Chapter 9

Jada looks over at Jordan who is lying naked in his bed sheets, asleep. He pokes her.

"Not now Perry, I'm sleeping."

"0800 hours; I believe your shirt begins in one hour."

"Oh, you," she says groggily, struggling to lift her eyes open, "what are you doing up so early?"

"I do not require sleep."

"Lucky you," she gets up and reaches for her cloths on the bed's end. She picks them up, stands and starts putting her one-piece suit on, "why'd you do that?" she asks him.

"Do what?"

"Take your pants off."

"You ordered me to."

"Really? That easy?"

"I am obligated to obey any direct order from a higher ranking officer."

"Is that so?"

"Yeah," sort of nods curiously.

"Take your pants off again."

View of Jada's white, pasty legs as he pulls his pants down quickly. She stares from between his legs, and tilts her head to a side, "Nice…"

"Can I ask what it is we are doing?"

"Making Perry jealous."

"Commander Cox?"

"Is there another Perry Cox onboard?" Jordan says sarcastically.

"I do not belie-"

"Relax Pinocchio – that was sarcasm. What are you? New out of the box?"

"That would be sarcasm, too – correct?"

"I-"

Jada interrupts, "No, I was just messing with you; Turk taught me. It was awesome," he grins.

She just stands there and looks at him.

Inner monologue, "She is not leaving. What does he want? She is not saying anything. I am not saying anything. This is becoming awkward – say something. Something normal," he then speaks aloud, "your vagina is quite esthetically pleasing," darts his eyes around, knowing what he just said. She still stands there. He thinks again and says, "Was there something else? Do you require more sex?"

"Do you have my comm badge?"

He pulls his pants up and whips out his tricorder and taps in some commands quickly, "I have tied in the tricorder to your comm. badge signal."

"Couldn't you just look for it?"

"I could, but pressing buttons is fun," he lifts his chin in pride and then says, "Ah," as the tricorder beeps. He walks over to behind a couch, "Spot has it. Spot, let go of the comm badge."

"ooohhhrrruuu…" it growls in it's bellows.

"Hum. I don't know why, but I'm sensing your cat is thinking about that blond security girl."

"Here is your badge," he says quickly, trying to detract from that discussion.

She clips her badge on and says while doing so, "Okay, I'm out of here."

"Wait, you are not going to tell Commander Cox about this, are you?"

"No. Probably not. I really don't know; however the mode strikes me," and walks toward the doors non-chalantly.

"'Cause I am not worried or anything!" he yells out as she exits his quarters. "Sweet merciful Toaster Heaven – he will have me disassembled and beat me with my appendages. I need a plan. Turk will know what to do," the doors whisk open as he rushes at them, "I just love it when the doors whisk o-"

"Hold it," the Janitor puts an arm out.

"Now what? Do you ever do any work?"

"I fix a few things here & there. Mostly I just follow you around. Track you – like an animal."

"What if I take my comm bade off," he throws it into his quarters.

"Computer, locate the mechanical life form."

Soft yellow lights on the black display panels light into an arrow and point at Jada.

"Ew – there you are," the Janitor says.

"Just tell me what it is you want so we can get this over with."

"I noticed you left your quarters."

Jada shakes his head, "So?"

"And so did the Counselor."

"Maybe I needed counseling."

"All night long?" says the Janitor.

"What will it take to keep you quite?" Jada says lowly and quickly.

"I wanna be an ensign for a day."

"What? No! You have not even taken the Kobayashi Maru test."

"You know, my great, great grandfather co-invented the Kobayashi Maru simulator."

"No he did not," says Jada.

"He could have. Why are you knocking on my grandfather?"

"I am not – how do we even get to these places?!" exclaims Jada loudly, with his arms out, palms up.

"I don't know, but I think it involved a left at Albuquerque."

"See? There you go again!"

"It's my way."

"Well, you are going to have to find another way; Starfleet regulations prohibit non officers from performing or wearing a duty uniform."

"Oh well. When the time comes, I'll let you know what I want."

"Good. Computer, lock my quarters. My authorization only."

"Acknowledged."

"Have a good Janitorial Day," Jada walks off, smirking.

The Janitor chews on a button lip, "Huh."

Elliot paces quickly as Todd tries to keep up.

"No!" she shouts.

"But it's tradition!"

"I don't care if it means averting war with you for all eternity!" she rebukes loudly as the turbolift doors whisk open in front of her.

Turk and Carla let go of each other from a kiss. He straightens up and she whips her lips.

Elliot looks before Todd does, "Huh – you two-!"

Todd raises his right hand in anticipation.

Turk blurts out, "That's right – baking cookies all night long."

"Oh," Todd puts the hand down in disappointment.

"Were they good?" she says lowly to Carla.

"They were delicious. I think we'll be having some more tonight."

With a fist, Turk exclaims, "Yes!"

"You must really love cookies," says Todd.

"Hell yeah, I LOVE chocolate chip!"

"Will you two take care of DaiMon Todd for me?"

"All right – threesome five!" Todd's right hand shoots up.

Turk high-fives him, "Only because you earned it," looks at Elliot, "you got a shift coming up?"

"Actually I already started but Todd here keeps bugging me."

Turk turns his head to a side and puts his hands on his hips like a parent scolding a kid, "Is that true Mr. Todd?"

"She won't do the traditional Ferengi hand shake."

"Why not, Elliot?" asks Carla.

Elliot folders her arms, "It's the special female customary hand greeting."

"How's it go?" asks Turk.

"On Ferenginar it's customary to juggle the rack of new female acquaintances."

"Well, here in the Federation it's customary to put your ass in the Brig for that. Sorry captain, you can look but not touch."

"What kind of backward culture is this?" says Todd.

"We'll be glad to take Todd here around," says Turk.

"Thank you!" Elliot says then shoves Todd into the turbolift.

"Lower…" he says.

The door shuts.

"Frick – small hands…"

Furious fencing takes place in a medium-sized grey room with yellow rectangles in the middle of the floor like a sidewalk.

"Make me work a double shift, will ya?!" Laverne thrust forward with her foil.

She lets he guard down and Kelso leaps in, pressing the foil's blade into her chest; it beeps.

She takes her mask off, "I don't like this sport. I'm too fat & old for sports. What kind of victory is it when you beat a 300 year-old black woman anyway?" putting her hands on her hips.

Kelso removes his mask, "I could have sworn you liked it last week when you got me twice. And isn't it 600 plus years?"

"It's 300 in el-Aurian years," she rebukes.

"And on the moon I weight trice as less. Now," he sits on a bench they had been walking to and wipes his face with a cloth, "let me point out where you sucked today. We'll start with your foil dipping."

"Tell me about my dipping foil again and I'll fence your biscuits right off."

"Understood," he says, "wanna go again?"

"Give me a minute, will ya? I weight nearly my age."

"My legs are tired anyway," Kelso adds.

As Laverne wipes her face as well, she says, "I hear we have a Ferengi as a guest. Is that wise?"

"Probably not, but since I'm in charge now, I can blame everyone below me."

"You know, I don't understand this. I assume you've read all the rumors about how they treat women."

"Everyone's so uppity about war these days that I just had to play nice. I got some of the key personnel taking care of him; I can't talk to Big Ears anyway."

"Sure you can. Have you ever tried telling him what he wants to hear? 'Cause I got a feeling you babbled to hear your own voice."

"Why don't you just go ahead and install a replicator internally and eliminate the middle man."

"See? Just call a little meeting with him in your office and find out your common interest. You may find you got more in common that you thought."

Kelso puts the mask guard back on and comments while coming to a stand, "Hum."

Jada backs away from Elliot's quarters, "Computer, is Lt. Elliot Reid in her quarters?"

"No."

Jada starts down the corridor to the turbolift, "computer, current location of Lt. Elliot Reid."

"Turbolift three; destination, deck six, section 14."

Internal monologue, "She is coming! Check posture … posture erect. Smiling? Smiling. Check the quaff!" he stops and looks into a black display panel to smooth back his hair.

WHACK! The Janitor bongs Jada on the back on the head with the phasespanner.

"Why?!" he smoothes back the frazzled hair, "is this what you wanted?"

"No, I needed that."

"Well, could you stop hunting me while I do my job?"

"Not hunting you. Some kid painted the walls down the corridor," shaking his head pissed. Stop shaking it and looks at Jada directly, "Was it you?"

"No, go away. Or I will instruct them that it is a class project to pain an entire deck."

"Touché," turns and stops briefly, "you got a panel open on you head."

Jada looks up and the Janitor flicks his nose.

"No really, you got a panel open," and heads to the corridor.

The turbolift doors whisk open and Jada quickly shuts the panel on his forehead.

"There you are – I've been looking all over the ship for you," says Elliot.

"Why did you not ask the computer?"

"I have this theory: every time I ask the computer for help, it tells my dad."

"Yeah … skipping passed that … have you seen DaiMon Todd?"

"Why didn't you ask the computer, Mister Smarty Pants."

"I did; the Todd did not put his issued comm badge on."

"Darnit. He was with me earlier. I left him with Turk & Carla. Oh – did you know they're a couple now?"

"I received a Sex Gong communication last night."

"Oh. What's up?" asks Elliot.

"I think I know a way to make peace with the Todd."

"Really? What?"