A/N: Be happy! I have another update, and it's just in time for the holidays! This one should definitely make you laugh out loud- especially if you thought the last chapter was hilarious. Also, there are going to be flashbacks, and plenty of 'em. Sort of, anyway.

I Love You, I Think

Chapter 9

No. No no no no no no. It can't be true. It just couldn't be true. The facts might have come from a reliable source, but there is nooooo way it could even remotely possibly be true. Yet, if it was impossible, why did the words ring through her head?

Why did her body shake, and her hands sweat? The TV remote fell from her hand, falling face down on the carpet. It changed to another news channel, where the same story flashed before her eyes.

"The popular news channel SESF, or Sasuke's Eternal Stalking Fangirls, has just released a pressing story." the reporter said seriously, somehow managing to show off his unnaturally white teeth. The logo for SESF appeared in the corner of the screen as original footage was replayed. A blond haired girl was talking as pictures and video appeared beside her.

"Yes, well we of SESF have terrible, horrible news. This is far worse then anything predicted in 2012, probably worse then any of the World Wars combined; there is evidence that Sasuke, our beloved stud of a demigod, is g-g-g-g-g-gay!" she shuddered and looked like she wanted to throw up.

"With whom is the object of our obsession gay with? None other then Naruto Uzumaki, nicknamed the Fox Boy. If you look to my left you'll see the proof we have." the girl stayed quiet as the evidence photos and videos came into view.

"I ugh, heard the Fox Boy talking about their love uh, but the Uchiha lad was very hushy, uh, about it. He was mad and yelled at his uh partner for mentioning it." a balding man told the camera nervously, trying to flatten the non existent hair on his hair. There was a video clip of Naruto ripping Sasuke's shirt off in the restaurant, and the scene afterwards when Sasuke tackled Naruto to the ground.

"He was, oh, how do the kids put it, eh, glomping, I believe, the poor boy- in public! The Fox Boy looked traumatized, and after all, he is still a child. I think that Sasuke is too rough with him, considering they just came out of the closet and all." An older women was saying. Another photo appeared of Sasuke and Naruto holding hands before it went back to the male reporter.

"There you have it folks. Both Shinobi were unavailable for comment, but according to research they are the first openly gay couple in Konoha ninja history. Coming up later, a cat learns to sing, can it be true? Catch it here only, on Leaf Time News." the news ended and changed to a commercial for cat food.

Sakura's lip quivered, and her voice caught in her throat. It was all wrong, so, so very wrong. The telephone next to her roared to life, causing the pink haired girl to jump. With a shaky and pale hand she picked up the phone and pressed the 'on' button.

"Sakura, the news, did you see?" it was TenTen, speaking fast.

"Y-Yeah…" Sakura blinked her eyes hard, feeling the burning sensation of tears.

"It's not true. It can't be true!" TenTen sounded shocked, like she was trying to convince herself as much as Sakura.

"TenTen, there's…there's photos!" Sakura burst into tears while TenTen tried to console her. Yesterday exploded in front of her eyes.

"So, if you like Sasuke, then are you going to let me have Neji?" TenTen asked, her eyes hopeful.

"I-I…" Sakura's voice trailed off as she closed her eyes and leaned back. Her fingers tapped the cool surface of the stone bench as she thought long and hard.

"You know, as much as I loved being with Neji, I love the possibility of what can happen between me and Sasuke. Also, I really think you and Neji would make the cutest couple ever!" Sakura finally said, her eyes opening. TenTen squealed with delight and hugged her friend, both of them giggling.

Irony is a cruel, cruel weapon for an author to have.

~x~x~x~x~x~x~x~x~x~x~x~x~x~x~x~x~x~

Naruto sneezed and found himself lying diagonally across his bed, the covers half on the floor. He was looked up at the ceiling, and for a moment he wondered why he felt a knot in his stomach. Then, it hit him.

After eating a bowl of ramen, Hinata announced it was time she got back.

"H-Hiashi will be w-worried if I don't come h-home soon." she twisted her fingers and smiled softly. This was practically a second date, just her and Naruto, and it was perfect.

"Aw, that old Hiashi won't care, will he?" Naruto muttered with his usual oddball grin. They left Ichiraku's and headed towards the Huyga manor. Hinata was giggling at a joke Naruto had already told earlier that day when a red faced Hiashi appeared in their faces.

"How dare you! You come and kidnap my darling Hinata! I nearly called the ANBU black ops on you! And I should have! You're lucky I don't rip off your-" spit flew from the angry man's mouth. Naruto started back, his face showing his intense hate. Hinata looked about ready to cry; her eyes were moist and her lip was quivering.

"Hey, don't talk to me like that!" Naruto snapped.

"I didn't kidnap Hinata. I asked her to go to lunch with me and some friends, and she said yes. And it was really fun having her around!" he added. Hinata gasped, her mouth hanging open. Nobody had ever really stood up for her before.

"Let me tell you now Fox trash, I don't want you hanging around Hinata. She's worth more then the dirty blood flowing in your veins, and I can't risk having a terror like you hurt her. Get lost or I call the Hokage." Hiashi snarled.

"Come, Hinata." Hiashi commanded as he turned and marched inside. Hinata followed helplessly.

'Poor Hinata, having such a rotten dad. If only I would have showed him who's trash! I just wish there's something I could give her to cheer her up…' he pondered on it for a while until a real, not outrageously stupid idea came to mind.

Somehow even Naruto knew that this idea was different from the usual, less then bright ones he normally conceived. With enthusiasm Naruto ran into his kitchen, took a swig of slightly warmed milk and ate the left over ramen from yesterday's breakfast before pulling on some clothes.

Out the door he ran and to the nearest tree. Searching the ground carefully he found what he was looking for. Then it was back to his apartment where he had to find some glue. Naruto worked as fast as he dared, really trying to make his gift look good.

When he was done, there was a lot of glue everywhere, but the gift looked nice nonetheless. Naruto sprinted to Hinata's house and pounded on the door, not caring if Hiashi came and yelled.

"Hey, Hinata, open up!" Naruto yelled. Still nobody came, but a curtain upstairs flickered ever so slightly.

'Guess she's not home…I'll just leave it here, then.' the blond boy sat his gift down on the welcome mat and walked away, wishing he had a bucket of water. There was still a lot of glue left on his hands, and it was getting annoying. He couldn't put his hands behind his head, which left them swinging awkwardly at his side.

"Oy, baka!" a familiar gruff voice growled.

"Huh?" Naruto looked over his shoulder and saw Sasuke stomping towards him, looking beyond mad.

"Hey! What're you so mad for?" Naruto was bumped by a person walking by, and during that process Sasuke reached forward to grab the boy by his collar. Instead their hands collided, the glue holding them fast together.

"Let go!" Sasuke snapped dangerously.

"I can't! It's the glue!" Naruto whined, struggling to get his hand free. People openly whispered and pointed and stared at them. Finally Naruto got the idea to spit on the glue, and much to Sasuke's disgust it worked.

"Why are people staring at us, and acting like a bunch of idiots?" Sasuke huffed. He would rather die a thousand painful deaths then admit it, but he was embarrassed of the public hand holding. It seemed so….gay. Sasuke's nose wrinkled in distain of the thought.

"What? People are staring?" Naruto looked around quizzically.

"You haven't noticed the people whispering and pointing at us all day?" Sasuke raised an eyebrow.

"Not really. I got used to that kind of stuff fourteen years ago." Naruto shrugged as he scratched the edge of his nose. Sasuke didn't reply; he had forgotten that his teammate was always an interesting thing to look at in the Leaf village.

"Wonder why they'd wanna stare at you though? It's not like you're very interesting." Naruto added with a chuckle. Sasuke death glared him and was going to reply until they strolled past a TV store. They heard their names and stopped to stare, mouths open and faces reddening.

~x~x~x~x~x~x~x~x~x~x~x~x~x~x~x~x~x~

Hinata hovered behind the soft lace curtains, tears sliding silently down her paled cheeks. Yesterday had been the worst day of her life. She had been humiliated in front of Naruto, screamed at by her father, and forced to stay locked up inside.

Never before had she felt so miserable, so alone. She stared longingly out the window, hidden behind the off white fabric. Then, she saw him. The mass of spiky blond hair bobbing towards her house, his beautiful cerulean eyes focused on the front door. Her heart pounded in her chest, but Hinata didn't dare move.

She listened carefully to the sounds coming from inside the house. She could hear Hiashi singing in the bathtub, and the scratch of Neji writing on a piece of paper. Neither would notice the forbidden visitor. Her heart froze when Naruto started pounding on the door and shouted her name. Hiashi was still singing, so it seemed safe to assume he couldn't hear.

"Hinata! Open up!" Naruto pounded once more before placing something on the front porch. Hinata wanted dearly to open the door, but she wasn't the type to disobey her father. And Hiashi had said absolutely no Naruto.

"Naruto-kun…" Hinata wiped the last of her tears off her cheeks and waited for her crush to leave. When he did, she ran to the door and picked up what Naruto had left.

"O-Oh!" Hinata gasped. She was holding a pile of sticks glued together to spell out her name in kanji. She walked inside, still staring at the present.

"What's that?" Neji asked as he came towards her. Before she could hide it Neji reached forward and examined the object.

"Uzumaki made this for you?" Neji stated, looking hard at his cousin.

"P-Please don't tell!" Hinata begged, to scared to wonder how Neji knew it was from the blond boy.

"Hinata, I don't know how to tell you this, but…." Neji pulled at his collar uncomfortably. A tiny bit of pity flashed in his eyes.

"What is it, N-Neji?" Hinata asked fearfully.

"Tell me!" she pleaded when Neji hesitated.

"Turn on the news." he advised. Hinata ran to their TV and pushed the power button. Neji stood behind her, and she could hear him sighing. Hinata found a news station, and when she saw the headline she fell backwards in a dead faint. Neji caught her and gently lay her on the couch. Then he picked up the stick gift Naruto had made.

'Humph. I still don't get what she sees in that idiot.' he thought. Sounds could be heard coming from the bathroom; Hiashi was nearly done with his bath. Neji entered Hinata's bedroom and hid Naruto's gift under the covers. Then he left and went back to his room to continue what he had been doing earlier; working on ways to win Sakura's love.

"It should be easier now, since Sasuke's got a thing for men now." Neji said to himself with a slightly smug look on his face.

Neji was happy. Hinata was scared unconscious. Naruto and Sasuke were publicly humiliated beyond belief and accused of being romantically involved with each other. TenTen was sad for her friend, but happy in the thought that she could have Neji. Sakura was crying her eyes out. Everything was out of orbit, and just plain wrong.

Again, Irony is a cruel, cruel weapon for an author to have.

A/N: There you have it, chapter nine. Hope it was good; it took me forever to write this super long chapter! Consider this your Christmas present. All I want in return are reviews, which you all do a good job of anyway. Happy Holidays!