Blacks were always punctual and Sirius was no exception. He was walking up to the restaurant door when he felt a familiar ring-clad hand grab his arm forcefully. Of course his father had beaten him there.
"So glad you could come, Sirius."
"Not planning on killing me, are you?"
Orion laughed, which made Sirius nervous, "If I was going to kill you, I would have done it a long time ago, kid. Come on, then." Orion pushed Sirius unceremoniously through the door. The hostess got them a table immediately, recognizing members of the Black family. Sirius kept waiting for the other shoe to drop, but Orion spoke of nothing but stupid Black family matters and Sirius was getting tired of it.
"So," Orion began, eyeing his son in amusement, "why'd you ruin my portrait?"
Sirius said nothing.
"We both know why you did it. I just want to hear you say it."
"I was doing you a favor," Sirius said, "It wasn't very flattering."
"I saw you staring at it. Does it really upset you so much that you look like me?"
"I'm not you."
"I didn't say you were."
"Just because you look like me…"
At this Orion let out a loud laugh. "I think you forget who came first, Sirius. I named you, I bathed you, I taught you everything you know. It's my blood that runs through your veins and it's my genes that made you what you are. There's no denying that you look just like me and that you are just like me."
"I am nothing like you," Sirius snarled.
"Aren't you? You think I'm so terrible. What happened to that business with the werewolf prank where you nearly killed a Slytherin boy? What about that?"
Sirius went white. "I didn't mean to—"
"You meant to eliminate someone who was in your way," Orion said smugly. He was looking at Sirius in a proud way that made Sirius uncomfortable, "And you used the resources around you to deduce the most efficient and clean way to eliminate that person. Very clever. Deep down, you're just like me, Sirius, and you know it."
"I am not," Sirius said, his voice shaking, "I made a mistake and I learned from it."
"That hardly matters. You think you can just go back and pretend nothing happened? They'll always view you differently now. After five years of hard work denying who you were one little incident brings you back where you belong. You think you can just—"
"You can. You can say you're sorry."
Orion just laughed. "You're so young."
"Why do you hate me so much?" Sirius couldn't stop himself from asking the question that had plagued him for years.
Orion stared at him blankly. Sirius had never seen his father look so disarmed.
"How could you think that?"
Suddenly it was Sirius himself who was left with no clue of what to say. He stuttered, "Well…well…you've always preferred Regulus to me!" Sirius hated how childish he sounded—since when did he care what Orion thought? "You hit me all the time! More than you ever hit Regulus! You're always yelling at me about how I'm such a disappointment."
"Because you are."
"I don't care!" Sirius knew his voice sounded fragile, he felt close to tears and hated himself for it. He also knew he was starting to attract attention in the restaurant, but he wanted to be able to speak to his father without being hit in the face, "I don't care what you think, and I don't care if you hate me. Because I hate you too. I hate you just as much as you hate me. Maybe more. I don't care about you at all."
"You do care. Otherwise, you wouldn't be so upset about it, and you wouldn't even have asked me about it. If you truly didn't care what I think, you wouldn't be in tears over the prospect of me hating you." Orion pointed out calmly.
"I'm not crying." Sirius said icily.
"Yet."
"Answer the question, Father."
"Do you really think I hate you?" Orion asked incredulously.
"You do."
"Do I? Yes. Yes, I do. I do hate you. I hate looking at you. When I look at you, I remember every mistake I've ever made in my life, and I constantly see you repeating them. You're impulsive, foolish, stubborn, naïve, and completely oblivious to every stupid thing you do. You don't understand anything about the world, and you resent me for trying to teach you what you desperately need to learn. And I hate you for hating me, and what I represent, when all I've ever wanted was the best for you. And I hate you for hating yourself. Because I love you. I love you so much it's going to destroy everything I've worked for my entire life. You're going to kill me, or drive me to madness, and I hate you for it because I love you more than anything in this world."
Sirius didn't know what exactly he was expecting, but it was nothing even resembling that. He felt close to tears again, and didn't even know why. He tried to remember who he was dealing with. This was Orion Black. His father was manipulative, self-obsessed and untrustworthy. Sirius tried to remember every horrible thing Orion had ever done to it (there were many), but his heart was full of emotion. Sirius told himself he was feeling exactly what Orion wanted him to feel right now. Sirius opened his mouth and closed it again, still at a loss of what to say. He wondered if he has misjudged his father all along. He shook off that thought quickly and mentally screamed at himself. Are you an idiot? You're playing right into his hands! Sirius closed his eyes and reminded himself why he hated his father. He saw himself, age six, crying because Orion had broken his arm by grabbing him too roughly, in order to spin him around and spank him. He saw himself, age ten, being dragged across the floor by his hair, and struggling against his father's grip. He saw himself, age thirteen, being locked in the cellar and screaming his head off for help, and no one coming. He saw himself, last week, being paralyzed while his father beat him within an inch of his life. The memories were jarring enough for Sirius to regard his father coldly once again.
"You've got no right to say that now."
"I'll always have a right to say it. I know you don't want to hear this, but you're still my son. And I'm still your father. No matter what happens between us, that will never change. I will always love you, though you infuriate me so, and I know you'll always love me."
"What's this all about, Father?" Sirius finally snapped, "I know you didn't invite me here because you enjoy my company."
"You have no subtlety, Sirius," Orion said with a smirk, and the strange moment between the two Blacks passed, everything was back to normal, "Of course I enjoy your company, but you're right; it isn't why I need to speak to you about something else. Come with me."
They left the restaurant. Orion took Sirius by the hand, as if he were a child, and led him down a dark alleyway. Sirius was getting more and more suspicious. He gripped his wand with his free hand.
"I'm not going to attack you, dolt," Orion said, "I just don't want us to be disturbed."
Had Orion read his mind? Sirius felt a thrill of terror and gripped his wand even more tightly. Finally, Orion halted, turned and put both his hands on his sons' shoulders.
"Your uncle Alphard is dead."
It wasn't what Sirius was expecting at all. Alphard was still a young man; only two years older than Orion. "What?" he whispered.
"You heard me. Alphard is dead and I came to request your attendance to the funeral and the will-reading. It's what Alphard would have wanted of you. I know you care about that much more than whatever I want of you." Orion finished bitterly.
"Uncle Alphard is dead." Sirius said in a whisper.
Suddenly, all Sirius could think of was uncle Alphard. Alphard has always cared for Sirius no matter what. Alphard let Sirius stay with him, hugged Sirius, intervened when he though Orion was beating Sirius too hard, read to Sirius, gave Sirius wonderful gifts. It was Alphard who had made Sirius who he was. Sirius recalled once when he was five and uncle Alphard had taken him out to lunch:
"Who are those wizards who are dressed poorly, Uncle Alphard?"
"Sirius, they're Muggle born wizards. They don't have as much money as you and I."
"They are Mudbloods? I should have known. My father can always tell a Mudblood when he sees them."
Alphard stopped, "Mudblood, eh? What does that mean?"
Sirius was ashamed to admit he didn't know, "It's what my father calls them."
"Sirius, let me ask you something. If you got a papercut, you'd bleed, wouldn't you?"
"I suppose."
"What color is your blood?"
"It's red, of course!"
Alphard pointed to the muggle born wizards, "What would happen if they got papercuts? What color would their blood be?"
Sirius shrugged.
"You know the answer."
Sirius sighed, "It'd be red, like mine."
"That's right. So there is no such thing as dirty blood, is there? What separates you from them if you both bleed the same way? Just because somebody doesn't have magic parents, that doesn't make you better than them. Just because somebody doesn't have as much money as you, that doesn't make you better than them either. We are all really the same inside. Our hearts beat the same. We bleed the same. We are one. Society keeps inventing ways for people to believe they are better than other people. But you're special, Sirius. And that muggle born boy is special, too."
"My father says we aren't the same."
"Does your father know everything? Is he always right?"
"Yes," Sirius said sadly, "he knows everything. He is so smart, and I am so stupid. I am a bad boy. I am a stupid boy. That's why he…" Sirius trails off, horrified at what he almost let slip.
"I know what he does. And you aren't a bad boy, Sirius, and you certainly aren't stupid. You're the smartest boy I've ever met! That's why I'm disappointed you let your father trick you into believing you are better than people with no magic parents."
Sirius clung to his uncle. He didn't want the only member of his family who thought he was worth something to be disappointed in him. "I'm sorry!" Sirius cried, "Don't be disappointed in me! I don't think I'm better than anyone, I don't!"
"I know you don't," Alphard smiled, "But remember this Sirius, no matter what anyone says, you are the brightest boy I know and you can make your own decisions about things. Don't ever let anyone tell you different. You are so special, Sirius. I love you so much."
Sirius realized with a horror that tears were running down his face. Orion pulled him forcefully into his arms. "There, there, Sirius," Orion said, not sounding upset at all, "I know you and Alphard had a special bond, what with being outcasts of the family and blood traitors and such…"
Something in Orion's voice made Sirius halt. His voice was cold, calculated, almost…amused. "You did this," Sirius accused, looking right into his father's soulless eyes, "didn't you?"
"Why would I have a hand in the death of my own brother?" Orion said, smiling at Sirius as if they were not discussing murder.
"The money."
"Do I need money, little idiot?" Orion snickered.
"You're sabotaging me."
Orion just looked at him. "Why would I do that?"
"I don't know. But I'm going to find out." Sirius turned away, ready to storm off until he realized he couldn't really storm off in crutches, and he didn't know when or where the funeral would be. He turned to see his father laughing openly at him.
"Why don't you come home for a little while, Sirius? Don't you think it's time you came home? After all, mourning is a time for family, and I miss having you around."
"Don't play your little mind games on me. I'm never going back…to Grimmauld Place," Sirius stopped himself just in time before he said the potent word—home. "I'm fine where I am, and after this year at Hogwarts, I have enough money to get my own flat. With James."
"Yes," said Orion evenly, "With James." He studied Sirius for a minute then said, "You mean with my money, of course."
Sirius shrugged, "You'll die eventually. What's the point of waiting for it, if I need the money now?"
He had finally gone too far. Orion grabbed Sirius by the elbow, twisted him around and slammed him against the wall of the alley. Sirius distinctly heard something crack and he couldn't help but let out a pitiful yelp. He struggled, but as usual his father had the upper hand. Orion said, in a deadly whisper, "That was an unkind thing to say. Mind your father, Sirius. As usual, you need a lesson in manners. Have you already forgotten yourself? You've only been gone for a week. The reason you have that money is because I am allowing you to have it. If I wanted it back, I'd strip you of every single penny you have. Understand? Perhaps you owe me a thank you for that. So thank me."
Sirius could barely make a sound with his face smashed against a wall, but managed a muffled, "Fuck you." Although Sirius was sure Orion didn't hear it, his father still pressed his wand into Sirius' back and tightened his grip on his son's elbow and said, "What was that?"
Sirius caved. "Thank you," he moaned brokenly.
"Good boy," Orion threw Sirius face first on the ground, "Now, let's go home. Get up."
"I'm not your dog." Sirius spat, "Don't command me like that."
"Well…actually Sirius is the dog star, you know. And you are my son, aren't you? So, in a way…"
"I'm not going! I'm not ever going back there!" Sirius managed.
There was no light in the alleyway, but Sirius still saw his father's eyes flash with anger. Orion took a step toward his son, and Sirius tried to crawl away. Orion grabbed Sirius' injured leg and pulled his son back toward him. Sirius didn't even try to contain his scream of pain. Orion took his cane and started beating Sirius' backside and legs. Sirius yelled and yelled until Orion put a silencing charm on him. When he couldn't make a noise, Sirius just closed his eyes and let tears fall down him face silently. When he was bruised and bloody, Orion lifted the spell and yanked Sirius to his feet.
"We're going home," Orion said maliciously, "unless you don't want to."
Sirius let out a weak sob and said nothing. He was tired and hurt and could barely stand up. He couldn't believe he was so stupid for coming. Orion was supporting Sirius' weight entirely, and was not enjoying it. He faltered for a second but then lifted Sirius bridal style and Sirius moaned in pain. Orion ignored him. He shot up a few sparks with his wand and two men grabbed Sirius from Orion's arms and held him.
Orion addressed the two men. "Take him home. Lock him in his room and make sure he stays there. I don't want you letting anyone in there except me. Got it?"
"Yes, sir." They replied.
Sirius felt like he was going to be sick. He heard something clatter onto the ground he supposed had fallen out of his pocket. It was a mirror. The two way mirror he shared with—
"JAMES!" Sirius screamed unexpectedly. He knew James had the other mirror. It took all his energy, but Sirius continued to scream the name of the only person who ever helped him, "JAMES! JAMES! HELP ME, JAMES! Aargh…" He fell silent when Orion landed a blow on his jaw that was hard enough to knock out teeth. He was going back. Orion would never let him leave again. Orion turned on the spot and vanished.
*CRACK*
Mr. Potter appeared out of nowhere with James. Mr. Potter stunned the two men who were holding Sirius and James ran over and grabbed him before he crashed to the ground. Feeling no shame, Sirius threw his arms around his best friend. He doubted he had ever been so happy to see anyone in his life. James stood surprisingly steady for his friend's dead weight. Sirius tried to mumble a thank you, but collapsed again and knew no more.
