Sakura's POV

"Okay," I say, "It was nice of you to drop by." Please don't leave. Please stay.

Deidara walks down the hall, I step out and watch him. Please come back… Deidara steps into the elevator without a second glance at me. I hear a choking sound, as if someone is trying not to cry. Then realize that the sound came from my own mouth. I have a feeling that I won't ever see Deidara again. The thought crushes me and I trudge my way into my apartment, not allowing myself to run down the stairs hoping to beat the elevator and catch him before he leaves. I shut the door and walk into the bathroom and gaze at myself in the mirror, hating what I see. I touch my hand lightly to my upper arm and wince, an invisible bruise throbs beneath the surface of makeup. I take my dress off and look at myself in the mirror and bite my lip, wanting to cry.

There is a large welt on my inner thigh and my thin stomach, bruises from a belt. I turn around and stretch my head back to look at the back of me in the mirror. A bruise the size of a fist is under my shoulder blade. The back of my thighs and right under my butt are claw marks from where Itachi used his nails on me, I don't mind getting kinky but being clawed was not okay with me.

I slip my white dress back on and look at my reflection, hating what I see. I'm a liar. I'm a fake. I'm a pathetic worthless weak women. I don't deserve any better than what I've got. For all the things I've done wrong in my life, for all the ways I know I've hurt Deidara…. I deserve to be with Itachi. Deidara deserves someone so much better than me; someone who will be honest with him, who will cherish him, who won't toy with him, who doesn't deny her own feelings for him. And me? I deserve Itachi.

I go back into the living room and slowly set myself down on the couch, wincing from the sharp pain in my back and slight stinging under my butt. I pick up my book and continue to read. After finding myself rereading the same paragraph five times and still not understanding it, I close the book up. I can't focus, I can't think. I pick up my phone and dial Deidara's number, but I don't tap the screen for it to call him. I just stare at the number. After five minutes of staring I put the phone down and pick up the book again, attempting to read. An hour passes and I've only read twenty pages. I pick up my phone and check my calling history, I scroll and scroll, looking for Deidara's number. It's not in there Baka, you deleted his contact and any calling history long ago. Right…. I put the phone down and turn on the flat screen TV, looking for something to watch. I watch ten minutes of a sappy love movie then flip to something else. The show about angels and demons distracts me momentarily until I pick up my phone again. I stare at the dial pad, my thumb above the nine, the first digit in Deidara's number. Toss the phone away, praying that the screen doesn't crack as it lands on the floor. I'm engaged to Itachi, I'm living with Itachi, and I'm in love with Itachi. I shouldn't be thinking about anyone else.

6:00pm and the door clicks open. Itachi walks in dressed in his work outfit, a fancy business suit that compliments him nicely. His tie hangs loosely around his neck undone and his white button down shirt opened down three buttons.

"Hi honey," I welcome him.

Itachi makes no acknowledgment of my greeting except for the wave of his hand as he shuts the door and makes his way over to the bathroom, slamming the door behind him. I jump from the loud slam that echoes throughout the apartment. Itachi is already upset about something; I need to try my best not to make it worse. After ten minutes Itachi comes out of the bathroom, clean shaven and his shit fully buttoned.

"What are you wearing?"

"It's a, uhm, dress Itachi," I reply, trying to sound happy, "You told me you wanted me to wear a dress when you get home from work because we were going to go out together. So... I am."

"Take it off," Itachi commands.

"What?"

"Take. It. Off." Itachi repeats, more force in his voice.

"But I... thought you would like it."

"I do like it," he growls, coming over to me until he is inches from my face, "Only I can see you dressed like that. Put on something different. I don't want all the vultures staring at my girl."

I blush, "This is the loosest fitting dress I own Itachi. I don't know what else you want me to change into."

Itachi slams his hand into my head and grips a fist full of my hair, "I told you to change bitch. Is that so hard to understand? I don't want anyone's grubby eyes on you. Now come on!" Itachi begins to lead me to our bedroom by my hair.

"Owe, owe, owe, owe! Itachi!" I try to push his hand away and struggle not to follow. Itachi pulls me down to the ground by my hair, my knees slam against the hard wood floor.

"If you would have just changed when I told you to then this wouldn't hurt right now! But no, you had to go and question me and make things harder." My eyes begin to water from the strain on my head, I wince.

"Itachi please!" I beg him desperately, "I worked so hard on my hair to look nice for you. If you keep pulling on it you'll ruin it for our date."

"Oh our date is more important than what I think of your clothing? Sakura, our date is already ruined and it's your fault."

"If you would just be a little kinder then our date wouldn't be ruined!"

SMACK

My face is thrown to the side from the impact of his hand, my head burning from the strain on my hair.

"Don't EVER talk to me like that again bitch." I hold my throbbing cheek as tears begin to form in my eyes. I wish I was going on a date with Deidara. "Apologize."

"I... I'm sorry," I force myself to mumble out.

"Not good enough," he snaps. "I'm so sorry Itachi. I won't question what you tell me ever again."

"Hmph... I want you to show me how sorry you are." I begin to shiver, his tone of voice sending waves of fear into me.

"How would you like me to show you ," I ask, trying to not let my voice crack as I speak shakily.

"Suck me." I try to stand up but Itachi's hand on my head slams me back down.

"I... I don't want to do that right now Itachi. I just want to change and go have a wonderful date with you. Baby please."

"We're not going on a date tonight Sakura. You ruined that for us. Now do what I told you to. Then I'll forgive you."

I bite down on my lip as I reach my trembling hands up to his suit pant's zipper. I pull down the zipper slowly, waiting for him to pick me off the floor and tell me it's okay and that we can do something fun. But he doesn't. Itachi doesn't stop me at all as I obey his command. He doesn't tell me that it's okay and that I've done enough. Instead Itachi demands more from me and yanks my head back and forth by a tight pull on my hair. Finally I get him to climax, he pulls out of my mouth and it spurts all over my face, I close my eyes as some drips down my eye brow.

"Aaahhhhhmmm... Gods Sakura. You are so good at that." I nod sheepishly, keeping my one eye closed and not moving in case he doesn't want me to.

"Alright," Itachi speaks gently, "I forgive you."

I sigh out as Itachi gently pulls me up. His face is soft, complimenting his features. "Go clean yourself up and change. Then make dinner for us babe." And with that Itachi lets me go as he walks over the couch. I slowly walk to the bathroom and shut the door. The moment I hear the door click shut, the tears pour down my cheeks.

How could he do that? How could he not care about what I was feeling and what I was comfortable with? How could he just demand more from me when I was already doing more than I wanted? How could he antagonize me like that? And all over a stupid dress that he told me to wear? How could he do that to me?

I run the cold water and wash my face of him. I wash off my makeup too, no longer needing it. Besides, it might bother Itachi. I keep the makeup on my arms though, knowing that if they show I will simply become upset by Itachi's lack of acknowledgment of the bruises. I wipe my face with a hand towel and walk out just to walk into my shared bedroom with Itachi. I take off the dress and fling it somewhere in the room, I won't be wearing it again. I pull a pair of sweat pants out of my dresser and a baggy shit. Itachi never has a problem when I dress this way. It's safe to dress like I'm not trying to look nice for anyone, even him. I walk out and begin to cook pasta for dinner. The red sauce smells heavenly as the water boils for the noodles.

"I hate spaghetti," Itachi says from the kitchen doorway.

"It will be delicious," I promise him, not wanting to waist what I've already begun to cook.

"Last time you made spaghetti you burned the noodles," he comments.

Last time I made spaghetti you insisted on yelling at me about how I'm not doing enough house work and I was not allowed to check the noodles until after you were satisfied with yelling at me, I think but I don't say that. Instead I turn the sauce off and begin to scrape it into the garbage. I feel a hard pound in my back and I drop to the floor, landing in splattering spaghetti sauce.

"What the hell do you think you're doing? You're wasting that food! I worked for the money to buy you high quality sauce and this is what you do with it? Throw it out? Why are you so stupid women!?" A foot slams into my stomach and I close my body around, sheltering my stomach. I cough up blood.

"Just lay there you useless bitch. I'll order pizza. I'm certain that will taste better than your lousy cooking anyways." I hear Itachi's footsteps leave the kitchen and I try to regain air. I slowly begin to sit up on my hands and knees, my whole body aching. I say nothing as I clean up the red mess all over the tile floor and spattered on the cupboards. Once done, I do the dishes and put them away then proceed to clean the whole kitchen. There's a knock on the door and I hear Itachi pay for the pizza. I finish the last wipe down of the fridge door and silently make my way to our room, shutting the door. I crawl into my side of the bed and stare out at the setting sun.

Deidara was right. He was so right. I should have listened to him. I've been lying to myself for so long... what kind of man beats his fiancé just because of clothes she was wearing or a waste of food? What kind of man kicks his fiancé and gives her a bloody nose? What kind of man gives his fiancé a black eye because they got into a fight? Is that the kind of man I really want to marry? Is that the kind of man I want to spend the rest of my life with? Is that the kind of man I want to have children with? What if he hits our kids because they didn't listen? Kids aren't supposed to listen, they're kids, they're supposed to get into all kinds of trouble and drive you insane but you love them anyways.

A tear escapes my eye and slides down my temple, melting into my pillow. I almost had a child with him... my poor baby... only a few months old in the womb. We were so happy then, buying all kinds of baby furniture. We got all sorts of clothes for our little girl. The room next to ours was going to be the nursery. We were even painting it yellow as we got more baby toys and clothes and furniture. We had a stock pile of diapers and wipes.

Then six months into the pregnancy something went wrong... something went horribly wrong... we were out walking through the park. It was a beautiful spring afternoon. I felt a kick in my stomach and i had urgently placed Itachi's hand on the area. Then I felt a pain, the most horrible pain in my lower stomach. A woman nearby screamed in panic and I looked down at my feet. My white skirt was stained with red and clear liquid. Around my feet was a pool of water and blood. I felt the liquids streaming down my legs from my vagina. I began to cry as Itachi called for an ambulance.

The pains continued and I couldn't walk when the ambulance arrived as close as it could to our location. Itachi had picked me up bridal style and ran with me in his arms as I screamed out in pain. They rushed me to the hospital but it was too late. I cried my heart out and yelled in agony as I felt and saw a deformed arm come out of me, followed by a sickly head and a tiny arm, then two tiny legs and feet. I whaled and yelled at the ambulance nurses to save her, we reached the hospital and I screamed at the doctors to save her, but none of them listened to me. All of them had the same pained expression on their faces as they took care of me and led me to a different room than my baby boy.

They did all kinds of testing on my and tried to tell me that I was going to be okay. No one understood that I didn't care if I was going to be okay or not, all that mattered was if my precious daughter was going to be okay but none of them answered my pleading questions. Finally after what seemed like hours, a doctor came in and told me that he was horribly sorry for the news he was about to tell me.

I knew before he said any more but I wouldn't admit it. I screamed at him that he was still alive and I demanded to see him. Itachi had to push me down on my bed because I almost fainted trying to get up and follow the doctor out of my room. Itachi yelled into my face that he was dead, tears streaming down his eyes.

From that day on, nothing was the same anymore.


"What are you thinking about," Itachi whispers as he snuggles up behind me. His voice is light and curious, like he hadn't just beaten me down and kicked me only a few hours ago.

"Nothing," I mumble to him in what I hope is my best sleepy voice.

"Hm," is the response I get as a hand wraps around my waist, pulling me closer into him.

"You know I love you, right babe? And I would be nothing without you," Itachi tells me.

I don't respond.

"Do you love me too?"

"Yes," I whisper to him, "I love you too." But I'm not so sure about that anymore.


Hello everyone! We've learned what happened that first made everything change inside Itachi! If you hadn't guessed, I had been foreshadowing this throughout the whole story. First when Deidara saw the picture of Sakura a few months pregnant in the second chapter, then again with lines like 'everything changed a few months ago' 'he's just been depressed' 'they started having problems a couple months ago'. Then again when Deidara was walking with Sasori and he stopped and looked at the children playing double dutch. And also the chapter where Itachi proposed to Sakura, I basically told you what happened at the end with Sakura saying that it was the most romantic night she had with Itachi since her miscarriage. I've also been foreshadowing other events to come *wink*. Comment some guesses you think about what will happen and I'll tell you if you're right or not *grins*. Thank you for reading my story and be sure to leave me a review! I love you all.

Song for chapter~ I dont think I love you anymore by Hoobstank

NOTICE!~~ School is starting soon so my updating may become more spaced out. Please forgive me for that. But I am continuing the story. I have a little more pain that I'm going to put Sakura through (I feel bad... I'm so mean to her), and a little more character development of Deidara and then things will get very dramatic. This first story will likely be finished in less than five chapters. THEN comes the sequel *happy smile* so stay with me!

Also, I LLLOOOOOOVVVEEEEEE the multiple reviews. Thank you so much! Reviews are food for my writer's motivation. FEED ME MORE! Nam Nam Nam