The servants that came in to check on her definitely had questions as to why she was screaming and writhing, and why there was no sound. A simple lie of her being in so much pain that she couldn't make sound sufficed them, but the fact that she was in so much pain in the first place was harder to cover up. He explained she had a low pain tolerance, and that such a wound caused her more pain than usual, but was unsure if that sufficed the servants or not. Worse was when they noticed she had not healed at all. A simple explanation that she healed extremely slowly left them giving questioning glances, but it was the best he could do. The entire time she spent in pain before even then wiggling and moaning stopped, and even after then, Mooney did not leave her side. Luckily, meals had been brought to him, albeit with pitying looks on the servant's faces that he couldn't stand, so he didn't starve. However, he hardly slept, so he was bone weary. He was glad when he noticed her movement had stopped and she was looking at him.
"You were really worried, weren't you?" she told him half with her mouth, half with her mind.
"Yeah. I always am, remember?"
"I remember. Go get some rest; you look haggard."
"You're okay now?"
"A day or two of rest and I will be."
"All right. I'll be back in a little while."
Outai gave a slow nod, wincing in the pain it caused, and closed her eyes. Even through all her pain, all that searing, unbearable pain, far worse than any kind of childbirth could provide, she had felt him holding her hand. It was a small comfort, but it was there. She didn't remember him doing that before, nor could she figure out why she liked it so much. His hand was warm in hers, and even though every fiber of her body was in searing pain, that one hand was all she needed at that time. It left her feeling...warm inside. When had that happened? She hadn't felt that since her husband and son had died.
Even more than that, she realized that, when she spoke to him just now, half the time her voice sounded rough, as though she hadn't used it in a long time. Had she spoken with her mouth? And why was her body still feeling warm? She hadn't felt warm at all in a very long time. She tried to raise her arm to her face, to examine her skin, but her body refused to move. She was paralyzed for the time being, as was normal every time she died and came back to life. She knew it would at least be a full day before she could move at all, and the better part of a week before she could walk on her own, but that didn't keep her from trying. However, she did feel herself relaxing, and, surprisingly, she knew she was slipping in to slumber. So many surprises lately. Just what was going on? She'd have to ask Holy later. For now, she'd let the rest come.
Outai awoke in a field of flowers. The air was softly perfumed, and the flowers of all shapes and sizes left the ground looking much like a very colorful carpet. The air was cool and pleasant, and there was silence, save for the babbling of a stream nearby. It was all so...serene. She was wary at first, as she always was, but found herself relaxing in the grass, staring up at the sky. Suddenly, she felt a familiar presence sitting beind her, their back against hers.
"You're doing well with your illusions, my friend." she said to them, taking in a breath of sweet air. When had she started breathing?
"Thanks. It took me a while." came the playful, boyish response. "Do you like it?"
"I do." she said calmly. "It's really...nice. I don't think I've had any dreams since I was alive."
"A lot is happening. When I look at you, you look more and more alive. Just a moment ago you spoke with your mouth. Well, half the time anyway."
"So, it did happen then. I'm going to have to relearn how to speak I guess."
"Yeah. You don't have much time to learn, either. The regent is holding a grand ball in a few days to celebrate the lives that were saved. I think he gave us honorary titles of 'Lord' and 'Lady', because when I met with them they all greeted me as 'Lord Mooney'."
Outai gave a laugh. When had she started laughing? This was the first time, wasn't it? Still it was nice. It was high, and almost musical in it's sound, in spite of her rough speaking voice. Mooney smiled to himself, relaxing against Outai's back.
"Hey, that's a nice change. I haven't heard you laugh in a long time." he said, clearly quite happy.
"It's good to laugh again. I forgot how good it feels. Still, I can just imagine you dressed up in something fancy, with everyone addressing you as 'Lord'."
"Well they did, and I did. But I will tell you one thing: as soon as it was all done and I got my clothes back, I was OUT of those fancy clothes they had me wear. How can anyone stand those things? They're too restricting and too flimsy."
"I suppose they consider the material to be comfortable. If I remember correctly from my day, nobles wore silk because it wasn't as rough as wool. It seems some things have not changed. Still, I think I would have liked to see you dressed up for once."
"Oh?" Mooney said, cocking his head to the side for a moment. She wanted to see him dressed up? That was also a first. There were so many rapid changes lately, and he couldn't understand them, but he couldn't honestly say he didn't like some of them. "Well, I'll dress up, if you will."
"It's a deal." she said without missing a beat, and this time Mooney turned around to look at her with wide eyes.
"What? Is something wrong?" she asked.
"No. Not quite. It's just...I have never seen you dress up before, much less willingly."
"Well, it may not be as willing as you think, but it seems a fair deal to dress up for you if you are going to dress up for me."
"WAHOO!" Mooney said.
Promptly, he jumped up and began doing cartwheels and back flips in his excitement. He was so happy! She was smiling for the first time in thousands of years! She was laughing! Her skin was becoming warmer and pinker by the day. He didn't understand it, but he liked it. He also hadn't noticed Outai stand up, and ended up pouncing her, pinning her to the ground on accident, with his hands holding down her shoulders and sitting on her stomach. She gazed up at him, confusion in her eyes, and a hint of something else. Was it...laughter? Was she laughing again? His cheeks immediately turned color at the situation.
"Well, this isn't awkward at all, is it Mooney?" she said, and he could almost detect humor in her voice.
"Wah! Sorry, Outai." he said as he promptly rolled off of her and lay on the grass next to her, gazing up at the sky.
An awkward silence passed between them, and it seemed to stretch on for quite some time. Neither could think of anything to say, so they didn't say anything, and just watched as the few, wispy clouds floated across the sky lazily. After a moment, Outai's body began to glow softly, and she herself grew more filmy and diaphanous.
"Hey, Outai, what's going on? Where are you going?" he said as she slowly began to disappear.
"Just going to have a little meeting inside my head. I'll tell you about it later."
And with that she vanished.
...And woke up to pitch, heavy blackness. Only now, it seemed a little lighter for some reason. Yet another question for Holy. Even more strangely, she didn't have to go that deep to find Holy, like she usually did. As soon as she found Holy, she began her interrogation.
"What is going on?" she asked curiously, "My mouth is beginning to move again. I've smiled a couple of times now. And my body feels so warm it's almost unbearable. Mooney says my skin looks more human, too. And when I'm around Mooney, I feel strange. What is going on? Are you doing this?"
"No. You are."
"I am? But how?"
"You said you feel strange around Mooney. Tell me, how strange is it?"
"I feel...warm. And sometimes safe. When did that happen? Why did that happen? He's my guardian, I'm supposed to feel safe around him, but this is different. I...I think I liked it when he held me when I passed out, and when he held my hand while I was in pain. Why did I like it so much?"
"I think you love him." Holy said.
"That's impossible. I still love my husband."
"Your husband has been dead for ten thousand years. It's about time you moved on. I think he would understand."
"You're a spirit. Can you speak with him?"
"His soul is resting peacefully. I cannot wake those who rest peacefully, nor do I want to."
"That's a relief. For a time I was afraid he and little Kenny were in pain all this time."
"The vows you gave were 'till death do us part'. Death has parted you two, and you are not able to join him in eternal rest."
"I have you to hate for that." she said spitefully.
"However, this also means you can move on with your life. Staying in the past has not helped you, has it? This darkness that was consuming you, it's different now, isn't it?"
"It is. It feels...lighter some how. It's not so heavy."
"That's because the weight it had before was because of you. You kept your mind in the past, and it weighed you down. Now that you're realizing that someone else is there for you, that weight is being lifted. He is sharing your burden."
"He shouldn't have to. I should do it myself."
"Everyone needs help sometimes, even you. Let him share the burden that you carry. Without even knowing it, you've helped him carry his, and he wants to help you carry yours. Friends do that."
"I...I guess so. But I've also hurt him all this time. I know now that he loves me, and all this time he was only a good friend and guardian to me. I don't think I have a right, feeling what I do now."
"Perhaps not, but I've read him this whole time, and he likes the changes that are occurring in you. Are you going to hurt him again by stopping it?"
"I...guess not. But, I don't think I'm capable of 'love' any more. I saw my emotions the last time I meditated, and 'love' was dead. 'Love' and 'passion' both. Besides, I don't think it would work out. I'm still frozen, so being affectionate would be painful for him."
"But that's changing, isn't it?" Holy said calmly, "Look again at yourself. You'll be surprised. I'll leave you to do that."
Instantly the light left, leaving behind it the oppressive darkness once again. This time, without even summoning them, her emotions sprung up around her. For some reason, Anger and Hatred were looking more filmy than they had last time, and decidedly weaker. Sorrow was still there, but her color was lighter, and rather than being curled into a ball, crying, she was standing, albeit hunched with her head down.
Oddly, the first one she saw was Contentment. That dying emotion was now sitting calmly, her breathing now quiet, but deep. She was looking stronger, and smiling up at Outai. Beside her were her sisters, Love and Passion. Passion was still dead stone, but, for some reason, Love was alive, though barely. Her color was light, and almost nonexistent, and she herself looked filmy, almost to the point of not being there. Her breathing was heavy and labored.
"She's...alive?" Outai asked.
"She is." Contentment said with a nod and a smile. "The darkness that killed her and her sister is going away. Slowly but surely, it's going away. I'm content with that."
"Why is it going away, though?" Curiosity asked, chorused by Confusion, both still as strong as they had ever been.
"I think...Mooney is doing this."
"Why would Mooney be doing this?" they chorused again. "Aren't you doing this?"
"I guess I am, and it's because of Mooney that I am." Outai said, and the thought of it gave her heart a strange warmth that she hadn't felt in a very long time.
Somehow, Love's breathing became a little less ragged, and her color became a little more pronounced. That warm feeling brought her back a little more. What was it? Did she want that emotion back? She was suddenly afraid, and Fear stood next to her, quivering.
"I don't want to be hurt again. If Mooney dies, I'd die again. I can't stay dead. I don't want to be hurt like that again."
"Mooney can't stay dead either," said Logic, cool and white and strong, "he'd come back to you."
"What if he fell for someone else?" said fear.
"He hasn't done that in all the time he's been with you, and he's not going to. If he did, he'd be hurt like you were, and he doesn't want that."
Confusion stepped up this time, but Outai disappeared before she could say anything. She had a lot of thinking to do.
When she woke up, she found a servant checking on her wound. She should have been embarrassed that she was unclothed from the hips up, but it was a woman addressing her wound, so it didn't matter.
"Oh, you're awake!" said the stern woman, who was frowning at her belly. "Your wound shows now signs of healing. Are you really that slow?"
"I suppose so."
"Well, I guess I'll have to take over your treatment. That tailor does a fine job sewing, but she knows nothing of dressing wounds." The woman said, her gray head bobbing for a moment as she reached into a leather bag, pulling out a jar of something that smelled awful. "This will sting a bit, but will help in the healing process."
The woman began smearing on a greasy, yellowish concoction that smelled heavily of bitter herbs. Outai knew these herbs, and knew they were meant for healing wounds, but not deep ones like hers. Still, she wouldn't give herself away by telling the woman otherwise. It did sting some, but it was nothing to the pain her body still felt, so she didn't even flinch. After a night of rest she would have to heal herself a bit, though not all the way, lest she draw attention at her suddenly healed wound.
"You are a brave one." the woman said, now sounding strangely motherly. "Not many would take a knife to the gut like that and keep from flinching while it's being cared for. But after the episode I heard you went through when you woke up, I suppose this is nothing now. Tell me, why did you go through so much pain from a wound like this?"
"Being stabbed is no walk through the woods." Outai said simply.
"Well, yes, but I can't imagine it would cause THAT much pain."
"Some people just have a low pain tolerance. I take it my friend has given a thorough description of the ones who did this?" Outai said, changing the subject as the woman began wrapping her in bandages again.
"He did. The regent wants to send you both after them, but I don't think that's a good idea. Seeing how slowly you're healing, you are definitely not up to the task. Here, eat this."
The woman gave her a bowl of what smelled like hot beef broth, but Outai still could not move. How was she going to explain that? She wasn't surprised she and Mooney would be sent after those two. In fact, she had planned to do so as soon as she was able.
"Aren't you going to eat, child?" the woman said when Outai didn't move.
"Not at the moment." she said, trying to cover up. Unfortunately, her growling stomach gave her away. Since when did she feel hungry?
"You must eat something or you'll never get better. Besides, I can hear your stomach complaining."
"Your stomach would complain, too, if it had a knife buried in it."
"That is true, which is why, for now, you're on a liquid diet. Still, you need nourishment. If I have to, I will feed you myself."
"I won't fight you." Outai said stubbornly.
Her ruse worked. Rather than explain exactly how weak she was and why, the woman simply assumed she was being stubborn and decided to feed her herself.
"You are such a baby." she said, shaking her head regretfully. "But if you're going to be that way, I have no choice."
The woman climbed up next to Outai on the bed and lifted the top half of her body to a sitting position. She quickly shoved several pillows behind her, so that Outai would remain in that position. Before she knew it, Outai was being spoon fed a hot, steaming broth of beef. It wasn't spicy at all, though this country was known for using lots of spice, but it did have a lot of herbs in it known for being nutritive. outai didn't fight the woman, as promised, as she was spoon fed like a baby. Her pride was too damaged for that at having to be fed like that, but she resigned to her current position. She couldn't move on her own, so there was no point in pouting about it.
