It was the second time he had awoken in this bed, Conan reflected.
The clock only read five in the morning, but he was awake. Streaks of dawn were only just breaking the night sky - soon, it would be day, and he would have to face another day in this body.
Sliding off the bed, he paused only long enough to shove the thin disguise of his glasses on before padding out of the room.
Kaito's mother was up, if the sounds behind the closed bedroom door were any indication. She would soon be out and about, preparing breakfast.
Kaito was still dead to the world, and would be for a while yet. The other teen had always loved sleeping in, though he enjoyed being up as much as sleeping.
Conan softly closed Kaito's door from where he had peeked in, letting his small hands rest against the wood for a moment, before giving himself a small shake. The less he moped around, the more convincing his little lie would be, and convincing was what Conan needed.
He turned away from the door, letting his fingers trail slowly off the wood, before heading down to the kitchen to wait for breakfast.
---
This morning, Conan decided, had gone from bad to worse.
First, being caught up all alone in the kitchen had earned a scolding from both Kaito and his mother each - apparently, "little boys need their sleep". And then he couldn't drink his beloved coffee. Damn.
And now, he was being forced to preform a long, ominous march towards his prison for the next seven hours. Damn the schools in this district for working fast! Now he'd been stuck in primary school for god knew how long.
He kept his gaze on his shoes in a mixture of frustration and nervousness. His memories of elementary school consisted mainly of Ran, bullies, and stupid teachers. Without Ran this time around, the school picture was looking just that much bleaker.
Ran...he wondered if she was worried about him. He'd disappeared so suddenly. They hadn't parted on the best of terms, but...she was still his friend, a best one, who had been by his side for years. He should have really tried talking to her a little more, let her worry a little less...
The teacher halted, tugging on his hand to get him to stop, and Conan had to bite his lip to prevent him from snapping at her - he could stop himself, thank you. She smiled down at him, oblivious, and Conan suddenly knew that this year was going to be hell.
The door slid open, many pairs of eyes found him a suddenly interesting target, and Conan felt himself pale, swallowing slightly.
Really hell.
---
After his amazingly embarrassing introduction - of which he avoided a guided tour around the school by scant centimeters - Conan hunched in his chair, hoping he would disappear and he would never have to deal with first-graders, ever again.
He'd forgotten the almost-painful embarrassment that came from being stood in front of a group of small children and being forced to introduce himself. He didn't think he'd ever prayed so hard for the ability to melt back into the blackboard. He was cursing his name choice even more now - if one was going to be in close contact with small children, one never chose a name that made one sound like a retarded foreigner, or hopeless fanboy, or both. At least he'd given the class their daily amusement - it took the teacher a full five minutes to get them to stop laughing.
He focused on the sheet of paper that had been handed out shortly after he'd been sat down and the class had quieted down. The first question read "What is two plus two?"
Conan groaned, very softly, and laid his head down on the desk. Someone, shoot him now.
---
Freedom!
Conan smiled brightly up at the blue sky. School was finally over, and he was free of the prison that his classroom provided. Seven hours of simplistic math, screaming children, and endless repetition was enough to drive anyone insane. Now, just to go home and hide in his room--
"Conan-kun!!"
...--Before the overly enthusiastic trio of children that he had met accosted him. Damn.
He turned, weak grin on his face - strange, wasn't this the way he had greeted Ran the day this whole mess had started, so long ago? "Um, hi...Nana-chan..."
The blonde girl grinned brightly at him, all bubbles and innocence. Her two shadows were present, a tomboyish girl by the name of Mitsuki who was just as enthusiastic as her friend, and a tallish boy named Takuto, who was quiet and unassuming, obviously dragged around by the duo of feminine terror. Conan would feel sorry for the boy, if he was not in danger of falling into the same position himself.
And for a second, as he watched them standing there, a image of himself, Sonoko, and Ran, as they were when they were seven, flashed across his eyes. Strange, even the hair colors matched...
"Hey, Conan-kun, want to walk home with us? You're new! You need friends! We'll be your friends!" Nana grinned brightly at him, and the image of Sonoko faded away. This girl was far less snobby than the other blonde had been at that age.
He continued smiling weakly at them. "Uh, I-I'm sorry, that's nice, but...I've really gotta get home. Like right now. My...my room is on fire and I've got to deal with it! Bye!!" Blurting out the first excuse that came to mind, Conan turned and bolted for the school gates, leaving three wide-eyed children behind.
Only once he had placed a suitable distance of several blocks did he slow down, coming to a halt and resting against the nearest wall, trying to catch his breath, did the lameness of that excuse catch up with him.
"My room is on fire!?" He swore softly to himself. "Great, now they'll ask tomorrow if my room and my house is all right, and I'll never get rid of them. Good going, Shinichi."
Shaking his head, he stood and continued on his way home. There was nothing he could do about it, now - he'd just have to suffer the consequences. Including the one of still trying to avoid them and their reaches for childish friendship.
He stopped again, head cocked to one side. Why? Why was he so set against becoming their friend? It wasn't like it'd hurt anything but his pride, and he'd just "move away" from them eventually when he returned to his original life.
Move away. Leave them behind. Ran's sad smile. Kaito's worried face.
Ah, that was why.
He'd left too many behind already, like this. He'd hurt too many to add three more to that list. Even if they never knew who he really was, even if they forgot him, he'd still hurt them if he became their friend and then disappeared, just like he'd done to Ran and Kaito. And even he still remembered that pain, so long ago, when Kaito had disappeared from his life.
He wouldn't cause anyone that pain again, not if he could help it. Not even if it meant pushing them away every day so they'd never get close. In the end, it would be better for them.
With a faint sigh, Conan resumed his walk home.
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