So here is another little sprinkle of Eli. After Clare "ditching" him, I think it would be appropriate to make a little Eli POV.
Enjoy!
-x-
Eli POV
Where the hell could she be?
It was four in the afternoon and I was sitting on a table waiting for Clare to show up. I even brought my English assignment with me!
The truth is that I felt really guilty. I felt guilty for the fact that I made Clare write an extra paper and she shared her greatest experience with me—so in return, I wrote a short paper about my experience.
Cliché? Maybe.
I don't even know what I'm thinking these days. I'm always thinking about Clare Edwards. Clare in math class, Clare in history class, Clare in French class, even Clare in art appreciation.
I can't stand it.
I can't stand thinking about her pretty hair or her blue eyes. I can't stand thinking about her voice and her smarts.
Her soul envelopes my whole being. She is my whole being.
I can't even explain it in words.
-x-
I have to admit, waiting three hours for a girl is a bit much.
And that's what I did.
By the time it was six thirty, I took my stuff and left. So much for having a nice afternoon with Clare.
I'm sick of her. I'm sick of thinking of her.
She stood me up!
I can't believe it. I thought she was this nice and delicate person who cared about others. She made me believe that she cared for me and actually trusted me even when I tricked her.
She forgave me for everything.
And I thought we were on neutral territory. I thought that we could be two friends going to a café and sipping coffees while talking about the weather. Something completely and utterly normal and casual I may add.
No. Instead I get my heart ripped to pieces and stomped on by a bunch of big fat elephants.
Fine. If she wants to play this sort of game, I can play it too. It's not that hard.
It's just that now we're back to square one when I thought we were making progress.
-x-
It's around seven in the evening when I finish all my homework and log on to my AIM. I see that Clare is online. She has time to go online and chat with friends but not to meet with friends? Fine.
I'll make the initiative and talk to her.
There's a piece of my heart that keeps on telling me that she'll apologize and reschedule.
eli-gold49: Changed your mind about meeting me?
I wait for her response. I take a few deep breaths: I must remember to keep my cool. Play it cool and play it safe. I keep on repeating that mantra to myself.
clare-e23: Sorry about that. I sort of had something to do.
Those two short sentences were drilled into my head. I looked over at those ten words and kept on repeating them over and over. There wasn't any apology, no rain check for our meeting.
It was so… broad.
Anyone could assume anything.
Maybe she decided to meet up with jerk K.C. (and yes, I do know that they used to be a 'thing'), or perhaps she wanted to go on a shopping trip with her girlfriends.
Those kinds of girls disgust me.
If she thinks that she can play me, Eli Goldsworthy, she's absolutely wrong.
I am not a tool that can be used and put away. I'm not trash—I'm more than that.
-x-
Girls often think that if they have a guy that follows them around, they can treat them like dirt.
I just never thought that Clare would be that type.
But Clare isn't that type—I know she isn't that type. She would break my heart so easily.
eli-gold49: It's fine. See you in school tomorrow.
I couldn't say anything more or anything less.
-x-
The chase is officially over.
Alas, I am now without a scratching post.
Clare and I, we're nothing more than two people put together in a classroom.
We are officially on square one again.
And for some bizarre reason, I don't really like it.
I feel empty inside.
-x-
I've decided to be cool when I see her.
I can't be angry at her even if she had something better to do rather than to chill with me.
But I can't go up to her and be a wimp. What kind of guy would I be if I was submissive and quiet. I wear the pants. I'm the man.
And even if some girl that I kind of like steps on my heart, I can move on.
I regret absolutely nothing.
-x-
And there's a little sprinkle of Eli!
I just read it over and I just realized that he sounds really angry. Don't be angry and say that it's really OOC for Eli to be like that…
But if you think about it: if you were a guy and a girl you like totally stood you up like that, wouldn't you be mad? And consider the whole Julia thing: he probably isn't able to open himself up to girls as well anymore…
So he is mad… in an Eli way. (:
