was irritated with him or with myself and this whole situation. It wasn't like I was Mr. Prim and Proper but Jessica had been pressing the issue of having sex and I'd been somewhat reluctant, feeling like I would be cheating on my true love if I pursued what any normal guy my age might, given the opportunity.

He laughed and shrugged. "I'm just saying Jessica seems pretty eager and you've only got a month of high school left to lose your v-card unless you're planning on going off to college 'intact.'" He even used finger quotes as he spoke. "Besides, you two have been dating since, what…January? And here it is, nearly June…I didn't think Jessica Stanley would wait that long to jump your bones…or your bone, rather…she's had a crush on you for like…forever, dude. Unless, of course, you're saving yourself for the right girl?" Jasper had another annoying smirk on his face.

I couldn't very well tell him I was contemplating saving myself for my Spanish teacher, could I? Nope. No, I could not. He'd laugh himself sick and I, in turn, would be violently ill and die of mortification. I'd never told him how I'd felt about Bella and I wasn't about to share that information tonight.

"You know, Jasper, we've known each other for so long you're like a brother to me. Right now, you really seem just like my brother…like my asshat of a brother…Emmett. I don't know how to make it clear to you that my personal life really is personal but rest assured, if I ever feel like sharing that kind of information, I will most likely share it with you."

Jasper picked up his Coke and took a long drink. "Well, Edward, just keep in mind that life is filled with experiences; learning experiences that will give you much needed skills for the future. It's a veritable smorgasbord of opportunity and you get to pick and choose Besides, sex and the prom go hand in hand; it's practically expected, sort of a rite of passage." He smiled that smug, self-satisfied smile of his. He might be fine with experimenting with whomever, whenever the opportunity arose, but I wasn't so sure about me. I was conflicted.

"Whatever," I succinctly and vaguely replied as the girls returned to our table.

"Rite of passage?" Has he been talking with Alice, for fuck's sake?

Dinner progressed, seeming to take forever, until we finally finished and paid the bill and left for the decorated and transformed high school gym.

The prom itself was a blur of music and lights and dancing bodies. I participated, of course. I kept my cover, being attentive to Jessica, dancing and hanging out, getting us drinks and snacks, laughing and talking with friends as the night wore on. But my true focus, the minute I got in the door, was to surreptitiously watch the newest, youngest and most beautiful member of the Forks High teaching staff.

Jessica and I had spoken to Señorita Swan and her date earlier in the evening. Jessica had wanted to say hi to the teachers we had who were chaperoning the dance. I went along because of course I wanted to know who the hell the big, dark-skinned guy with all the teeth was and whether or not he and Bella were an actual item. I'd been relieved when she'd introduced Jacob Black as a friend; a childhood friend. We chatted with them for a little while before I thought to suggest that Jessica and I should have our photos taken with Señorita Swan, since our Spanish teacher was a former Forks High graduate and Jessica and I were about to be Forks High graduates. It was a ridiculous ruse, but it worked and that was really all that mattered to me.

Jessica posed first with Bella and then I posed with her after that. I couldn't take my eyes off her as I stood there with my arm around her waist. When we finished Bella waved the big toothy guy over to have their photo taken together as well. I wasn't too happy about that but he was her childhood friend, after all, I really couldn't begrudge him a photo with her, could I?

I didn't work up the nerve to speak with Bella alone, however, until late in the evening. Her childhood friend-date was sitting at a table speaking with Coach Clapp and Mrs. Clapp, leaving Bella alone and unattended as she stood, watching the students dancing. I decided that was my best opportunity to ask her to dance.

"Hey, Bella. Shoot, sorry! I mean 'Miss Swan.' Sorry about that." I shook my head at my stupidity. It was completely understandable stupidity, given how lovely she looked, with her long, wavy hair cascading down around her porcelain shoulders and bare arms. Her deep chocolate eyes were amazing, accentuated with make up that was not overdone but merely highlighted her natural beauty.

"Edward, hi!" She waved her hand dismissively at my blunder in calling her Bella. "Don't worry about it. I know it's got to have been hard remembering to be so formal with me at school all semester long. Have you and Jessica been having a good time tonight?"

"Oh, yeah. The prom's been great. The music's pretty good." I looked back around at the people dancing and sitting at the linen-covered tables, set with fancy little floral centerpieces. I was suddenly feeling a little tongue tied and though I wanted to ask her for a dance I didn't know how to go about it without coming off like an idiot.

"Quite a crowd here," I suddenly blurted out instead. "Are you and your date having a good time?"

"Yes, thank you, Edward," she said with a smile. "I think I'm probably having a better time than Jacob is, though he was a good sport about accompanying me. I've seen quite a few of my students here tonight and it was fun to have the opportunity to see everyone all dressed up."

I smiled and nodded at her, silently telling myself to grow some balls and just ask her to dance already. If Lee Stevens and Austin Marks had been able to ask her to dance then surely I could do the same. And her date, the big Quileute dude with the dental anomaly…he'd had no problem dancing with Samantha White and Lauren Mallory, when they'd asked him.

I took a deep breath, crossed my fingers and leaned down toward Bella's ear.

"Would you dance the next one with me, Bella?"

She turned and smiled at me, blushing slightly. "Sure, Edward. I'd love to."

I hoped to God I wasn't smiling like too much of a loon as I took in her response. I think I nodded and said 'great' and maybe mumbled something else but couldn't be too sure of much of anything at that point.

Imagine my surprise and delight when the Fates and the DJ in charge of the evening's music combined forces and selected a slow dance number for the next musical interlude. I could see Bella falter at first, trying to decide if we should maybe wait until the next faster song, but I took her arm and led her out onto the dance floor before she could reach a conclusion.

Holy shit! I was about to hold Bella Swan in my arms for a slow dance.

I'd like to be able to say that I would always recall that particular tune as "our song." But even as the music played and I stood on the dance floor, taking her into my arms and swaying with her to the slow tempo, I've got to admit, every single fiber of my being, auditory system included, was focused on the magic of just being with her. I had absolutely no idea what song was playing as I held her small, warm body in my arms and felt her hands resting on my shoulders.

I didn't hold her as closely as I would have liked. I knew, deep down that there was a fine line between what I could get away with and impropriety. I couldn't cross the line into Improprietyville and so I held her at a little more distance than I would have liked but at least that way she also wouldn't be able to tell just how much I wanted her.

"You look really beautiful tonight, Bella. Your dress is really pretty; that blue-gray color suits you."

She blushed a little once again and I thought the color of her dress suited her rosy glow even better but I didn't mention that.

"Thank you for the compliment, Edward. You look so nice tonight too; such a handsome young man in your tuxedo." She was looking up at me, her lips curving into a sweet smile.

Her statement left me breathless. No matter how many times Jessica had told me I looked "gorgeous" this was the first time a woman had ever complimented me on my appearance and I felt pleased she thought that of me. I mumbled a thank you and smiled, feeling a little flushed, and then I forced myself to look up over her head so I wouldn't just lean down to her mouth and try to kiss her.

The song ended and I escorted her back to her table in the corner where she once again joined her date, Jacob Black, sitting there alone for the moment, looking up at the two of us with that big, unnatural, Crest 3D-White Professional Whitening Whitestrip smile of his.

August 28…8 months ago

EPOV (23 years old)

the song ended and I escorted her back to her table in the corner where she turned to me and spoke softly.

"It's awfully warm in here. Do you want to go outside for a few minutes and get some fresh air?"

"Sure, Bella," I answered, taking her by the hand and leading her out the side door of the gym where we stood alone in the cool night air, our faces illuminated by the silvery moon above, listening to the muffled sound of the music within the building.

Bella smiled softly at me as her arms reached up past my shoulders, her hands around the back of my neck, twining into my hair.

"Kiss me, Edward," she murmured, her eyes sparkling in the moonlight.

I bent my head down, threading my fingers up into her hair and angling her head to meet my lips as I sought hers. She kissed my lips softly before allowing me entrance to her mouth and the soft, warm, velvet touch of her tongue against mine.

I'd never kissed anyone as thoroughly as I kissed her in that moment, wanting to possess her mouth, to possess all of her and let her know just how much she meant to me. I felt her body relax into my arms, felt her warmth permeate my clothes and seep into my skin, until I felt as if I was glowing from within. That little electric sensation, that charge I'd felt so often, was scattering sparks throughout my body, making me feel as though I'd never really felt truly alive before.

We were both breathless when I finally pulled my lips away from hers.

"Edward…do you want to go?" she asked in a low voice, biting then on her lower lip.

"Where do you want to go?" I asked, as she pulled lightly at the hairs at the nape of my neck.

"To my place…if you'd like…or yours." I was now stroking her back lightly, ghosting my fingertips along her spine.

"All right," I answered in a low voice, nodding at the implication.

"Okay," she said breathlessly, " let me just go get my things."

I followed her inside as she stopped back to the now-empty table; Jacob Black was nowhere in sight. She picked up her small purse and shawl and then she slipped her hand through my arm as we headed to my car.

We stood in the doorway, kissing as we had in the moonlight. I eventually pulled away and clasped her hand in mine, leading her down the hall to the bedroom, untying my bow tie and unbuttoning my jacket as we went. I slung my jacket over a chair before turning to her and taking her in my arms once again, reaching up to the zipper at the back of her gown, unzipping her dress and letting it slide to the floor, pooling around her feet as we kissed. Her fingers slid from the back of my neck to the buttons of my shirt, unbuttoning until she finally pushed the shirt over my shoulders until it, too, fell to the ground with a rustling sigh. Shoes were discarded, pants and boxers and socks followed a bra and panties, whispering as they dropped until we stood facing each other, bare and yearning, ready and willing.

I pulled back the covers and followed her down to the bed, pulling her into my arms once again, holding her gently as I gazed down at her lovely face.

"Do you really want to do this, love? Are you sure?" I asked as I looked into her liquid chocolate eyes, shining up at me in the moonlight filtering in through the window.

"Yes, I'm sure…it's what I want Edward…I want you…I've always wanted you."

I closed my eyes, unable to believe what she was telling me, feeling her pull me over her, positioning myself above her as she held me to her. And then I eased into her, feeling her warmth enveloping me, welcoming me, reveling in the scent of her arousal.

"Ohhh, Bella…" I hissed, feeling her slick heat surrounding me like a glove, listening to her moans and gasps as I moved within her. "Oh my God, love, you feel so good."

She was clinging to me, kissing my neck and jaw, whispering my name, chanting, "Don't stop, Edward, please…don't stop."

I wasn't going to stop; I couldn't stop. I began moving faster, thrusting harder, deeper until I suddenly felt her quivering, crying out and grasping me from within her body. The static charge I always felt became a bright flare that burst within me and I stilled my movements as I came with a shout, gasping her name.

I blinked my eyes open, feeling my heart pounding within me. I turned my head to the side, looking at my empty bed, realizing with a sinking feeling that it had all been a dream. An unattainable dream.

Fuck!

I stretched, feeling the wet and sticky reality within my boxers.

Fuck!

I swept my hands over my face and ran my fingers through my hair.

Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.

It had been the kind of dream that feels so real you want to fall back asleep and go back to that place, recapturing what had felt so real and maybe never leaving there. The dream hadn't been unfamiliar. I'd had the dream before. It was partly based in fact.

I had cashed in my v-card the night of prom but it wasn't with the girl of my dreams. It had been Jessica Stanley who had had the dubious honor of showing me the ropes that first time. And in reality, for my part, things had been much more clumsy and tentative than deft and sure. And it had certainly felt more quick and experimental than enduring and romantic. But though I had shared that physical experience with Jessica Stanley, my heart, my soul and my imaginings had always belonged and would always belong to Bella Swan.

I reached over to the nightstand for my phone to check the time and saw I had a text from Jasper, sent during the night.

No run? Ur loss! Good luck with

the house hunt. Check out the apt

near The Grind. U'll like the view.

I checked the time. Just a little after seven. Plenty of time to get up, shower once again, now that I'd had a nocturnal jizz fest, get dressed for work, throw some laundry in the wash, and fix a quick bite to eat before I went to check out the two apartments I wanted to see. One of them was the place Jasper had mentioned. It was one of about a dozen relatively new units right near The Grind, Forks' answer to Starbucks. Maybe I'd just wait until I got there and grab a coffee and bagel at The Grind.

It was funny that Jasper thought to send me to the same apartment I was planning to check out. I thought about his message as I turned on the shower. "U'll like the view," he'd texted.

What view did he mean? The view of The Grind? All those apartments just faced each other. There was no real view. What the hell was he talking about?


A/N: I know…let me have it…and before anybody says anything about unprotected sex…keep in mind it was a dream sequence.

Reviews are better than Crest 3-D White Professional Whitening Whitestrips. ;D