Sorry for how long it's taken me to update - my attention is currently split between two different fandoms. But we are getting to the meat of the story and hopefully the next chapter won't take quite so long...
Just a few notes on the last chapter (if anyone remembers it lol):
1 - I originally had a completely different background worked out for Freddie but iFence killed it with him having Marisa's last name; that was my revision following canon
2 - Regarding Pam's last name, I had picked Plimpton for various reasons a) the joke, obviously b) I imagined Sam's not so distant ancestors could have been Brits who fled to America to avoid the law c) it amused me to think of that classless family of criminals having a somewhat snooty-sounding last name. It was just all in good fun :)
I also want to thank you guys for the reviews, subscriptions, etc. It's nice to know your thoughts and that people are enjoying the story.
I have a Seddie follow-up/episode tag to iPsycho sitting on my hard drive that I'm planning on posting before the sequel airs, so if anyone knows when that's going to be please let me know (I don't get it right away and I don't want to miss the airdate because then I won't post it).
Thanks! And enjoy :)
"Anybody want anything?" Freddie offered as he headed into the kitchen.
Sam impatiently flipped the remote while she waited for Spencer to load the DVD. "WAHOO PUNCH!"
The shout in his ear made Spencer jerk spastically, sending the 'Galaxy Wars' disc flying across the room. "You did that on purpose!" he hissed at her over his shoulder.
"Nope…" she grinned from her spot on the couch, "but if it's broken I'm totally taking credit..." Without Carly she'd been outvoted on movie choice. She'd invoked veto power (on the grounds that she could make their night a living hell) but they'd given her the synchronized puppy and she'd caved. Stupid pitiful gravy-colored eyes…
"You know I have a copy too, right?" Coming back into the living room Freddie handed Sam her glass with a teasing smirk. "Just for that we should make you watch the super-duper special extended director's cut. Five hours of intergalactic battles and inter-species diplomacy for your entert…"
Sam killed his obvious enjoyment with a swift kick to his shin. The nub really shouldn't be testing his luck. Or her generosity; she was still upset things had gotten so… mushy... earlier.
OW! Shooting her a wounded look Freddie hissed, "Uncalled for!"
"You breathing is uncalled for!" she shot back automatically. Something else to blame the boy for: the downward spiral in the quality of her insults. He really was ruining her.
Getting up to retrieve the wayward DVD Spencer shook a finger at them. "Behave or I'll send you both home…" It was an empty threat: Socko was out of town for the weekend so they were his Saturday night peeps by default. He had a funny feeling that made him pathetic…
Freddie dropped into the armchair and, glaring at Sam, crossed his legs so he could rub his throbbing shin. He got that the rules were different when they weren't alone (not that he'd ever gotten the memo with either set of rules) but it was like their entire afternoon had never happened. Just when he thought things had changed between them she went and reminded him they were painfully the same. Literally.
Ugh. Either he was just fishing for sympathy or she'd kicked harder than she'd meant to. Making sure Spencer's back was to them (and mentally cursing herself for being so easily manipulated) Sam reached over and pushed his hand out of the way to massage it for him. It was as close to an apology as he was getting so he'd damn well better appreciate it.
Pain forgotten, Freddie quickly covered her hand with his own. It didn't last long – she pulled away as soon as Spencer got the disc into the player – but it was something. Baby steps…
For a split second Sam had considered not taking her hand back, Spencer be damned, and it only proved more than ever that it had to end tonight; her resistance was getting too fickle (him too close) for it not to. Burying the dread (she wouldn't let herself recognize it as disappointment) she forced a mischievous wink at him before shifting her attention to the previews. At least the inanity of the movie would keep her distracted until she could follow through. Let the mocking begin…
Spencer turned off the lights and took his seat opposite Sam on the couch, then looked over to find Freddie with a stupid grin on his face. It really was sad how happy this movie made them… With a stupid grin of his own he sat back to enjoy the show.
They were just over halfway through (with a half-dozen threats of muzzling made at Sam for her running MST3K-esque commentary) when the door opened unexpectedly and Carly shuffled in. Glancing at the DVR Freddie saw it was only ten o'clock.
Carly switched on the lights and tossed her coat on the rack. Turning around she found three sets of curious eyes on her and, not wanting to explain, bypassed them to make her way up to her bedroom.
Freddie exchanged worried looks with Sam and Spencer; the date obviously hadn't gone very well.
"I got this." Sam stood, tossing the remote into Freddie's lap. "She probably just needs someone to offer to beat the scuzz-bag up…" She needed a break anyway – continuously finding things to ridicule was exhausting. Not hard, just exhausting.
"I can offer to beat him up…" Spencer pouted. It was his little sister, after all.
Sam looked Spencer up and down appraisingly. "She needs someone to believingly offer to beat him up, Spence…"
"Hey! It's not my fault there are laws against adults hitting minors…" He'd broken a lot of laws in his day, usually unintentionally, but that one was a little more serious than the 'public nuisance' misdemeanors he regularly got slapped with.
"Is it your fault you fight like a little girl?" Sam countered, eyebrow raised.
It was on the tip of Spencer's tongue to deny it… "Yes," he admitted, head hung in shame.
Sam nodded in satisfaction, point sufficiently (and embarrassingly) made.
Freddie grabbed her wrist before she could walk away. "What are you going to do if Carly decides to take you up on it?" It was an outside chance but…
Who did he think he was talking to? Reclaiming her hand Sam lightly thumped his forehead. "I'm going to invite him to play Parcheesi, Freddie…" With a roll of her eyes she headed upstairs to check on her best friend.
"Parcheesi," Spencer giggled.
Freddie's eyebrow rose. "You know what Parcheesi is?"
"No idea," Spencer shook his head, "but it's so cool to say! PARcheeseEE…"
Pausing the film Freddie moved to sit on the couch. "Hey, Spence?"
Spencer stopped mid-rolling 'R.' "S'up Freddo?" Parrrrrrr-cheesy. It even sounded funny in his head.
"Can I ask you something?" Freddie needed a man's perspective; Spencer's would have to do. If only he could keep his attention…
Parcheesi (momentarily) forgotten Spencer cautiously invited, "Sure..." He hoped it didn't have anything to do with Carly; he tried to stay out of their unrequited love teen melodrama best he could.
"You have to promise not to tell anyone." Freddie looked Spencer in the eye. "Not Carly, or Sam…"
"Can I tell Socko?" Spencer interrupted. He had to be able to tell someone.
"If Sam got hold of him could he keep it a secret?" Freddie couldn't have her finding out until he figured out what, if anything, he was going to do.
"Dude, if that's your condition you shouldn't be telling me." Spencer wasn't ashamed to admit Sam scared him. She was like a domesticated wildcat: tame and lovable until you withheld its food, at which point you became its food. Or something. That's what he was going to get her for Christmas: a really big ball of string…
Weighing the risks Freddie accepted he had no choice, whispering, "I think I like Sam."
Huh? "Please rephrase in the form of a question," Spencer instructed in his best Alex Trebek voice. Shooting an anxious glance toward the stairs he turned back to Freddie and hissed, "Or in non-crazy talk!"
Freddie had barely opened his mouth to defend himself when Spencer pinched him. "What was that for?" he yelped.
Spencer looked at him wide-eyed. "I'm checking to see if you're dreaming."
"You're supposed to pinch yourself!" Freddie rubbed his arm; he sure was taking a beating tonight.
"How does pinching myself tell me if you're dreaming?" Duh.
"Neither of us are dreaming, Spencer!" Freddie would have clarified the whole process if it wouldn't have taken more time than they had. As it was he was keeping one ear trained on the stairs.
"Are you on drugs?" Spencer asked suspiciously.
"No!"
"Did you hit your head? Are you feverish? Should I call your mom?"
"Spencer!" Freddie knocked away the hand that was trying to feel his forehead. "Don't you think you're overreacting just a little?" You'd think he'd just announced he was giving up all tech and moving underground, for God's sake.
"This is a new iCarly segment: 'Gullible Spencer,' right?" He looked around the room for a not-so-hidden hidden camera.
Freddie grabbed Spencer's chin and forced him to meet his eyes. "There's. No. Camera!"
Spencer blinked. "You're serious…"
"Is it that hard to believe?" Freddie decided he would have been better off talking to Principal Franklin. Or his mom.
"Yes!" Jumping up Spencer started pacing. "I mean, you've been in love with Carly since you met her…"
Debating his feelings for Carly wasn't exactly high on Freddie's list of priorities at the moment so he waved it away. "And look where that's gotten me…"
"And you should move on, absolutely." Spencer took a deep breath and tried to unconfuse his thoughts. "But with Sam?"
"Why not?" Freddie was insulted on her behalf. "She has her faults but she's Sam. Unpredictable and witty and irreverent…"
"And clever and creative and fun," Spencer cut in. "I'm not saying she's a bad choice, Fred-man. Heck, if she was 10 years older I'd…"
Freddie death-glared Spencer until he took notice and ceased talking. "Do you have a point?"
"My point?" Resuming pacing Spencer tried to remember what his point was before he got distracted. He clapped his hands together when it came to him. "Sam is awesome but she's not your type."
"What's that supposed to mean?" He wasn't aware he had a type, or that 'awesome' couldn't be it. Suddenly he was insulted on his own behalf.
Spencer raised an eyebrow. "You like the good girls; all polite and kind…" For example, "You love Carly, right? Her and Sam are nothing alike."
Shaking his head Freddie argued, "One example does not a 'type' make."
"Okay, um…" Spencer considered it. "Valerie! She was shy and sweet. Well, until she turned into a traitorous skunk-bag…" Then he was hit with a thought that made him shudder: "And Melanie is like Carly in Sam's body..."
"Valerie doesn't count; she asked me out." Well, technically Carly had asked Valerie out for him but the result was the same – he hadn't been about to say no to the first girl that showed interest in him. "And I only went out with Melanie because I thought she was Sam."
But Spencer wasn't listening; he'd discovered something interesting. "Then there was your thing for Shelb-y Marx, and your ill-fated date with Lesl-ie…"
Sighing, Freddie put his head in his hands. He would just have to ride out Spencer's tangent.
"Heck, her name doesn't even fit the rhyme scheme!"
Freddie could have disproved the theory by bringing up Sabrina or Malika but he'd been forbidden to ever speak the former's name again and the less said about the 'magical' dance from hell the better.
Spencer looked off into space. "I guess you could call her Sammy but that would probably be the last thing you called her…"
The thought of anyone calling her 'Sammy' made Freddie cringe, promise of imminent death or not. "Shelby was just a celebrity crush and you emotionally blackmailed me into dating Leslie." He snapped his fingers to get Spencer's attention back. "You still only have Carly."
Spencer sat back down and gave Freddie a sympathetic pat. "You have a depressing lack of relationship experience…"
"Thanks for the reminder," Freddie muttered. Good thing he hadn't come to Spencer for a pep talk.
"Sorry, Bud." Spencer refocused on the issue at hand. "But why the sudden feelings for Sam? You guys have been…" He shot a quick glance at the stairs and rephrased, "…knowing each other for years." He was probably safe from Sam's usual punishment for anyone with the audacity to call them friends but wasn't willing to test it. Besides, most of the time he wasn't sure they were friends. He'd asked the Magic Meatball once but all he'd gotten was 'Reply hazy, ask again.' If the Meatball didn't know…
Freddie knew why Spencer had suddenly switched tracks so he ignored how he'd made it sound. "We may have known each other for years but she's always kept me at arms length. It's like all of the torture was to keep me from getting too close." He'd spent a lot of time thinking about it, especially since he'd found out how calculating she was about everything.
Spencer sat back and gave Freddie a skeptical look. "Why would she do that?" He thought the poor boy was in denial but refrained from saying so.
"Why does Sam do anything?" Freddie sighed. He didn't know himself, and he couldn't very well tell Spencer it was different now because he was trading sex for information; it sounded kinda sordid when put that way… "But she's finally letting me in. We've been spending a lot of time together what with the website and Carly being busy and she's actually been… not vicious." She was being the opposite of vicious but that was another thing he couldn't tell Spencer.
And now it made sense. Spencer ruffled Freddie's hair with a teasing, "You're Sam's substitute girlfriend…"
Smacking his hand away Freddie groaned, "Spencer! Concentrate!" It was like trying to get water from a stone…
"On what?" Spencer huffed, "You never asked your question!"
Okay, he had him there. But, "That's 'cause you were too busy playing 'Let's dissect Freddie's romantic history!'"
Before he could stop himself Spencer joked, "Or lack of it?" At Freddie's glare he got serious. "Sorry. Ask away…"
Freddie took a deep breath. "Do you think I should tell her?"
Oh. Spencer shook his head gravely. "No."
"No?"
"H-E-Double Hockey Sticks no?"
"Spencer! Can you try to be helpful?"
"Sorry."
Sighing, Freddie leaned back and stared at the ceiling. "Is it that bad an idea?"
Worst idea in the history of ideas. Spencer gestured to Freddie's thumbs even though the boy wasn't looking. "Sam has been known to become violent at unwanted advances…"
As far as Freddie knew they weren't unwanted – she didn't seem to have any issues making out with him – but he didn't know that wasn't all it was for her. "You don't think she could like me?"
"You're not even sure you like her," Spencer pointed out, trying to spare his feelings. "No reason to open that can of worms unless you know you want to go fishing." Realizing what he'd said he shook his head, eyes wild. "Don't tell Sam I compared her to a fish – I think she's still a little sore about my tuna sculpture…"
Freddie nodded distractedly. It wasn't really the advice he'd been looking for but maybe Spencer was right; Sam wasn't exactly letting him in out of the kindness of her heart. The sound of the girls' footsteps on the stairs had him frantically miming at the older man to play along. "And when Nug-Nug gives that speech to the Andarian council? Gets me every time…"
Sam glared at them from the landing. Here she was averting a Carly crisis of epic proportions and they were geeking out?
Catching on Spencer nodded vigorously. "I know! And when…" He pretended to suddenly see them. "Oh, hey kiddos!"
"Move, Nub," Sam told Freddie as she led Carly to the couch.
"ROWR!" Spencer hissed, including a clawing motion for authenticity. When everyone just looked at him blankly he realized the wildcat thing had been in his head. "Never mind," he muttered, disappointed his cleverness would go unappreciated.
Freddie went back to the chair and let out the breath he'd been holding. Either Sam hadn't heard anything (mercifully) or she was saving it for when they were alone (God help him); no point worrying about it now.
Retaking her seat Sam pulled Carly down between her and Spencer, the brunette's head immediately falling to her shoulder. Poor kid.
"Do you want to watch something else?" Spencer offered, frowning at the sadness on his sister's face. She wasn't the biggest 'Galaxy Wars' fan. Less than Sam, even.
Carly shook her head without lifting it; no need to ruin their night, too. "Could you get me some lemonade, though?"
Petting her hair Spencer got up to do as she asked. "Anything for my little sis…"
"You didn't have to pause it," Sam informed Freddie with a wave at the screen, her tone more accusatory than appreciative. She'd expected (hoped) the movie would be mostly done by the time she got back…
Uh… "I wanted to," he covered quickly. Her suspicious eyebrow told him it was too quickly and, thinking fast, he added with a smirk, "Why should you be denied the pleasure just because you're a good friend?"
Sam narrowed her eyes but let it go. It wasn't unlike something she'd do…
On his way back with Carly's drink Spencer turned off the lights and gestured to Freddie to restart the movie. Now that he could watch it (Sam had thankfully fallen silent) he barely did, instead splitting his time between checking on his sister and sneaking glances at Sam to see if he could somehow decipher how she felt about Freddie. By the closing credits his eyes were drooping from the effort.
"Thank God," Sam groaned, and not only because the movie was over; Carly had fallen asleep wrapped around her arm almost instantly and the blood was most definitely not flowing. "Spence, a little help here?"
"Mmmm."
Turning to Freddie she tilted her head in Spencer's direction. "Think you can wake Sleeping Beauty? I'm kinda lacking in mobility…"
Freddie got up and nudged Spencer. When the elder Shay's eyes opened he whispered, "You need to put Carly to bed."
Spencer stood and stretched before bending to scoop up his sister.
"Ow. Arm. Arm. ARM." It took a lot of talent to yell while whispering but Sam did it, finally managing to untangle herself while standing. Shaking her arm to regain feeling she watched as Spencer disappeared up the stairs with his package. "We still on for tonight?"
"Spencer won't know what hit him," Freddie smiled as he went to turn on the light.
Neither will you… If Sam had her way (and she would) there wouldn't be any 'Wake up Spencer' at all…
Spencer came back down the stairs, half-asleep. "You guys heading home?"
Sam shook her head. "I've got to watch another movie to get the geek out of my brain." And put her plan into motion…
Paranoia kicked in. "You are going to go home though, right?" Lately she only slept over for 'Wake up Spencer,' and 'Wake up Spencer' always meant strange dreams. And while Spencer was generally a big fan of strange he'd already had more than enough of it for one night.
"Of course," Sam assured him. Eventually.
"I'm gonna keep her company," Freddie readily volunteered. Considering their conversation earlier it was the perfect cover.
Spencer wasn't surprised but he was worried his advice had gone in one ear and out the other. Giving Freddie a 'remember what I said' look he shuffled off to his room. "Okay. Night…"
"Night..."
As soon as Spencer's door closed Sam turned to Freddie with narrowed eyes and arms folded across her chest. "Care to tell me what that was about?"
Freddie's smile died a quick death. Crap.
