I think I wrote this for a million times already but...

Thank you so much for your support, my dear readers~

Even though the number of reviews on the last chapter... -Emos-

A~~~nyway, sankyuu,

MusicAngel13, Erstein 13624 and allen-chan85

for favourite this story~~

And, double thanks to MusicAngel13 and allen-chan85 for favourite me and following this story respectively~~

Reviews :

Erstein 13624 - There you go, a new chapter~~!

mitsuyo-chan - *nods* yep. It explains a lot *nods once again*

Musicangel113 - sorry, but I don't really get your meaning...

Disclaimer : I don't own -Man

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.

Last time :

Those last words he heard from Neah,

Did Neah really asked him that?

Or did his mind made that up?

Or was it was just another nightmare of his?

Or maybe...

This whole thing is a nightmare itself?

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Chapter 8 - Who are you seeing in me?

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It got worse.

Those fucking nightmares.

Kanda glared at his own reflection in the mirror as he combed his hair neatly into a high pony tail.

His once peaceful sleep was interrupt by those fucking disturbing nightmares since that day.

The day he dreamt of Allen being held up by chains.

Those nightmares were so bad until the point that Kanda couldn't even remember what were them about when he woke up.

He just woke up in the middle of the night, panting hard. Fear visible in his emotions.

However, he couldn't find the source of his fear.

What was he afraid of, in his dreams?

What was he trying to hide from?

However, aside from those, the only other thing he was sure about, was his other nightmare about Allen.

Nope.

It was not the one Allen being held up by chains.

That and that were the only nightmares he could remember clearly.

That, his other nightmare that he could still remembered clearly was...

...The one he pushed Allen down the cliff.

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"Kanda, look! It's so nice up here!" Allen said as he twirled around in circles.

He looked so happy.

That was definitely a happy picture, no doubt about it.

But why did Kanda feel uneasy, as if something bad will happen anything?

Why couldn't he feel happy that he was all alone with Allen Walker on the top of a mountain?

Allen continue twirling around in circles but stopped when he spotted the cliff.

Kanda could feel his cells warning him to get away from Allen at that sight.

But why should he?

Allen is not a killer. He was sure about that.

Or at least that was what he thought.

"Wow, this looks really deep." Allen said to him, trying to warn him not to go any nearer.

He felt his legs moved by themselves. He was walking towards Allen, totally ignoring what the younger male told him just a second ago.

"Say, Kanda-"

His hands moved up by themselves and pushed Allen down the cliff.

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...What?

What was I doing? Why did I push Moyashi down?

Kanda was having an internal battle in his mind as he stared at the falling figure down the cliff.

He saw Allen breathed out a sigh.

Did he want to die that badly?

Kanda couldn't help but asked himself. He was worry for Allen! But all the younger male did was sigh! He just fucking sighed!

Allen smiled.

What the- He's fucking smiling now! What is he? A fucking sadist that welcomes death like a best friend? Did he not know that he was falling down from a fucking cliff?!

Kanda felt his own lips moved.

"..."

He said something to Allen.

Allen's warm smile dropped in respond. He just stared at Kanda with a pained expression.

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Kanda quickly ran down to the place Allen fell.

He was not sure what did he say, but he knew whatever he said had hurt Allen.

Let him be safe. Let him be safe. Let him be safe.

He repeated those sentences like a mantra in his head.

He rushed through the thick forest and ran towards the direction Allen fell.

All the while praying to Gods for Allen's safety.

But prayers never work for Allen Walker.

He found Allen lying on the ground, eyes covered in tears. Blood flowed out from his newly made wounds.

Kanda knelt before Allen and took Allen in his hands.

That was when he realise Allen's hand was as cold as ice.

Panic built up inside of him.

No, please, no, please, no, no.

He slowly raised his finger and placed it at Allen's nose.

Nothing.

No inhalation nor exhalation.

Just nothing.

Empty.

Allen Walker was nothing but an empty shell.

Kanda dropped his hand to his side, lifelessly.

Allen died.

In his arms.

Should he be happy that Allen died in his arms or,

Should he be sad that Allen was dead?

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"Die, you freak."

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He remembered those words at that moment.

Those hurtful words he said to Allen when Allen fell.

Why did he called Allen a freak?

Sure, the younger male looked unnatural, but he was nothing like a freak.

Heck, a freak can't be this beautiful!

So why did he called Allen a freak?

He had no idea.

He wished time could be reversed and he could stop himself from saying those words to Allen.

Maybe Allen won't die in such way if he hadn't said those words.

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Stop.

Stop staring at me.

No.

Stop.

Stop staring.

I'm not what you think I am.

I'm not who you think I am.

I'm not...

I'm...

...

..

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Who am I?

.

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Days passed since the day Allen cut himself.

He tried to end his life again the next day, but he ended up staying alive.

Was he that sinful that not even the depths of hell could accept him?

He smiled bitterly.

He caused Mana's death when he was small.

He killed Neah, his only best friend in the age of 16.

He had a burned arm.

He had a nasty scar on his face.

He had grey eyes.

He had white hair.

In short, he was nothing but a failure of God's creation on earth.

Wasn't he?

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I said,

Stop staring.

I'm not him.

I'm innocent!

I'm really innocent.

I...

..

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I don't even know anymore.

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Those glances from his schoolmates scared him.

It was as if they were looking at someone else when they look at him.

They were looking at Allen Walker, yet they weren't.

.

Or was I the doppelgänger of Allen Walker?

Who is it that they are looking in me?

Who?

Will I feel better if I blind myself?

Will I?

Will all this pain disappear if I give up?

Should I give up?

.

Allen shut his eyes tight as he placed his palms together, praying.

Dear God, can you bring me away from all this pain?

Or will thou forsake me?

From a distant, a meteor could be seen in the dark sky.

.

I have nothing left.

And all I feel is this cruel wanting.

We've been falling for all this time.

And now, I'm lost in paradise.

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TBC


A/N : The last paragraph was actually a part from the song "Lost in Paradise" by Evanescence. If you haven't listen to it, try it! It'll bring you to tears~~! Eto...for the part "Or will thou forsake me?", I'm not really sure if it's correct or wrong. So PM if I'm wrong? I'm not really good in this kind of words. ^^""" okay, what else...Aha! The meteor part! Have you ever heard that if you wished a wish when you see a shooting star, your wishes will come true? Well, that was for shooting stars~~~ How about meteor? If you don't know, look forward to the next chapter~~

Yosh, guess that is all.

R&R please~~~