Author's Note: Thanks to my amazingly wonderful and awe-inspiring beta, LiveBreatheVampires, I can put out another chapter with a smile on my face! Her stories are incredible and well worth the time! I love her so much!
I hope you enjoy and please read warnings as always! The farther we get, the more important it is that you read them!
*Warning: Controversial, underage relationship, dark themes
Elena could not hold her weary eyes open any longer, her body still draped on his. Her muscles were completely relaxed and her lips still stung from the kiss earlier that night. Her index and middle finger gently felt her swollen mouth and she smiled just thinking about the precious moment. It had been the most incredible night of her life and although she wanted it to last forever, the long trip had exhausted her.
She finally allowed her eyes to seal, breathing in his scent one last time. Her cheek rested on his shoulder, their arms wrapped around each other. Damon soon realized she was sound asleep, and he stroked her hair gently. Her warm breath could be felt through his cotton shirt and he knew it was time for bed. She was already wrapped around his body, making it easy for him to rise from the sofa with her in his arms. The steps to the upstairs were taken with care, Damon making sure not to wake his angel.
The vampire was still hesitant about his choices regarding Elena. The kiss still did not feel appropriate to him and he feared the consequences of his decision. He knew he had feelings for her, but she was just too young, wasn't she? He carried her into the second bedroom, knowing it was too soon for her to sleep in the same bed. She needed time to know herself, time to contemplate her choices. He set her down on the mattress with ease before tucking her beneath the sheets.
"Goodnight, Elena," He whispered.
He walked quietly to the room across the hall, sighing when he shut the door behind him. The kiss had given him chills down his spine and he couldn't deny that it left him wanting more. He just needed proof that it was okay to love her, even when there was no one around to judge them. But how could it be okay? She was just too young.
Almost a month had passed and they had only grown closer. Elena helped out more, assisting Damon with all the meal preparation. Though the vampire would devour a blood bag with his meal, Elena barely noticed anymore. She wasn't afraid of him. The so-called monster was her best friend, her guardian, her reason for living. Damon was taking things extremely slow with her, however. He wanted to believe that their relationship was morally right, but was it?
He never hesitated to kiss her every time her doe eyes bore into his own. He never yelled at her when she wore clothes that showed her battered skin, even though he couldn't bear to look at her body without feeling guilt. She was innocence personified-She didn't know anything at all about this world, about men. All she knew was what Klaus taught her-That women were to be seen as animals or toys. She hated her body and she always thought that the only thing it was good for was to please men. That made Damon care about her even more, however he feared the consequences of it all. Caring was one thing, but loving someone the way he did Elena came with unforeseen complications, especially for a vampire on the run. He waited every day, wondering when they would finally rip her from his arms. Every moment he spent with her was treated as if it were her last.
After a while, though, he finally relaxed. It had been a month since they had fled and they were completely safe. His fears died down, and with that came passion. He could finally love her...and he did. That same night, Damon combed his fingers through her silky hair on her bed. It had become a ritual of sorts, each night Damon braiding her hair before tucking her in. Elena had never once brought up the fact that they were sleeping in separate rooms and Damon almost felt relieved by it. All that mattered was that she felt safe at night, and somehow she did in her room.
"Are you finally going to teach me to braid?" She asked softly as he stroked her locks to one side.
"Sure," He smiled.
He smoothed out her hair one last time with his hands before splitting it into three sections. He was gentle in his actions, making sure to never inflict pain. He was always scared of hurting her-He didn't want to put another bruise on her or make her afraid of him.
"Separate the hair into three pieces first. You want to take one of the outer pieces and fold it over the middle section. Then, go to the other outer piece and fold that one over the middle section."
He talked her through each step carefully, taking his time in smoothing out the sections before incorporating them into the braid. Her hair was long and his movements became rhythmic as he made his way down the length. A sudden feeling of warmth overcame him and he felt a need to touch her. He leant forward, holding the three sections taut in his grip. His nose migrated to the column of her neck where he took a deep breath. He loved her scent and the action only caused Elena to erupt into an uncontrollable laughter. He lightly pressed his lips against her warm skin, feeling her pulsating artery. It did not phase him in the slightest and he began to softly knead her flesh with his plump lips, sucking it playfully.
"You are so beautiful," He mumbled between kisses, moving his mouth to the corner of her jaw bone.
His hands were still holding the strands, restraining Elena's head from movement of any kind. She didn't mind it at all, loving the way every nerve lit up at his touch. Every touch of his mouth was so gentle, so tender. There was no greed or selfishness in any of it, just pure love. The last spot his mouth touched was the cartilage of her ear, which he lightly rubbed between his lips.
He pulled away ever so slowly, bringing his attention back to the unfinished braid. He continued it as if nothing had happened, tying it off when he had finally reached the bottom. He rose from the bed, allowing her to lay out on the mattress. He smiled at her when she looked at him, reaching his hands out for the sheets. She rested her head on the pillow with a small grin, anticipating his touch once again.
"Goodnight, Elena," He told her, pulling the covers over her skinny frame.
"I love you, Damon," She smiled, staring directly into his baby blues.
"I love you," He reciprocated casually as always.
"No, I love love you. This is a different love, I know it is. I love you in that way," She mused.
No words even needed to be said before his lips collided with hers in the most gentle and innocent way possible. Their lids were sealed and all that could be felt was the amazing chemistry flowing between their mouths. He gently massaged her lips, Elena barely having to move hers. She loved how patient he was with her, never condescending or judging. She struggled to master kissing someone in that way, fearing she was doing it all wrong. He felt her hesitation and he momentarily pulled back.
"It's okay, Elena. I'll guide you," He whispered, pressing his lips back to hers.
She began to relax at his words. Since their first kiss, they had only done short and sweet kisses on the lips, nothing this intoxicating and amazing. Luckily, Damon did not ridicule her lack of knowledge, understanding how foreign love was to her. He continued to coax her lips to move with his and no matter how frustrated she got, she refused to do what Klaus had always taught her; to give up and succumb to defeat. The defeat that had come almost every night with Klaus.
He smiled against her lips and let out a long sigh, savoring the moment. He lightly kissed her forehead before finally turning out the light. He walked out of her room solemnly before retiring to his own. His mind was completely consumed by her, and he struggled to sleep that night.
The night passed hour by hour, but the vampire could not find rest. Instead, he stared at the ceiling, thinking about what the future held for them. How long could they hide? How long until they would grow sick of being stuck in that house? What did the future hold for Elena and could he ever bear to let her go? He closed his eyes in an attempt to escape his anxiety, listening to the pounding of the rain on the roof, the rustling of the trees, and the periodic clashes of the thunder.
To his surprise, he heard his doorknob rattle, the door opening slowly moments later. The footsteps were light and grew louder as the person approached his bed. He held his breath, not moving an inch from where he laid. A bolt of lightning outside momentarily illuminated the room followed by a loud crash that caused the girl to jump. He saw her frightened expression and he immediately sat up.
"Elena," He breathed.
"I-I can't sleep alone. I hate storms," She whimpered, clutching her nightgown.
"Shhh...don't be afraid," He soothed, helping her into his bed.
She crawled under the warm covers with him, trembling with fear. He held her in his arms protectively, stroking her back. Her bottom lip was quivering as she desperately held back tears. He lightly kissed the quivering pout, trying to calm her. At that moment, however, he only saw her as a frail child and guilt overtook him again. You're abusing her, he told himself. You're taking advantage of a child. She's scared of storms, for God's sake. She's still a child. But then, another voice was heard. You're not taking advantage of her. You're helping her build her life back.
"There's no reason to be afraid. I'm right here," He reassured her at last.
"Okay," She sniffled.
"I want to show you something, but you can try to sleep if you would like," He smiled, kissing her cheek.
"I want to see." Her face immediately lit up and she hugged him, almost relieved to be escaping her slumber.
He pulled the covers back before taking her hand and leading her down the hall. The house was completely dark, except for the occasional strike of lightning that lit their path through the building. They walked downstairs to the sunroom where Elena had only been a couple of times. Off in the corner was a table scattered with drawings that she swore she had never even noticed. He flicked on the lights and led her over to them, still holding her small hand. He pointed to numerous charcoal drawings of Legolas that he had done over the years. Elena could not believe how intricate and realistic they all looked. It was evident that Damon had a talent.
"They're amazing. Absolutely stunning," She whispered, trailing her fingertips across them all.
"That's not actually what I wanted to show you," He laughed, walking over to the bookshelf.
He pulled out a sketchpad, flipping through the many pages until he stopped at the one he wanted. He turned it around to show her and her heart nearly stopped when she saw what he had drawn. Legolas stood proudly with his mane blowing in the wind, a young girl straddling the gelding. It was obvious it was Elena, yet she felt the girl was far too pretty to be herself. The girl's body was leant forward so that she laid on her stomach along his back. Her flowy summer dress blew in the breeze along with her long locks and her cheek rested delicately on his neck. She was smiling, a genuine grin that only exemplified the angelic sparkle of her dark orbs. The shading transformed the drawing into a spectacular work that left her scrambling for words. He had made her beautiful with nothing but a crayon and she could not help but tear up.
"I've never seen something this incredible, Damon. Thank you so much," She said breathless, tears streaming down her cheeks. "Is this really the way I look? The way you see me?"
"Of course, Elena. You are beautiful...I only draw what I see. You just so happen to be incredible!" He confirmed, pulling her into his arms.
"Will you do something for me?" She looked up to meet his stare.
He simply nodded.
"Draw me exactly how you see me," She said quietly.
"I did, Elena," He laughed.
"I mean ME. My body. I want to you to draw exactly what you see when you look at me for me, no barriers," She smiled suddenly at the thought.
"You want me to sketch you naked?" He asked in surprise.
"Make me love my body, Damon. Make these scars beautiful," She breathed, gesturing to her tattered body.
In that moment Damon saw how much her body burdened her, how much it reminded her of pain. If something so easy, so selfless could allow her to heal, it was worth it. Damon already knew her body was beautiful, but Elena did not. If he wanted to her to agree with such a notion, he needed to prove it to her through art. Finally, after all these years, the thing that had caused him so much grief was now a way to help someone heal. Art had once broken apart his family, but now it was only bringing them together.
"I will someday, Elena, but you need to understand that I'm not ready to see you like that. " He told her, curling his fingers under her chin and staring into her eyes.
"I don't care if you see my body. I really don't," She was almost pleading. "Besides, you helped me in the bathroom."
"That was different, Elena. That was necessary because I was helping you. This…This can be avoided."
"But why, Damon? Why?"
"In our society, it is despised and wrong. No man should see you naked, especially so young. What you've been through should have never happened, but it doesn't change the fact that I shouldn't see you that way. Please understand that," He said softly, moving his hands to hers.
"Why are you doing this to me? You're treating me like a baby. I can make my own choices," She defended, her throat tightening."You think I'm disgusting, don't you? You don't want anything to do with my body, even though I want to give it to you."
At that, Damon's eyes widened. "No, Elena. God, you have a wrong idea about this all," He cupped her face. "You owe no one, no men, nothing. You don't owe me anything. Your body is not something you should feel you owe, Elena, not unless you are in love with someone and you are older."
"But isn't that what my body is for?" Elena said, "To please men? I want to please you. You make me happy, so I want to make you happy." She reasoned, and at that,
Damon's heart nearly broke. God, she really was just a child.
"You've been through too much. I can't do that to you. You need time," He told her. "And you shouldn't say such things, sweetie. Sex shouldn't occur. Not unless you are ready, and that is not right now."
"All I need is for you to stop shielding me from you. You can't change who I am. Can't you see that? I will always be broken. I will always have those haunting memories," The tears had finally begun to leak down her cheeks and she found herself yelling.
Damon might have been a ruthless vampire, but he still had his limits. Elena was a child, a broken one, and he could not take advantage of her in anyway, even if she couldn't realize it.
"Elena...stop" He whispered, knowing how this conversation would end.
"I'm just too broken. I will never be good enough for you. You think I am a child," She spat, backing away from him.
"Do you want me to just act like everything is fine, Elena? That we're not on the run or that you aren't fourteen? I need to protect you. This is how I am going to do that," He barked, his blood now boiling.
"It doesn't matter anymore. I'm just a victim. A used whore. You should've just handed me over to him to save yourself the trouble." She cried.
"Elena," He sighed, already fed up with fighting with her.
"Just call him up. You probably have Klaus' number. Tell him his whore is asking to go home. He'll take me back. I was such an obedient one," She hissed. "He'll put me to good use at least."
"Why are you doing this, Elena? It's not like it didn't hurt when he did that to you!"
"It's what I'm for!" She yelled, "That's my job! That's what I was created to do!"
"NO! That isn't!" He screamed back, "Don't ever say that again! God, Elena, you've got this so wrong! What the fuck did he do to you?" He pulled her in his arms but she fought back.
She was hysterically sobbing, running to the entrance of the sun room and still shouting at him. He was in complete disbelief that she felt that way. He walked hurriedly over to her before she could get any farther away. He grabbed her wrists, so that she was forced to acknowledge him.
"Why are you acting this way? I have never once seen you as a whore. That's what I am protecting you from," He pressed.
"I'm frustrated. How is not showing my body to you suddenly protecting me?" She sniffled, wiping her soaked face on her sleeve.
"Answer me this. Did you have clothes on when Klaus hurt you? Did you?" He angrily barked, shaking her.
"You already know," She whispered, her face drooping at the thought.
"Then you can understand why I am deciding for you," He confirmed, trying to meet her eyes.
"You said my past didn't define me. You said it," She cried, trying to pull herself from his hold.
"It's time to sleep," He finally snapped, fed up with his losing battle.
Her bottom lip trembled and her eyes once again watered, causing her eyes to shine beneath the lights. She yanked her wrists out of his grasp and ran upstairs, sobbing uncontrollably. She slammed her door, throwing her body onto the bed. The thunder no longer bothered her as her sobs grew in volume. It had been so long since she had cried out of anger, rather than fear. She loved Damon so much and it pained her to hear him so defensive.
Damon gripped his hair, letting out a frustrated groan. The last thing he wanted was to see her upset, especially being angry with him. He was making the right choice, wasn't he? He made his way back to his room, leaving his door cracked just in case. He didn't want Elena to be upset at him and hoped that she would realize his good intentions. Just as before, he couldn't sleep and instead listened to her muffled cries.
Author's Note: So...it's important that we understand that Klaus has brainwashed Elena into believing that her body should be used to please men. She feels it's her job. Children believe what they are told and so as hard as it is to believe, Elena's beliefs are pretty messed up. As much as we want to push away the thought, this happens all over the world, including the USA. Some countries have child brides as young as 8, others have child prostitutes and just about everything you could imagine. We sometimes convince ourselves that it doesn't happen, but it does. Elena is a broken person and Damon is trying to do the right thing by helping her, but what if she can not be changed?
I almost pity Damon more in this chapter because he is put in such a difficult position. He is the adult and is forced to make decisions for her. They are extremely complex and Elena's resistance sure doesn't help. In our society it is wrong for a man to love a child, but what is the definition of age? Can we generalize and say that every 14 year old is the same or that every man's goal is to take advantage of a child? I feel it is a difficult topic to write about, but I have come to love these two broken people and show that sometimes we judge too quickly. Not to say I believe it is ever right for an adult to have a relationship with a child. This story is an exception for me...being a vampire and also Damon Salvatore combine to make the story work!
I hope you enjoyed! Please leave a review and make my Christmas a little merrier! xoxo Ren
