Chapter 9
Note: Italicized is Shego's thoughts. Bold is her conscience. Odd formatting, I know.
*This story has been modified from its original version. It has been formatted to fit your has been edited for comprehension and to run in the allotted time. Characters do not belong to me.
"… but to a hammer, everything looks like a nail." Good grief, now she had bloody country song lyrics running though her head. Stupid henchmen, they did listen to the worst radio stations. Still, it was appropriate. What could she smash, what to smash…?
Smash and Dr. Director'll be down on your head. Stupid conscience always popped up at the worst of times… at least it did lately. Where had it come from anyway? It never used to bother her. Just think of the headlines… "Reformed Thief back in Prison: 5 minutes after the award ceremony honoring her former employer for saving the world, ex-mercenary/thief was arrested for property damage in the area surrounding the UN building where the awards were being held…" Shego growled. First she was feeling chagrin from the unwelcome appearance of her brothers, and now from being chastised by her conscience! What the heck was up with that?!
There on the curb was a beautiful car, black and sleek, leather interior, sweet stereo system… it must have cost a fortune. The green flames engulfed her hand as it was drawn back for the punch. That's not fair to Drakken. Think about it, he's facing the same reluctance from the villains; don't you think he needs your support? Don't you think you can commiserate just a little bit? And you give him that support by running off and smashing cars you know he'll end up paying for. So what? The moron deserves it. And this needs to stop. People are going to start thinking I'm crazy and have split personalities or something. Who's going to know you have two voices in your head unless you start talking to yourself out loud? I work with villains, I'm sure at least one of them has a mind-reading device. Now SHUT UP!
Shego, whose arm had temporarily relaxed a bit, resumed her position to destroy the car. Don't you think you're being a bit of a craven? You again? Can't you let me destroy something first? And what do you mean by craven? No one can accuse me of being a coward; I'm Kim Possible's most formidable opponent! You're hiding from your feelings… thoughts… sentiment… denying them, repressing them, hiding from them… that seems pretty cowardly to me. SHUT UP!!!!!And the plasma went through the window and out the other side; Shego shielded her face as the glass exploded. Now you've done it. And I've had enough of you. I'm not going to go crazy yet. She was running, running away from the blaring car alarm, cursing her skirt and grateful that she had forgotten her shoes. A dash down an alleyway and a few swings up the side of a building, grabbing onto window ledges and fire escapes, and she was safe on the roof tops, watching the pandemonium she had left a few blocks back. Somehow, against all reasonable probability and supporting all Hollywood melodrama, the car's gasoline had ignited causing a wonderfully beautiful conflagration.
Are you sure you're not crazy? Dang, you're adamant. Don't you ever give it a rest? What happened? You shut up for 10 years or so- I'm grateful for that, you're pretty vacuousafter all- and you choose now to start bugging me? Eh, what can I say? It happens when you save the world. I start to feel guilty for going off to that nice resort in Malibu. Guilty, why the heck would you be guilty for that? Whoa, wait a second. This is getting way too psychotic. Go away! Fine, I'll let you deal with Dr. Betty Director on your own.
Sure enough, GJ agents were appearing on the scene. Shego ducked below the ledge of the rooftop. She was going to be in for it this time… There was no good escape route, and in this dress she wouldn't be able to take on 20+ agents. When she left Drakken, she was so taking one of the hovercars.
Drakken sat by himself; the other villains were studiously avoiding him, fearing that if Shego came back and saw them associating with him, they too would feel her wrath. After all, she was hardly known for being magnanimous. His coffee was cold now so he got up to throw it away. As he turned away he was met by the same teenager who had been annoying Shego before the ceremony.
"Scary green girl ditchya?" He mumbled through a mouth of donut. "Personally I'd say you're lucky dude. She's scary."
"Do I know you?" asked Drakken, annoyed that someone else had the gall to rub his misfortune in his face.
"I mean really, I like hot girls but she is so not worth it. Did you know her hands can catch on fire? Spontaneously?! Oh right… you two worked together or something didn't you?" His blithe conversational tone made Drakken want to pull his hair out.
"Yes we worked together! Now if you don't mind I was about to go off and sulk!" He made to push the kid aside.
"Whoa dude, chill. I was just talking… ya know, innocuous-like."
"That's a saying?"
"Anyway, I'm just saying, if she's normally that aggressive… Think about it man. You're free now, no one to hen-peck you… You can be your own man, start afresh, be the person you always wanted to be!"
For a moment, Drakken got caught up in the boy's speech. "Yeah!... Wait a minute. Ed put you up to this didn't he?"
The boy's laid-back and cool-guy personality re-morphed into his self-impressed one. "Yes, sir. I wouldn't have done it sir, except… he paid well and I need the money. These suits aren't cheap." And with that he walked off.
Suddenly GJ troops went rushing past the window. Drakken vaguely heard Killigan mutter, "Aye, the lass has done it again. Can she nae stay straight for a few 'ours?"
"Sheeee-GOOOOO!" Drakken rushed out, desperate to find the hover car. There was no way he was getting stuck with the bill for this.
Drakken floated high above the chaos of firefighters, police cars, GJ agents, and curious onlookers, spitting out leaves as he did so. In his haste he had flown right through a very tall hydrangea bush resulting in his being covered with a number of leaves and twigs. He scanned the roof tops, looking for Shego. How did he know she preferred the roof tops to alleyways? Oh well, that wasn't important at the moment. What was important was that his vine had re-sprouted and was nearly strangling him.
Spluttering, he managed to pull the vine off his neck, but before he could yell, stomp, or otherwise properly punish it, it began waving frantically towards a building behind Drakken. There was a small speck of green and black hiding behind a ledge and an air conditioning unit. Another good question: could the vines see?
Drakken flew quickly to where the green figure was. "Shego, get in. Now!" Startled, she looked up, and seeing her boss she jumped in without another word and they sped off.
"You realize you just managed to destroy your hero reputation, don't you?" asked Shego, curiously subdued.
Drakken was silent for a moment then answered, "I've always said we're an evil family… and evil or not, families stick together."
Shego was surprised at the Doc's maturity. "Thanks… for, you know, saving my hide back there." It was probably one of the most sincere things she had ever said.
Of course, the moment was ruined as the one and only Dr. Betty Director showed up on the view screen. "Both of you are DEAD!"
