Disclaimer: I Do Not Own Revenge, I Just Love It
Chapter 9: Ruminating
"I'm taking you to the hospital," Daniel said firmly, "You need to get patched up".
Emily scowled at him, struggling to get out of his grip, but he was stronger than her, much stronger due to her weakened state and so eventually she gave up.
"You're hurting me" she hissed instead, expecting him to loosen his grip on her with those words, but instead he tightened it even more, causing her to draw in a jagged breath, as he whispered, "You're hurting yourself".
Daniel didn't know whether those words had somehow managed to subdue her in one way or another, or whether her rage had already begun to start boiling down at that point in time. However, after those words had settled into the air, Emily had passively let him lead her down the stairs and into his fancy black car.
They were so close, Daniel thought to himself, as he tried to ignore the feelings and memories those sensations evoked.
Once they had gotten into the car, in order for him to keep the pressure on Emily's bleeding wound, he had needed her body close to his and therefore had had to wrap his free arm around her body to pull her in to him.
He was so close, that he could feel her heartbeat pounding against her chest, feel her soft breaths of exhalation against his skin and smell her usual scent; Japanese Cherry Blossoms, though mixed in with the scent of her blood, the usually sweet smelling perfume, was almost sickening.
At that point in time Emily's eyes had remained firmly shut, either as a way to try combat the pain she might have been feeling by then or as a way to try shut out the feeling of his body being so close to hers. Daniel's eyes had remained wide open though and as he held her, applying pressure to her wound, he had stole an agonizing gaze towards her, holding such conflicting feelings towards the beautiful being in his arms.
Twenty minutes, it had taken them all but twenty minutes, to re-stitch Emily's blood wound and bandage her up again. He had watched in the hospital room, as the doctors so efficiently patched up his wife, though it gave him no relief, only panic. He didn't want to take her home so soon, he didn't want to fight more, or talk more, he just wanted time to take a breath alone, to think, to let everything sink in, to ruminate.
And so he had done something quite naughty, which he really shouldn't have done. He had pulled the doctors aside, and told them that his wife hadn't been sleeping well at all, that she'd been up all night, in anxiety from the shooting and that he was really worried about her. He had played on their sympathy, and because of the power he held from his Grayson name, he had managed to convince them into administering a sleeping drug to Emily Thorne without her knowledge and consent.
He had then played up the fabrication of her insomnia, informing the doctors that he wanted her to stay overnight, to ensure that this insomnia of hers had not been affecting her physiological needs, and then lastly he had feigned an important business call, distancing himself from Emily and the doctors, and informing them that he'd be back to pick her up in the morning.
Daniel had left her there, under an induced sleep in the hospital bed alone, having made sure to kiss Emily tentatively on the cheek as a show of his love for her, that the doctors would see, before leaving .
Daniel hadn't wanted to go back home, where his vile mother was though and so he had his chauffer drop him off at the beach and decided to take a stroll along it, like he had seen Emily do so many times before. She had always looked so peaceful when she did... so content as she looked towards the waves. He never did know what she found so intriguing about them, but he had no doubt that the water always seemed to call to her, maybe that's why it had saved her all those weeks ago, drifting her to safety instead of engulfing her.
The waves didn't seem to call to him though, not the same way it did to her, maybe he just didn't know the magic of them, sure it was beautiful and vast, and it could look so lovely on a sunny day as the waves glistened while flowing in soft powerful motions but... that was all. Maybe if his mother had let him spend more time on the beach as a child, than he could have discovered the magic of the ocean, but like many things, she had failed him in so many ways.
As Daniel walked along the beach feeling lonely and melancholy in his mood from self reflecting on both himself and the messed up relationship that was him and Emily Thorne, he had found himself wound up in a lovely secluded place far out on the beach, just at the moment when he had been ruminating about the all the things Emily had previously said to him only hours before.
Far out indeed he thought to himself, as he noticed that the lovely soft sand had been replaced with large gray rocks.
And then it hit him, the familiarity of this place crashing into him at full throttle, along with the lovely yet now painful memory it drew up.
Their first date.
Flashback
Emily was wearing a simple, white sundress, which suited her perfectly and the innocent look she portrayed, with a light pink shawl draped around her shoulders, and her hair put up into a small little bun. Daniel was wearing a simple blue shirt, with a light gray blazer over top, and a white pair of trousers. The perfect look for any wealthy young man in the Hampton's and he wore it well.
"I hope my mother wasn't too hard on you the other day?" Daniel asked softly, as he walked along the rocky beach shore with Emily Thorne, wanting to apologize on behalf of his mother, knowing full well what she was truly like underneath the graces the Grayson wealth bestowed on her.
"I don't scare too easily" Emily replied, "though does she interrogate all your dates?"
"Yeah" he replied with irrevocable honesty, despite the disapproval he felt from her actions, "My Mum's not really a hands off kind of person...at least you got rid of her lie detector though...kidding you'll never get rid of that thing" he added jokingly making light of the conversation.
She smiled, enthralled by his charm as he led her to the little picnic area he had set up for her, "you're not planning on becoming a comedian, are you?" she joked.
"Maybe in my next life", he replied lightly, as they both sat down facing each other, on the large log beside the picnic, he'd set up for her.
Daniel had really wanted to impress her that first date and so he had decided to one up his romantic location by taking advantage of the beach she was probably still exploring in her recent move to the Hamptons.
He was glad he did, it was a beautiful location that seemed to draw its beauty from the simplicity of nature and setting up the little picnic lunch in the area, was a gesture he thought she'd appreciate.
"My future is pretty well mapped out this time around, one more year at Harvard Business and then it's straight to the boardroom. I wouldn't be surprised if my dad already has an office picked out for me."
He didn't know why he was telling her this but when he looked at her, he felt comfortable around her, like he could tell her anything, like she would listen, like no one truly ever had to him.
"Hmm that sounds..."
"I know how it sounds" he interrupted softly, gazing into her eyes.
Shaking his head ever so slightly, he then changed the topic onto a lighter one or so he thought, "What about your parents?"
She paused slightly and looked away before bringing her gaze back to his and softly said, "Mum, caring, smart and Dad special...lovely people".
"So I shouldn't expect an interrogation" he replied with a slight smile.
"They passed away when I was a child, car crash" she replied honestly, no doubt trying to mask the full extent of sorrow she felt from that fact. Her voice was soft and controlled, as if she had mastered how to let those words slip out, without trouble, or without breaking down. She probably had, who knows how many times she'd had to vocalize her parents deaths before.
"I'm so sorry" he said gently his voice and expression genuinely expressing that, "any brothers and sisters?"
She shook her head ever so slightly, "just me" she replied.
"Well you and that lovely beach house" he reminded her with a smile on his handsome face, having wanted to stray away from the sad feelings his question had brought up.
She smiled and he was so glad, she had a beautiful smile, "maybe you could set down some roots of your own now" he murmured softly.
"Yes maybe" she replied as she looked into his soft brown eyes.
Hesitating slightly she then asked, "Want to come by for the tour later on?"
He smiled brightly at this invitation, which was the first of many, "I'm ready when you are" he replied to which she smiled at.
FLASHBACK END
Yes they'd had a lovely date that day, Daniel thought to himself, with a sharp pain in his heart. It really had been lovely; she had enthralled him that day and he had charmed her or so he liked to think.
They had hit it off on a good start, and he had instantly found himself drawn to Emily, there was something special about her that he liked, something refreshing, that led him into wanting to know more and more about her.
He remembered that after their date, he had led her back to her beach house, and unbeknownst to her, a surprise, Welcome To The Hamptons Party, which he had planned with her friend Ashley, was secretly underway at that very moment,
Flashback
"So how does it feel to know that you'll be spending the night in your new home" Daniel asked lightly as they walked up to the porch steps of her house.
"It's kind of hard to describe actually" Emily replied softly, slowing stopping right by her door so that she could face Daniel who instinctively did the same, "I had a really great time tonight" she admitted as she gazed into his kind, warm brown eyes.
"Me too" he murmured gently, gazing softly into her own.
Emily smiled, and Daniel desperately wanted to tell her how beautiful she looked.
But instead he grabbed her hands in his and slowly increased his proximity towards her, wanting to show her how he felt by capturing her delicately on those soft looking, rosy colored lips of her.
Flashback End
At that precise moment, he had never gotten the chance to kiss her, Nolan, Jack and his dog had ended up on Emily's porch, interrupting them and ruining the surprise for her surprise party. He had kind of gotten the sense, that she wasn't big on surprises anyway so that didn't seem to matter much, but the kiss did. He had had to wait all night, until the last of the guests had finally left her house until he could ardently resume where they'd left off and kiss her. It was worth it though; she was worth the wait and a whole lot more.
What they had, had been golden, how did they manage to turn that gold into lead? Daniel asked himself regretfully, as he aimlessly began to throw rocks into the ocean, the small amount of happiness he had felt whilst reminiscing having completely vanished at that point in time. He wasn't living in the past and he no longer could, he was living in the present and the reality of that was bleak.
And so he just began to throw those rocks, as far as he could, and as hard as he could, one rock, after another, he threw and threw, watching as they landed with a splash into the ocean, and observing the ripples it made.
Did it help? Not really but exerting all his energy in a trivial task, putting all his energy into it, all his anger and pain, into the intensity of his throws, meant that he could at least direct it somewhere.
His arms began to ache, and he knew that they'd be terrible in the morning from the build up of lactic acid inside his body, but still he continued to throw, even as he felt the sharp rock he'd picked up prick the tender skin of his hand.
After a long while Daniel suddenly stopped though, dropping the stone that was in his hand.
What was the point? What would throwing rocks do? What would it solve between them? ... nothing, absolutely nothing, it was hopeless, any sense of amendment was hopeless.
It was during this point in time, that Daniel Grayson felt a tear drop began to fall from his eye, and then another and another and another.
"Boys don't cry Daniel", that's what his father had always told him, "Especially a Grayson boy. We Grayson men, are strong...powerful and tears are a sign of weakness, of vulnerability, do you understand son?"
He understood, he understood perfectly, even now he was weak for her, vulnerable when it came to Emily, even now, after everything that had happened, he still loved her after all.
What a somber realization he thought to himself bitterly.
Emily slowly opened her eyes, her consciousness momentarily jumbled, until it all came back to her in a rush. Slowly sitting up in the bed, she cursed under her breath, a scowl coming onto her face, as she took in the white, sterile hospital room, Daniel had left her in. Slipping off the cover, she looked down at her stomach and lifted up the hospital gown, to find, a new clean bandage over her wound.
That annoyed her even more, reminding her of Daniels forceful persistence that she come to this god forsaken place and get it patched up. Yanking down her hospital gown, before she ripped off the bandage again in her madness, she quickly tried to move herself out of the bed, biting down on her lip, as she tried to suppress the scream she felt rising in her throat, from the pain, that sudden movement had caused.
Stopping momentarily, Emily felt tears begin to surface in her frustration but she forced them away, as this time, she slowly eased herself off the bed, wincing as she felt the coldness of the floor against her bare feet.
She wanted out of there, of the hospital, she'd spent enough time in it during the past month, but just as she reached the door, a friendly looking nurse let herself in. "Mrs. Grayson, I see you're awake?"
Emily narrowed her eyes at the nurse, "I never even knew I fell asleep, I wasn't that tired."
"Your husband was worried, he said you'd been having trouble sleeping and so he asked if we could help you out".
"You drugged me?" Emily asked bitterly, cursing Daniel further in her head.
The nurses eyes flickered away from Emily, as she quickly assured her, "It was for your own benefit, and nothing more than an over the counter drug."
Emily sighed before plastering a kind smile on her exhausted face, she could tell she was intimidating the nurse and to take out her anger on such a naive being seemed misdirected. "Of course".
The nurse let out a relieved breath and smiled kindly at Emily, "Do you feel better, Mrs. Grayson?"
Emily nodded her head, "Yes thank you... and you can just call me Emily"
The young nurse beamed brightly, her eyes twinkling with happiness, and as Emily stared back at her, she felt momentarily alarmed, that that added few words could cause the nurse anything more than a note worth remembering.
Sometimes she forgot just how much the Grayson name meant, and just how important it could be. People marveled at the Graysons, as if they were celebrities, it was ridiculous... the only thing the Grayson's deserved were scorn.
"Are you sure you want to marry into my crazy family and bear the Grayson name?" Daniel had once asked her.
She should have truly thought about that then, instead of being blinded by the love she thought she had seen in his eyes, when he'd asked her.
Shaking her head abruptly, trying to clear those thoughts from her head, she looked towards the nurse, "I'm ready to go home now" she said politely.
"Mr. Grayson's not here right now, unfortunately he had an urgent work issue he had to attend to, but he wanted me to let you know, that he hoped you felt better and that he'd come for you in the morning, after us doctors could make sure everything was fine over the night."
"That's ridiculous" Emily replied incredulously, she knew what he was doing, administering drugs into her, trying to keep her locked in the hospital room for the night, had he no shame?
"I feel fine" she added as she walked closer towards the nurse who was conveniently blocking the door.
"Mrs. Gra... Emily, he strictly ordered that we watch over you, just for precaution"
Taking a step closer towards the nurse, this time purposefully wanting to intimidate her, she tentatively began to question the nurse, a dangerous tone, hidden beneath her civil tone, "Are you going to keep me here against my will?"
The nurse shook her head aggressively, "Of course not" she said quickly, "Your husband's just worried, he just wants..."
Emily put up her hand gesturing for her to stop, "I will let my husband know how kindly you treated me and assure him that you insisted I stay, but you cannot keep me here against my will and so I will be checking myself out."
The nurse nodded her head meekly and stepped aside,
Just as Emily's hand touched the door knob, she turned towards the nurse, "Your phone please?" she asked, well more demanded despite the sweet tone her voice held.
As she felt the smooth black object of the now uncomfortable looking nurse, slip into the palm of her hand. Even she couldn't deny that the power behind the Grayson name sometimes felt nice.
"Took you long enough" Emily said impatiently as she looked up to see Nolan Ross quickly walking towards her, in the hospital lobby.
She looked unusually unraveled at this point, so even Nolan held back his usual playful and sarcastic mirth, as he handed her the large plastic bag, in his hands.
"I rushed here" Nolan replied honestly, "I always do when you call"
Emily's eyes pain filled eyes flickered up to look into his, "Well things change, you have a girlfriend now" she replied bitterly, "and anyway I don't know where I stand with anything anymore."
"What's that suppose to mean?" Nolan asked concerned by her comment.
She looked at him, seeming ready to say something, but then she closed her mouth and began to start walking away from him.
"You're family" Nolan said, his voice raised so she'd hear, as he ran to catch up to her, his hand placed firmly on her shoulder, to try stop her from walking away further.
She did stop, though she didn't turn around to face him,
"You're family, Em's, you come first always" he repeated, this time softly, as he looked towards her back.
There was a long moment of silence, but then he heard her voice, quiet, yet strong-willed, as she asked, "Promise me?"
"I promise, I promise you Emily" Nolan uttered faithfully, feeling, a sense of worry wash over himself, just how much pain was she in? The question in itself might have seemed demanding, but he knew her, and he knew that what she asked was out of her on vulnerability.
"I'm selfish" she muttered bitterly, as she slowly began walking again.
"You're in pain and you want reassurance that somebody has your back" Nolan replied in justification.
Turning her head, around so that she was now looking into his concerned blue eyes, she shook her head slightly, "You always make excuses for me, Nolan" she replied, just before stepping into the women's bathroom.
As the door shut behind him, he sighed and leant against the wall, how could he help Emily?
Coming out 15 minutes later, the hospital clothes, having been ditched for the comfortable Hampton's attire, Nolan had kindly brought to her, she glanced at him, and gestured for him to lead her towards the car, which he dutifully did.
As the doors shut after them, Nolan looked at her from the driver's seat and firmly said, "We're away from prying eyes now Em's, and I can't hold this in any longer, so just listen"
"I'm worried about you...we had a plan, remember? You were supposed to leave the Grayson's, move on. Instead, for some reason unbeknownst to me, you abandoned that plan, held that press meeting lying about your memory, ended up in the hospital, and looking at you now, you seem like you're in even more pain than when I last saw you...and that was only yesterday. What the hell's going on?"
Emily shook her head slightly, "He took more from me than I ever thought, and now I can't just leave Nolan, I don't want to."
"You want Revenge?" Nolan asked cautiously, an unsettling feeling beginning to settle in his stomach. When he had first found out what Daniel had done to her, he was the one who wanted her to get some type of payback and she was the one who had wanted to move on. He now had no idea what the hell changed, but that look in her eyes scared him and he knew it lead to nowhere good.
"Something like that" she replied callously, "but not through the police or public shaming or something easy like that, I want to take him down myself, I want to ruin him from the inside out... and for that I need to stay."
She was serious, completely so and Nolan felt a sick feeling begin to form in his stomach, this was not what he wanted fir herm "You're going to hurt yourself" he reasoned.
"I'm already hurt" she retorted, the volume of her voice having elevated, along with the unmistakeable look of anger and hatred deep within her eyes, "and I don't see how he could possibly hurt me more than he already has."
"What happened to moving on, starting fresh?" Nolan questioned urgently.
"I wanted to, I really did, but it doesn't matter anymore" she replied despondently, purposefully avoiding Nolan's eye, "I can't have children because of him...when he shot me, not only did he break my heart and seriously wound me,but he also and most unforgivably stole my future children from me."
Nolan's eyes widened in horror, and he looked towards Emily with such anguish in his expression, "I'm so sorry Em's" Nolan uttered earnestly, reaching for her hand as a gesture of his support, "I'll help you through this".
Emily shook her head slightly, "You, can't help me Nolan... just tell me that you now understand why I have to do this"
Nolan nodded his head, "I do" he murmured and he did understand, Emily was a fighter, she always had been, and after what she found out, he knew that in her pain she wouldn't be able to simply let that go so easily.
He also knew that in her pain she might go too far, and that's what scared him the most, so turning to her he wisely warned, "Just be careful, I don't know how Daniel's been these past few weeks, I can imagine incredibly guilty, but what I do know is that if you keep taking jabs at him, there will be a point in time when he decides he's had enough and he will fight back."
"I can handle Daniel" she replied unwaveringly.
Nolan sighed, wanting to say more, but not knowing what, "Then where to now" he finally asked, having finally started to rev up the car.
"Your place, I need to regroup before I go back there" she replied, referring to the Grayson Manor
"Why aren't you still at the hospital right now?" Victoria questioned from her fancy throne in the living room, as Daniel entered the room with a sad and worn out look on his face, "Need I remind you, that you of all people need to keep up the appearance of a loving and concerned husband, especially being that you were the one to shoot her."
"Something I just can't forget" Daniel mumbled despondently, as he gravitated towards the liquor cabinet, once again relying on its strong and dangerous powers to get him through the day.
Bringing her cup of tea to her mouth, Victoria took a dainty sip before placing it back down on the coffee table, and scornfully saying, "If you had listened to me from the start, then you would not be in this mess with her, but instead you had to be so bull headed and let that imposter fool you".
His face twitched at that comment and in his anger he placed the glass down harshly on the table, the loud sound resonating through the room, as he hastily poured himself a generous amount of liquor. Turning around to face his mother after taking a large sip, he scowled at her his face scrunched up in anger, and his voice harsh and cold. He had no words to reply to what she had scornfully said, not new ones, they'd hashed out that argument many times before, but instead he had a question of his own for her, "Why the hell didn't you tell me?"
An aggressive look for such a young man, but it did not seem to faze Victoria who calmly replied, "You will have to enlighten me further if you want an answer."
"That Emily was infertile, that I was the one who made her that way when I shot her. You should have told me, I should have known!" he yelled angrily.
"Why?" she questioned abstractly, "Did you want to feel even more guilt, remorse, and anger? Is that what you wanted?"
Daniel shook his head in frustration and disgust, "We talked about children before" he replied despondently, his voice quiet, as if he was talking to himself, "she wanted three."
"See Daniel" Victoria prompted, refusing to look at where he was coming from in her resentment for Emily, "This is why I did not tell you, you've been shouldering enough guilt on your shoulders for weeks, and there was no need to burden you further".
Looking at her in disgust, his own voice carrying that same sentiment he frustratingly yelled, "How the hell can I atone for my sins, if you're hiding some of the worst parts from me...You and Dad always, always, always washed away my mistakes with money, or your connections. You swept it under the rug, like it was of little importance...but it was, it always was and if you had let me face the consequences for them then I would have learnt, and then I could have been the man Emily deserved, one that would never have hurt her like this...one she could have loved forever."
"Naive words" Victoria retorted, as he took another big gulp of his alcohol before looking towards her again and asking, "How did she found out, please tell me you didn't make it hard for her...that you..."
"I told her myself" Victoria replied, trying to hide the cruel smile trying to break through on her beautiful aging face.
Daniels eyes widened in horror, and he shook his head in disbelief, "You cruel women" he muttered angrily, "You, I can't even imagine how you softened that blow...you enjoyed it didn't you?" he asked, his voice rising in the anger he felt, "her pain".
"I am no monster" Victoria replied, her voice having rose to match his own, "but what Emily got she deserved. Karma at its finest, she faked pregnancy to fool you into thinking she was bearing a child, and because of that lost her chance of children forever."
"Because of me!" Daniel shouted in disgust for himself and his mother, "she lost that chance because of me. How can you be so callous about such a thing, this is a women who cannot have children anymore, I would think being a women yourself, you would feel some form of empathy for her".
Victoria merely shrugged her shoulders as she took another sip of her fancy tea.
"You should have told me" he repeated, "I should have been the one to tell her, it was my responsibility and only mine! But you just wanted to hurt her even more than she already was"
Victoria laughed sharply, then pierced her eyes through his own and spitefully said, "And you honestly believe you could have told her? For all your talk Daniel about paying for your actions, I personally do not think you could have shouldered not only the guilt but the consequences for your mistakes, and so as your parent, I did what anyone would, I helped you out, and as for Emily, we both know that you would have choked telling her, I mean even after all this, you still have a soft spot for that blonde... so I did it for you."
Daniel glared at his mother in pure disgust, "Well as you can imagine she did not take it well, and it's only added a ton more oil, to the fire she started long before, we'd probably even put up our smoke detectors."
"She knows?" Victoria clarified with a look of pure irritation on her face.
Daniel laughed bitterly, "Knows, she knows everything, and she is angry, and she is hurt and she is not going to make it easy for me!"
"She's a woman scorned, of course she won't make it easy, but that doesn't mean we can't crush her."
"I am not hurting Emily anymore than I already have, and neither are you" Daniel said defensively and resolutely.
"Your self-dignity is naive Daniel, she wants to see you suffer, and she is not going to stop until she can successfully cross you off from her target list".
"I am not hurting her" he repeated again, "I am going back to the hospital tomorrow morning to pick Emily up and when we get back I am going to talk to her... civilly. I am hoping that by having the night to ruminate about all that perspired between us this afternoon, she'll have thought about it and come to the same conclusion that I have, which is that we need to part. I don't expect Emily to forgive me, and I still expect that she'll want to instill some form of punishment onto me, but I am hoping that she'll have at least calmed down and be able to think rationally about what's best."
Victoria just smiled as if she knew something he didn't and was amused by his naiveté, "We'll see" she murmured.
He looked at her and shook his head before firmly saying, "Don't you dare meddle in this Mum, you have done enough...And when she decides my punishment, I am going to take it and I am going to go through with it, without you or anyone else trying to erase or soften the blow... even if it's prison."
"You're foolish" Victoria replied in disdain, sending him a disapproving look.
"You just wouldn't understand" Daniel retorted, a cold tone to his voice, "You need a conscience to and the whereabouts of yours is an ever debating topic?"
Finally got this one out, I know it's been ages, about a whole month actually, but I have honestly been so busy these last few weeks.
Now that the breaks finally here though, I wanted to update, and so I did, giving you guys an extra long chapter in the process , it's about double the size of a normal chapter, so I hope you'll all appreciate it...and Comment its Xmas you have the time and the spirit! =D
On that note, Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays to Everyone, I Hope Everyone Has a Great Winter Break!
... And yes the mid-season Finale, I cried, it was ridiculous how much tears fell from my eyes, I was so upset though, just when hope was finally blooming in my heart.
