Chapter 9: The Infirmary

A simultaneous symphony of mechanical beeps and whistles softly pried Rosie away from her hazy dreams. Opening slowly, as if to cherish the moment, her almond brown eyes slowly focused in on the scene in front of her. She had an IV in her elbow, her left ankle was in a cast, and she felt extremely sticky as if someone had bathed her in lotion. Gazing around, she realized that she was in the infirmary tent on a white stretcher cot with little fold-out heart monitors sprawled around her bed. She blinked once or twice, and noticed that someone was holding her hand tightly. Turning her head slightly to the left, a wide smile broke out onto her sleepy face.

"Mon cher…'ow is my little canoli doing?" Her giggle was interrupted as she coughed tiredly and took a deep breath. Vito had a cheeky grin plastered on his face as he replied with his usual cool smoothness. He gently kissed her hand and stared deep into her eyes.

"Fine now dat the sleepin' beauty woke up." He cupped her pale hand in both of his and sighed sadly. "I'm so sorry Baby…I feel like dis is all my faul-"

"Shhhh…" Rosie cut him off sharply by deviously raising her eyebrows. "Aven't you ever 'eard fairy tales? Zhe Prince never talks when 'is princess wakes up…'e always just kisses 'er so zhat she will fall madly in love with 'im." Vito brightened up almost instantly and leaned over happily.

"Well then hey, if that's the way it goes, who am I to change the classics?" Vito bent over Rosie's bed and softly kissed her soft full lips. Rosie propped herself up and practically begged him to go further; however right before Vito could kick it up a notch, an intern who worked as a nurse popped his head in. Rosie's heart monitor had apparently skyrocketed the moment Vito had given her that famous smile of his. The intern glared at him and stomped over to her beeping heart monitor.

"Ok, dude, can you save the PDA until after your girlfriend loses the IV, huh?" The intern gulped and took a step back when Vito turned his head away from Rosie and gave him a look that would melt steel. "Look, do you want her to faint again? Because her adrenaline is way too high and the slightest bit of excitement could easily knock her back out!" Vito settled back down on the end of the bed and sighed in defeat.

"Alright fine…Jeez, ruin the moment why don't-cha?"

"Exscuse moi Monsieur, but I actually feel wonderful!" Rosie sat up straight in bed and stretched her arms up to the sky. "I really don't zhink anything is terribly wrong with me…"

"You sprained your left ankle, your entire body is covered in poison ivy, your adrenaline levels are out of control from potentially harmful mental and sexual abuse, AND you have a black eye." The intern shook his head at her in annoyance at her ignorance. "I think it would be best if you listened to the guy with the degree."

"A degree in interning?" Vito glared at him and his lips curled into a snarl. "Look here pal, if the lady says she's fine then she's fine, capiche?" Vito swiveled his attention back to Rosie. With hearing all of her ailments he suddenly was flooded with unnecessary concern. Vito gently set his hand on Rosie's thigh. "Aldough Rosie, you shouldn't push yourself…" Rosie's heart monitor began to beep wildly at his touch, and Vito quickly pulled away. He grinned promiscuously. "Hahaha, I guess that this man candy is strictly against Doc's orders…" Rosie giggled and her cheeks turned bright red as Vito flexed his biceps at her tauntingly.

"Actually, I came in here to remind Vito of his own treatments…" The intern rubbed his forehead while groaning, trying desperately to communicate with the love-sick couple. "Vito has three shattered knuckles on his right hand and two on his left, his misaligned back will take about two weeks' worth of therapy to correct, and he is almost as bad as Rosie with the poison ivy." The intern shook his head and sighed angrily. "Why do I get stuck with such weird patients…how'd you guys even find that much poison ivy?" Vito narrowed his eyes at the intern for ruining their moment yet again.

"Yo, uh…how long were you thinkin' of standin' there just yappin' your mouth off eh? 'Cuz y'know, it would be great if we could get a little alone time. Catch my drift?" His words were spat out in a dog like growl which made the intern take another hesitant step back.

"Fine! You know what? This is what I get for trying to help!" The intern tossed Vito a small bottle of an odd smelling pink lotion which he easily caught and stared at with a disinterested expression. "You can rub that in by yourself! It's ointment for the poison ivy. I already treated the girl with it while she was unconscious." Suddenly, Rosie's eyes widened.

"Is zhat why I feel so sticky?" She rolled her shoulder's back and forth as if trying to regain fluid movement. Panic lighting up her wide eyes, Rosie pulled the covers up to her chest and stared at the intern with a bright red face. "I-I even 'ad zhe poisonous ivy zhere…and zhere too…" Vito immediately stood up and cracked his neck to the side with rage clouding his eyes.

"You rubbed lotion…all over Rosie…WHILE SHE WAS SLEEPING!?" Vito's tone sent the intern flying out the tent's flap screaming like a little girl in a haunted house. Just as Vito was about to pursue him, Rosie reached up and pulled on his bandaged hand. He looked over at her and sighed. "Eh, he got lucky this time…but if I ever see that dirty little-"

"Oh just sit down, Vito!" Rosie roughly pulled Vito down as she shimmied up to his back and squirted the lotion into her shaking hands. "Zhis will make it stop itching…" Vito's eyes widened for a minute, then dreamily fluttered shut as an open mouthed smile spread across his face and he groaned in relief. Rosie's expert fingers massaged the pink cream into every poisonous welt on Vito's bare back as he rolled his shoulders and gasped with complete bliss.

"Oh mamma…Rosie you have the hands of an angel…ooh…yeah…" Vito moaned and sighed as each shoulder blade was layered in the cool relieving cream.

"Vito…" Rosie's sad, cold tone made Vito suddenly become silent.

"Yeah, what's da matta wit-chu? Your ankle hurtin' or sometin'?"

"No…zhat's not it…" Rosie's gentle hand suddenly left Vito's back and rested on his bandaged knuckles. The pink cream oozed out from between her fingers and left stains on the bloody bandages. Vito winced at her touch. "I feel so terrible…why did you get so upset? You didn't 'ave to 'urt yourself…you didn't 'ave to 'urt yourself over me…" Vito turned his head to look at her behind his back, she was still rubbing in the cream with one hand. "Even zhough you were in such pain, you even broke your own bones! You still wanted to protect me…and now…I just wish zhere was some way I could 'elp you…"

"Ey, 'ey, 'ey, don't go talkin' like that…" Vito gently rotated his body around to face her. He lifted her chin up with his finger and clenched his teeth at the sight of her swollen eye. "If anyone should feel bad it should be me…I was too much of a meat-head to control my own temper…" His thumb traced the edge of where her tan skin melded into black and purple puffiness. She drew in a sharp breath at his touch, but didn't pull away.

"Yes, but if I wasn't so stupid and weak, you would never 'ave lost your temper…I just wish I could be more 'elpful…"

"Well, y'know…that creamy stuff sure was helpin' a lot." Vito slid his hands down Rosie's hips and cat-called romantically. She smiled back, still a little sad.

"Well zhen turn around so zhat I can rub your back again…" Vito wiggled his eyebrows at her and leaned in closer.

"I think my back is finished…" Rosie's eyes instantly lit up as she realized what he was saying. A promiscuous giggle sparkled off her lips as she squeezed more ointment into her dry hands. Vito romantically pulled her onto his lap and curled his arms around her loosely while she started working. Cautiously setting one hand on his abs, then the other, Rosie's whole body began to tingle with delight. She let out a tiny high pitched squeak of excitement and gently began to rub the cream into Vito's bare rippling torso. Her heart monitor began to beep rapidly; however they didn't seem to notice.

"Ey, you missed a spot…" Vito teased her, clearly enjoying the massage and her blushing cheeks. Rosie smiled up at him and provocatively dabbed a tiny clot of cream onto Vito's unsuspecting nose. They both laughed and pulled each other closer. "Jeez, that stuff is cold…" Vito shook his head, trying to escape the freezing clutches of the small patch of cream encasing his nose. Rosie batted her eyelashes and snuggled in closer to him.

"Zhen let me warm you up…" With skilled fingers, Rosie pranced her finger's along Vito's chiseled pecks; just enough to tickle, however more than enough to illustrate a kitten's claws climbing up and down a tree. Her other hand rested on Vito's shoulder, gently squeezing it romantically.

"Oh, Baby...I forgot how good you were toots…" Vito leaned down and ravenously crushed his mouth into Rosie's expectant lips. She let out a moan of content and rolled her body to match his movements. Vito suddenly froze for a moment when he felt the ferocity of Rosie's advances. She pounced on his shock and eagerly pushed him down so that he was lying on his back and she was propped up over him, still kissing passionately. Vito's hands temptingly tugged on Rosie's bra straps as her hair cascaded gently down over his face. She used one hand to prop herself up while the other fiddled with Vito's jeans zipper. Both so entranced in the other, the couple failed to realize that Rosie's heart monitor was practically smoking and short-circuiting due to the high rush of animalistic. adrenaline. The intern from before suddenly burst through the tent flap holding a small ipad screen where he was watching Rosie's heart rate. He gasped for breath as if he had been running and his eyes were wide with worry.

"What are you doing!?" He screeched while his hands flew up to his forehead. "Guys! Her adrenaline is through the roof! You have to stop before-"The intern was cut off with the powering down whirring of the heart monitor. It sparked for a few seconds and then the screen went completely dark. Rosie instantly broke away from Vito, gasping for breath. She painfully grabbed the IV in her arm and cringed. With one final sigh, Rosie squeezed her eyes shut and toppled back down onto her pillow fast asleep. Vito opened his eyes slowly, taking a deep breath and whistling.

"Man…she's got me good…" His cheeks were still flushed from being so close to Rosie and he was panting heavily. Vito sat up and stared down at the unconscious girl.

"You see! I told you this would happen! But did you listen? Noooo, you wanted to make out with your girlfriend right after she woke up from unconsciousness! Are you insane?! What kind of a pervy, love-depraved, wackjob-"

"You really just dunno when to shut up, do ya tough guy?" Vito slowly stood up, which was more than enough to send the intern flying out of the tent. Vito stared after him, but decided to stay with Rosie instead. Suddenly, a loud booming radio screech erupted from the speakers, making Vito groan and cover his ears with his hands.

"Attention campers!" Chris's cheerful voice made Vito cringe and glare up at the speaker.

"You dirty slime bag, Chris! Why da heck did ya have to put so much flippin' poison ivy in that flippin' trap! When the Vito gets his hands on you, there won't even be enough left of ya to fill the body bag!" Obviously, since Chris was on a one way radio, he simply kept going with his announcement.

"Since we had to postpone the campfire ceremony due to some…accidental injuries…" Chris muttered the word as if it was seriously damaging his ratings; which it was. "We are now going to reschedule the campfire ceremony for tonight! Oh, and for all of those in the infirmary…try to be there, I don't think you wanna miss it! Heha…" His laugh made a shiver fly up Vito's spine. The speakers went silent and Vito sat back down on the bed. His eyes suddenly flooded with worry as he realized what was going to happen.

In the heat of last night, Scott's bloody beat up body still had the third gilded Chris statue in his back pocket; therefore, Rosie was the only camper lacking a statue. Vito squeezed her hand and sighed.

"Well toots…I guess I'll just have to snooze-ya-later…" Vito quietly slipped his statue into her open hand and closed her fingers around its base. He stared at it for a while, then sadly looked up to the ceiling. "Maybe while you're still in da show, I'll go and get a job…to help pay back that pig-nose." Vito smiled to just himself as his imagination took hold of his greasy head. "And den you will be free to marry whoever, den you'll choose me, den we'll buy a house, den we'll have seven kids, and den-"

What are you even talking about? Getting married? Are you nuts? Or did you forget that this is actually MY body! Mike's annoying voice broke through Vito's subconscious again. Vito realized he was growing weak without Rosie's voice to strengthen him. He clenched his teeth and tried to ignore it, but it was pointless. You are in MY body right now! And when I come out, I will physically glue my shirt to my body! That way, Zoey and I can get married and have a house and kids. Not you! You will stay what you are meant to be…a different side of MY personality! You are crazy if you even think that you and Rosie could ever work out, she is a real person and you are simply a non-existing figment of MY mind! You should stop being so selfish and end this before she gets hurt! You do it or I will Vito!

Vito finally mustered enough force to push Mike's voice out of his brain. He sighed in relief and fell back on the bed. Vito tilted his head to look over at Rosie, who giggled and moaned in her sleep. She was rubbing her fingers on her pillow and whispering Vito's name. He smiled and entangled his fingers with hers. His smile disappeared as he sadly stared down at his feet.

"Jeez…what are we gonna do Rosie…" Vito's eye fluttered shut as he shook his head softly back and forth. "He's right…that loosa is right…what am I gonna do?"