chapter seven: beloved names


A/N: Stopped using Japanese honorifics, they sounded just a bit strange in English. Replaced with the equivalent Mr, Miss, or nothing at all. Bit of a shame, cos the original work depends quite a bit on them due to well, being set in Japan, and being written/spoken in Japanese. I still feel really weird referring to them as their surnames only, cos that's how everyone calls them in canon unless they're really close. I suppose I'll stick to the formula of people not calling others by their personal name unless they're close, and keep the nicknames used (e.g Dai-chan), but the honorifics won't be used constantly in conversation and so on.

A note about romance – of either homo or hetero variety: No it won't feature here. This story will remain pretty platonic and friendship orientated – just because I don't think it'll work out in this kind of story. That said – when I read through this entire thing I noticed that it was incredibly easy to see romance with shipping goggles on – which I blame entirely on the source material (I mean seriously KnB is second to Free! on how borderline shippy it can get). So I guess what I'm saying is, to each their own? If you wanna read this as non-romantic, or romantic, do whatever?

Also, THE MOST IMPORTANT AUTHOR'S NOTE: I don't know if you noticed, and I probably should've mentioned this way earlier, but there IS a timeskip between chapter two and three. It's not too long, maybe a few weeks or so. This whole thing does NOT take less than three days.


"At the temple there is a poem called "Loss" carved into the stone. It has three words, but the poet has scratched them out. You cannot read loss, only feel it."

― Arthur Golden, Memoirs of a Geisha


"Um…uh…thanks I guess…for before."

Furihata shifted awkwardly in the dim light of the quiet 24hour diner. The hard plastic chair was uncomfortable, his tailbone already numb. He couldn't will himself to move elsewhere though, trapped like a bug underneath the scarlet gaze of the boy before him.

The red-haired boy smiled, or at least, the ends of his lips moved upward. His single eye stared coldly as always, no evidence of mirth or friendly ever present within those depths. He sat like a king on the chair opposite Furihata, somehow making it seem as decadent and opulent as would a throne. His silent companion stood beside him, his posture alert and almost militant. The taller boy's dark eyes stared unblinkingly out the window, and Furihata wondered if he had moved a single inch since arriving here. Thinking back, he was suspecting he hadn't.

"I suppose it would be prudent to introduce myself. You may call me Akashi." He didn't provide a name for his companion, nor did the other boy offer it.

Furihata opened his mouth hesitantly. "I'm Fu-"

"Furihata Kouki, was it?"

The boy blinked. How had he…

Akashi smiled insincerely again. "I'm afraid we're pressed for time, so I will be frank. That thing you just encountered was not a singularity. There are many more out in the world; a large number exists in this town alone." The blood red eye blinked, and Furihata shook himself, suddenly freed from its piercing gaze. "Through various circumstances, they are now very aware of you, and I assure you, your encounters with them are not likely to go as swimmingly as your first."

Furihata stared blankly at him. His hand was awkwardly outstretched towards his own soda, forgotten, and he blushed as he retracted it. Staring down at his lap, he pursued his lips. He had not understood a word the other boy had said.

Akashi continued on. "At this very moment, you are either a liability or asset to me, Mr Furihata. As such, you have two options," Akashi sipped at his water, as delicately as one would wine. "Join me and my associates, where you can learn more about these occurrences, and understand and better your abilities. You would be safe from these beings, and may even come to the position where you can defend yourself from them, even destroy them."

Furihata felt his eye twitch. He still had no idea what was going on. "And…the other option?"

Akashi's one scarlet eye flickered to stare unblinkingly at the nervous boy before him, who flinched. "I leave you to die at the hands of the other beings. Most of the local ones would have sensed you by now, and the only reason they haven't swarmed you by now is well…" He leaned back on the uncomfortable plastic chair, somehow making it look like an art. "Me."

Furihata felt his mouth dry up. His hands beginning to shake on his lap, he tightly gripped his pants to keep them still. "Would they…woul- would they really kill me?" His mind kept flicking back to the spider-woman's last moments, and the terrified look in her one amber eye. "That one from before, the-the woman. She was scary yeah, but-but in the end she never hurt me. And at the end….she…she looked like a scared child."

A sudden peal of laughter rang before him, and Furihata whipped his gaze onto the redhead, astonished, and maybe even a little bit terrified. The other boy had turned to the side, one hand covering his mouth in a non-sincere effort to muffle derisive chuckles. A scarlet eye regarded him in amusement, half-lidded but piercing all the same. He felt a bug beneath his gaze, and underneath that wary fear, he felt anger.

Maybe Akashi sensed it, for he dropped his hand to lean on the table with his elbows, his fingers laced underneath his chin. "My apologies. I suppose that was unfair, considering your lack of knowledge on the nature of these beings."

Furihata crossed his arms defensively. "Will you explain, then?"

Akashi's smile dropped. "I suppose I should, if only so that you don't get killed for stupidity." Furihata twitched, his verbal retort held down by nothing but self-preservation. He had the feeling the boy could crush him as easily as he did the spider-woman. "However we have limited time, and you have many questions. I will answer only three," He glanced at the other boy, his red eye intense. "Then you must make your choice."

Furihata swallowed, before nodding jerkily. "Then…then my first question is…what-who was that woman? Why was she chasing me?"

"Those are two questions, Mr Furihata. You only have one left."

"I don't mind. Answer them please."

Akashi closed his eyes in acquiescence. "Very well." He opened them again slowly, his eyes on Furihata's tie, but his gaze far off to the distance. "The simplest answer would be that she was a remnant of a past life, what modern society would call a ghost I suppose. The second answer is a bit more complex, and requires a more detailed explanation of the first." He glanced down at his watch. "A bit pressing for time, but I'll allow it."

Furihata glanced at the red-head's companion. The taller boy was still staring intently out the window, looking reminiscent of an alert guard dog with cocked ears. Furihata felt his heart begin to thud loudly and more quickly. What was he searching for in the dark? What was he waiting for?

He felt hunted.

If Akashi noticed his inner panic, he ignored it. "I suppose the first thing I should tell you is that despite the alarming similarity, these beings are not 'ghosts', in the traditional sense. In a way they can be considered marks left by a person's life, abandoned upon the individual's death. The best metaphor I could use for them are sentient photographs. Snapshots of a past time, proof of a person's memory and existence."

"So they're…living memories?"

"You could say that, though the status of 'living' could be debated. Memories are tricky things, Mr Furihata. These beings possess nothing but these memories of the individual from which it came – so they believe that they themselves are that individual. However memories are something that no-one can share. Yes, people can share experiences, however each of them will remember that experience differently."

Akashi glanced sideways outside the window. "And as such, they can never be seen, heard or felt by anyone else. Not by humans, animals, or even other living memories. They are singular entities who exist in a world that will not acknowledge them." His eyes flicked back to Furihata, a humourless smile on his lips. "Do you feel pity, Mr Furihata? Empathy at their utter isolation and the devastating loneliness they must feel?"

The spider-woman's terror filled eyes gazed longingly at him beneath Furihata's eyelids. Blinking it away, he tried to glare at the other boy. "Is that wrong?"

Akashi shrugged unapologetically. "I'm not here to tell you what is right or wrong, Mr Furihata. That is entirely up to you. However, I should mention that these beings do not have true consciousness. Over time they themselves forget who or what they were, and simply run on nothing but the oldest, longest lasting form of memory – emotion. They lose all sense of logic, self-preservation, or rationality." He turned to stare out the window again, to the grey clouds threatening rain in the black blanket of the sky. "And what is emotion without logical action?"

Furihata stared at him. "…What?"

Akashi's companion, still nameless after all this time, coughed. The redhead sighed and turned to the brunette, his eyes half-lidded in what could possibly pass as a glare. "Once upon a time there was a sentient sword."

"Huh?"

He ignored him. "Once upon a time there was a sentient sword, and her heart was full of love."

Furihata kept his mouth closed this time, and tiredly nodded at him to go on.

"She was very kind heart, and loved everyone and everything. But what can a sword do to express her love? She had no arms to embrace, no lips to kiss, no voice to say 'I love you'. She had nothing, nothing but a sharp blade and a hilt to wield death. So…what do you think the sword did?"

"…I don't know."

A strange smile graced the redhead's lips. Furihata thought it looked just a bit bitter. "She cut. She slashed. She made them bleed, because it was the closest she could get to those she loved, underneath their skin, through blood and bone to their very core. Because that's all what a sword can do, and all a sword who has no notion of mortality can understand. She cut, slashed, and killed, all without knowing she was hurting them, without knowing her touches and kisses were lethal and deadly."

His mouth felt dry, and Furihata reached for his drink. "…What are you trying to tell me?"

"That 'living memory' from before, why do you think she chased you?"

"I don't…no…she kept on muttering the same thing over and over again, about how…about how I could see her."

"Indeed. As a being unable to be seen, heard or sensed by others in anyway, hers must have been a lonely existence. Watching the world go by as a non-participant, nothing but an outsider, she must have been desperate for someone to acknowledge her existence. Humans are not well adapted for a solitary life, you see."

"...So she chased me…because she…she wanted a friend?"

Akashi ignored him. "When you saw her, she must have been ecstatic. For the first time in her existence someone had looked at her, seen her, acknowledged that she was there. She must have been happy beyond words, and above all, desperate to keep you. She felt she needed you. To her, you were the key to the victory she could yell to the world: I am here. I am here, I am real and I exist."

The woman's last moments, her scared gaze locked onto his own, began to replay again and again in his mind's eye. Furihata looked to the side, a hand reaching to grip at his bandaged head as a pained frown darkened his visage. "If that's all she wanted, then why…why did you…kill her?"

"Were you not listening to my story?" Akashi smiled humourlessly. "I stated before that they were not beings of rationality or logic, only emotion. With nothing but the drive to love and possess, she would have done the only thing she could think to do." His gaze turned cold, and Furihata flinched away. "She would have devoured you. Swallowed you whole and made you hers – leaving nothing but an empty husk." He smiled coldly. "A body without a conscious."

Cold sweat began to drip down his forehead, and Furihata surreptitiously wiped it with his forearm. "But this had never happened before – why is this happening now? And who are you?"

Akashi's companion suddenly shifted, his right foot coming forward and his arms tensing as if readying for a fight. The red head himself glanced briefly at him, before calmly rising to his feet. The insincere smile back on his face, he gazed down at Furihata. "Those were two questions, unfortunately I only agreed to answer one more. Though, I suppose it doesn't really matter anymore, as we have run out of time. I'm afraid I must ask you to choose, Mr Furihata." His scarlet eye gleamed menacingly as it stared unblinkingly at him. "Will you join us or not?"

Furihata felt himself begin to hyperventilate again. "Wait, wait! What's happening? Why are you- what are you all preparing for? What's going to happen?!"

Akashi watched him detachedly. "Choose quickly, Mr. Furihata. Time is running out."

"I…I…" The brunette glanced at Akashi's companion. He was slowly clenching and unclenching his fists, his arms rising to protect his upper body and face. "I…" Akashi himself was still. Motionless, like a photograph, he simply stared unnervingly at him.

"I'll…I'll join you!"

Something black streaked across the room to collide with a loud, resounding crash with the companion's intercepting fist. Furihata yelped, shutting his eyes instinctively, his hands reaching up to cover his ears. The back of his eyelids suddenly flared red, as if a bright light had suddenly turned on.

Silence ensued. Time seemed to tick slowly in the muted air. Opening his eyes to a squint against the blazing golden brightness, Furihata felt his breath catch.

A large mass of bodies of varying states of decay stared unblinkingly at him, their gazes piercing though their eyes were blank. Pale, lifeless hands reached helplessly towards him, covered in inky shadows drifting slowly over their skin like waltzing tattoos. The closest hand fluttered a foot away from his face, seemingly unable to come closer.

He was illuminated in gold. He sat within a sphere of light hanging on golden dust, a coalition of millions of lantern candles. And in the centre of it all stood Akashi, his stance tall and unafraid with one foot on the table, the other on his seat, that fake smile ever present on his lips. His eyepatch had been ripped away, revealing an empty eye socket dripping inky black blood.

He blinked.

Time and sound returned with a vengeance, and the anguished high pitched screams of the 'ghosts' pierced the air. Furihata winced, and stared in mute horror as they were repelled away from him, eaten away by the golden light as if it was acid.

"Like bees to honey. I'm amazed they managed to resist that long." Akashi smirked with something akin to sadism, the first hint of something true in his expression. This was the happiest Furihata had ever seen him; the golden light seemingly charging him with joy. Furihata personally thought it was rather the screams of the dying and disappearing 'ghosts' that did so.

The red-headed boy turned to look down at the still seated Furihata, unaware or more probably, uncaring of his naked left eye-socket. Furihata tried to stare back, but found himself unable to gaze upon that empty gouged out hole, dripping black blood like endless tears.

"Well then," Akashi leaned down, one foot on the table between them. He offered a hand to the other boy, an unrepentant grin beginning to form on his lips.

"Welcome to the club, Furihata Kouki."


The kettle whistled shrilly in the kitchen, piercing the silence of the living room. Kuroko found his head too heavy to lift, to see Kagami's expression. His gaze remained on the other boy's hands wrapped firmly around the mug of now cool tea. They looked pale in the bluish tone of the living room light, and Kuroko wondered if they were cold.

He wanted to stop. He wanted to stop talking, stop the traitorous words leaving his throat, he wanted Kagami to stop listening, he wanted, he wanted…

"Kuroko?" Kagami's tone was undecipherable, and the urge to look up to see his face grew. But…

His hold on his own cup of tea faltered, and Kuroko slowly let it down on the coffee table, the miniscule clink of ceramic on glass loud in the surrounding silence.

"Are you surprised?" His voice trembled, but Kuroko could not find it within himself to feel embarrassment. "Are you...disappointed? That all this time…my only motivations have been fear? No…you wouldn't consider it true fear would you…you'd call it…"

Cowardice.

He saw the other boy's finger twitch, and Kuroko could not see it as anything other as a recoil.

Disgust. Disgust. Disgust. He feels disgust. You're disgusting disgusting disgusting-

Kagami suddenly felt too far away. Again he felt that overwhelming panic and terror begin to swell, that threat of complete isolation returning once again. The inky blackness stretched its tendrils from the edges of his vision, like predators catching the scent of prey.

I gave you want you wanted, didn't I? I told you the truth. Don't reject me, don't leave me, don't leave me to the emptiness again no not again no-

The lights flickered, the table began to shiver on its legs, as if trembling in fear. Kuroko heard a yelp as their mugs began floating slowly to the ceiling, but it was muted, dull, as if his ears were clogged with water.

As if he was drowning.

Something squirmed in his hand, and Kuroko realised he had grabbed onto Kagami's forearm, having half-phased into the table to reach forward. He stared numbly at it, unable to understand how it had gotten there. His fingers dug sharply into the other boy's skin, above the straining muscle and bone, and Kuroko realised he was holding on too tightly, too painfully.

"…Ku..kuroko? Kuroko what are you…Kuroko?"

Stop it, you're hurting him. Let go. Stop. You're hurting him LET GO.

"Kuroko Tetsuya! Hey! Tetsuya!"

He froze. The black lake loomed in his mind's eye, where a circular ripple began to form. Stronger and stronger it grew, and large waves pushed and teased at the shore, like sea-tides.

'Ready or not here I come! Hahaha you'll never beat me at hide and seek Tetsuya!'

'Look, look Tetsuya! Come to the sandpit, I made an awesome sandcastle for you! You can be its King!'

'Hey…Tetsuya, why can no one else see you?'

'Tetsuya…what are you doing? Tetsuya?'

'Tetsu-why-'

yOu alWAYs hUrt THeM iN thE eND

He looked up, finally seeing Kagami's eyes. They were wide, the brown pupils dilated with fear and panic.

"Tetsu…ya?" His voice was hoarse, as if screaming. Maybe he had been, Kuroko did not know.

Let go, Tetsuya.

He let go.

Kagami immediately cradled his freed arm, pulling it closer towards himself in some instinctive way to protect it. Protect it from him.

Kuroko stared blankly at him. Words from a different voice, a different time talked over each other like a chattering crowd, and over it all he heard his name heard again and again. Happily exclaimed, cheerfully mentioned, quietly whispered, and-

"Tetsuya? Tetsuya! Please…please don't…no!"

Screamed in terror.

Carefully, quietly he floated backward to the other side of the living room, putting maximum distance between them. Kagami looked up, a myriad of emotions on his face, but confusion the most evident.

"Kuroko what-"

The ghost interrupted him. "I…I went on with my life...or should I say existence, ignoring that memory. I pretended it was nothing more than a bad dream. That it wasn't real. I thought…I thought if I ignored it, it wouldn't matter, it wouldn't mean anything. I mean…I'm already dead, right?" He clasped his fingers together, willing them to stop shaking. "A part of me was glad. I could shed that bad skin and start anew. Become a new person, a new existence – someone who couldn't hurt others. All I had to do was forget and leave that past alone. But then…but then, you wanted to know. And I-"

Kagami had gotten up onto his feet, taking a tentative step forward, his uninjured arm reaching out shyly. Kuroko shook his head, floating backwards and into the wall. "I didn't want to look back and see the monster I used to be. Most of all I didn't want you to see it. I didn't want you to…to leave me. I didn't want to be alone again. Alone in that park, unheard, unseen, something less than air in that open prison, slowly succumbing to despair and loneliness."

Kagami stilled, the memory of the red-marker incident suddenly replaying in his mind. It…made sense. Kuroko had never made secret of how unwilling he had been to leave Kagami, but the red-head had never really taken it seriously. Kuroko's usual emotionless expression had made every incident of clinginess seem like nothing more than a deadpan joke.

"I…I wouldn't leave you. Why would I? We still haven't done any of those things you wanted to do. We still have so many of those memories you wanted to make. We're friends right? We're going make all those memories together, just like you wanted."

Kuroko looked up from his intent staring contest with the ground to gaze at the other boy. His eyes looked sad, but Kagami saw something else in those depths, something that could have been resolution.

"I wanted so dearly to leave my past, Kagami. But it would not leave me. I still feel it." He reached up to cover his eyes with his hands, his blue pupils still staring between the crisscross pattern of his open fingers. "I may have lost my memories…but I lost nothing else. Inside me…blackness crowds my vision like inky madness, and the feeling of causing death lingers on my skin." His voice lowered to a shaky whisper. "It feels more real than anything else, the sensation sharp on my flesh whilst the rest of the world revolves like a blur."

Kagami's dry mouth swallowed as Kuroko slowly lowered his hands. "This is what I've come to realise today. This is who I am."

And what I am is horrific.

The red head shook his head. "Kuroko…I don't understand. Just…stop backing away. Come here, sit on the couch, or…something. Stop…you look like you're going to leave."

Kuroko cocked his head to the side, a sad smile on his lips. "I don't know how I managed to let you go the first time. That moment in the subway…was supposed to be the last. It should have been. But then you said all those cool words, and I was so happy. You even gave me my own room in your house. For the first time I had a friend, a home, for the first time it seemed the world acknowledged my existence. And I couldn't let go of all of that."

The ghost suddenly floated forward, the tips of his downturned feet just barely touching the wooden floor behind him. His gaze never left the other boy's, and Kagami found himself unable to move as Kuroko stopped to float directly in front of him.

"..Kuroko?"

Kuroko raised his arms, and Kagami blinked as he found himself enveloped in a hug. The body pressed against him was cold, seemingly numbing his heart. The hold seemed incredibly gentle, as if handling fine china instead of a large teenage boy…as if afraid to hurt him again. His eyes seemed to burn, and Kagami blinked again in wonder as tears began to drip down his face. He was crying, why was he crying? What was making him so sad?

Kuroko's grip loosened, and he felt cold hands between his neck and shoulders. "You said it yourself right? We're friends, and friends look out for each other. Friends help and protect each other." The ghost finally leaned back to look back into Kagami's eyes, his eyes unreadable. A helpless smile made its way back onto his lips.

"Even from themselves."

There was no fanfare, no dramatic smoke or wind.

He was simply gone.

Kagami quietly reached up to touch the base of his throat, but he already knew what he would find.

The flounder charm was no longer there.


Come back, come back.

Before the mirror shatters

And the Beast dies.


A/N: That story Akashi told to Furihata? Was kinda based on the story of Saika from Durarara. Pretty cool series of light novels and anime – you should check it out.

Also the poem is finished. Kudos to those who can guess the meaning of it. Even more kudos to those who can guess why Furihata is getting mixed up in all this mess.