Shout-outs: Mlle M's , brennanlust, Jane Doe51, AprilVV, RR, LouiseKurylo, Guest, and Guest
Rated: A heavy T for themes
Disclaimer: I own nothing.
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Chapter 9
Lorelei has brought her "boyfriend" around, his name is Julian. Of course, he isn't REALLY her boyfriend; he's another one of Red John's associates. But Jane says that he doesn't know that he's working for a serial killer. How do you NOT know that you're working for somebody like that? Julian bugged our bedroom. . . Jane thinks Red John is looking for the ultimate proof that he has really moved on. I feel dirty, like a star in a cheap porn film with spoof names on famous movies. I haven't had to perform yet, but I can't help thinking its coming. And the thing is, if it does come to that. . . I would do it in a heartbeat.
Lisbon lay beside him that night, unable to sleep. The hidden cameras were taunting her and causing her grief. For the first time, she didn't really feel like she'd be able to see the con completely through. Yes, she had had a handful of one-night stands before but it had never been to prove something to somebody and it had most certainly never been on camera before. The thought of somebody watching something so private made her skin crawl.
And then there was the little detail that if she did it with Jane, it wouldn't just be a one-night stand. It couldn't ever just be that, they shared way too much history for a quick tumble. Maybe they had too much history to do it at all.
"You're thinking way too loudly," Jane whispered, breaking into her thoughts. "Don't worry; I'm not going to make you do anything that makes you feel uncomfortable."
"I didn't mean to wake you up," Lisbon whispered back.
"I was already awake," Jane answered, turning on the lamp beside his bed and sitting up. He propped his pillows up and then leaned back. "Your tossing and turning had nothing to do with it. Now, what are we going to do about this new predicament? Obviously, we haven't given him enough proof that I've really moved on."
"Or he's just a dirty pervert," Lisbon said.
"That goes without saying."
Lisbon paused, carefully weighing their options. She couldn't completely give herself to Jane that much she knew but she still wanted to help him. She still wanted to prove that they'd really given up the chase and had moved on.
"Kiss me," she breathed, trying to stay calm and cool.
"Kiss you?" Jane asked.
"It isn't everything but it's something," Lisbon replied. "Maybe it'll be enough for now."
She could see him trembling, see the wheels in his head turning, she held her breath, waiting for him to agree or disagree. Before she knew what was happening, his mouth was seeking her's like an experiment. After a beat, it grew until it was something desperate and hungry and not at all pretend.
When he pulled away, Lisbon was completely shaken up. She put her fingers to his lips, tracing them as she tried to collect herself.
"How long has it been?" She asked.
"A while," Jane admitted.
"I don't care if our cover is blown," Lisbon finally said, she swallowed hard and sat up. "I don't want your first time since your wife to be because you're trying to prove a point to catch a killer. I didn't sign up for that."
Even though she kind of had.
"I understand," Jane answered. "I never wanted you to do anything that would make you feel uncomfortable."
"I'm going to sleep in the guest room," Lisbon told him after another long moment of silence.
"Stay," Jane whispered. "We don't have to do anything but I don't want to be alone right now. Please just stay. . ."
Lisbon hesitated for a moment and then she lied down again, resting her wrist on her forehead and closing her eyes. "Okay. I'll stay with you."
"We're going to figure this out," Jane said.
"We always do," she replied, smiling at him without opening her eyes.
"I don't think I'll be able to sleep tonight," Jane confessed.
"I'll go and make some tea for you," Lisbon offered.
"I don't think tea's going to help me tonight," Jane answered. "My mind is going all over the place and there's this part of me that can't help thinking we're in over our heads."
"Hey, that's my thing!" Lisbon replied, looking at him. "You're supposed to be sure of this, you know."
"But I'm not, I'm not sure of anything! And what if somewhere along the line, I lose you? What if he really does believe that I've moved on and he decides to take you from me? I don't know how I would deal with that."
"I'm not going anywhere," Lisbon said as she sat up again. "Do you hear me? I'm not going anywhere! I can protect myself, I'm a cop. I know how to do it, nothing's going to happen. Do you understand? We're going to be okay! We're both going to survive this, I swear. And if we don't, you can't let it get to you. You have to keep on living and going on. I'll hate you forever if you don't!"
"You can't hate me if you're dead."
Lisbon wanted to shake him, to scream and tell him to stop being so morbid. But she didn't, instead she framed his face with her hands and kissed him again. "I don't want you living with my ghost. I don't want my death on your conscience. This was my choice. Nobody forced me to do it," she whispered.
"We can't do this," he told her after she'd kissed him for a third time. "It isn't right; I'm not going to let you sell yourself for me. I'm going to make some tea; can I get you anything while I'm downstairs?"
"No," Lisbon answered. "I'll be okay. Go and make your tea, clear your head, then come back and try to get some sleep. Everything will be okay in the morning."
I hope, she added in her head.
He nodded and gave her a chaste kiss on the corner of her mouth before he left. Lisbon flopped back on the bed and sighed deeply as Archie came bounding in the room and jumped up on her chest. She grabbed him gently by the ears and took exhaled as she buried her face in the dog's. "What am I going to do, boy?"
She waited for an answer that she knew was never going to come.
TBC. . .
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Author's Note:
I surprised myself with this chapter. It took everything in me not to let it go that way because we all know, I do NOT write those kinds of stories and I wouldn't want their first time to be under those circumstances even if I did. I have at least three more chapters planned for this and a soundtrack in the works. In the meantime, I would love it if you would leave a review and tell me what you thought of the latest installment.
Until Next Time!
Love,
Holly, 7/17/2014_
