Disclaimer: I do not own Megamind nor am I affiliated with Dreamworks in anyway. I'm just borrowing the characters.
Ch 9 – Getting Away
Once they came to a stop in the Evil Lair, Megamind had bolted out of the car to jot down his ideas that he was spazzing out about earlier. She removed the end of the cape from around her head and also exited the vehicle.
"Is he always like that?" she asked Minion who was her current guard.
Minion chuckled slightly and answered, "Only when he thinks of a 'great' idea or he's afraid it'll slip away if he's busy with other things. I bet it's the latter in this situation."
"Gee, sorry I'm crimping his style," she muttered sarcastically.
"Oh, no worries, Miss Ritchi!" Minion replied. He either missed the sarcasm or he was ignoring it. He was sometimes hard to read. Being an alien fish and all…
Megamind came around the corner then and clapped his hands together, "Well, Miss Ritchi, let's try to puzzle out what happened this time. Minion, can you pull those plans again? I've already filed them." He turned and started leading the way to an interior room as Minion went in a different direction. She noticed that he was still wearing her heels and didn't seem to be having any balance problems. She was slightly jealous; it took her a long time before she could walk in those without stumbling. But then, she always had the impression that he was pretty agile.
They ended up in the area with all the monitors again. She scanned them to see if she could figure out the location of their lair, but Megamind must have just been in here. All the monitors had a black screensaver with his logo in blue or silver rotating on them. Megamind hopped into the high-backed chair in front of the screens and Roxanne found another chair.
"Miss Ritchi, can you tell me exactly what you were doing, and if you felt anything strange?" Megamind asked.
"Well, I was getting ready for the interview," she started, "I probably jinxed us by looking in the mirror and was glad I saw my own face." She shot him a glare. This was still all his and his stupid inventions' fault! "I checked my makeup, talked to my interviewee, Metro Man showed up and I moved him behind the camera. We started filming and then I was here. I didn't feel anything at all, just like the first time we switched. How about you? Anything?" She looked at him expectantly.
Megamind was frowning in concentration then said, "I was listening to music and working on some brainbots. One had more damage than the others, so I decided to do some additional repairs. I exposed its circuit board then touched a loose wire and it shocked me. Next thing I know, I'm holding a microphone."
"Well, that's it then, isn't it? That shock?" she suggested.
"I believe so," he agreed. "I suspected that was what had triggered it, but wanted to be sure there wasn't anything on your end that may have con-try-butted."
"Can we do it again and see if it'll shwitch us back?" she asked. It would be nice to put in a full day's work for a change. She still needed to get him to call her boss…
"We can give it a try," he agreed with some of reluctance. "It was a pretty low voltage…" He looked intently around the room for something. When he didn't spot what he was looking for, he sighed and stood up. "Miss Ritchi, if you could pull the cape over your head again?"
"Why?!" she demanded. "I've been here before, remember?"
"Yes, and the lair was prepped for your presence at the time. That is not true today," he replied a bit stiffly.
"Fine, fine," she grumbled and grasped the edge of the cape she was still wearing. How he could wear this on a daily basis and not feel silly, she would never know. She pulled it up and over her head, effectively blinding herself. At least it wasn't the bag. It would serve him right if she could shove his currently smaller head in that smelly thing. A slightly evil idea began to form in her head and she could feel an evil little grin cross her face. Oh, he had better hope they have this situation fixed sooner rather than later…
She felt him take her hand and lead her to a different room. When they got to where they were going, he dropped her hand and started moving about the room. Probably hiding stuff he didn't want her to see. Geeze, if this didn't work, next time they could just sleep it off in her apartment. Seems like there would be less drama that way. But then again, maybe not. She was dealing with Megamind here. It's like he breathes dramatics.
"Ok, its safe," she heard her voice say.
"Finally," she muttered as she took the cape off her head. At least she didn't have any hair to mess up right now. She saw that they were in the workshop with the dismantled brainbot still on the table. She shot him a glare, "I was already in here today. What in the world did you have to hide?"
"Ah-ah, Miss Ritchi," he waggled a finger at her. "If you didn't notice earlier, I'm definitely not going to tell you now," he stated smugly. Damn! Another missed opportunity. When she initially found herself here she was freaking out too much to take in her surroundings. That wouldn't happen again.
He walked over to the work table and looked down at the brainbot. "Brace yourself, Miss Ritchi," he warned before reaching a hand out to touch something. He pulled his hand back suddenly and looked at her. "Hmm… That method seems to only work in a unilateral direction."
She sighed, "Figures… I can't go to sleep this early, especially fighting your sleep cycles. So, what are we going to do now?"
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Roxanne couldn't believe it. After the failed transfer, they checked on Minion and saw that he was busy with the plans to rebuild that teleporter thing. Megamind initially went over to help as she watched, but he quickly became withdrawn and sullen. She saw Minion give him a sympathetic glance before running them both out of the area.
After that was when things got strange. Well… strange for their usual dynamic. Instead of a gloomy atmosphere and maniacal laughter, it felt more 'friendly yet cautious.' At first Megamind attempted to distract her with a movie or something, but she distracted him by asking about a previous scheme. He actually lit up as he explained what his invention was supposed to do that time. Then she was swept along as he enthusiastically expanded on the how and why of past schemes and inventions she had been exposed to. She attempted to get info out of him about current works-in-progress or plans for the future, but he brushed those questions off. That eventually devolved into a friendly discussion of 'remember when…,' 'what happened when…' and 'what were you thinking?'
All in all, it had been… nice… It was almost like hanging out with a long-time friend. But he was a supervillain who continually kidnapped her. Not a friend! Friends don't kidnap each other for bait!
Megamind had finally convinced her to watch a movie after a delicious dinner courtesy of Minion. But, of course, Megamind was watching it too so she was chaperoned. She couldn't really concentrate on it since she was thinking about the day's events and her serial kidnapper. At least tomorrow she would be back to normal and could put this behind her. Well, until they accidently switched places again or when he got that machine rebuilt. She thought she might understand why he usually got so aggravated with Metro Man. He'd come in and destroy stuff that Megamind would just have to either scrap or rebuild. Yeah, that would get annoying. Surely that wasn't the root of their opposition, but it just might fan the flames.
Then there was Megamind himself. She kept getting glimpses that suggested the villain she thought she knew was mostly an act. Oh he was still dramatic and over-the-top, but she was seeing less and less of the partly-crazed, evil mad-scientist. Every now and then, it seemed like he'd remember how he's 'supposed' to act and throw some of it out, but she was starting to suspect that was really what it was. An act.
When the movie was finished, they decided to go to sleep. Roxanne was looking forward to the morning when everything would get back to normal. Well… normal for her anyway…
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Megamind smiled at the machine's progress. It had been few days since he and Roxanne had switched back to their proper bodies and he sent her home. Since then, he had been extremely careful not to get shocked while working on a project. He and Minion had been working nearly non-stop on the Emergency Matter Transference Machine and in just a few hours it would be complete.
He turned up the background music and put on a dark pair of welding goggles. He just had a couple more welds to do, then it was all electronics work. He was still trying to decide if he should cordially invite Roxanne when it was time to test or pull off a kidnapping. Minion was in favor of the invite, but kidnapping would have just that much more flare. And if they grabbed her early enough, there would be more time to handle any unexpected problems as opposed to waiting for her to get off work.
He lit the welding torch and leaned forward to weld on a seam. Just as the torch touched the metal, he was suddenly standing in front of an unfamiliar office door. He blinked a couple times to adjust himself to the suddenly lighter room and to reorient himself. With a sinking feeling in his stomach, he brought a hand up and looked at it. He closed his eyes with a sigh and continued to bring the hand up to his face. Just as he suspected, they had switched places again. He was so close to finishing! He ran the hand down his face and looked up to get his bearings.
"Problem, Roxanne?" a male voice unexpectedly asked from behind him. Megamind jumped in surprise and spun quickly with his fists raised. He saw a middle-aged man with graying hair sitting behind a desk. He forced himself to relax.
"I…uh…," he stalled, trying to think of something. He quickly glanced around the room and figured the man was a colleague of Roxanne's. He spotted a name-plate that read Dan Lawson. That was convenient. "I just remembered that I have a doctor's appointment today and I'm running late," he lied and looked at his wrist noticing that there wasn't a watch. Megamind put down his arm quickly in case the other guy noticed the lack of a time-telling device.
"Sorry, Roxie. I need you to do that report," he replied. Oh no. Not another report as someone else. He needed to come up with something that wasn't serious yet wouldn't cause any follow-up questions…
"I can't miss it. It's for… women stuff?" he tried. Evilness knows he didn't want to discuss it, and he was hoping that was true for other guys as well.
He saw a look of disgusted surprise cross the man's face before he replied, "That sounds…important. You'd better go. I'll have Evan cover your spot."
"Thanks," Megamind said and hurriedly exited the door to leave before another conversation, or even the same one, started.
Once he left the room, he looked around. The door lead to an open floor with about twenty desks spread out evenly around the room. Only about half of them were occupied. He presumed one of them must belong to Roxanne, but he didn't know which one. He'd never been in her office before. Unfortunately, he would need her purse to hire yet another cab to make his way to the lair. He wondered if Roxanne would object too much if he implanted her with a tracking device. For emergencies only, of course. He could do it without her knowledge if they slipped it into an unobtrusive spot, like between a couple toes, the underside of her heel, or the cartilage in her ear. That thought made him a bit uncomfortable though. Where's the fun in kidnapping the damsel if you can just press a button to find out where she's located.
Thinking of located, where is her desk? He saw a woman headed his way and instantly thought of a plan to get to Roxanne's desk. As the woman got closer, he looked at the ceiling, then quickly placed a hand over his eyes and ducked his head with a hiss.
"Hey," he called out to the woman with his eyes tightly clenched, "I got something in my eyes. Can you help me to my desk? I have eyedrops in my purse." Here's hoping that woman works here and knows Roxanne…
"Sure thing, Roxanne," the woman agreed and took Megamind by the elbow. He involuntarily flinched, but then forced himself to relax. Again. "So, you have anything planned tonight? Maybe going somewhere with Metro Man?" the woman began prying. Eww. Now there's a nauseating thought.
"Not tonight," he replied, "I think I'll stay in. I've been out of sorts lately." More like 'out of body,' but that's close enough.
"Tsk. I swear, Roxanne, it's almost like you don't have a boyfriend. You never go out," the woman complained. They hadn't made it to Roxanne's desk yet?!
"Maybe I just don't mention it?" he guessed as an answer.
"Well, Honey, if that's it then you could stand to brag more. Someone might not think you're serious and try to snatch him away from you," the nosy woman warned. But then she was probably another reporter, and that seems to be a job requirement. In fact, this whole place was probably full of nosy reporters. He had to get out of there!
"Here ya go, Sweetie," the reporter-woman said as they came to a stop.
"Thanks," he cracked open one eye to keep up the illusion, and sat down in the chair.
"Any time," she called as she hurried off. Apparently she had reporter business to tend to.
When she was out of immediate line of sight, he opened both eyes and started looking for Roxanne's purse. It had to be around here somewhere. It wasn't immediately apparent, so he started opening desk drawers. The bottom right one turned out to be locked. It would make sense to lock up a purse if you were going to step away from it. He reached down to his boot to remove the lock-picks he kept concealed in the heel, but then stopped as he noticed the unfamiliar heels he was wearing instead of his familiar boots. Nothing is ever easy. He riffled around looking for a key that would fit the lock, but came up empty-handed.
He huffed out a breath in frustration and felt his bangs move on the top of his head. Yeah, 'cause that's not weird. He started searching her desk for items that could be used to pick the lock. At least it wasn't sophisticated. It took him ten minutes, and several reshapings of a paperclip, but he finally got the lock open. He opened the drawer and saw that he was, indeed, victorious. There was her purse. She had better have some currency within for a cab.
When he pulled the purse out, he saw it was resting on top of manila files. He wasn't going to pay it any mind, but his name on one of the files caught his eye. In curiosity, he pulled it out also and opened it up. Inside was a photo of him (it looked like a screen capture from one of his many broadcasts) and several newspaper clippings. Lots of the clippings covered his glorious rivalry with Metro Man, but there were a couple that mentioned him in what could only be called 'human interest stories.' Most of those were from near-victims that claimed he purposely moved his giant robot of doom away from them at the last moment, thereby saving their life. Pfft, if they hadn't been in the way in the first place, he wouldn't have had to steer around them. It's not like most of his giant robots could turn on a dime, you know. Preposterous! Although there are high hopes for the spe-ider bot's maneuverability. It was nearly ready to test the prototype.
He decided that there wasn't anything damaging in the file, so stuffed all the clippings back inside. Then in an attempt to annoy Roxanne in the future, he took out a pen and signed the photo: 'Miss Ritchi, I didn't know you were a fan – Megamind-.' He grinned just a little evilly as he placed the photo back in the file and returned the folder to the drawer.
He got up from the desk and made his way to the elevator. On the way down, he located some cash in the same spot in her purse that he found it before. It should be enough to get him to the industrial district. He walked outside and moved away from the busy entrance. He looked down the street trying to find a cab, when someone bumped into him. He turned to glare at them then turned back to the road. As he was turning, he heard a rattling sound then a hiss as a spray hit him in the face. He thought he caught sight of a familiar furry arm right before everything faded to black.
