Flirtation

Artie glanced up at the monitor. Voltaire was still out; that was good. All the usable parts of the time rotor were in place now, so Artie began rummaging through the parts he'd scavenged throughout the TARDIS to see if he could find bits with which to fill in the gaps. "You know what would really help here?" he said to himself, if not to Rosalind. "If I just had a maguffin, that would make this a whole lot easier. But, hey, you can never find a maguffin when you need one, right?"

Jim emerged from the ruined door into the pit and listened. All was quiet, at least for now. He reached under his jacket and produced a long thin rope with an arrowhead-shaped steel point. Next he raised his right arm and triggered the sleeve device so that his trusty derringer zipped into his palm. Fitting the arrowhead into the barrel of the derringer, he looked up at the partially open ceiling of the pit, then beyond it, gauging how far up the ceiling was as opposed to how long his rope was. Hmm. Yes, he was fairly certain he had enough length. Standing close to one of the walls of the pit, he took aim at a wooden beam in the ceiling of the lab and fired the derringer.

The arrowhead shot out of the small gun, driving into the beam with a solid thunk, embedding itself in the wood. Jim slid the derringer back up his sleeve, then pulled on the rope, testing it. It seemed to be firmly engaged in the beam and able to hold his weight. Swiftly he climbed the rope, using the wall beside him to help him ascend. He reached the top, stepped out onto solid floor, and looked around.

Yes, this was the lab he'd seen earlier; the metal hat stuck to the ceiling over in one corner was a dead giveaway, as was the harpsichord in another corner. He spotted the door he'd peeked in through earlier and headed that way. Loveless' minions should be here soon, along with the little genius himself. Jim glanced around the lab quickly as he hurried toward the door. Too many of the things Loveless had in here made no sense to Jim, but he at least knew what a few of the chemicals in their labeled bottles were. He grabbed one marked "Alcohol" and another marked "Oil of Vitriol" in case he would need improvised weapons. The former he knew to be flammable, and the latter to be nasty in the extreme.

At that point he heard a small sound behind him and turned to find a petite brunette standing in the lab with a derringer in her hand. "Hello, Mr West," she said.

"Hello, Antoinette," he replied.

She smiled. "Put those down and raise your hands."

"Of course." Jim did as he was told, a small smile on his face as well.

Antoinette moved to one side, keeping both her eyes and her aim on Jim, until she could reach a nearby table on which stood a box with a metal grill across its top surface. Clicking a switch on that box, she leaned toward it and said clearly, "Miguelito! I have Mr West with me here in the lab!"

"Excellent, my dear!" came the little doctor's voice. "We'll be right there."

She clicked the switch back to its original position, then leaned against the table. "They'll be here soon," she said.

"And in the meantime, we just… wait?"

Her eyes narrowed. "Of course. What else would we do?"

He took a step toward her, and she raised the gun threateningly. "Don't come any closer!"

"Why not?" His smile was easy and friendly. "I've always thought you liked me, Antoinette."

"Liked you? What's that supposed to mean?"

He eased another step closer. "Well, you've often given me the impression you were flirting with me."

She snorted. "Oh, that! That was only to make Miguelito jealous."

"Jealous?" He slipped a little closer to the girl with the gun. "Why would a lovely lady like you need to make her man jealous?"

A fire kindled in her eyes. "Because I'm not always the only lovely lady Miguelito has around. He has me; why does he keep bringing in others? Don't come any closer!"

"Does he have any other women here now?" Despite her repeated order to the contrary, he continued to sidle nearer and nearer to her.

"No, thank goodness, only the minions."

"How many minions?"

"Fourte… Oh no no! You're not getting any information from me!"

"I wouldn't dream of trying." He was nearly within arm's reach now.

"Stay back!"

"Dr Loveless wouldn't like it if you killed me. He reserves that honor to himself, doesn't he?"

"Yes. But I'll shoot to wound you if I have to, so get back over there where you were!"

Jim started to say something more, but just at that moment, the metal hat that was the test object for the doctor's superior adhesive abruptly lost its grip on the ceiling and fell to the floor with a clang.

Antoinette started and glanced automatically toward the sound. And Jim saw his opening and took it. He sprang at her, seized the gun and the hand holding it, and easily wrested the derringer from her. She struggled, writhing and kicking at him, so that he had to drop the derringer on the table top to catch hold of her other wrist as well.

And now that he had a woman right here, Jim did what he usually did. He pulled her close and kissed her.

She fought against him still for all of about four seconds. Then she relaxed into his embrace, and when he released her hands to slip his arms around her, she leaned into him, into the kiss, kissing him back.

At length he let her go and smiled down on her. "I've always wanted to do that," he said.

She smiled up in return, then slapped him soundly. "And I've always wanted to do that!" she replied.

"Oh, very good, Antoinette my dear! The one woman the inestimable James West cannot conquer with a kiss!"

Ah yes, Jim discovered. Loveless and the minions had arrived.

Antoinette dimpled at Jim, retrieved her derringer, then went to stand by her man. Dr Loveless grinned at the Secret Service agent. "Well, well, Mr West," he said.

"It's still a deep subject."

Loveless shook his head. "Your drollery interests me not one whit, my old friend. As you have ruined the usefulness of my pit, I shall just have to resort to Plan A."

"Plan A? Wasn't the pit Plan A?"

"Oh, Mr West, surely you must realize that, for a genius of my intellect, all my plans are Plan A!" Without turning his attention from his prisoner, Loveless said to a minion, "Danson, you and Parker take him to the cage." And as the two men came over and grabbed Jim roughly, the diminutive doctor pressed a button, causing a false wall to slide up, revealing a cage built of iron bars beyond it.

Jim resisted as the pair marched him across the room, manhandling him as they went.

"Now now!" called Loveless. "There's no need to damage him in any way. I'm sure Mr West will cooperate."

In fact, Mr West cooperated so little that he yanked both Danson and Parker off balance and rammed them into each other, then punched them while both were discombobulated, laying them out cold on the floor. Now he dove behind a counter as the rest of Loveless' minions started firing at him. Drawing his own gun, West fired back.

Loveless and Antoinette scurried to hide behind another counter. From that position of relative safety, the good doctor cried out, "Stop it! Stop shooting! Cease firing at once!"

It took another few seconds for that order to filter through, but the minions finally held their fire, and so did West.

"Now," said Loveless loudly, "as I was saying, Mr West, you will be cooperative!"

"I will? Give me one good reason why," Jim replied.

"Indeed I shall, Mr West, the finest reason of all. If you will look into the cage in which I had ordered my men to confine you, you shall see that…" and he dissolved into chuckles, "…I already have Mr Gordon."

In disbelief, Jim turned to look at the enclosure. Within it, huddled and miserable, sat a big dark-haired man in a mauve cutaway suit, his knees drawn up and his arms clasped around them. And as Jim's eyes widened in shock, the man in the cage lifted his head to reveal the face of Artemus Gordon.