Chapter 9:
"You're not insane, B. I know what you mean. It hurts me to be around you, too. And yet, every fuckin' mornin' since we met up again... I swear the first fuckin' thought in my mind is always about you. Sometimes good, sometimes bad, but always about you."
I look at her in surprise for a while, then decide I've had enough of this topic, so I just nod in understanding, then change the subject.
"So what's with all the hostility around here?" I ask.
"Buffy, you know-"
"No,I get why everyone's pissed at me... But why's everyone pissed at each other? I mean, you and Giles looked like you both wanted to slit each other's throats, which, even after everything that happened with the Mayor, Giles still never actually wanted to kill you. So why now?"
"You really wanna know?"
"Yeah. Why? Why were you and Giles at each other's throats earlier? Specifically that one."
Faith sighs. "It was a difference in opinion. A big one. Happened about a year and a half ago..."
"What was it?"
Faith sighed. "He gave up... He just gave up."
"Gave up on what?"
"You. He just gave up on finding you one day. Woke up and just decided to stop lookin'. No one else wanted to stop. We were all still hopin' that you'd turn up somewhere, so it pissed us off the Giles was just givin' up, especially since he was the one that controlled the resources goin' towards the search. He said that lookin' for you was a waste of time, and that we were gonna stop. I disagreed, sayin' that we should at least all take a vote on it. It was Giles against everyone else, but he still cut the resources. So, we had to start lookin' for you on our own time, and even then, only with our eyes. We had to hope we'd just run into you one day. Finally, I got tired of it. Others started givin' up, too, sayin' that if we couldn't find you in three and a half years, even with all of the old Watcher's Council resources, plus the new ones we have now, with the Slayer Organization, we had no chance of ever findin' you without them. I got fed up with his attitude, and I let him know how I felt about it. Several times. Then, one day, we just started shoutin' at each other. He'd been drinkin' for some reason, so he was a lot more aggressive, and it turned into a fist fight. I won, of course, and I only hit him once, but it was enough. We haven't gotten along since. I hoped that, with you back in the picture, at least for now, that he'd loosen up a bit and we could at least get back to bein' co-workers or somethin', but if anythin', he can stand me even less."
"So... You never gave up on looking for me?"
Faith is silent.
"Faith?"
"No. Not until... Not until about a month ago."
"What happened?"
"I was... I was on assignment in the Amazon, 'cause we got intel that a little tribe of demon worshippers was plannin' on raisin' some kinda apocalypse type of demon, and rainin' hell down on the Earth, so me and a group of Slayers was sent down there to put a stop to it. Apparently, it was a trap, though. The truth was that it was one of those demons that fancied himself invincible, so he wanted to take down the Slayer Org. He sent the intel himself, knowin' that we'd send our best Slayers. He ende up killin' all but three of us. Me, Ken, and this Asian Slayer, named Satsu. He captured us and was gonna feed us to these cannibals, just 'cause he found it amusin'. He figured fifty humans would be enough to take down three Slayers, especially since we were tired and wounded. One thing he didn't count on, though, was how wicked Satsu was with a fuckin' sword."
"Wait... she didn't...?"
"No, no... But it turns out, a branch with the twigs broken off can be used like a sword. She ended up knockin', like, half of them out before they could even get close to us, then the three of us finished the rest of 'em off. Turned to the demon, and the three of us managed to kill him. But durin' that battle... I found myself lookin' around for ya, to see how you were doin'. Same thing I always do when I'm in the middle of a huge save-the-world battle. But this time, I finally let myself feel it."
"Feel what?" I whisper, though I know exactly what she's talking about.
"Anger. I finally admitted to myself that I was angry at you. That I wasn't just worried about where you were, like maybe you'd been captured or somethin', and you needed rescuin'. I realized that I knew all along that you hadn't been captured. You left. You saw your out, and you took it. And I hated you because of it. And I hated you even more because, even knowing that you just left, I still loved you. I gave up on looking for you then. Because I realised that I knew all along that you just didn't want to be found. Giles tried to approach me after he heard that I'd abandoned my search, tried to reconcile with me and tell me that he thought I was makin' the right choice, but I just knocked him on his ass. You know... I never told anyone how I felt about ya. Kept it to myself all along. Tried to hide how much it was eatin' me up inside that you left. Finally, 'bout a week ago, Dawn called me on my shit. Came right up and told me that I was in love with ya. Didn't ask, just told me. Said she was certain of it, that she didn't even need to ask if it was true. Then she came out and told me that she had another lead on where you might be. Said that no one else knew, and that it would be my choice whether or not to follow the lead. I resisted for about a day, but then... I had this dream. It was the most vivid one I'd ever had about you up until then. I decided the next day that I'd follow this one last lead, and if I didn't find ya, then that was it. No more."
"And you found me."
She nods. "Yeah, but not 'cause of the lead. The lead actually took me all the way down to Corpus Christie. Apparently, some blonde was seen fightin' off a bunch of water demons down there, so Dawn got word of it, and thought it might have been you. So, I went down to Corpus Christie, found the blonde, and sent her back here. I decided to stay the day there in Corpus Christie, 'cause I figured I needed somethin' of a break, to recharge a little before I headed back to HQ. Unfortunately, G had other plans, and he called me back immediately. I took the long way back, though, and decided to head through Dallas. Got there late at night, so I got a hotel room. Got bored, so I walked around a bit, found the Fight Club. I went in, figurin' I'd catch a fight or two, then I saw some chick callin' herself "The Slayer"."
I perk up at that.
"Yeah. I figured, well, Giles might be a little easier on me for comin' back late if I brought a new Slayer back with me. So, I stayed another day, and got myself a debut match against "The Slayer", thinkin' I'd see what she's got, maybe she actually was a Slayer. Imagine my surprise when I recognised the way the girl fought. It intrigued me a bit, so I accepted when she asked for a rematch. Then... The next night..."
"I won... And you found me..."
"Yeah. Go figure. The second we all give up on findin' ya, you just drop into my lap. Almost literally, which I actually kind of appreciated, by the way." Faith jokes, trying to play off how hurt she actually is."
"Faith..."
"Don't, B. You can charm your way up to Willow, and with a bit of time, you'll win over Xander and Giles, and Dawn... But don't think you can just waltz back into my life like nothin' happened. You left us all, but you know damn well it's different for me. They love you. I'm in love with you. And yeah, I mean that in the present tense. But the time when we coulda been together, the time when we coulda been happy together, it's gone. It's over. So I'll play friendly, 'cause the truth is, we need you right now, if we're goin' to have any chance of beatin' back this army of demons. But once it's over, it's over. Once this is all over, either you crawl back to Dallas, back to your mansion, and your fight club, or I'll leave."
"Faith, you said we'd work on this!" I exclaim, tears in my eyes. "You said we could work towards being friends!"
"Yeah, well... I was wrong. I just... I want it so bad... that I fooled myself into thinkin' that it might actually happen. But sittin' here, with you, drinkin' this piss warm beer knock-off... it made me realise the truth. We'll never be friends. We can't be friends. It just wouldn't work. And as long as we're in each other's lives, neither of us will ever be able to move on. So we can work together to fight off these demons, but then that's it."
She throws her empty can away and turns to walk out.
No. I think. No. This is not happening. This is not happening. I stand up, setting my half-full can on the ground beside me, and I storm up to her.
"I don't want to move on." I say forcefully, and I turn her back around just as she's opening the door, and I push her up against the door, slamming it closed again. I slam our lips together and kiss her with everything I've got. I can feel her tense up for a second, then she relaxes and moans into the kiss as her arms wrap around my waist, pulling me in closer, tighter. I pull away long enough to get a few words in. "No more innuendos. No more tiptoeing around the truth. No more keeping each other at an arm's length. No more meeting halfway. No more giving up because it can't happen. No more. I'm done with it. I'm not gonna meet you halfway anymore. I'm going all the way. I'm not keeping you at an arm's length, I'm pulling you in to me, and I'm keeping you there. I'm not giving up because you say it can't happen, we're going to make it happen. Neither of us have ever been ones for playing by the rulebook, so I say we write our own damn rules."
We're both silent for a long time, pressed up against each other, breathing harshly. Finally, Faith is the one to break the silence.
"You know... it all looks good on paper, what you said, I mean... But... Paper doesn't carry any real substance, B. I need more than words."
"Then damn it, Faith, give me a chance to give you more than words! Give me a chance to prove that I'm not running away this time! I can't prove anything to you if you won't give me a chance!"
Again, the uncomfortable silence. And again, Faith is the one to break it.
"You had plenty of chances, B. I'm not talkin' about back before you left. That was all just as much my fault as it was yours. But you've had five years of nothin' but chances to come back. I'm not givin' any more."
"Okay, fine then. If you won't give me a chance, then take a chance yourself! You've spent the last five years looking for me so that you could have a chance with me, right? Well, you've found me, so take your damned chance!"
Faith looks at me in surprise for a long while, and once again, the uncomfortable silence falls over us. This time, though, neither of us breaks the silence. Instead, when Faith replies, she does so by nodding. Just one nod, one simple, barely noticeable nod. But it's enough. I surge forward and capture her lips again in a bruising kiss. And this time, she doesn't hesitate to kiss me back.
So, it's a very short chapter this time around, sorry about that. I just couldn't think of a better ending of this chapter. If you think I'm being too hasty in getting them together, don't worry, they've still got a bit of drama ahead of them. It's not official, yet. Also, for those of you who may be thinking "What happened to Buffy's friend in Dallas?", I'll be bringing her back into the story soon.
