This is it! My biggest chapter yet! Close to ten pages and 7,636 words excluding author's note! Yeah! I'm so happy!
Edward flopped onto the bed shortly after entering their hotel room. Al shook his head, closing the door behind Edward. Edward groaned into his pillow, his frustration taking over.
"Two weeks of looking and nothing! We usually always have something by now!" he complained.
Al sighed. "Come on brother, we'll find something. We just need to look harder is all," Al's ever optimistic self promised. Edward grumbled under his breath, sounding dangerously close to cursing. "Brother," Al warned. He never did like Edward's foul mouth.
"Okay, Al," Edward sighed, bringing his head up to rest on his arms. He really did hate his brother's attitude sometimes. Well… maybe not hated. It was more like envied. He was always so jealous of no matter how dark the world around them was, Alphonse always managed to see it clear as day. Edward wasn't an optimist, it went against his very nature. There was no way he could refute something that stood so blatantly clear in front of him, but sometimes he wished he could have Alphonse's childish ignorance back.
He heard Al rustle in the bed next to his, the springs squeaking with a sudden removal of weight. Edward looked up to see that Al had stood, and saw him making his way to the door. Al turned around then. "I'm going to go see if I can find anything in the town."
"Alright Al, just don't stay out late," Edward said, putting his head back down and closing his eyes again. He heard the door softly click shut and the distancing of clanking metal. Edward buried his head further into his arms, blocking out almost all sunlight. He began to run all the information through his. He replayed every conversation they had had the past couple of weeks. Nothing. It was infuriating to Edward to say the least.
Edward flipped over, choosing to lie on his side for now. He tried to make his mind stop thinking, but it was a futile attempt. His body was sore from all the cramped positions he had been sleeping in while on the trains, and was tired from all the walking they had to do to reach the citied that had so far yielded no profit to them.
He flipped to his other side in an effort to find a comfortable position for him to sleep in. It was of no use. His mind wouldn't settle. His irritation from the last month had built to an overwhelming amount, and he was paying for it now. After a few more minutes of trying to fall asleep, Edward sat up. He pulled out his braid, now that it had gotten loose and tangled from all of his fidgeting. He quickly redid it before sweeping his legs over to fall over the side of the bed. He looked around the room, looking for something that he might be able to occupy himself with until he felt like sleeping. He found nothing.
He flopped backwards, the sheets lifting up somewhat with the suddenness of Edward's back slamming into them. He stared at the ceiling, wracking his brain for possibilities. Only one thing came to mind. He sighed, pushing himself up as he did so. This was what his already aching sore body really needed, but he could have it no other way. Nothing else would allow him to sort out his thought to a satisfactory level. So, it was as a creature of habit that he decided to take a walk.
Edward shut the door softly behind him. He walked down the stairs at a languid pace. He let his hand ghost over the railing as the stairs below his feet squeaked with every step he took. When he reached the bottom of the staircase, he headed for the door. Opening it softly, he quickly slinked outside.
When he stepped out, the cold air blew against his face. He let the aroma of pine and usual mountain air assault his senses before beginning to walk forward again. As he walked he tilted his head up, examining the sky above him. The sky was littered with multiple hues of orange, red and pink, a dark blue lying above it all. The sun was setting now, and in its place on the opposite side of the sky, the moon began to be more pronounced. Ed smiled at it. Nights like these reminded him so much of Resembool.
He trudged forward, heading towards the forest he and Al had passed on their way here. He stepped through the branches, some of them snagging his coat every once and awhile. Twigs snapped under his feet, the only sound in the forest besides the soft rustling from the leaves that swayed above him. After taking in as much of his surroundings as he could, he left his mind drift far from the present.
They still had no leads on the Philosopher's Stone. They had traveled as North as they dared to go for now, hitting every town that got a large deal of travelers. They stayed at small inns. They made sure to always be there at lunch, dinner and breakfast if they could manage it in hopes of weaseling information out of an unexpected passerby. When they weren't in one of the inns, they hit the small shops and restaurants that normal sightseers wouldn't normally go to. Everyday at every town they had done this and nothing. Usually at least something pops up, even if it's downright preposterous.
Ed balled his fists at his sides in frustration. They were getting no were! Every time he thought of that he mourned for the time they had lost while Ed 'lay' in a hospital bed. What if we had missed someone while I was out of it? What if someone had a lead and we missed it because I couldn't suck it up? Ed went further and further into his what ifs finally giving up with a vehement DAMNIT, leaving the subject to rest for now.
He sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose as he felt a headache begin. What was worse was that Ed was still unable to inform alchemy. If word got out about that, it was all too likely that Ed would be stripped of his title as a State Alchemist. Then where would they be? How could they get anything done? True, they could continue their journey in almost exactly the same way they were doing now. In fact, they would probably have more time to look since Ed wouldn't be dragged back to Easter Headquarters by the colonel to do another mission. But the loss of all those books, the loss of all the privileges and perks that came with being a State Alchemist that helped their search go as smoothly as it had been… There was no way Ed could loose that…
They only problem was, were that he had no idea to fix that. He thought back to Roy's explanation of the potential reason. 'You Ed, however, get rid of the visible circle, rerouting the power used in a transmutation inside your own body. Some people suspect that if you obstruct that flow of power, you are unable to use alchemy anymore, with or without a circle.' It made sense once Ed really thought about it. Make a mistake in the circle drawn to transmute something, and the transmutation won't work. Since Ed didn't use visible circles, whatever was messing with his alchemy was more than likely psychological. Well, it almost made sense.
If that was the only case, then as soon as Ed used a circle everything should be fine, and he should be able to perform alchemy without a hitch. But that wasn't happening. Ed had tried on multiple occasions to try and transmute something with and without a circle, doing the most simple of transmutations, but to no avail. He didn't understand what he was doing wrong. There was no way you could just stop being able to use alchemy. Alchemy was something you obtain by learning about it, it wasn't like it was some magical gift that would come and go as it pleased. But why, then, was Ed unable to do it.
Ed slowed in his walking, tilting his head back up to face the sky, seeing a sliver of silver as he did so. Ed looked back down, pulling out his pocket watch as he did so. He flipped it open, checking the time. 9:32. He had already been walking for an hour or so. Ed snapped the watch shut, shoving it into his pockets before looking up again. He only caught glimpses of the sky, the overhead of branches being so think that he could barely see beyond them. That's when he noticed a green light.
It sped by his eye, it racing ahead of him. Ed followed it with his eyes, seeing where the thing was going. As he walked forward, he began to see more of them. It was then that he recognized what they were. Fireflies… Must be a lake or something around here, he commented to himself. He continued forward, noticing an absence of trees further ahead as he did so. He couldn't help the small gasp that escaped his lips then.
Edward stood in the clearing, looking around himself. The moon was high in the sky now, the area around it illuminated by a pale white light. Edward looked up at the sky, stars and fireflies mixing in his vision. They floated around him, their greenish light flickering on and off. He smiled as he remembered how he, Al, and Winry used to go and hunt them. Almost every night, they would go out, jars and hand, and catch their makeshift nightlights. He took another look around. These were beautiful, but they were nothing compared to the swarms that littered Resembool.
He brought his hands up, them hovering slightly away from his sides. That's when his elation got too far ahead of himself. In a split second he was imagining Envy standing in the clearing as well. His sharp, androgynous features being softly illuminated by the green light. Edward smiled at the picture, it staying there until he realized what he was picturing. His smile fell in a split-second, his hands along with it. His shoulders slumped, and his hands clenched. He went down, sitting on his haunches. He put his face in his hands as he let out a load groan.
It wasn't that he minded the picture. On the contrary, he quite enjoyed it. It was the voice in his head that reminded him that that was all it could be. Nothing but a picture. He let out another groan. "Damnit Envy," he whispered. He separated his fingers, allowing him to peak through without pulling them away from his face. As he looked through the space, the picture came back, except this time more pronounced.
He stood right in front of the trees that surrounded the clearing. His hair swayed softly as the wind blew by. He turned around, fluid and gracefully, His hair now flowing over his shoulders as he bent down and smiled… Wait, smiled… Envy didn't smile… Well, at least not like that… Edward kept the picture there for a few more moments before sighing. "Hey, I can dream right," he said softly. He let his arms rest on his knees as he laid his head down on them as well. Since it's all I can do…
He stayed like that, unmoving. His mind was so encased in his own thoughts that he failed to hear the noises that his alert self would've noted by now. He kept his head down as twigs snapped behind him, the sound getting gradually closer.
"And what does the great Edo dream about?"
Edward blinked. He brought his head up, looking straight ahead. He blinked a couple of more times before his eyes shut permanently his head flopping forward. He groaned, the third time that night. "Great, now I'm hearing his voice."
"Well, that would be-" Envy's voice retorted as it sniggered. While the voice began to speak, Edward thought his mind was cruel to play such a vivid hallucination or what ever this was. It wasn't until he felt cold fingers go across one side of his cheek, the others going to one of his hands as he felt a body press against his. "-Because I'm talking, Edo-kun," it said, now right against his ear.
Edward froze as his mind went blank. It wasn't until his senses kicked in that he realized what was happening. Edward dropped out of his position, whirling around as he did so. The figure went back, landing neatly a couple of feet away from him. Edward blinked as the figure came into focus. His eyes went wide at what he saw. It couldn't be… "Envy?" he asked, his voice quiet from shock.
He watched as a smirk grew across the Sin's face. He bent down, hands on his hips as he stared at Edward. "That's twice you've said my name, Edo."
Envy followed quietly behind as Edward ventured about. Why he was taking a walk at this time of day was beyond Envy. He watched as Edward walked towards the woods that surrounded the whole town. Watched the way the wind blew his hair ever so softly around his face, the way he kicked the dirt as he walked, creating small dust clouds, the way that ever so often, he would tilt his head back, examining the sky above him, and watched as his lips would start to curl upwards in a small smile. Envy didn't know why Edward was taking a walk, but he started to wish that this would be a more common occurrence.
So, it was with absolute mirth that he followed the blond alchemist. After awhile, though, he did start to wounder when the boy would stop. When they had left, the sun had been setting, but now the sun was nowhere to be seen. Only the moon occupied the sky. Well, the moon and the thousands of stars that always accompanied it.
Envy was so busy examining the sky that he didn't notice that Edward had stopped, and therefore almost blew his cover. He looked forward just in time to see a clearing and the unmoving form of Edward. Envy raced to a halt, almost falling over on the branch he perched himself on. His eyes snapped shut and he cursed himself for his stupidity as the loud noise of branches swaying and branches snapping filled the quiet area. He reluctantly opened his eyes, them falling on Edward. He was still standing, oblivious to the ruckus that surrounded him.
Envy gave a thankful sigh as he let his body loosen from the tense position. He looked back to see what the alchemist was doing. What he saw made his breath catch. Edward, standing in the clearing, had his head tilted slightly back and to the side. His hands hovered by his sides, his palms spread wide as they faced the sky. His skin was given a slight glow as the fireflies moved around him. His head bent back even further, his hair falling from his face one golden strand at a time. Envy's heart skipped a beat as the smile that graced Edward's features came visible to him. Envy stared in fascination.
Then it disappeared.
In a flash, Edward's smile was gone, his form taking on a defeated look. Envy released the breath he hadn't realized he had been holding. He frowned at the loss of the sight, but also thanked it. He had to physically hold himself back from taking the boy right then and there. He released the branch he had had a death grip on. He dropped his head, cursing at himself for the earlier thought. What would be the point? It's not like Edo would consent.
He looked up though his hair, though, as Edward issued a rather loud groan. He saw now that Edward had taken a position on the floor, almost curled up in a ball as his hands went to his face and his face to his knees. Envy watched, curiosity increasing as Edward let out another groan. Is he alright? It was then that Edward said his name. Envy stared, wide eyed at the boy, as any earlier resolve he had shattered.
He watched, completely mesmerized as Edward looked up, though not removing his hands. He watched as his eyes slightly glazed over as Edward stared out in front of himself. Edward sighed, issuing only one statement.
"Hey, I can dream right."
Any attempt to build up his resolve again, broke. Adrenalin pumping through him, Envy slowly slid down to the earth. Soft snapping sounds announced his descent. Envy straightened, smiling at the fact that Edward remained unawares. He came closer, his emotions overriding every warning sign that he should be going the other way, totally destroying his instincts. He was now only a foot or so behind Edward and still he hadn't noticed. He stopped there, judging that that would be enough distance away so that if Edward tried anything, however unlikely that may be, he would be out of harm's way.
"And what does the great Edo dream about?" he asked, his voice softer than he would've liked.
He smirked as he watched Edward pull his head up. He stayed like that for another moment before he groaned again, this time explaining why. "Great, now I'm hearing his voice."
Envy's face fell to that of confusion before it was quickly replaced with amusement. He studied Edward for another second before his need became too great. He went forward. He dropped to the ground right behind Edward who was still unmoving. "Well, that would be," he started, sniggering as he did so. He reached out then. He placed on hand on the side of Edward's face, entangling his fingers slightly with his bangs. Oh how he loved the feel of Edward's hair. The other went to Edward's hand that was that lay beyond his knees, making his press their bodies together to reach it, closing his eyes as they made contact. He brought his mouth right next to Edward's ear, continuing his earlier sentence. "Because I am talking, Edo," he purred.
He relished in the feeling of Edward next to him. All thoughts became slow and muddy, consequences being damned. He wanted this too badly. He wanted Ed to say his name again, just like he had before. He wanted to keep holding Edward like this forever yet wanted to spin him around and claim his mouth right then and there. He gripped Ed's hand tighter as he fought with himself, yelling to not go any further than this. He began to feel Ed start to shift under him, realizing it was time to let go.
He released Ed and jumped back just as Ed spun around. He watched as Edward regained his senses, blinking as his eyes fell on Envy.
"Envy?"
Envy smirked as Edward said his name. It hadn't been exactly what he was going for, but it caused a series of shivers to run up his spine nonetheless. He placed his hands on his hips as he bent down, never taking his eyes off of Edward. "That's twice you've said my name, Edo."
Edward blinked as everything came to senses. Envy was here. Envy was standing in front of him. He flinched as he felt a pang go through his heart at Envy's nickname for him. He frowned at the sin, though not meeting his eyes. "Don't call me that."
He watched from the corner of his eye as Envy straightened, head cocking to the side as he put on a pout. "You don't like my name for you, Edo?"
Edward grounded his teeth together. It went beyond disliking. He didn't hate the name; he loathed it. He hated all of the nicknames Envy had given him. They all gave off a false closeness that they had… He hated that… It was a constant reminder that they weren't, that it was impossible. "No," he finally managed to get out.
"Hmm, sounds like someone is in a mad mood. Are you not happy to see me Edward?" Envy asked.
Edward could hear the smirk in his voice. He closed his eyes at the question. Yes, he was elated to see Envy. Yes and, "No."
Envy brought a hand to his chest in a show of mock-hurt. "You wound me Edo! And after all that time I spent making them up for you!" he said dramatically.
Edward snorted under his breath.
Envy frowned. "It's true Edo," he said walking closer. Edward stiffened as he watched through his bangs Envy's feet nearing him. "In fact," continued, stopping right in front of Edward, "I think about you a lot."
Edward stopped breathing. He whipped his head up, eyes wide, only to see Envy's face hovering not far from his own. He went back, shifting his weight to his arms as be backed away.
He watched with bated breath as Envy made a disappointed look. "Scared of me Edo? That's a shame," he said as he dropped down to sit on his haunches.
No. Not scared of you at all. Me on the other hand… Edward could feel his control slipping away from him like water through his fingers. Envy was so close, and so not in a volatile mood. The contact he had had earlier with the Sin had sent his blood racing and his mind hazy. It had yet to get back to normal. "Why shouldn't I be?"
Envy smirked at Edward. "Well, it only makes sense, seeing as how you've lost your greatest advantage," he said, inching closer to Ed.
Ed watched Envy come towards him with trepidation. He gritted his teeth together, and clenched his fist, the only thing he could do so he would remember himself. He was so close to just lunging at Envy.
"So, tell me, Edo, is it true that the FullMetal Pipsqueak can no longer use his alchemy?" he asked, dangerously close to Edward.
Edward stiffened at the accusation. He narrowed his eyes at Envy as his posture became somewhat guarded.
Envy smirked. "I'll take that as a yes." He fell silent then, his eyes sweeping over Edward's form. "I wounder how good you would be in a fight without it," he said eyes locking with Edward. They became hard then. "Probably much the same as last time."
Edward flinched at the ferocity the statement was spoken with. He quirked an eyebrow at the other. "Didn't enjoy your win, Envy?"
Envy glared at him. "Where's the fun in beating someone who was already broken?"
Edward thought he stopped breathing. Wave after wave of pain crashed into him. He broke eye contact with him, choosing to stare at the ground as he felt himself begin to lightly shake. "None I suppose," he answered, trying his best to keep in voice and face bland. He replayed Envy's statement in his head, another reminder against the unfathomable. Edward realized he had a lot of those. He once again asked why he couldn't just forget him.
His attention turned to Envy as he felt his bristle, his form wavering before his eyes. Edward's eyes grew wide as he felt his back and head slam against the ground below him. He blinked up at Envy, feeling him tighten the grip he currently had on his wrists as he made eye contact.
"Do you realize I could dispose of you right now?" Envy asked. "We told you, Edward, that if you become too much trouble to us or that we see you as useless that we will get rid of you. You are replaceable," Envy said, words cutting deeper and deeper into Edward. "So, remind me, why you are unable to fight back."
Edward concentrated hard on making sure his breathing didn't go erratic. The words stung him, that was a given, but the overwhelming elation of hearing Envy say his actual name, no matter the tone, was quiet unaccounted for. I'm utterly hopeless. Edward sighed as he closed his eyes, breaking the all too intent eyes contact he had been having with the other. When he did open them again, his gaze went to the sky, bypassing Envy all together. "It's a losing battle…"
Envy stiffened. "Are you giving up that easily?"
He gritted his teeth together as he shot Envy an angry look. "Why should you care if I'm giving up or not? I am replaceable am I not," Edward shot back. He wasn't giving up. There was no way that would ever happen, but he was getting tired, and rather quickly. And the source of his accelerating disintegration was hovering just above him. Isn't life wounderful?
Edward winced as Envy intensified the grip on his wrists. "It took us four hundred years to find someone as promising as you, Edward. Let's just say we aren't keen on waiting any longer," he explained. "So, are you that eager to die, Edward?"
Edward knew that the statement should've impacted him more than it was, but he couldn't get his mind to think about anything other than the fact that Envy had just used his name again, twice in fact. Beyond salvation, I am. "I'm not planning on dying just yet," Edward replied.
"Then why are you giving up?"
"I'm not."
"Then fight back!"
"I can't."
"Why not?!"
"I just can't!" Edward yelled back. "Damnit!" he said as he closed his eyes, letting his head hit the ground with a light thunk. He tried to regain control of his breathing, as it had sped up in his agitation. He kept his eyes closed, not wanting to see the look Envy was giving him. Once his breathing was back to normal, he opened his eyes, again looking at the sky. "I just can't," he repeated in a calmer tone.
Envy was silent. Edward didn't dare look at him, too afraid of what he might see. A small shiver went up his spine as he felt Envy's hair fall over his neck. Edward begged to be let go now. He didn't think he would be able to withstand this silence much longer. He looked up, catching a glimpse of one of his wrists as he felt Envy's hold on them fluctuate between a death grip to almost nonexistent. He could feel Envy's breath ghosting over his neck, and feel his knees shift closer up. Damn the silence. Being this close to Envy was driving him mad.
"Tell me what to do," Envy said, voice a low whisper. Ed blinked, startled at the sudden break in the silence. He looked down at Envy, eyebrows furrowing together in confusion. Envy had his head bent, making Ed unable to see his face through his green locks. "Tell me what I can do to make you fight back, to make you irreplaceable."
Edward stared at him, wide eyed. He can't be serious… Edward wasn't sure if he had heard it or not, but could've sworn that Envy had had a hint of begging to his voice. Envy never begged. Edward looked back up. It just meant that this was another one of Edward's hallucinations-as he called them-, that or Envy was insane. Edward pondered that for a moment, but decided the sin had already been insane. That leaves only option one… Emotions soaring, all sensible thoughts blown out the window, all regard for reality forgotten, Edward asked what he usually asked his hallucinations involving Envy, "Kiss me."
Edward felt the breath leave his neck and Envy's hair moving again as he whipped his head up. "What?" he asked in an incredulous tone.
"You heard me," Edward grumbled, still facing the sky.
"Have you gone insane Pipsqueak?" Envy asked, defensiveness clear in his tone.
"Most likely," Edward said as he sighed. Edward began to tick off the seconds to his total demise in his head. There was no way Envy was going to let him live after that.
He closed his eyes after he reached thirty seconds. He began apologizing to Al for his stupidity in his head, cursing at himself for his blatant disregard for the severity his words could have…
He was at fifty now, and still Envy hadn't moved. He began to imagine the load of paperwork the Colonel would have to fill out after this. Imagining the slew of curses the Colonel would aim at him and his utter irresponsibility. Should I be this calm about it… Maybe Envy was right. Maybe I am going insane…
Seventy-two. Now he was just getting restless. At this point he didn't care what happened, what Envy did as long as he did something...
Eighty-five. He was back to apologizing to Al, thinking the others didn't really suffice. He was in the middle of his longest apology yet when Envy did finally move. Edward stopped then, switching gears. He got himself ready for the searing pain that was coming, most likely to be centered around his chest.
His eyes flew open as, instead of the searing pain he was expecting, he felt Envy's soft lips press against his. He stared at Envy in total disbelief. His eyes were closed, his face utterly peaceful besides the slight furrow of his brow. There was no way. Edward felt his eyes begin to close, but, as fate would have it, it was then that Envy decided to pull away.
Edward blinked in rapid succession as he registered that Envy's lips were no longer on his own. He looked at Envy, hoping to catch his eye. Envy wasn't looking at Ed, though. Instead his eyes were glued to the ground. Edward tried opening his mouth several times to say something, but his voice seemed reluctant to comply. After a few more moments of silence, Envy looked up, sparing Ed the briefest of glances before he began to pull even further away.
Ed's eyes grew wide as his breath caught in his throat. He couldn't have Envy leave now. Not after that. There was no way Edward was going to allow that to happen. He desperately tried to think of something to say, something that would make Envy stay, even if it was only for a moment longer. No words came to mind. Edward growled in frustration as Envy still pulled away. It was if everything was in slow motion and Ed's mind was on hyper drive. It was when Envy's hands began to release their hold on Ed's wrists that Ed decided to do something.
He leaned up, quickly, making his and Envy's lips meet again. Envy froze, hands hovering right above Ed's arms. Ed pulled away quicker than Envy had. He was already breathing heavier than normal. He stayed just away from Envy's face, their breaths mixing as neither moved. Ed opened his eyes briefly, looking at Envy as he did, before shutting them again. "Envy… Please," he begged. He felt Envy give a jolt as he said his name. Edward swallowed as he waited for Envy's reaction. He wasn't even sure what he was begging for. If he was begging for Envy to kiss him, begging for Envy to stay, begging him to tell he had a chance, he didn't care how small it was, if it was there, he was damn well ready to fight for it or Envy could just shoot him now.
He was leaning back down, looking at anything but the sin when Envy reacted. He bent back down, kissing Ed for the third time, and this time, Ed kissed back.
His smirk grew as Edward blinked again. He watched with absolute mirth as Edward began to pull his mouth down in a frown. Envy's heart sped faster as he looked down on Edward. He was absolutely adorable when he pouted.
"Don't call me that."
Envy pulled himself back up, so that he was standing straight. He cocked his head lightly to the side, pushing out his lips in a mock out. "You don't like my name for you, Edo?" He watched as Edward grounded his teeth together and closed his eyes more as he glared at something beyond Envy.
"No," was his simple answer. Envy didn't like that answer.
Envy smirked, deciding to push the boy's buttons a bit more before he would try anything else. "Hmm, sounds like someone is in a mad mood. Are you not happy to see me Edward?"
The same answer as last time. A grounded out, tense sounding, "No."
Envy made a huge show of his arms, finally bringing one to his chest in an over exaggerated show of hurt. "You wound me Edo! And after all that time I spent making them up for you!" he said in the same manner as his movement. He heard Edward give a soft snort under his breath. That, for some reason, pissed Envy off. He dropped his hands to his sides as he frowned. Not only that, but for some reason Edward's answer hurt him. He began to walk forward. "It's true, Edo," he said as he neared. He stopped right in front of Ed. Leaning down so that his face was just above and in front of Edward's, he continued his earlier comment, "In fact, I think about you a lot."
Envy delighted in seeing the boy momentarily stop breathing. What he didn't like was that when Edward looked up to see him, he immediately backed away. Envy frowned as another pang went across his chest. He dropped to his on his sit on haunches. "Scared of me Edo? That's a shame."
"Why shouldn't I be?" Edward asked, narrowing his eyes slightly at the Sin.
Another spark going across his chest. "Well, it only makes sense, seeing as how you've lost your greatest advantage," he said, using anything that would hopefully get the boy a little more riled up. As he spoke, he moved closer to Edward, wanting to touch the other boy, but finding no plausible excuse right now. "So, tell me, Edo, is it true that the FullMetal Pipsqueak can no longer use his alchemy?" he asked, hoping Ed would explode at his word choice. He was now very close to Ed, being able to breath in his sent. This was not doing anything for his senses.
Ed said nothing, choosing to only stiffen and glare at the other.
Envy smirked, though he was woundering why Edward didn't explode, becoming a little worried as well. If this ended up as another incident like the one at the factory… "I'll take that as a yes." It was then that a thought occurred to him. He let his eyes sweep over Edward form. "I wounder how good you would be without it," he commented mostly to himself. He felt himself stiffen as a plausible answer to that comment came to mind. "Probably much the same as last time."
Edward quirked his eyebrow at the Sin. "Didn't enjoy your win, Envy?"
Envy glared at the boy. He was getting into dangerous territory. He really dreaded another repeat of the factory. He spoke, not giving much thought to his words. "Where's the fun in beating someone who was already broken?"
He watched as Ed's eyes grew wide and a flash of pain crossed over them. He looked away, choosing to stare at the ground instead. Envy groaned to himself as he watched the boy. Wrong word choice. "None I suppose."
Envy groaned again as he heard how Ed's voice wavered and face twitched slightly as he tried to remain emotionless about the whole thing. He began to berate himself for what he did. He ran his words over in his head, then Edward's. He didn't like the way Edward had been acting. If this kept happening, Edward was going to become no more than a useless human to them. The more Envy thought about it, the angrier he got at both himself and the blonde.
He felt his rage spike to an almost uncontrollable height, and with it, the usual loss of control of his form. It rippled, Envy having to use every restrain to keep his current form intact. He choose to act then. He pushed Edward back, pinning him to the floor in his anger. He grabbed his wrists, holding them slightly above Edward's head, more of just to have an excuse to have some kind of contact with the boy than to actually restrain him. It's not like Edward would try to push him off.
Envy tightened his grip on Edward's wrists as he caught the boy's eye. He glared daggers at the boy. "Do you realize I could dispose of you right now?" he asked, his voice dropping to a dangerous tone. "We told you, Edward, that if you become too much trouble to us or that we see you as useless that we will get rid of you. You are replaceable," he said, unable to stop the speech that was issuing from his mouth. He knew he should stop talking now, that he should just leave right now, but for some reason, he was unable to pull himself away from the alchemist. "So, remind me, why you are unable to fight back."
He watched as Edward's breathing became slightly more rapid and his eyes slightly more wide, before he closed them. Edward released a sigh, doing nothing other than making the Sin angrier. It was a couple of moments before Edward reopened them, as he did though, he did not look to Envy as he did before, but rather to the sky above both of them. "It's a losing battle…"
Envy became rigid. Why was it that Edward sounded so defeated? He wasn't through yet, not by a long shot, so why did it sound as if this was the last part for Edward? "Are you giving up that easily?"
Envy felt Edward's body stiffen beneath his hold. Edward's head came up, his eyes baring daggers into him. "Why should you care if I'm giving up or not? I am replaceable, am I not?" he retorted, his glare intensifying.
Envy felt himself grow cold. The immense pain that simple statement bore down on him was unbearable. He gripped Edward's wrists in response. "It took us four hundred years to find someone as promising as you, Edward. Let's just say we aren't keen on waiting any longer," he lied easily enough. Well, in all actuality it wasn't a full lie, but it was far from what he wanted to say, wanted so badly to scream at him. "So, are you that eager to die Edward?"
"I'm not planning on dying just yet," was Edward's response. Simple, short, and oh so weak. It was far from the passion Edward used to so readily speak with when concerning their little 'journey'.
"Then why are you giving up?"
"I'm not."
"Then fight back!"
"I can't."
"Why not?!"
"I just can't!" he yelled back. "Damnit!" he said, slamming his head backwards.
Envy felt himself lift a little, glad that he was finally getting something noteworthy out of Edward. He watched as Edward's rapidly falling and rising chest began to slow. Envy frowned at that, he didn't want the boy to calm down. He wanted him riled up so that he would rise out of this despicable slump that he was in.
"I just can't," he said again, this time in a more controlled manner.
Envy gritted his teeth. He hated when Edward was like this. It wasn't like this was the first time Envy had seen Edward be a little down, but it had never reached to this level before. When ever this had happened in the past, Edward always found something to push himself back up on, something more solid for his feet to run faster on. Now… Now it seemed as though Edward had fallen into a chasm so deep, that not even the brightest of lights would reach him. Envy didn't want that. What he had said about disposing of Edward was no lie. If the other homunculi and his master found out about Edward's state, they would not hesitate to bring him down. He couldn't have that. Without Edward there, Envy didn't know what he would do. It didn't matter that him and Edward were enemies, just watching him from afar and grabbing those few close encounters was enough for him, enough for him to keep going and not go completely insane.
He couldn't think straight. It felt like if he didn't fight for every breath right now that he would surely succumb to the waves that were so ready to take him under. "Tell me what to do," he finally managed to get out. "Tell me what I can do to make you fight back, to make you irreplaceable," he begged, desperate for any chance to keep the boy in this world with him.
He felt Edward stiffen again. Envy could only imagine what thoughts were going through the boy's head. It didn't matter, though, any question he had, any suspicion he would announce, Envy would shoot it down without a second thought. He would lie about it later, making up excuses for his behavior so as not to jeopardize himself as well as Edward.
It was the longest time before Edward responded to his pleading, and when he did, it was the most unexpected thing. "Kiss me."
Envy whipped his head up, resting disbelieving eyes unto Ed's utterly calm face. "What?" he breathed.
"You heard me," Edward snapped in a mumbled tone.
Envy was silent for another second before narrowing his eyes dangerously at the other. "Have you gone insane Pipsqueak?" he inquired, looking for some normalcy in this confusing chaos.
"Most likely," Edward sighed. That was all he said. No explanation, no begging, no refuting, just two simple words.
Envy stared at him, unable to fully comprehend what was going on. There was no way that Edward was saying this. After so long of believing Edward hated him, despised him, how was he supposed to take that?
What happened if Envy did give in, and it was all a joke? How would he come out of it? No doubt Edward would be more disgusted with him than he probably already was. Envy would probably wave it off, coming back with a snappy comment in an attempt to hide his sudden weakness. What happened if Envy didn't kiss him and Edward had meant it? Would that ruin any chance the sin had with him from then on? What if he did kiss him and Edward decided he didn't like it? What would happen if Envy did kiss him and Edward kissed back? What would that mean? Would they begin something deeper or would it be nothing but fleeting kisses they exchanged once every other month? What happened if his master found out about it if they did end up doing something? How would he himself be punished, and what would they do with Edward?
Questions like those spun around his head relentlessly. Envy gulped a breath in, realizing he had stopped breathing at some point. He snuck a glance back up at Edward. His eyes were closed, a peaceful expression taking on his features. He hair spread about him, an encompassing sweep of gold. It was then that Envy felt his desire flow through him, that every instance were Envy had begged for a chance like this flashed through his head. It was then that he said 'fuck it' to everything, deciding to figure those things out when he got there.
He leaned down, pausing for a split second right above Edward before closing in the rest of the distance. Envy shivered as his lips met Edward's. Desire swept through him stronger than he had ever felt, and he had to constantly remind himself to keep it as this. After staying as long as he thought he would be allowed, Envy came back up.
He dropped his head, closing his eyes as he let the sensations continue to course through him. All the while Edward laid there, unmoving and stiff. Envy waited for Ed's reaction, his stomach slightly knotting as he did so. None came though. Envy waited for what seemed like forever in the daunting silence. Finally, when he couldn't handle it any longer, he sneaked a peak at Edward. He was staring at him, his eyes wide and mouth slightly open. Envy felt his anger mount and a suffocating pain arise in his chest. Edward had been the one to ask for it; how could he just lay there like that?
Envy snapped his head back down as he began to pull himself back up. He was about to sit back, beginning to remove his hands from Ed's wrists when Ed reacted. In one swift movement, Edward leaned up, pressing his lips firmly against Envy's. Envy felt his whole body cease to move, his finger lightly brushing the area where they had just been.
Ed pulled back, quicker than what Envy would've liked. He paused just beyond Envy's mouth, his breath flowing with Envy's. "Envy… Please," he begged.
Envy's eyes snapped shut of their own accord as a series of shivers worked their way throughout Envy's entire being. Edward's voice continually replayed itself in his mind, sending wave after wave of pleasure within him. He felt Edward drawing away from him, him going back to lay back down. Envy couldn't have that. He went down, meeting Edward's lips once again. He pushed down, making Edward come in contact with the ground as he resumed his hold on Edward's wrists. He couldn't help the elated smile that began to form as Edward began to kiss back.
Yes, I finally got to Edward's and Envy's first realy yaoi scene! I am telling you know though, that it is not ending here, nor will it be one of those fanfics that wraps up their relationship withEnvy quickly switching sides and them living happily ever after after five more chapters. No, this story is much bigger than that. It will even have two parts, both having two almost completely different.
So, I hope you guys greatly enjoyed chapter 8 of Sin an Sinner, thank you all again for your amazing reviews and I hope you keep on doing such! (Oh, and I have no idea when chapter nine will be up)
