(Yes, this is Yamazaki's POV, but the rest of the story will be just Mariko. Enjoy!)
After seeing Mariko run away from me since I had my arms around her, I was depressed.
"BECAUSE I LOVE YOU!"
Those are the words I finally told her. She didn't say a word about it.
I was in a police car, driving back to Edo. I didn't force Mariko to come back. I knew she would've hated it.
Why? Why can't I stop crying?I thought. I didn't want to cry too much, because then I would lose my concentration on driving.
But my tears would not stop flowing, so I had to pull over to the side of the road. I stepped out of the car, and tried to calm myself down. Unfortunately, I was too devastated to calm down. I sat down on the ground, leaning on the car.
I looked up at the sky. What the hell am I going to do? If I bring Mariko back, she'll be scared and think the others will beat her up! But if I tell them where she's at, or if I say 'I can't find her', they'll all get angry at me!
Many more tears came out. I had to do a lot of thinking before going back to the others. I wasn't sure whether to tell them that I found Mariko or not.
I knew that they would get pissed at me for not bringing her if they knew I saw her. But I didn't want to lie to them either.
I shut my eyes real tight, and buried my face in my legs. My face was turning red, and I could barely catch my breath from crying so much. I panted for a few seconds, and then have thought, I should not tell them. They're gonna beat me up if I tell them I found her, and didn't force her to come back to the Headquarters.
For me, it was the most difficult choice ever. But then, after fifteen minutes, I have decided not to let the members know.
I got back in the car, started the engine, and drove off the side of the road.
My tears were going away, but I still had sadness. I was holding tightly on the wheel.
Mariko, I'll try not to say a word to the other members, but if they force me to say it, I'm sorry.
I came back to the Shinsengumi Headquarters. I turned off the car, opened the door and stepped out. Then, I saw Okita with his headphones in his ears.
"You didn't find Mariko?" asked Okita, who was chewing bubble gum.
I told myself not to say anything, so I shook my head. I walked into the Headquarters, silently, and didn't see anyone there. I lifted one eyebrow up.
"Hello? Is anybody here? Hellooooooo?" I had thought they all went to arrest someone, but then again, Okita was here, so I got confused.
But I had a feeling that they let him see if and when I'd come back. Just then, Okita was right behind me. I had to ask him where everybody was, since I didn't see one of the other members.
Okita then speaks. "Hm, the other members are gathering in the meeting room, but they're not really having a meeting."
I blinked once at him. Not having a meeting? Then why're they in the meeting room?I didn't understand one bit of what Okita had told me. So I went to the meeting room.
As soon as I was near the doors to the room, I heard various talking. Everybody was talking to each other, and it was pretty hard to understand what they were all talking about. But surprisingly, I heard one conversation completely, and it was Hijikata talking to another member.
"I bet Yamazaki hesitated because he cares so much about Mariko." I opened my eyes in shock. "He wanted to go, but when Mariko used to work here, he's been too kind to her."
I yelled in my thoughts, No way! How...How could he know? And how will I not tell him now?
I started to panic, and I turned my head both ways really fast.
I didn't know what to do, so I had no choice...but to try to run. But it was too late. Okita stood right in front of me as soon as I turned my back. He made a sadistic smile at me, and I got a bit scared.
"Going somewhere, Yamazaki-San?" Okita asked sarcastically. He forced me to face the doors and put his hand on my shoulder. Okita then opens the door fast, and everyone looked at me, with a look that made me feel uncomfortable.
Okita then says, "Look who came back."
All of the members were staring at me. They didn't smile, or even grin. They all just stood up, and Hijikata came in front of me. Okita pulled his hand away from my shoulder.
Hijikata looked at me with a terrifying look and asked, "Did you find Mariko?"
At first, I thought he wasn't supposed to ask that question, because if I did bring Mariko, she would've been right beside me. But she wasn't. I then realized that he knew I was up to something.
"Yamazaki-San, I realized why youwanted to find her. You care a lot about her. You even hesitated a bit when I was asking which one of the members would go look. And you were sweating a bit."
I was more scared than ever. Two of the Shinsengumi then grabbed my arms, and forced my to kneel down. Hijikata kept talking.
"And now you're scared of telling me where she is! Because I can see it in your eyes! You havefound her, but you were just scared."
I told Hijikata loudly, "She would've even believed me! You've all treated her like crap, so she would've said to me, 'Why would they apologize to me?' or something like that!" That's when I noticed that I has slipped my tongue. Hijikata opened his eyes very widely.
"So you do know where she is! Tell me, Yamazaki, where is she?" He blew a puff of smoke into my face, and I started coughing.
I yelled, "I'm not saying anything! She'll just get scared!"
Hijikata got irritated and punched me right on the face.
"We willapologize to her, because we all feel ashamed of ourselves! We'll force her to listen to us! So tell us where she is!"
I started bleeding, but I didn't care.
"N-Never!"
He snapped his finger and told two other members, "Beat Yamazaki up until he answers my question."
I was petrified, but I refused to answer. Then, all of a sudden, one members knelled me in the stomach. I coughed very hard and lowered my head down. Another member punched me in the stomach as well. I was starting to cough up blood, but I still didn't say anything.
Hijikata then squints his eyes and says, "Hm, no good. Grab his hair."
I've always despised my hair being pulled, but one of them grabbed it and pulled me up.
I screamed so loudly, that my voice was weakening. The member who was grabbing my hair was grabbing it tighter, making me shed tears.
"Are you going to tell us now, or are you still wanting more pain by keeping your mouth shut?" Hijikata said with an angry tone.
I couldn't handle the pain any longer, so I screamed, "ALRIGHT, ALRIGHT! I'LL TELL YOU! JUST MAKE IT STOP, PLEASE!" I cried as they were still pulling it. Hijikata then ordered them to let go of me.
I was finally free from the hand. But I nearly slammed to the floor, and cried a lot.
Hijikata then tells me to lift my head up so that I could tell exactly where Mariko was.
"Well, where is she?"
I took a breath and told him the truth. "She's...in Yoshiwara. She lives there now."
He then grins. "Thank you, Yamazaki. Tomorrow, we'll all go to Yoshiwara and apologize to Mariko. And she will listen to us, whether she's scared or not."
They all went out of the room and I was left alone. I put my head on the floor and was balling into tears.
Fuck...Fuck! Godfuckingdammit!
I went to my room to rest after a hard day. I couldn't help but shed tears.
I never knew...that they would torture me just to want an answer!
I was alone in my alone, but it felt like I was being haunted by the rest of the members. It felt like they came into my room just to torture me again. I couldn't help but shake of fear.
I tried to go to sleep, but I couldn't shut my eyes, because if I were to shut my eyes, that image of them beating me would come up.
I couldn't help but think of tomorrow.
How will Mariko react? How can I tell her after all this?
I covered my mouth, and closed my eyes very tightly.
I'm so sorry, Mariko! I'm so sorry! I'm so sorry!
All I could think was apologizing. But I didn't know whether she would forgive me or not. All I could do was wait for the next day to come.
Hope you enjoyed chapter 9! And by the way, the apology from the Shinsengumi is a REAL apology!
