A/N: once again, a special shout out to Ranibow2Malfoy, seddielover12 and RainingEmeralds and all of you guys out there whos sticking by me and sending me awesome reviews. You guys are awesome! :D

June 19th, 1998

Today was such a hassle. There is just so much to do before the wedding! I can't believe there are just two weeks left till I am officially Mrs. Draco Malfoy. Personally, I think I want to keep my original last name. Pansy Malfoy sounds simply awful. I prefer Pansy Parkinson much more; although I recently discovered that there is a disease with the word Parkinson in it. Apparently it's some muggle disease. How dreadful…

I have to go soon. I'm getting my dress adjusted. I think I need the train of my wedding dress a few feet longer. After all, it's going to be a spectacular wedding. I wouldn't want anyone to outdo me now, would I?

Joy, Mrs. Malfoy, or shall I say, "Mother", is calling. She's trying to get me to call her that for the past two months. Honestly, I despise my own mother, what makes her think that I'll like her any better? All I want is my Draco.

Hermione lifted her head from the book and let out a scornful laugh. It was kind of weird to read someone else's thoughts, and she had to admit, Pansy was a completely different person than she had expected. She thought she would see lists of people that she would bitch about, and then go on to talking about how many pairs of shoes that she had bought that day. And she really did love Draco…

She flipped to the last entry in the journal and re-read it again.

July 28th, 1998

I hate this. I don't know what to do. I'm so confused… I'm married to the love of my life, what more could I want? Or at least, he used to be… I am so unhappy.

I think that it is this child inside of me; this wretched human being that is growing inside of my body, feeding and leeching off of my energy. I had found out a week ago, but I refused to believe it until now. I just came back from St. Mungo's. I couldn't stand the Healers congratulating me after waving their horrid white wands around my stomach and making me pee on some muggle stick that changed colour.

I had never been so humiliated, I can tell you that. I was actually asked to pee on a stick. A muggle stick, no less. And as if that was not enough, I had to sit in some strange chair and watch as a Healer prodded me with tools in an area that should only be accessible to my husband. Can you imagine? Me, Pansy Parkinson, being prodded at by some strange Healer; a man, no less, down there?

Needless to say, I am completely and utterly embarrassed. I have been throwing up nonstop, and I constantly have to go back and forth to pee every half an hour. It is ridiculous.

I haven't told Draco yet. I don't think I intend to either. I have to get rid of this child. I can feel it… this child is going to be evil. This child… Merlin knows what will happen, what with the curse and all. I refuse to let this happen. I refuse to be some kind of human vessel carrying this… abomination inside of me.

I will get rid of this child, and I want to get out of this horrid marriage, even if it is the last thing I do. Merlin said that there is no way a witch and wizard can get out of a marriage. Apparently, they take the term "till death do us part" quite seriously…

Hermione was jostled out of her thoughts when she heard a thump on the door outside. Scrambling out of her seat, she tucked the diary under robes and ducked down under the table, stowing herself into the corner of the table. Hearing the door of the room open with a slight click, she held her breath and pressed her back against the corner hard, huddling her knees closer to her chest.

Her eyes trained on the pair of fancy black shoes that had appeared. She recognized them as Draco's, and watched them come nearer and nearer to the table.

"Pansy?" she heard her name being called out.

She froze, pretending that she didn't hear him. Her prayers went unanswered as she saw the black shoes approach her, walking around the desk to stand directly in front of her.

"Pansy, what are you doing in my study?" asked Draco, frowning as he let out a hand to her for her to take. Glaring at the hand, she ignored it and pulled herself up, bumping her head hard under the desk.

"I was looking for my earrings," she lied calmly.

"And what would your earrings be doing in my study?" said Draco. "Honestly, Pansy. You've been acting quite odd for the past couple of days. Is everything alright?"

"Everything is fine, Draco," she said stiffly. She held her head high and walked out of the room, not noticing the book slip out of her robes and fall with a plunk to the floor. When she closed the door shut behind her she let out pants of relief. She didn't know how she managed to lie through her teeth so smoothly.

Feeling slightly dazed, she made her way up to her bedroom and sank into the bed, holding her head in her hands. There was so much information to process.

There was such a contrast between Pansy's moods from the beginning of the journal to the last entry. What had made her feel so bitterly towards the man that she was so certain Pansy had loved and adored? She knew for certain that Pansy had truly loved him. She had seen all the pictures; and no one can ever fake the love that she had seen in their wedding photograph.

And what curse had Pansy been talking about? She called the child that she had been carrying an abomination… Her eyes widened as her mind lingered on that thought.

Pansy was pregnant.

Hermione yanked her robes off and pulled her top up and stared at her stomach. Was she still carrying the child? She pulled out her wand and waved it over her stomach. A light blue negative sign hovered in front of her, making her frown. Had Pansy kept her word and gotten rid of the baby? She tried to recall anything else from the journal.

"Merlin said that there is no way a witch and wizard can get out of a marriage."

Merlin? How on earth would she be able to speak to Merlin? Unless she meant the painting? Pansy must have spoken to Merlin in the painting about trying to get out of the marriage. Perhaps she could try talking to him and find out what else had she possibly spoken to him about.

Her train of thought cut off when she felt a pair of hands wrap themselves around her waist, yanking her backwards onto the soft mattress below her.

"I thought I'd find you here," Draco murmured into her ear. Hermione let out a startled scream, her instincts kicking in as she started pulling away from him, thrashing her arms about. She stopped when she felt her elbow connect with something soft.

She turned around to see Draco rubbing his stomach, grimacing.

"If you find me so utterly unattractive to the point where you would hit me to avoid a simple embrace, then just…" Draco trailed off tiredly. "Nevermind."

"N-no, Draco, I didn't mean it," she stuttered. "You just gave me a bit of a fright me, that's all."

Hermione felt terrible. She watched the poor man shake his head and bring a hand up to massage his temples as he turned away, facing the wall behind him.

"No," said Draco. "That isn't it. You've been acting so strange for the past few days. Its been making me wonder…" he trailed off.

"What is it?" asked Hermione wearily. Was Draco onto something? Did he finally figure out that she was not who he thought she was?

"I have to ask you a question, Pansy," he said quietly. "And please, for Merlin's sake, answer truthfully."

"Yes, Draco?" she said, swallowing back a gulp nervously.

"Are you having an affair?" he asked her, his voice almost inaudible. Hermione's eyes enlarged.

"Draco, what on earth would give you that idea?" she said, almost laughing with relief as she realized that he suspected nothing about her true identity. "That is just absurd, you know I'd never be unfaithful to you," said Hermione, pulling her eyebrows together into a frown.

"I saw you being awfully close to Weasley the other day in the ministry," said Draco, looking down.

Hermione had nothing to say to what Draco had said, for it was true. She had been very close and cuddly with Ron. But he was her fiancé. She loved him.

"I-I," she stammered. Draco shook his head, stopping her.

"I'm not stupid, Pansy. You refuse to sleep with me; you ignore my advances on you. Hell, you shove your elbow into my ribs so that you would get out of a measly hug," he said miserably.

Hermione stared at the man sitting in front of her. He had lost so much, without even knowing it, and he was already hurting. He had lost his wife, a child… and he was completely oblivious to it all. This man was never going to know love.

Not knowing what else to do, she crawled across the mattress and settled herself next to him, leaning her side on his back and pulling her arm around him into an awkward hug. Draco's head lifted and nestled on top of her head, wrapping a long arm around her and pulling her closer. They stayed like that for a while, Draco closing his eyes and inhaling the scent of the woman that was next to him. He lifted his head off of hers and leaned down to kiss her forehead, hesitating slightly before pressing his lips to her skin, afraid of being rejected once again.

Hermione noticed him hesitating. She pulled away from him and readjusted herself onto his lap, wrapping both of her arms around his neck. She felt his hands slide down her body to rest on her waist. She shivered, feeling the warm skin of his hands pressing through the thin material of her shirt. Draco pulled his neck upwards to reach her face and press his lips gently against hers, leaning back on the mattress and bringing her down with him, keeping his arms wrapped around her.

He drifted his hands under her shirt and trailed them upwards, brushing against the small of her back. Hermione resisted the urge to pull away and allowed herself to be kissed, feeling him trail up the crook of her neck and onto her cheeks, leading back to her mouth. Shutting down all of her senses, she gave into him and let herself be taken under.