AN: The internet connection here isn't great, but it is working, so I won't make you wait.

This chapter is (mostly) fluff, but I thought it would be nice after the last few chapters :)

And there is drama coming up soon enough.

Thank you for the many reviews!

Let me know what you think about this one as well.

Kat


Her father places her little sister in her arms and it is hard for her not to cry. She has never seen anything so beautiful in her life and this one moment does away with her fear of becoming a mother herself. She will write to Matthew that she is ready, that she is looking forward to him coming home, even if only on leave and that they can start to make a baby of their own.

"She is beautiful," she says and looks up at her father.

"Thank you, Mary."

"Did I look like that?"

"No. You looked far more serious, even when you were a newborn. You may not look like me, but you are like me. This one looks like Cora and she is like her I think."

In that moment she remembers that Cora is most likely dead and she doesn't dare to ask the question and is endlessly thankful when Lilly does, even if she does so without forming a coherent sentence.

"Is Cora, I mean, how,"

"She made it. Nobody knows how, but she made it."

Without thinking about what she is doing, she passes her sister off to Lilly and hugs her father who hugs her back so tightly that she thinks he might be cracking one of her ribs. Out of the corner of her eye she sees Lilly leave the room and when the door closes, she feels sobs wreck through her father's body. Neither one of them is good at dealing with crying relatives, neither one of them cries often, she can't remember ever having seen her father cry, but now he does and instinctively she just doesn't let go of him.

"Mary, I am sorry," he says eventually and she answers "Don't be. You thought you had lost your wife and quite possibly also your child, how could you not cry?"

"I didn't cry over the last wife I lost."

"Well, she wasn't the kind of wife you would cry over dying, was she?"

Her father chuckles now.

"No, she wasn't."

"She wasn't a good mother either."

"No. You had a horrible childhood." There are tears in her father's eyes again, tears he doesn't need to shed. Her childhood wasn't horrible. Her relationship to her mother certainly was, she hated her mother, but her father and grandparents did their best to make her happy and they were successful. Her father catered to her every need and loved her with all his heart. He protected her whenever possible, he faced his wife's wrath over her more times than she can count. She knows that he constantly underminded her mother's punishments, she liked to lock her up in her room and her father usually came to her room to let her out only a few minutes later. And when her mother did something like that when her father wasn't there, one of her grandparents would get her out. For every time that her mother told her that she hated her and was disappointed in her, her father told her that he loved her and that he was proud of her. He spent almost as much time teaching her whatever she wanted to know as he spent taking care of the estate. When her mother was for some reason very mad at her, he'd just take her along when he went out on the estate, sometimes for a whole day. And he never left her alone. There were two or three days a week he wasn't home, but he never left her alone, her grandparents were always there. He just didn't leave when her grandparents were travelling, or he took her to Rosamund. When her grandfather had died and her grandmother had moved into the Dower House, she went there too when her father was gone. She never begrudged her father his time away from the estate, his time away from his wife and now that she knows whom he spent that time with, she is very happy that he had the chance to do so.

"My childhood was not horrible Papa. Parts of it were happy. I had a horrible mother but a wonderful father. And I am very glad I still have you. And that my little sister has got you too. And Cora."

"Do you like her?"

"Cora? Yes. I like her very much."

"Maybe you should tell her that."

"I will." She thinks that her father is right, she should tell Cora how she feels. Cora put so much effort into helping her adjust to the new situation that she deserves to know how Mary feels.

There is a soft knock on the door and Lilly walks in, carrying Julia. She thinks that the girl has probably been held all her life and she thinks that it is a good start. This girl is loved by everyone around her.

"How are you?"

"In almost unbearable pain." Lilly is the only one she can tell this. She doesn't know Mary well enough for confessing something like that and Robert would just worry too much. Lilly sits down on her bed and takes one of her hands.

"It is bad, isn't it?" She can't hold back her tears any longer. She is glad she is alive, she is happy she will see her daughter grow up and raise her with Robert, and spent time with their children and children-in-law and possibly, hopefully, grandchildren, but right now the pain is so strong that it is almost blinding her.

"I feel as if I had been split open. I can't move, I can hardly breathe. Every breath hurts."

"Mama, I wish I could help you." She smiles at this a little, although that hurts too. She allowed Lilly to call her 'Mama' in private about two years ago when it just slipped out and the girl had been so happy then. It makes her happy too, she is glad that her son married a woman she can think of as her daughter.

"I know."

"I am so sorry for you. Is there anything I can do for you?"

"No. But it is worth it." It really is and she has to keep telling herself that it is.

"Would you like your daughter back?"

"Yes." Maybe holding her little girl will help.

Once Julia is in her arms, she looks at Lilly again.

"Will you write to Sam?"

"Yes."

"Tell him I love him"

"I will."

"But don't tell him that I almost died. It would worry him too much. Don't say much about the birth. Just say that he is the older brother of a little sister and that Robert and I are very happy. He doesn't need to know more."

"I should tell Mary not to mention anything in her letters to Matthew. Matthew and Sam are in the same regiment."

"Yes."

"Would you like to sleep?"

"Yes. But I, forget it."

"What?"

"Nothing."
"Mama"

"Would you stay? Until Robert gets back? I know I am asking too much, but there is writing paper over there and I just thought"

"Yes. I'll stay. And I will write to Sam and let you read the letter."

She falls asleep holding onto Julie for dear life because she isn't sure if she would wake up again if she didn't have Julie. The pain is too strong. When she does wake up, it is again instinctively and she is afraid for a second when she realizes that Julie isn't with her but when she looks to her side, she sees Mary sitting the chair that Robert occupied a few hours ago. Mary is reading a book, her feet resting on the other chair and she holds Julie the same way Robert did.

"Mary," she says and Mary turns to her and smiles.

"Cora," she says quite happily. "How are you?"

She can't answer this truthfully, so she decides to not answer at all.

"I think Julie will be hungry soon." Mary smiles an understanding smile, maybe it is too understanding.

"There you go then," Mary says and places the little girl in her arms. "I'll leave you to it."

"Would you get your father?"

"He is at Granny's house. I don't know when he will be back, but he left only a few minutes ago, so it might still take a while. Lilly went with him."

"Would you come back then? In 15 minutes?"

"Of course." Mary gets up and strokes her sister's cheek before she leaves the room. She wonders if she should have asked Mary to stay, but she thinks that the girl would probably have been very uncomfortable. She watches Julie for a while, but her thoughts keep drifting to Mary. She likes her, she is her father in almost every way. She has always felt sorry for Mary, ever since Robert told her about her after they had met again. Robert had always been so worried, not only about Mary's well-being, although that had always been on his thoughts, but during her teenage years, Mary almost turned into her mother and it took Robert quite a lot of effort to stop that development. But now Mary certainly is a daughter to be proud of and she knows that Robert is very proud of her.

"I brought you some broth. You have to eat if you want to keep feeding Julie yourself. The nurse said so and I think that she is right."

"Thank you Mary. Would you help me sit up?" Mary's hands are much gentler than she thought they would be but she is very glad about this because even Mary's gentle touch feels very uncomfortable.

"Would you like help with the broth?" She is surprised by this question too.

"No. I think I can eat by myself."

"Good. That'll make Papa happy. He was very worried."

"I know. I am sorry."

"He loves you very much."

"I love him very much too." Mary now takes a deep breath and she looks as if she was stealing herself to say something.

"Cora, I just wanted you to know that I am very happy for you and Papa and for Julie. Papa was, is, a wonderful father and I know that you are a wonderful mother. You two are an ideal match. And Julie is very lucky to have both of you. Please don't ever think that I begrudge her that. I love my sister and I want her to be as happy as possible."

"I would never think that you would begrudge Julie her happiness, Mary. I know you are happy for your sister."

"You put a lot of faith in me."

"It isn't undeserved. Mary, your father has told me everything about you during the last eighteen years. Sam and you were the topics of many of our conversations and I know that I have said it before, but I know you quite well because your father always painted a true picture of you. You are exactly what he described you to be. An intelligent, outspoken, lovely young woman. You try to hide your feelings sometimes, but they are there. You love with all your heart."

"I don't have a heart."

"Of course you do. You love Matthew and your father and your little sister and your granny."

"That is true."

"Then please don't say that you don't have a heart. Julie is very lucky to have you as her sister."

"Thank you. You are very kind."

"Maybe I am. But what I say is the truth."

"Cora, I," Mary shakes her head and stops to speak.

"What is it my dear girl?"

"I am glad you married Papa, but not only for Papa's and Julie's sakes, but for my sake too. I am glad that you have become part of my life because I like you quite a lot. I know it is shellfish," she has to make Mary understand that not everything she feels and does is bad.

"It isn't selfish and I am glad that you are happy. I would hate to be the evil stepmother."

Mary now breaks into loud laughter. "You could never be the evil stepmother," she says. "You are too nice and gentle for that."

"Maybe I am. I hope so."

"You are. I may not know you as well as you know me, but I do know you well enough to be sure that you could never be that."