A/N: Chapter 9 is up! Only two chapters left peeps! PLZ ENJOY ;3
Everything became about Ayumi now. Or rather, it felt like everything became pointless. After all of this while I was looking for Ayumi, I knew that I would find her. And then, she just… Naho basically told me that it was all for nothing. I wouldn't get her back anyways. I don't know what was going through me at that moment. Maybe grief… Definitely anger. I was desperate. I know I was desperate. Otherwise, I wouldn't have pleaded for her like that.
«You can't!» I yelled at her. I was practically on my knees, begging her. My pride was the last thing I worried about. All I wanted was to feel the sensation of Ayumi in my arms again. Just one more time…
«I apologize, but my powers cannot be reversed. I can only add,» Naho said. She wasn't sorry. Even if she was, did she really think that an apology was enough. «Naho, please give me a little time! If you have to take her, please let me say goodbye properly! One day, please!» I begged her. But emotionless Naho only looked at me disgustingly. «…Fuck you!» I simply screamed at her and gave her a firm push, falling onto my knees again. I was weakened, and all I could do was continuing to beg.
I need Ayumi… I need her!
«Just one day!»
I felt my eyes widen and I turned my gaze upwards to Naho's face. She was gritting her teeth together in agony while saying: «I'll bring Ayumi back… But only one day. That's it. Just please…» With a gentle power, she took my hands and removed me from the floor with a pained expression. «Don't beg me like that… You're not as disgusting now, since you've showed me how much she means to you.»
I felt my lips shaking as they curled up into a small smile. «Thank you… Thank you…!» I said, my breathing getting as shaky as my lips. «It's not free,» Naho added. Right… I need to pay her somehow. Getting my memories erased is completely out of the question. I don't want to give away a body-part or anything either… Wait, didn't she mention that she doesn't remember her mother earlier?
«Naho, do you… Where's your mother?» I started with. She looked up at me, surprised at my question but she replied firmly: «She passed away 17 years ago, when I was 10. The moment she concieved me, she wanted to get rid of her purpose as soon as possible. When I got old enough, that is.»
Naho's mother… killed herself? Well, only living to tace care of demons isn't really a way to live, is it? But just throwing her life away like that… «Do you still love her, though…?» I asked. Naho shrugged. That's good enough. «I have a picture of her… So if you'd like to remember her, I can pay you with it,» I suggested, scared that she would just laugh at me. I mean, it does seem pretty weird.
Surprisingly though, Naho nodded after a minute of thinking. «That's good enough. Then, meet me tomorrow before sunset at that place,» she planned out without my agreement. That place…? Oh, right. «Okay. Thank you, Naho,» I said gratefully. Naho slowly sat down on her chair and sighed. «If that's all, please get out of my house,» she said, the past coldness thawing. I did as she told me and went home.
…
«Yoshiki!» Mom immediately embraced me powerfully when I showed my face. «Hey… Sorry,» I loosely apologized for earlier. «Oh… I thought you were running away! Don't ever scare me like that!» mom scolded me. This was one of the few times she had actually raised her voice at me. For good reason though. I'd scared the crap out of her.
«Yoshiki, where in the world is Ayumi?!» was the next thing she asked. Oh fuck. I don't want to lie, but… I'll tell her in the most normal way possible. «She's… She's taking farewell with me tomorrow,» I simply said.
Mom's eyes widened in both shock and frustration. «What? She's leaving? Did she possibly…» I nodded. «She can't stay with us anymore and she wished that she properly said goodbye to us…» I said. It wasn't anything Naho had said, but I was definite that Ayumi was thinking that.
«And now, she only wants to say bye to you?» mom asked, looking donwards. «Yeah. It's hard to explain, but that's just how it is,» I said. She sighed and covered her mouth. She must be completely heartbroken. Of course, Ayumi was like a daughter to her too. «Alright… Tell her that she's always welcome to visit,» mom said. She didn't even wait for my reply before she sat down on the couch, covering her eyes, saddened.
…
It had went a while before I ended up in my room after trying to comfort mom the best that I could. I closed the door behind me, and my eyes immediately fell on the music box on my drawer. Last regrets. If I'm going to see Ayumi for the last time tomorrow, I have to make it memorable.
«Pip pip!»
I flinched and looked beneath me, sighing in relief when I saw Pippi violently flapping his wings. «Hey, you…» I cupped his small body with both hands and lifted him up. He's grown so much… He eagerly flapped his wings again. Is he trying to tell me something? All of sudden, Pippi was flying about 4 inches above my hands. Woah!
«Y-You've finally learned how to fly, huh?» I said, stroking him bellow his dark beak. That means… «I'll have to let you fly, then…» I muttered to myself. We can't keep him here forever, I know that. I opened the window in my room, enjoying the fresh breeze that flew in.
«Well… It's been nice having you here, buddy,» I said and lifted him up again. He looked up at the burning sky with his small, black eyes. He wanted to fly and be free, just like most humans. That's why…
I stretched out my arms with Pippi in my hands and let him get used to the wind first. His pure, white wings spread out and he flapped them in a rythmic matter. He's really gonna do it, eh? Gosh, why am I getting emotional…
Feeling his legs gradually float upwards, I stretched my arms out as long as I could and saw Pippi flying out of my palms and outwards to the sky.
«Bye bye… Pippi,» I whispered, wiping away a spawn of sadness from the corner of my eye. I thought that was the only thing that would stream out of my eyes. But when I thought about how both of our new family members had vanished just before my eyes, made me truly realize how incredibly sad I was inside.
I just needed something to trigger all of my disguised tears.
Just like a pair of rivers, tears ran down from my eyes. I was unable to control it and I even fell onto my knees because of how defenseless I felt. I was a man, wasn't I? No, of course I wasn't. I was anything but a man. I may be 20 years old, but I'm still a boy. I may have had a good education, but I'm still a boy. I may have learned what it's really like to fall in love with someone, but I'm still a boy. You wanna know why?
How can I look at that blond bastard in the mirror and call him a man when all he can do about his problems is… cry?
I hate myself for crying. I hate myself for not being able to do anything. But… There really is nothing I can do. There is one thing, and that is to accept it all and forget about Ayumi. Forgetting Ayumi…? No, I can't do that.
All I can do… is to accept the truth.
A/N: So now even Pippi is gone… What will happen next? Find out in the next chapter! UNTIL THEN ;3
