Disclaimer: I do not own Criminal Minds. At all.
WARNING: This chapter and mostly all the chapters following this have certainly blasphemous material. I am not making fun of God or anyone's God or faith. Randy Slade believed he was God, so I must write him that way. I am sorry if this offends anyone.
Chapter 9: Good-Bye
Today is the day.
Today, people are going to die. Cruel people. Corrupt people. People from Adam's list. People from Lewis' list. Just…people in general, I guess. And, it will be all by my doing.
Some will die as a single bullet pierces them and violently rips away their life. Some of them will die after I set off that bomb. It makes no difference in how they die because in the end, they will sent to where they truly belong and suffer for their crimes against innocent people on earth like Adam.
Hell.
That's where I would put them all.
But afterwards, I would have to leave this mortal body and reveal my true form.
God.
I imagine the angels waiting for me in heaven would be quite pleased to see me. I wonder what it would be like….Blissfully, I imagine that a brilliant white light would envelop me and send me into a beautiful place far above the clouds and human comprehension.
Unfortunately, before that can happen, I have to…leave my family back on earth. I have to leave my Dad. I have to leave my Mom. And….I have to leave Brandon.
My family.
I am sorry.
But I have to.
Perhaps they'll understand one day. Perhaps they won't. Nonetheless, they would have to cope with life without me. And that's hard enough. I know that because I had to go through several weeks of life without Adam before finding my true, new purpose to life.
Still, those weeks alone were complete hell on earth. It was terrible, living life with a person missing by your side. It was terrible, making jokes and looking around for that person to laugh, but only seeing no one there... It was terrible just…just existing without their presence.
I understood what that feeling felt like, and I could only hope my family could deal with that feeling. I was lucky enough to find my true self and my true purpose, but I don't know how my family could carry on.
The least I could do was at least simply say…good-bye.
So, in the morning, I got dressed, and carefully placed the bomb inside my backpack along with the needed phones. I paused, searching for the handgun. When I found it, I picked it up and felt its familiar grip mold into the palm of my hand before placing it inside as well. Swinging my red, worn backpack over my shoulder, I then walked to the mirror in my room. Hmm…Normally, I wouldn't care whether or not my hair looked messy or neat, but today was a big day, and Gods should look their best.
So, I combed my hair a bit before heading downstairs. There, I found Dad sitting at the kitchen counter reading a newspaper while sipping his coffee. Thank goodness. Yesterday, his plane had been delayed, and I didn't know whether or not he would get home soon enough from his meeting for me to say good-bye.
"Dad…" I said, struggling to keep my voice free of emotion, though my countenance darkened with unspoken sorrow.
He looked up, scanned my face, and placed his newspaper down before beckoning me to come closer.
"Oh, Randy….My son…My boy...Tell me. What's wrong? No. Don't give me that look. I know something's wrong."
Oh, Dad. My dad. Even though he had to fly around the world for the majority of my life for work, he was always there at important points of my life. I remember him rushing in from the airport, tugging his suitcase behind him with his hair all ruffled because he didn't want to miss my birthday. I remember that he once cancelled an important meeting in order to go see one of my wrestling matches. I remember…that he was there. For me.
And now. I would have to leave him behind.
"Dad…Daddy…I just wanted to say that I love you. Thank you…..Thank you for being there….I love you.."
That was…simple enough, right? Simple and to the point. Dad hated wordy speeches, letters….and anything wordy. But, he took this in quietly.
"That's it?" he asked quietly. I nodded fervently.
"I…just wanted to tell you that before I left…for school." I said.
"Well, then…Uh…I love you, too, son….Now, go to school and make me proud!" he beamed and leaned forward to hug me. I gratefully hugged him tightly and remembered countless times I fell asleep like this when I was little.
"I will…make you proud." I stood up and slid a smile on my face.
He waved, and turned back to his newspaper.
"Oh, and do you know where Mom is?" I asked.
"Oh, you just missed her!" he said, looking back. "She went out to buy some milk since we ran out…She'll be back in half an hour or so."
No….No. I wouldn't be able to say good-bye in person….I wouldn't be able to hug her again and see her smile again…..No….I mean, I suppose I could just call her before the event, but I wanted to hug her and see her before I had to go.
No.
But then, I remembered that upstairs, Brandon was still there, and my throat clenched with unspeakable emotion. I don't want to leave him behind. I don't want to leave anyone of them behind. But, I have to. I must. See these sacrifices? In the end, I hope this Godly status will all be worth it.
I crept up the stairs, forcing tears back and slowly opened the door to Brandon's room.
"Randy! Good morning!" Brandon's face beamed as he sat up from his bed, groggy from sleep. I moved to sit down next to him and ruffled his mussed up hair.
"Brandon…" I began. "Hi."
Brandon nodded and rubbed his eyes.
"So…I just want to say...I love you, kiddo." I began.
"Aw! I love you too, Randy!" Brandon smiled.
He was simply….such a loving, innocent kid. The world needed more people like him and less of the people I would shortly be sending to hell.
"Okay. So. You know how I said I was going to teach you how to….how to wrestle…a-and drive someday? And help you with homework?" I continued. "Sometimes, we have to think of the possibility that I'm not going to be there and help you with those things…Sometimes…these things just happen. And unfortunately, fate has a funny way of giving us exactly what we don't need….And I need to watch you grow up, Brandon, and be there every day for you. What I don't need is to watch you…but from some place else. And that's hard…Oh, that's so hard."
I looked at him, and he was quiet, just silently taking in everything I said as he looked at me with his wide eyes. Swallowing hard, I continued on.
"Yeah…There's a possibility of that happening, and if that happens, I am so sorry….I am so sorry that I won't be there for you even though I want to be there so much…Oh! And if that happens and you forget some things that I said because you're young and all that, then at least remember one thing: Remember….that you are loved. Remember that, okay? Will you do that? And remember, Brandon…I love you."
With that sentiment, I smiled weakly at Brandon, not even bother to brush away the tears that had escaped from my eyes.
This is so hard…
Brandon blinked and hugged me tightly around my waist. I scooped him up and wrapped my arms around him for a bit, and we just stayed there, hearing each other breathe and feeling each others warmth.
Finally, Brandon squirmed out of my grasp and turned to look at me.
"Okay! I will remember that! And, I love you, too. But, I have to go change now, so….I'll talk to you later?" He grinned and ran out of the room while I watched him leave.
I'll talk to you later? No. Unfortunately….no. That would be our last conversation… That would be the last time I hugged him. And, that would be the last time I would see him in this mortal form….
I just stayed there, though, for a moment longer, and finally brushed away a few stray tears, fighting to take control of my emotions. Gods can't show any weakness.
Think of something else.
Think of something else.
Think of something else…because this is too hard right now…
I finally shifted my thoughts and focused on my plans, which immediately hardened my heart. I felt my lips curl up in disgust as I thought of those bullies that forced Adam to end his own life. Soon…Soon. They would receive exactly what they deserved.
I stood up, looked around the house one last time, and before walking outside, I paused and slipped the complete list of names in one of Brandon's favorite books in his bookshelf. I had looked at those names too much, and so, they were imprinted on my head. I didn't need it anymore, and it was more important that if there was even a chance that somehow I would not succeed, though those odds are slim, perhaps Brandon could help when he's older and get rid of them all. I couldn't take that chance of anyone escaping punishment…..No survivors.
Sighing, I finally walked around my house one last time, looking at all the framed photographs on the wall and memorizing every aspect of this building I had come to call my home in my time in this mortal form.
And, with a heavy heart but a mind filled with purpose, I purposefully strode out my earthly house, looking back a bit, and marched on to school.
